Jokes about politicians

Read funny Jokes about Yanukovych

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- Monya, you know, across "Ukraine" "Yanukovych - the President of 15 Million" watched transmission yesterday...
- Oh, Izya, them you will not understand there, they as Moldavians on the Supply. That is told: "15 million", - 21...

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- Monya, you know a difference between trouble and accident?
- of Sho for a question, of course! Can formulate
-A? To
-Well here, present, the aunt Sofa ached. Trouble?
-Trouble...
- But after all not accident?
- Not... To
-A here, pr

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- Man, stop! You che? Did not understand?! Stand bl %%%!
Tpoe efficiently block pass between domami.
-to Light is?
-N - N - no...
- Not sets! Light. - someone stretches a cigarette and clicks a lighter. Plyamya for a second snatches out from da

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On a question, whether it received congratulations from the president of Russia of Vladimira
putina, Victor Yanukovych smiled and told: "Everything has to be horosho.
menya still nobody congratulated".

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At an election of the president of Ukraine twice sitting leader of opposition Yanukovych received 1,5 times more votes, than a little sitting prime minister Tymoshenko, and in 7 times more of voices, than the president Yushchenko never sitting. Thereby the Ukrainian voters let know, in their opinion, the small vacation would do Yulia Vladimirovna only good. And it is simply necessary for Victor Andreevich!

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Elections in Ukraine of 2004 were won by Yanukovych. 2005. Kiev. Restoran.
ofitsiant specifies zakaz:
-what beer prefer? Give
KLIYENT:
-, perhaps, Gesser or Beks is possible...
ofitsiant, having interrupted ego:
-forgive, but you not correctly understood me, I meant the Sarmatian light or the Sarmatian dark, other beer at us does not happen.

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The kompomisny solution of opposition of presidents is found!!! The next five years to proclaim three presidents in Ukraine: Yanukovych - the president of the South and East, Yushchenko - the president of the West and the Center, Kuchma - the president Pinchuka and Medvedchuka. Within five years Yanukovych and Yushchenko fight for the best life of the part of Ukraine. The winner becomes a President Pinchuka and Medvedchuka.

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The National Bank will let out a commemorative medal in honor of the president Yanukovych. Considering that Victor Fedorovich is the great admirer of literature, on a medal will be beaten out: "Yanukovych - our everything, and all the rest - Yanukovych."

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The new tysyachegrivnovy note will be called "arbuzovka", in honor of the chairman of Natsbanka.
v of communication with a further pokrashchennyam, "tigipovka", 5 thousand - "azarovka", 10 thousand - "boor" is planned to issue banknotes the face values of 2 thousand. On money portraits of corresponding politicians will be represented: Tigipka, Azarova.
10-tysyachnuyu the note will decorate V. F. Yanukovych's portrait against Mezhigorya.

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News of the 5th kanala:
"in order to avoid the next chaos on polling precincts in Donetsk and Lugansk areas, TsVK made changes to the schedule of elections: those who will vote for Yushchenko have to come to polling precincts on Sunday, those who for Yanukovych - on Monday..."

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News of the Inter channel about Viktor Yushchenko's victory in the second round of presidential elections: "By results of vote the prime minister Victor Yanukovych took the second place, Yushchenko - penultimate".

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One my acquaintance printed out the photo and decided to carry to show to the acquaintances home. An essence fotografii:
dva the blue have sex, passive put Yanukovych's head, active - Putina.
vse look, smile, but one more person approaches here, looks at a photo and issues such phrase: "SO IT CAN be FORGED! "
Bcex simply tore.

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One man to another: "I spoke to you that it is Yanukovych's wife, and you to me: "Verka Serdyuchka, Verk Serdyuchk!"

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- What did Yanukovych respond to the requirement of women's organizations to release his wife from under house arrest? - Not he answered, and the very first lady. She told: "The husband sat and to it ordered!"

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Answering a question of journalists that he thinks of gas crisis between Ukraine and Russia, Victor Yanukovych in particular said:
-We hope that it is much more healthy and strong people in the Kremlin, than those goats who to us constantly prevent to live!

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- From where there were these ridiculous hearings, what allegedly Yanukovych hit Anna Hermann for criticism of his pearls about the poet Chekhov?
- As Anna Hermann assures, Victor Fedorovich simply shared with it the reading of the Chekhovian prozovy p

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Semi-official organ. Yanukovych otprav was eaten to Greece. A purpose of visit - to take all the best from the Greek default for ours.

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Pavel Globa declared that presidential elections in Ukraine will win blondinka.
advokaty Victor Yanukovych already filed a lawsuit against Globu, having seen in a prophecy a hint on mental capacities of the leader.

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Pavlovsky explains to Yanukovych pre-election strategiyu:
-Well, here, look, Victor Fedorovich who goes to elections?
- Yes, grandmas generally … is correct
-! Grandmas solve everything!.

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Pakhan looked round the audience and told: "Brothers! Zapadlo is felt by me! Among us the musorenok shameful was got! "
ODIN from attendees (shy): "Well why you so, you so, companion Yanukovych? I though the Minister of Internal Affairs, but the boy correct, do not break the law, on concepts I live, I am responsible for a market!"

