Jokes about Shtirlitsa

Read funny Jokes about Shtirlitsa

<** Previous Topic          Next Topic **>

649  650  651  652  653  654  655  656  657  658  659  660

Stierlitz sang about MTC:
"do not think of seconds haughtily... "
B the reply to it of MTS entered a new tariff of "Stierlitz" - the first 17 seconds free of charge!

*****

Stierlitz per completely. Napropaly could not resist an impact of the Soviet scout.

*****

Stierlitz gave an urgent encryption to the center. In an hour to it zvonit
shellenberg:
-Stierlitz, stop to call in the encryptions M?ller a goat!
neudobno somehow. It after all too intercepts them.

*****

Stierlitz shifted a six-kilogram wallet in the last, whole pocket and thought: "It is time to glance to Cat, let will sew up pockets..."

*****

Stierlitz crossed the border nezametno.
ob it he learned from morning papers.

*****

Stierlitz pernut on the quiet. Tikhar choked.

*****

Stierlitz writes the letter to conference: "Hi, All!" .
mimo there passes M?ller, and Stierlitz hasty corrects: "Heil Hitler!"

*****

- Stierlitz, you have a plan? - asked Shellenberg.
-Of course, and even heroin will be, - Stierlitz answered with a smile.

*****

Stierlitz turned pale and for the first time in 35 years someone noticed it.

*****

Stierlitz stroked a cat. The cat began to squeal. "Strange", - Stierlitz thought and switched off the iron.

*****

Stierlitz approached Aleksandrplatts and not to draw attention, crossed her on-plastunski.

*****

Stierlitz approached the airport, and the door automatically otkrylas.
"Learned", - Stierlitz thought.

*****

Stierlitz approached Borman and shot from the gun at an emphasis. The emphasis fell and pressed down Borman.

*****

Stierlitz approached a secret address and saw on a door plakat:
"the Appearance is failed! "
- Yes, - thought Stierlitz, - an appearance really provalena.
ranshe was written simply: "Appearance".

*****

Stierlitz thought. It was pleasant to it. And he thought once again.

*****

Stierlitz drove up to Berlin. The city was shrouded in a smoke pozharov.
-Again the iron forgot to switch off, - with irritation Stierlitz thought.

*****

- Stierlitz, what it for a striped ribbon at you is attached to Mercedes? - asked Myuller.
shtirlits significantly kept silent... How it was possible to explain him, what the Victory Day soon?

*****

Stierlitz received the telegram from a house management saying: "Stierlitz if you do not pay for electricity, we will disconnect to you a handheld transceiver."

*****

Stierlitz received an encryption. Having read, he burned it then spat a floor and blew the nose in a curtain. In an encryption it was written: "The task is performed, it is possible to relax a little."

*****

Stierlitz - You use cologne "Red Moscow" - told Shelenberg.
tak and you smoke "Camel" Stierlitz parried.

*****

- Stierlitz, I understand everything, Moscow, temptations. But what so?!.

*****

Stierlitz understood that good luck dropped out. But it did not begin to bend down, that not uronit
dostoinstva.

*****

Stierlitz understood that everything is over. It is opened. Then he decided to go for broke and, having hung the head, came to office to Goering. Having entered to it an office, he from a threshold declared: "Mister Goering, I am the Soviet scout, the colonel of GRU Isaev, and I." Goering killed it, coming off the papers which are chaotically scattered on a table: "Stierlitz well the right that for jokes. If you about vouchers, you are for M?ller"

*****

Stierlitz was trapped. In "Prosaka" it waited for the coherent.

*****

Stierlitz got to a deep hole and by miracle of it got out. "Miracles do not happen", - Stierlitz thought and just in case climbed back.

*****

- Stierlitz, and you I will ask to remain, - M?ller told, getting from seyfa
butylku the Armenian cognac and a tile Soviet shokolada.
-Well at last was shown coherent, - Stierlitz thought, having seen the password.

*****

Stierlitz flogged nonsense. The nonsense desperately squealed.

*****

Stierlitz put the safe on the priest. Pastor Shlag grunted and went towards the Swiss border.

*****

Stierlitz knocked at a door. Nobody opened. Stierlitz knocked more strongly, but the answer was not. Stierlitz began to patter at a door hands and feet. The door did not open. Stierlitz ran up and struck at a door with the head. The door remained is locked. "Anybody is not present the house", - guessed the clear head Stierlitz.

*****

Stierlitz lost a handheld transceiver and he was beaten by a fever. The fever was the radio operator and without handheld transceiver to it it was heavy.

*****

Stierlitz felt a smell of burning. And it is valid, from round the corner there was Kasparov.

*****

Stierlitz mushroomed, but found nothing and was stuck with the person into snow.

*****

Stierlitz mushroomed in the wood and did not return. Having got lost, he could not remember how in German to shout: - Hey!

*****

Stierlitz mushroomed in the wood. Looked at the left - did not find. Looked on the right - did not find. "Not the season" - thought Stierlitz and sat down in a snowdrift.

*****

- Stierlitz, is the truth, what you were born in China?
-Pravda.
-A in Chinese you can? I
Can, - Stierlitz gracefully jumped up and sadanut a heel in lob.
"Precisely, - Aysman thought, rising from a floor - Chinese he owns".

*****

- Stierlitz, you whom prefer - blondes or brunettes? I prefer to
-Ya beer, - Stierlitz sadly told, again remembering that he is married.

*****

Stierlitz brought the pastor Shlaga to mountains illegally to cross the border. Looking as the pastor hardly goes on skis, Stierlitz thought: "Da- And! Hardly for it. It, probably, twenty did not stand years on skis". There was a July, 1944.

*****

- Stierlitz! You should explain, from where on my ankles prints of your fingers, - told Myuller.
-Remembered! - Stierlitz answered. - A few days ago I helped Holtoffu to transfer you drunk through the road.

*****

Stierlitz came for work with the German accuracy - being late exactly for 30 minutes.