Jokes about the characters

Read funny Jokes about Harry Potter

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Harry was stroked by Zhivoglota, Zhivoglot hissed and died. "Strange", - Harry thought, and with surprise looked at the iron.

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Harry thought, what he not for the first time notices, what professor Snegg is able to read strangers mysli.
"Who told you such nonsense, Potter?" - professor with irritation grumbled.

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Harry approaches Ginny on Christmas balu.
-to Ginny, you dance? Ginny, vostorzhenno:
-I Dance, I sing, I love cats... You chyo spin
-? I Spin
-, I knit, I cross stitch...

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Harry Potter and Voldemort. Final scene. Voldemort:
-On knees!!! On knees!!!! Garr gets to him on koleni.
-Well here, long ago so:

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Harry Potter got up early in the morning, put on, made a bed, sat down not a sweeper, put to himself on a shoulder the Curl, approached an open window and thoughtfully progovoril:
-Kuda we will go at first?
-is better at once to the psychiatrist, and on foot, - the Curl answered, - and that if you now will jump out in a window, it is necessary to visit the traumatologist at first.

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Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy advertize in gazetu:
dvoye the young, beautiful, sexually liberated guys will get acquainted with two young, beautiful, sexually liberated little girls for pleasant pastime in their territory.
C one condition: little girls, chur not to spy!!!

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Harry Potter bought the dear Godfather as a gift a collar against fleas, and built the doghouse of a red dereva:.

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Harry Potter turned into Draco Malfoy and went to Snape's lesson.
A Draco Malfoy turned into Snape and went to the lesson.
sneyp turned into Dambldor and went to Snape's lesson.
A Dambldor turned into Harry Potter and too went to Snape's lesson. Also it got
Ox from all three!

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Harry Potter on reception at doktora:
- The Doctor, tell, and I can drink beer?
-What beer?!
- And in the future?
-What future?!

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Harry Potter comes to Sneypu:
-Professor, I need urgently any potion, I have a megalomania … What you can have
-mania, you are a pathetic, contemptible bug!

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Harry Potter came to Voldemortu:
-I Want to become the Devourer Smerti!
-of Awad Kedavr! Eat, be not bespotted!!!

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Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Grendzher (7th book):
garri: Here tell Ron of what you think looking at these stars?
RON: I think of that Harry that tomorrow weather will be horoshaya.
garri: And I, Ron, think that at us filched tent...

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Harry Potter and Ron Weasley somewhere on prirode:
-Here tell Ron of what you think looking at these stars?
-Ya I think of that Harry that tomorrow weather will be horoshaya.
- And I, Ron, I think that at us filched tent...

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Harry Potter got into the car and ordered firm golosom:
-Touch! Malfoy reddened and touched...

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Harry Potter is famous for that can find a way out of critical situations.
Ho even more it is famous for that can find an entrance there.

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Harry Potter asks professor of Sneypa:
-What music most of all is pleasant to you, the sir?
-Before your emergence, Potter, were pleasant to me cries of the griffindorets who lost a kviddichny match.

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Harry Potter hated to play in badminton.
osobenno a situation of "Volan-mne-Vmord".

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Harry Potter part one - "Harry Potter ate a philosophers' stone"
smotrite continuation - "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets".

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Harry is employed. For a start he should draw a circle. It leaves to a board, the beret swept and, without tearing off a hand, draws accurate krug.
-As to you it worked well without compasses? I on collectings at professor Alkhimiya of a potion stirred seven years
-A.

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Harry comes in sovyatnyu and calls: "Hedrik, Curl, Hevdiga! Hedrik, Curl, Hevdiga! "
K suits it Malfoy and with a gadenky ukhmylochka asks:
" That, Potter, One owl does not cope with all love notes? "
" Is not present, simply the translations different".

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Harry came to madam Pomfri with the complaint on head bol
-What to apply at the splitting headache?
podoshel professor of Sneyp
-Try glue, Potter.

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Harry wakes up in the middle of the night, having clutched at the head, and sees that the bed has Voldemort with two dementorami.
garri (Hogvarts shouts at all)
voldemort: And would pay taxes - and would sleep peacefully …

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Harry in the heat of quarrel of Chzhou:
-As you can think, what after you I will be able to fall in love with other girl? Now I hate all of them!

