Jokes about the Chukchi

Read funny Jokes about the Chukchi

Jokes about the Chukchi

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The Chukchi fell asleep in the elevator. He is awoken grabiteli:
-Take off a fur coat!
- However, long fell down, till the summer...

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The Chukchi gets a job, and a sheet of paper instead of the signature it stavit
tri krestika.
-It still that such?
- Name, surname and academic degree.

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The Chukchi got a job the inspector of GAI. Stops the car and asks shofera:
-Jokes about the Chukchi you know? prava.
shofer gives your
-Znayu.
-to it instead of the calendar is right. The Chukchi gets komposter.
-January will not go, - punches a hole on January, February and so until the end of the year. Then overturns a calendar. There it is written: "Gosstrakh". The Chukchi does one more hole, - And an insurance will not receive.

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The Chukchi learns syna:
-… and never, the sonny, however, do not eat yellow snow …

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The Chukchi (H) washes in a bath. The Armenian (A).
A approaches it: - Chukchi! You are necessary to me for carrying out scientific experience!
Ch: - And how it????!
A: - And we now will check, whether there is at you a through pass between zadnitsey
i chlenom.
ch: -????!
A: - Drag a glass with water, you will lower the tool there, and I to you in zad
svoy will insert... If bubbles go, means is through prokhod.
nu the Chukchi leaves, long he is not present, then he comes back and bears a basin with vodoy.
a: - And it what for?
Ch: - And we will make a little not so... I will sit down in this basin, and you to me v
chlen will blow if bubbles go, means there is a pass.

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Presented to Chukchi the car. In a month are interested how in it is to them? Those otvechayut:
-Anything, only on doors in a toilet the inscription "During the parking is forbidden to use" so as to whom will be impatient, so all plagues to and fro should push this car on the tundra …

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2 months explained to the Chukchi the principle of operation of the computer and trained in programs. The teacher at examination asks:
-Is questions?
CHUKCHA:
-Yes. However, did not understand, this healthy box what for?

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The Chukchi was explained by the girlfriend that it is possible to reach it on 139 avtobuse.
na appointment the Chukchi did not arrive as waited only for the 136th, the last …

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The Chukchi photograph on the passport, the Photographer decided to take one picture and to distribute to all. One Chukchi speaks not my photo. The photographer was surprised and asks:
-your Eyes?
-MOI.
-your Nose?
-MOY.
-your Person?
-MOYE.
-So why it on your photo?
- not my Jacket.

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- Why 17 chukchenok go crowd to movie theater?
- Yes because is written there that children to 16 are not allowed …

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Chukchi seriously went in for cinematography. They shot one more movie about war. I will give short endurance from filma:
-Tuk, tuk, tuk. Oleg Koshevaya of the house?
- Is not present, in the tundra of a leaflet raskleivayet.
-Tell that the Gestapo, came, very much swore.

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- Why not Chukchi water-ski?
- can not find a lake with a slope.

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Chukchi took offense at Moscow for jokes and decided to send raketu.
vzyali a pine there, hollowed, filled gunpowder, put, set fire and were washed away. Na
polyanke - a hell. Because of a tree two chukchey:
-get out And represent that now in Moscow is created!

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Chukchi addressed to the Central Committee of CPSU that them ceased to call Chukchi: offensively. And the Central Committee of CPSU were published by the resolution the Chukchi to call simple "the people of Far North". May Day demonstration. The commentator reports: "There is a delegation of the people of Far North. They bear banners: "WORLD!", "WORK!", "MAY", "JUNE", "JULY", "AUGUST!"... No! After all it are Chukchi!"

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Chukchi declared war to China! In China general mobilization, gathers many million army. Moves on the snow desert: infantry, tanks, etc. In the middle of the desert there is a yurta. The army surrounds a yurta. The chief Chinese general enters a yurta with aide-de-camps, suite, protection. In the middle of a yurta near the fading fire three chukchey.
general:
-Vy Chukchi sit?
pervy chukcha:
-My Chukchi!!!
you to China declared war?
vtoroy chukcha:
-My!!!
you, what woodpeckers?! Us one and a half billion!!!
trety the Chukchi being quietly tightened by a tube on an exhalation speaks:
- *б yours and where we will bury all of them?!

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Chukchi shoot the movie about war. Germany, May, 1945. The German staff is run in soldat-chukcha:
-However, by whom Hitler here?
- is not present it. It went to a tudra traps to check.

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Chukchi filched a camel, brought to the tundra, began to think who and that with it to do such. It is clear, did not think up, went to the shaman. The shaman sits - smokes a pipe. Told it supposedly such brown, humpbacked... Shaman:
- The Reindeer lichen was given?
- Gave - not est.
-Means, not a deer, it is impossible to cut... And fish was given?
- Gave - not est.
-He a seal, however, cannot shoot... Itself I will go I will look. Pokryakhtel, got up, leaves on ulitsu:
- The Pancake, this CAMEL! It should be smoked!

