Jokes about Vovochku

Read funny Jokes about Vovochku

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- Vovochka, call 5 African zhivotnykh.
-2 monkeys and 3 elephants!

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- Vovochka? call two mestoimeniya.
-Who, I?
-Good fellow, five.

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- Vovochka, call founders of Russian kommunizma.
-Marvanovna, I do not know precisely, but, in my opinion, it is Lenin, Pyanin
i Halyavin.

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Vovochka wrote on a board: "Masha - the silly woman". The teacher comes and speaks:
-tell Three times, what Masha - not the silly woman, and izvinis.
Vovochka:
-Masha - not the silly woman? Ma - and - asha - not du - hurrah?! Ma - and - and - and - sha not du- At-hurrah?!! Well, excuse- And-ite!!!

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- Vovochka! What did you write in the composition? "On Sunday there was a fine Saturday morning". How it can be?
-Well, Mar Ivanna, we celebrate day of October revolution in November.

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- Vovochka, draw pomidor.
-Not hochu.
-Why? You Will be frightened of
-!

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- Vovochka, well you in such inconvenient pose read?!
-"Kama Sutra"!

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- Vovochka, really does not feel sorry for you for your mother? Each your trick - eto
eshche on mine golove.
Vovochka skeptically watches one gray-haired hair on mat.
-to See, you were a feature still stronger, than I. Look, how many sedykh
volos

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Vovochka addresses to ottsu:
- The Father give ruble, I want to descend in a zoo Take to look on udava.
- At a magnifying glass, descend in a garden and look at a worm.

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Vovochka explains to the got excited father why he received dvoyku
po arifmetike:
- The Teacher asked, how many will be twice three. I told: six. And potom
on asked, how many will be three times two...
-A unless it not one horse-radish? Here and I so asked
-.

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- Vovochka, put on, we will bring you to the grandfather with babushkoy.
-Mother, I do not want to them ekhat.
-Vovochk, give quicker, and that we opazdyvayem.
-But there such boredom!
- The Sonny, be not capricious, now 8.00, and at 17.00 we you

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Vovochka is late in school, Vovochka flies in a class after a call, and emu
uchitelnitsa:
-, leave and enter again as your father home prikhodit.
nu nothing to do, Vovochka leaves, in some seconds - strashnyy
udar on a door, the door is opened, the Vovochka all disheveled i
oret:
-Well, boughs becomes hollow, did not wait!?

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– Vovochka why You Again were late?
-mother ruble poteryala.
- And You here at What?
-a I stood on it.

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- Vovochka!? You why were late?
-of the Pig hung up on derevo.
-What for?
-Mother told that titmouses love fresh fat.

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Vovochka was late for a lesson and entered a class, without having knocked. The teacher speaks:
-Go beyond a door and enter as polozheno.
- And I do not know how polozheno.
-Well, enter how your father vkhodit.
Vovochka leaves, what there are forces kicks a door and krichit:
-Aga, freeloaders, did not wait?

*****

Vovochka was late for a lesson. Enters a class, the teacher asks it: - Vovochka you why was late?
-Ya potato Zharil.
-well zakhodi.
cherez enters 5 minutes a class the little girl - hair everything are disheveled, a button on a blouse rasstegnuta.
uchitelnitsa:
-Kartoshkina, and you where were?

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- Vovochka why you were late for lessons?
-Ya gathered for fishing, but the father did not let menya.
-Very well! I am glad that you have such clever father. He, of course, explained to you why it is impossible to pass school?
-Is not present, it

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Vovochka was late in school. Comes into a class and is silent. Uchitelnitsa:
-Vovochka, leave and come as yours otets.
Vovochka leaves and comes leaves in a huff and speaks:
-Well s@k, did not wait!

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Vovochka stops on the street, having pulled a sleeve, zhenshchinu:
- The Aunt, the aunt, and how old are you?
Ta (indignantly):
- When to me was as much years, how many to you, I on the street did not ask similar questions to strangers!
Vovochka is wrapped to going behind muzhchine:
-I said to you that this old woman already for thirty!

*****

Vovochka at a stop of the bus waits. Two women near nim
razgovarivayut. One asks another which in polozhenii:
-for Whom waits, the boy or the girl?
-Yes is better devochku.
ryadom there is a fat man. Vovochka approaches and asks:
- The Uncle for whom you wait? You Will give rise to
-Avtobus.
-, you will allow to drive?