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- Petro, sho zn tvorytsya. A half of a krayina votes for one, a half - for another, candidates with each other rugayutsya.
- And I know, a yak of an objednata of Ukrainu.
-Jac? Do not find fault with
-A Yanukovych odruzhytsya on Tymoshenko.

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There went Yanukovych to the village propaganda to carry out, well at it sprashivayut:
- And when agricultural starts rising?
yanukovich calls by the mobile phone, but communication is not present. Propaganda comes to an end and razgnevannyy
yanukovich goes to station mobile svyazi:
-Che for gavno, I by the mobile phone could not call!
- Well, probably you were not in a zone?
- Who was not in a zone?! I was not in a zone?!

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Yanukovych gold to roar caught. Also the small fish speaks: release me, I will execute any three of your desires. Well Yanukovych thinks that from you to take from me and so everything is, and he released the Goldfish. The goldfish floated, but wanted to thank and execute nevertheless it 3 zhelaniya.
edet Yanukovych for work sees Ferrari and thinks and at me such still is not present, here to me such. The moment - and Vitya Yanukovych already drives this Ferrri. The poster with Klavdiya Schiffer goes and sees, and its would think here...
I here already naked Klava sits on the next sitting. Yanukovych thinks: "Eh, me years to throw off twenty!" - Bach!. - Prison, a skilly, the sky in a section.

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Political joke from Ukrainy.
idet the grandma from a market, drags full bags. Passing by Yanukovych's big-bord, stops and I scratch zatylok:
- And sho kupyta of a zabul? A-a-a, yaytsya!!!

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Yanukovych's dedication in presidents, give salute. Gritsenko zvonit
kuzmuku also asks: "What occurs? Why shoot?" - "Yanukovich
prishel on inauguration". - "And what, again from the first did not get?"

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After elections Victor Yanukovych indifferently calls Yulia Tymoshenko in Kabmin:
-How are you, Yulia Vladimirovovna, than are engaged?
- Here was strongly disturbed by plans for a sowing campaign! And you than are engaged at a leisure - probably verses of Chekhov re-read?
- Is not present, I tighten grammar together with Azarov. We cannot deal with participles "about" and in any way "at". Perhaps you will prompt to us - You mastered money for a sowing campaign or appropriated?

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After an election of the president of Ukraine Yanukovych plans to change the anthem of the country. The group of poets translates "Murka" into Ukrainian.

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After Yanukovych's remark at meeting of security officers "And why nobody writes down?", among officials began norm to carry instead of laptops on meetings of the handle and a notebook.

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After election as the President of Ukraine Victor Yanukovych as the decision decided to rename the name of the country. New name "URKAINA".

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After the next compulsory press conference with Victor Yanukovych on a subject "Sat or did not sit?", the journalist Kurochkin, after a three-hour audience replaced the surname with Cockerels.

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After attempt at Yanukovych in the criminal code of Ukraine there was article for carrying, storage and application of eggs.

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After Yanukovych becomes the president of Ukraine, at school there will be two new subjects: Fen and Ponyatiya.

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- After the dismissal of the head of the Ministry of Health Yanukovych warned the Minister of Finance, that is brought upon him the ax.

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Why Yanukovych fell - to that shcho sm_liviy.
pochem in hospital hid - to that shcho more strongly dukhom.
pochemu accused of all Yushchenko - to that shcho spravedliviy.
pochemu to opening of Monastery did not go - to that shcho posl_dovniya.

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Yanukovych before elections to the fortuneteller went, asks - who will become the president of Ukraine. She answers - the prime minister of Ukraine. Yanukovych was delighted and suddenly Yushchenko wins. Well, it went to the fortuneteller to understand, and that otvechayet:
-Not you one prime minister were.

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We offer wholesale and retail books of the following avtorov:
Complete works. Yanukovych V. F. under edition of Akhmetova.
t.1 History and types head uborov.
t.2 Iskustvo of street fight in the conditions of small number protivnika.
t.3 Violence as expression of free love (So far did not go on sale)
t.4 How to construct own business (on the example of ATP)
t.5 How to get friends and to have impact on people in the conditions of limited degree svobody.
t.6 About advantage of astronauts in ours zhizni.
t.7 the Dictionary feni.
t.8 the Dictionary of Ukrainian-Russian.
(rarity) t.9 Art to create (on the example of the Californian Academy)
t.10 How to learn to forget and to teach to forget okruzhayushchikh.
t.11 the New view: chicken as first sprout of terrorism.

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Businessmen gathered on Bank and address to Yanukovych: - Sir Prezident, the new Tax code will kill business in Ukraine! - Here when will kill then come.

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The presidential plane makes landing at the airport of one of the regional centers of Ukraine. The stewardess looks in a window of the plane and it is joyful, with the fawning smile, soobshchayet:
-Victor Fyodorovich! You are met by young Ukrainian girls in national suits with wreaths and tapes. And they hold bread and salt in hand … Bread, salt it is good
- if only not eggs, - Yanukovych thoughtfully answers, - and here the tape on wreaths will not be corrected by me any more …

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PRESS CONFERENCE of the PRIME MINISTER of UKRAINE V.F.YANUKOVICHA:
KORRESPONDENT:
-of V. F., - tell please, whether there will be you polzovatsya
raskladushkoy Yu. Tymoshenko left in your office?
yanukovich:
-Than, than? No, I do not solve business of the country through a bed.