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Harry talks with odnokursnikami:
-Children, I to himself on Potions always the photo of Umbridzh beru.
-What for?! To
-Well here, present: potions stink, Snape removes points, Malfoy gets... And I look at it and I think: "Merlin all-powerful, it is good as!"

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Harry: Oh no! Ron, the Flounce - Mort killed my parents...
RON: Never call this name!
garri: And what? You are afraid?
RON: No, simply I hate Litvinova's translation. Call it simply Voldemort... And Nevill - Longbottom...

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Harry and Ron. Harry jingles on a guitar, and Ron smokes. Harry sings: "Pancake, pancake, pancake...". Ron listens. Passes two hour, Harry still sings: "Pancake, pancake, pancake...". Evening. Harry puts a guitar on the earth and speaks: "All!". Ron, having shed a few tears: "Harry, write down to me words! Touched deeply!"

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Harry, Ron and Hermione went to a campaign. Sit in the cave located in the small mountain fry sausages on a fire. Suddenly the entrance to a cave has some figures in dark raincoats with hoods. One of comers gives a hand towards Harry... That, without turning around kidayet:
"Frodo Baggins - on the mountain to the North from here. "
figury disappear. Garri:
" Nazgulov divorced, the pancake, - even is more than Revelling in Death..."

*****

Harry, Ron and Hermione resort to Dambldoru:
-Mister director, the Crybaby Mirtl was gone! Dumbledore, crafty looking at pupils through ochki:
- The Saboteur Mirtl performs my task - now it gets Voldemort.

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Harry, Ron and Hermione stand between a hell and paradise. An angel them asks:
-Raise a hand who from you stole something in the life! Harry and Ron lifted ruki.
-Raise a hand who from you to somebody lay in the life. Harry and Ron raised a hand. The angel speaks chyortu:
-Take away these two in a hell. Points to Germionu:
- And this deaf there.

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Harry and Ron on the desert island. Without food, fresh water, and without magic wands week. Suddenly Ron brings wild utok.
garri: From where it? And how got?
RON: Yes there, by the sea. Boomerang sbil.
garri: And boomerang from where?
RON: Yes, under a palm tree rolled...
garri: Listen Ron if you once again touch my socks, I with your tie will go to a tiger to hunt.

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Harry and Ron hunted on elephants. Here suddenly one elephant ran on them. Harry and Ron climbed on a tree and sit, the elephant does not leave. Ron asks Garri:
- The nest Can at it here? And Harry to it otvechayet:
-You che fool? They live in holes!

*****

Harry and Ron talk: - Ron, you did not see my owl? - A-a-a, and I think why the rag leaves traces from claws and feathers on a table when I wipe it dust.

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Harry and Ron sit at house elves in kitchen. Germiona:
-runs up to them Register in my club on protection of these beings!!! They erase to us, prepare for us and clean after us!! RON:
-delivers to Germi, elves udovolsvy to look after us! I TELL
-Ya ABOUT our MOTHERS, the IDIOT!!!!!!!

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Harry and Ron hurry on Hogvarts-express.
-How many to train withdrawal?
-On my hours 10 minut.
- And on mine - 5!
-Means, you will not be in time.

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Harry to Ron obrashchayetsya:
-You that such sad?
-Yes here flirted with Hermione...
-Well and?
-Priubil...

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- Harry, and where Saturn? - Ron asks, looking on nebo.
-I do not know, ask Hermione, she eternally shifts everything from place to place.

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Touched with Harry with Cedric the Cup of Fire and were transferred to the thrown cemetery. Suddenly Cedric fell dead. Harry pricked up the ears

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Harry looked at the beam connecting its stick to a stick of Dark Lorda.
v to the head of it there was only one thought: "Only not diskonnekt! Only not diskonnekt!"

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Harry, being confused, approaches Snape, after that, that once again rescued
kak to it zhizn:
-Professor, I do not even know how to thank you...
sneyp, looking at Harry strange vzglyadom:
-Know-know, Potter...