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Chukchi too think out about Russians anekdoty.
beret the Chukchi with themselves on hunting of the Russian geologist and asks:
-quickly ski?
- the Candidate for the Master of Sports, of course bystro.
-is good, and shoot straight?
-C of fifty steps to a 3-kopeck coin popadayu.
-is good. Tell, and you in general the clever?
- Well, professor, after all.
B the general the Chukchi with himself took the geologist. They left for thirty kilometers,
vidyat a polar bear. The Chukchi throws up a carbine and shoots to a bear in lapu.
medved in rage rushes on hunters, and they start running away ot
nego. Having run kilometers ten, to the geologist the thought comes: "And what I,
sobstvenno, run away? I have a carbine!". It stops,
strelyaet to a bear in the head and kills him. Approaches it chukcha:
-Yes, you shoot well, but the fool, however! You dvadtsat
kilometers on yourself will drag it now?

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The Chukchsky national theater put the performance "Caesar and Brut" in three otdeleniyakh.
deystviye the first. The big Chukchi steps on the stage, beats the breast: "I am Caesar!" Zanaves.
deystviye the second. Step on the stage the big Chukchi, the Chukchi is less. Big: "I am Caesar!" It is less: "I - Brut!" Zanaves.
deystviye the third. Step on the stage the big Chukchi, the Chukchi is less and the little Chukchi. Big: "I am Caesar!" It is less: "I - Brut!" Small: "I - Brut!" Big: "And you - Brut?" Curtain.

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The Chukchi was expelled from a peep-show that he sings about that sees!

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The Chukchi was put, and he sits and for days on end sings. sprashivayut:
-You about what everything sing it?
- However, what I see, poyu.
okhrane bothered, turned off the light, and it again poyet.
- And now you that you see?
- However, darkness I see.

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The Chukchi was warned that the Moscow taxi drivers - zhuliki.
priyekhal the Chukchi to Moscow, was passed by a taxi. To it the driver speaks:
-From you three - twenty pyat.
chukcha dumayet:
- The Chukchi not the fool, not obmanesh.
i begins the Chukchi otschityvat:
-Time - twenty five, two - twenty five, three - twenty five.

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The Chukchi was called in tank troops and put in the fourth tank.
komandir komanduyet:
- The First! Went!
-Second! Went!
-Third! Went!
-Fourth! … The fourth!?!?? The fourth!?!??
TANK costs, the answer is not present. The commander goes to the tank, opens the hatch and sees, the Chukchi sits and holds in hand of tankistskiya shlem.
-Ts-s-s! More silently, the commander … the cap talks!

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The Chukchi was asked: ''There live people underground? ''
ON answered - ''Yes'' to .
'' Why you so think? ''Well after all a radish someone paints
''."

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The Chukchi sprashivayut:
-How many to you spoons of sugar to put?
-Eight, but only do not stir, and that will be very sweet!

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The Chukchi is asked on sude:
-Here why you kill a deer?
- As, meat is necessary! Here why you kill with
-a bear?
- As, a skin is necessary! Well why you killed geologists with
-!?
- As, salt, a match is necessary!

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The Chukchi sprashivayut:
-it is good to live in the tundra?
- is good. - killed a bear - meat is, a fox killed - the cap is, the geologist killed - matches are.

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The Chukchi sprashivayut:
- The Chukchi, you will be the switchman?
chukcha otvechayet:
-Nea!
-A chief of moving? Da's
-!

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The Chukchi was asked that gave to the Chukchi people Soviet vlast.
-Much, however, gave Earlier the Chukchi had two feelings: feeling of hunger and cold sense. Now at the Chukchi is the whole three feelings: feeling of hunger, cold sense and feeling of deep moral satisfaction

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The Chukchi sprosili:
- There Live people underground?
- Yes.
- Why you so think? Well after all a radish someone paints
-.

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Examination in Chukchi shkole.
-Vasya, what blackened such?
- Black, than we pishem.
- And what such inkwell?
- It where ink nalivayut.
- The Good fellow, one class you will go forward.

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South Pole. The Chukchi and geolog.
- The Geologist sits, narrations, a zensin absolutely white happens?
- Happens!
-A absolutely black happens?
- Happens!
-A of a zensin on a half black, half white happens?
- Is not present, not byvayet.
-Means, it was the penguin...

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- Speak, at you at school installed the most modern equipment?
- Yes, is only one problem...
- What?
- Is very inconvenient to erase chalk from liquid crystal monitors.

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The astronomy is a science which teaches us as it is correct to use the Sun and planets.

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Budenny addresses school students with vospominaniyami.
-I Leave it on a white horse. I look on the left: your mother!
glyazhu to the right: your mother!!
DETI:
-In blya, memory!

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Buratino did not aspire in school because more than once heard that tam
postoyanno something violently knock into the head.

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The former Minister of Education Vladimir Filippov offered that vse
vypuskniki after the Unified State Examination (USE) went v
armiyu for a period of one year. The minister hopes that then in HIGHER EDUCATION INSTITUTIONS not budut
ochen results school reformy.
are noticeable (Vladimir Vladimirovich suspected)

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At the Georgian school - the lesson of Russian yazyka.
uchitelnitsa asks to sort sintaksicheski
predlozheniye ''Georgians go to wash in a bath' '.
gogiya: ''Georgians... Sushchestvitelnoye.
idut to wash... Predlog.
v I ban... Pronoun''

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In step with progressom:
s new academic year at Uryupinsk high school is not present klassnykh
dosok: on each school desk - the display. Only inconvenience: ne
vse pupils, leaving on change, erase a rag chalk from the screen.

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