Jokes about the characters

Read funny Jokes about Harry Potter

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- "Catch Capiat qui capere potest who can catch" .
(an inscription on a snitcha)
A not the signature of Victor Krum as some think.

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Nimbus 98, Nimbus 2000, Nimbus XP... Take off for a window leaf!

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And well, be quickly pricked! On whose party, a reptile, actually?! - shouted chorus Voldemort with Dumbledore, having seized Snape for grudki.
nikogda still the Master Zely was not so close to a failure...

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- And you know who at us most of all loves jokes about Hogvarts?
-Who?
-Sneyp.
-Truth???
-Aha, it collects them... together with story-tellers.

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- And in what order to watch the Harry Potter movies?
- Look at the size of the breast Hermione.

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And tell to the translator that she - the Baba-yaga!
podpis: Zlodeus Zley.

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And snow all fell and fell...................
"Oh was also torn professor Snegg" - Harry thought

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- Awad... - there began Dark Lord.
-Kedavra - Potter gloomy finished, aiming to the Lord a candlestick between an eye

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Night Knight bus. Harry: - I will be able to reach to Kosoy Lane? Driver: - No. Ron: - And I?

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Albus Dumbledore was such ancient, such ancient old man that instead of spermatozoa it had spermatozavra.

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Albus Dumbledore goes down somehow in a vault of professor of Sneypa:
-Severus at us such misfortune! Harry Potter fell from a sweeper!
-Well and what?
-So it to death broke!
-Well and what?
-All school in mourning!
-Well and what?
-Yes generally, anything. I here a lemon water-ice brought to you...

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Voldemort's ambitions spoke very simply. Besides, that it was a gryaznokrovka, it was also: devoted Jew, jealous Catholic, Muslim fanatic, faithful Buddhist and shaman Vudu!

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Umbridge "brings up" Draco of Malfoya:
- The Real slizerinets has to...
-of Nifiga, - Wad Dra, - to the real slizerinets d about l of N y kills it.

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Umbridge at a lesson at magglovsky school (settled the ambassador Hoga, far away from magic and the half-blooded,
prepodayet fiziku:
-to me on the head falls a brick. What work he makes?
klass chorus: - Useful, professor Umbridge!

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- Argus, your cat eats the newspaper! Start up
-eats, it yesterday's!

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Artur comes home happy and tells Molli:
-Now Fadzh did not begin to use cunning! He clearly told that when Christmas and Easter will have in one day, he will raise to me a salary!.

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Arthur Weasley in shop of madam of Malkin:
-Znayete, me a cloak for the daughter...
Size?
-well- At... It on the fourth year of Hogvartsa.
-A is more exact?
Na fourth year of the house Griffindor!

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- The grandmother, the grandmother and why you have such big eyes? That you it is better for
-to see It, Nevill.
- The Grandmother, the grandmother and why you have such large ears? That you it is better for
-to hear It, Nevill.
- The Grandmother,

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- The grandmother, I again flew in a dream!
-So it you, an infection, cut me?!?!

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The bartender addresses to Bleku:
- At you a glass empty, whether wish one more?
TOT, vozmushchenno:
- And on a horse-radish to me two empty glasses?!

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Talk Harry and RON.
-That at you to the head? You told
-to be tonsured under a pot! So the handle shave
-!

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Weasley's twins rummage in a mother's bag...
MOLLI:
-As to you is not a shame!? It is ugly to dig in others bag!!!
-Mother, you have others bag?!!

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The black decided to play a trick. Approached the call box, gathered nomer:
-Hallo, it is Department Avrorov? Yes, we listen to
-… Badly work with
-, - and hung up trubku.
na following perekrestke:
-Hallo, it is Department Avrorov?
K suit it behind, clap on plechu:
-Department Avrorov, Department Avrorov. Both we are able, and we work.

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Black and Snape wait for Dumbledore. Sirius smokes. Severus * having wrinkled nos*:
-Listen, Black, you with the cigarette look like the moron!
sirius * otvlechenno*:
-Sorry, Snape, I will brush away in other party.

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Blek-Sneyp
-Zdravstvuyte, by the way!
Da went you... just in case!

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God decided to learn how Hogvarts's students prepare for examinations. Sent an angel to the earth a month before examination. That reconnoitered, reports: "Puffenduy, Kogtevran and Slytherin learn, Griffindor thumps". One week prior to examination sends: "Puffenduy, Kogtevran and Slytherin learn, Griffindor thumps". Night before examination: "Puffenduy, Kogtevran and Slytherin sleep off, Griffindor prays". God speaks: "Well here also we will help them!"

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Boggart Sirius Black turned in... huge flea

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Most movies about Harry Potter surprised David Kopperfild. "In principle, - the great magician told, - to make everything that there showed, it is not so difficult for me but as the boy managed to pass with baggage on the station and not to meet any porter - for me it validly secret!"

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The crew of hackers will help to change the password in the picture specified by you.

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How the final part Of the epic about Harry Potter will be called?
-Harry Potter And Sacred Inquisition.

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In Hogsmid's bar only two visitors, one being drunk stumble about a foot drugogo.
-Oh, I apologize! May I treat you with beer?
-C pleasure!
vypili. The first speaks:
- And you, the friend, from where will be?
-Ya? From Anglii.
-Well?!! And I from England! Give for England?
vypivayut.
-A you to what school went?
-of Hogvarts, finished in 98-M.
-Well, Well, blow me down! Happens such! I too in the 98th and too school of Hogvarts!
B is time the third client comes into the bar, speaks to the bartender: - Pour to me a mug. That at you here the newcomer?
BARMEN:
-Yes anything, here Weasley's twins again touched …

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In hospital office: At Potter's bed costs Dobby: - "Mr. Potter, is short …"

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... While thoroughbred and not really wizards puzzled over a spell which will allow them to pass line and to reach fire cup, usual magl would arrive much more simply: would throw notes because of line, trying to get to a cup...

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In Hogvarts Rozhdestvo!
Kak always sent to Dursley Harry Fuflovy a gift - Air sharik.
garri decided it to inflate. Blows, blows. The room is run in by Ron. He saw how the ball reached the huge sizes. And suddenly BA-BAH!!!! The ball bursts. At Harry broke off a mouth from an ear to an ear. Teeth all took off. About eyes I in general am silent. Ron, having clamped ushi:
-to You, Harry, ridiculously, and me, by the way, stuffed up ears!

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In the city of Odessa distant relatives of Harry Potter are found. After viewing of the movie the famous chess player Rudik Potterman told: "No, well you saw? I still when spoke to it: "Garrick if you itself do not learn to move figures properly, will be able to help you only magic!""

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In Gringotsa, at the height of the working day wild shouts are distributed, guys in a camouflage and in masks rush. In total on change, here shout: "To lie, this robbery!". The main goblin, falling by a floor: "Frightened, swine, I thought - tax police..."

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In the childhood Severus Snape dreamed to become an astronaut... What nit did not take
I it in astronauts?!!

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In life of professor Snape there was only one woman who could do with him that will want. Called her Joanne Rowling.

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In some interview of Joann told that the word shram.
odin from options kontsovki
" will be the last word of the latest book... And at Harry the laid on scar fell off..."