Jokes about the Chukchi

Read funny Jokes about the Chukchi

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The Chukchi in plague sits. Comes vtoroy:
-Salute of a trestle!
- You are salute …

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The Chukchi in plague, suddenly knock in dver.
-Who there, however sits?
- It we, geologist and surveyor!
-A I know, however, you the geologist, come, and there tie the surveyor!

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The Chukchi in plague sits, reads the Pravda newspaper with matherals of a sjez-
D. The person runs in. "Chukchi! There your deer in an abyss jumped! "
chukcha does not come off the newspaper. The second person runs in. "Chukchi! Tam
dva yours a deer in an abyss jumped!" The Chukchi reads the newspaper. Vbegayet
trety person. "Chukchi! There all your herd in an abyss jumped! "
chukcha raises the head from the newspaper. "However, - a tendency!"

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Two Chukchi brothers stay at home, one pulls out a cigarette, so and to light there is nothing. Speaks bratu:
-Hear go down to the yard ask for whom - a thread the spichki.
chukcha-brother went down, asks at prokhozhikh:
-Matches is?
- Is not present, zazhigalka.
-Matches are?
- Is not present, zazhigalka.
-Matches are?
- Is not present, zazhigalka.
vozvrashchayetsya, speaks:
-However there are no matches at anybody, current zazhigalki.
-Well a pancake go bring a lighter!
opyat goes down, the Lighter asks at by prokhodyashchikh:
-is?
- Is not present, spichki.
- The Lighter is?
- Is not present, spichki.
- The Lighter is?
- Is not present, spichki.
vozvrashchayetsya.
-However there is no lighter at anybody, all have matches, brat.
brat with irritation, throwing out sigaretu:
-Well and stupid you, the Chukchi! Extinguish a candle, to sleep went!

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Three at kostra:
-sit Steel strekozet departed, - told one, showing on vertolet.
- The Steel seal floated, - told other hour through two, provozhaya
vzglyadom underwater lodku.
- The Steel deer creeps, - told the third, showing on the all-terrain vehicle,
polzushchy uphill. With your wife lives, with my wife lives, with ego
zhenoy lives. Expedition is called.

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Sit three Chukchi at kostra:
-Steel strekozet departed, - told one, showing on vertolet.
- The Steel seal floated, - told other hour through two, provozhaya
vzglyadom underwater lodku.
- The Steel deer creeps, - told the third, showing on the all-terrain vehicle,
polzushchy uphill. - With your wife lives, with my wife lives, from it zhenoy
zhivet. Expedition is called.

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Two Chukchi on the bank of the Ledovity ocean sit. One speaks:
-you Want, I will tell a political joke to you?
- However is not present, and that still will banish somewhere.

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Chukchi at morya.
-sit Look, the plane departed!
- Yes - and- And! Probably pravitelstvennyy.
-Is not present, the motorcycle ahead is not present!

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Two Chukchi sit and saw a bomb. By the geologist goes. Saw, krichit:
-Idiots! She will explode!
- of Anything, however, we have one more.

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Two Chukchi sit, saw a bomb. Passes by muzhik:
-Hey, you that do, she will explode!
- However, anything, we have one more!

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Sit in plague the Chukchi father, growth 1,50 and Chukchi mother 1,40. The Chukchi son 1,30 comes and brings the Chukchi girl 1,20. "The father, mother, is my bride. Bless us". Mother - I "Bless". The father - "And I - no! So we to mice to … I am eaten!"

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Two Chukchi sit in plague. One reads the newspaper after a while he utters with a clever look: "Something disturbs me Honduras, "
- " I spoke to you, - the second Chukchi answers, - do not finger it."

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- Tell why there is no Chukchi football player?
- Chukchi not the fool! Chukchi owner of a soccer team!

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Tell how to pass on Haritonovskaya?
- You Will take the 36th tram and you will pass 3 ostanovki.
-Thanks. 1st tram, 2nd tram, the 3rd....

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- Oil, gas, metals will come to an end soon. Probably, we will live more poorly?
- Well, as before - natural furs, stones.

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The Chukchi serves in tank troops. After a while there comes to part the general with check. Well, checks training of tankmen. There are in the field tanks, and the general them in ratsiyu:
- The First tank... Went! (the first tank went)
- the Second tank... Went! (the second tank went)
- the Third tank... Went! (the third tank costs)
- the Third tank! Went!!! (the third tank costs)
- the THIRD TANK! Went!!!
IZ of the hatch of the tank gets out the Chukchi, removes a helmet from the head and, pointing a finger at it, speaks:
-Men...! Blya I will be! - The cap talks!!!

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The Chukchi is going to overtake deer on a new pasture and punishes zhene:
-Look, geologists will arrive by helicopter, vodka will drink, potom
spat will call. you under the geologist do not take in head to lay down, and that zaberemeneesh.
uyekhal the Chukchi, geologists arrived. Sat at a fire, drank, and then the geologist to the Chukchi's wife offers:
-we Will go in chum.
-we Will go, only the husband does not allow me under you lozhitsya.
- Then you from above lozhis.
koroche speaking, overslept. In the morning the geologist departs, the wife of the Chukchi waves at parting rukoy:
-Fly, fly, the little fool pregnant!

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Chukchi created scientific institute. Ask to bring them the brick train. Sent. After a while ask to bring still. Again sent. Then still. Became interested in Moscow: "What do they build such there?" Sent the commission to check construction. Come. See, there are on the seashore some people and throw into water bricks. "What you such do it?" - ask ikh.
- And you look, bricks square, and circles from them on water round, - the commissions answer.