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- Vovochka, open rather a mouth and tell a-a-a that this angry and opposite doctor could pull out at last the finger from your teeth

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Vovochka was guilty of school. The director summoned him, gave paints a bucket and govopit:
-Here, Vovochka, for it you will have to paint all windows on the third etazhe.
Vovochka left. Ivan Petrovich comes back through chas:
-, and to paint frames?

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Vovochka:
- The Father, tell and how catch mentally ill people?
-by means of powder, beautiful dresses and lovely smiles, the sonny.

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Vovochka:
- The Father and why you have on the head a lot of empty seat?

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Vovochk with the father was gone together to the sea. So far Vovochka bathed, papa
zanimalsya love. Vovochka comes back and indifferently plays near nimi.
papa terribly was confused and started justifying that he simply pumps up the aunt,
chtoby it not utonula.
-Yes are known by me... Last year mother was pumped up too by different uncles. A
kogda at one of them the pump broke, it had to blow it...

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Vovochka with the father look televizor.
-Fathers, and from where in a push bacteria which Domestos destroys undertake?
- They undertake from Actimel, the sonny, eats his already second week our mother.

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- Vovochka, do not drink hot tea!
-Why?
- The Bladder will burst - feet will burn!

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Vovochka at the first lesson smoked "Malboro", on the second drank whisky,
NU and on the third оте#$л the teacher. After everything etogo
uchitelnitsa goes to Vovochki's parents...
-your son at the first lesson smoked "Malboro"!
OTETS gives to Vovka podzatylnik.
(In) - FOR WHAT!!!!?????
(O) - What х$ % you smoke my "Malboro", when your "Java"
lezhit in a corridor!!!
(U) - At the second lesson it drank whisky!
OTETS gives to the son opleukhu.
(In) - FOR WHAT???!!
(O) - What х#$ you drink my whisky, when your "Capital"
stoit in the refrigerator!
(U) - And at the third lesson it оте#$%л me!
OTETS gets a belt....
(B) - the FATHER!!!! FOR WHAT?????????!!!
(O) - As man, so together, and as the woman so ONE!???

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Vovochka in the first class. Whether Maria Ivanovna asks Vovochku:
-Umeesh you to consider?
Yes, - Vovochka.
-A well answers show, - tells after that Maria Ivanovna.
-1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, - Vovochka considers. Maria Ivanovna stops and speaks:
-Molodets, and further?
-9,10, king, jack, lady, ace.

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Vovochka the first time got on a cemetery. He with interest reads nadpisi
na monuments and, at last, with astonishment asks:
- And where bad people are buried?

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Vovochka the first time went to school. All family looks forward ego
vozvrashcheniya. At last, it prikhodit:
-Brekhuna all of you! The stork brought me, in cabbage me found... To tell,
otkuda I was born?! Here, and tomorrow still I learn how I got there!

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Vovochka writes the composition on the subject "Winter". "Winter. The small river froze. Na
ldu wolves strike". The teacher vozmushchenno:
-Vovochka, faugh, as it is inconvenient!
-Of course, inconveniently! Paws part.

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Vovochka cries the man comes asks ; the boy why plakayesh? Vovochka: I was expelled from school. The teacher asked riddles: Without hands without feet in the woman climbs. And I ovetit the disabled person of the Great Patriotic War, and the correct answer: yoke

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Vovochka runs up to the chock-full bus and as zakrichit:
-Escape, to the bus a bomb attached!!!
Bce passengers rushed to the loose. Vovochka came into the bus and krichit:
- The Chief, went, and that I in school will be late!

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Vovochka ran up to a huge dog and began to iron his magnificent tail. Mother in a fright krichit:
-That you do? He will bite you!
-Is not present, mother, since this end they do not bite.

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Spying Vovochk upon parents in a keyhole dumayet:
"Yes, and these people forbid me to pick a nose."

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Vovochka spots how mother with the father are engaged lyubovyyu.
vdrug slyshit:
-Darling you whom want: "Boy or girl? "
-Well, now - the girl...
cherez the father leaves some minutes from spalni.
Vovochka takes off trousers and the Father substitutes popu:
-, and I want a saber, felt-tip pens and the bicycle!

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Vovochka approaches to mame:
-Mother, we write the composition, "As I was born" is called. As I was born? To cabbage we you found
-B, - smiles mama.
Vovochka writes in the composition: "My parents bred in the vegetative way, without having learned pleasure of sex..."

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Vovochka approaches mother and asks:
-Mother why you are by the window when I sing?
MAT:
-That people did not think that I beat you