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The Canadian, the Russian and the Chukchi at whom frosts silnee.
kanadets:
- At us such frosts argue that when stsysh, a stream zamerzayet.
russkiy:
- And at us will throw a bucket into a well until you pull out - a block lda.
chukcha:
- And we have, however, such frosts that the word will be told, and it on the fly freezes and falls … However, on spring such pi*dyozh begins!

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Asked somehow chukchu:
-As you think, what people the silliest?
- Armenians, however!
- Why?
- Yes here my neighbor, the Armenian, sleeps, however, with my wife... I tell
Ya to it: "Fool! It my wife! Does not understand...

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Chukchi put a performance about Caesar in three deystviyakh.
pervoye action: there is a Chukchi, knocks a fist on a breast: "I am Caesar!",
potom ukhodit.
vtoroye action: leave two Chukchi. The first: "I am Caesar!". The second -
"And I - Brut!". Both ukhodyat.
tretye action: leave three Chukchi. The first: "I am Caesar!". The second: "A
Ya - Brut!". The third: "And I - Brut!". The first and second chorus: "And you Brut!!??" .
konets. Curtain.

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The old Chukchi teaches young okhotitsya.
ubil a seal, speaks:
-Meat, a skin, zhir.
ubil olenya:
-Meat, a skin, zhir.
-Understood, however?
molodoy answers: - However, understood!
- Well, give, however, itself!
molodoy left. Comes back, something nesyot.
- The Geologist. Alcohol, matches, cartridges, canned food, tobacco!

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There is a Chukchi at a stop and looks at the passing transport. The second Chukchi approaches it and asks:
-What, however, transport the fastest? Trolleybus
-. You see how quickly attached runs, and If
otvyazat?

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There is a Chukchi on a post. In bushes rustle. He asks, how polozheno:
- The Password?
- Black sky!
- is wrong, the password - the white earth, pass, next time be not mistaken.

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There is a Chukchi on a post, other Chukchi meets halfway. The first speaks:
-Tell the password!
- Password! Pass
-!

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Judge the Chukchi militiaman for execution of a soccer team in time matcha.
- The Defendant how you explain the mad act?
- of the Commander ordered. He for "Spartak" boleet.
-As it could such order you? He told
-: "To shoot only at my team!"

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- How did you manage that? alone, all at the same time and so bring the whole shtab
pogubit? that the most difficult thing was on a mission?

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There is such assumption of that, from where there were jokes about the Chukchi. In the 20th years on all Chukotka was only 2 avtomobilya.
i they managed to face among themselves.

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Congress of hunters for crocodiles in Congo. The Englishman acts: "I killed hundred crocodiles." The Frenchman acts: "I killed two hundred crocodiles." The Chukchi acts: "I killed fifty noser. "All were surprised and decided to spot on whom the Chukchi hunts. See: the Chukchi with a rifle to a bush creeps, from a bush the frightened Black jumps out. Chukchi: "Crocodile?" - "No, Sir!"

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The taxi driver took the Chukchi with Kazan to Leningrad vokzala.
-How many it is necessary to pay? - asks chukcha.
-Three twenty five, - without having blinked answers Driver.
chukcha gets a wallet, counts dengi:
-Time twenty five, two twenty five, three twenty five!

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Only in good hands! Urgently and cheap I sell to
B of communication with departure Chukotka. A beautiful place with an amazing view of the Bering Strait, the big territory, the environmentally friendly area. A payment form any, but it is desirable in pounds sterlingov.
obrashchatsya to London, to ask Roma (there all know me).
P.S. You only do not forget to feed with the Chukchi.

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Tundra. -40. Two Chukchi in in plague … conversation that still …
ODIN dpugomu:
-Guess, however, how many at me deer, I will give oboikh.
vtopoy thought, thought and tells (uncertainly …)
- However, two … to
pepvy, shepotom:
-However, shama - and - An …

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Ask the Armenian radio: what nation the most sexual?
armyanskoye of radio answers: Chukchi. You only imagine the first marriage polar night.

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At one Chukchi the alarm clock broke. It comes in chasovuyu
masterskuyu, where the inspector too the Chukchi. He opened an alarm clock i
vidit, what in the mechanism got stuck dead tarakan.
-will not work, - surely states on.
-Why? - the owner chasov.
-is surprised the Mechanic died! - the inspector makes a helpless gesture.

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- We on Chukotka have a custom, however, such. When to the Chukchi in plagues the guest comes, the Chukchi to it the wife offers.
-It what for?
-A differently, however, anybody on a visit will not come …

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At the Chukchi sprashivayut:
- At you in general among the Chukchi happen blue?
- Of course happen! What are we not men perhaps?

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At the Chukchi the fourth child was born. The Chukchi fills in documents: a nationality of mother - "Chukchi", the father's nationality - "Chukchi", the child's nationality - "Chinese". It sprashivayut:
- The Chukchi why you write, what the child the Chinese, after all you with the wife both Chukchi?
- However the Chukchi in the newspaper read that on the earth every fourth - the Chinese!

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At the Chukchi sprashivayut:
-As you think, underground somebody lives?
- Yes.
-A why you so think? Well someone paints with
-a radish in red tsvet.
ptichka3

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At the Chukchi sprashivayut:
-What most terrible and dangerous bird? Hang-glider
-, however. The Chukchi three times shot the person released so far