Jokes about Vovochku

Read funny Jokes about Vovochku

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Vovochka whom you will be when you grow up?
-Soldatom.
-But after all can kill you on fronte.
-Who? Then I will be better than
-Nepriyatel.
- The enemy.

*****

- Vovochka whom you dream to become when you graduate from school?
-МиллиардËром, Maryivanovna.
-You have in view of - the billionaire?
-Is not present, миллиардËром: I dream to spizdit one billion and to give otsyuda
dyoru.

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- Vovochka with whom your father works?
-It solist.
- And where he sings? He does not sing
-. He salts cabbage, cucumbers and tomatoes.

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- Vovochka with whom your father works?
-It solist.
- And where he sings? He does not sing
-. He salts cabbage, cucumbers and tomatoes.

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- Vovochka with whom your father works?
-Transformatorom.
-It as?
-380 receives, 220 gives, on the rest hoots...

*****

Vovochka in a class writes the composition on a subject "With whom to be? "Maria Ivanovna watches
uchitelnitsa in it tetrad:
-Vova, what for nonsense you write? You is valid hochesh
stat the sexopathologist? Yes, Marya of Ivanovna.
-Yes you though know
-, what is it?
-Of course! Here, for example, see, two girls on ulitse
razgovarivayut? Both eat an eskimo, but one sucks it, another licks
A. How you think which of them is married?
marya Ivanovna krasneet:
-Well... I dymat that that which sucks...
-Is not present, Marya Ivanovna, that, at which wedding koltso
na a finger. And you need to address to the sexopathologist urgently.

*****

Vovochka shouts mame:
-Throw off five rubles on ice cream! They rassypitsya by
-! You a trifle in one thousand wrap
-A!

*****

Vovochka shouts under windows doma:
-Natashka! Natashka! mama:
-It is engaged in Natashin's
vyglyadyvayet, and why it to you? To
-It is necessary to me as the woman!
-of Idi from here also do not stick to my daughter!
-Yes a ball in a female toilet flew... It is necessary to take out...

*****

Vovochka and Lenochka played the doctor then razgnevannaya
mama Lenochki dragged Vovochka for an ear to it roditelyam.
-That you so worry? - the father Vovochki began to calm. -
seksualnoye curiosity at this age estestvenno.
-Better he would bang it, - mummy roared. - Your little villain cut out appendicitis at my daughter

*****

Vovochka from Lenochkaya walk on the Vovochka:
-of Lenochk, you want some ice cream?
-Hochu.
-Two on fifteen!
IDUT is farther. Vovochk again asks:
-Lenochka, you want more some ice cream? I Want
-! - Lenochka.
-Two on fifteen answers! Still you want
SJELI.
-? - Vovochka.
-is interested Is not present!
-One for twenty eight!

*****

Vovochk from Lenochkaya is asked at babushki:
- The Grandmother, and from where children undertake? Their
-A, the child, the stork prinosit.
Vovochka tells Lenk's Lenochke:
-, let's it explain, and that after all so the silly woman and will die.

*****

Vovochka:
-I love natural devushek.
-It as? To
-Well, you approach it and you speak: "The girl, and you could not spend with me this night?", and it: "Naturally!"

*****

In magazine:
-you have Vovochka a parrot who knows English?
-Is not present, but at us is dyatel.
- And than it owns?
-Morse alphabet.

*****

Vovochka - small still, in kindergarten, in the morning, as always, to mother in a bed - nyr! asks:
-Mothers, and that father at night... it ukakatsya?! You it took
-C of that, the sonny?!
-Yes is simple I woke up at night, and heard, how you it sprashivala:
-Well?! And long I г#вно have to rumple it?

*****

Vovochka, still small, washes with mother in a bath. Having seen a curly triangle, asks:
- And it that?
-A it, whether you know, a bast, - having been confused, answers mama.
-Well, at the father it is better, - Vovochka thriftily responds. - At the father with the handle.

*****

Vovochka, the boy lyubolytny, lies with mother on a beach, twists the head,
MAMA and why here uncles in swimming trunks at whom have more at whom pomenshe.
mama turning over from a stomach on spinu:
-Leave alone, the fidget, it as in life who is richer who pobednee.
Vovochka:
-Mothers, mothers, you look, the uncle looks at you and bogateet.

*****

Vovochka: - Mothers and why I am higher than all in a class?
MAMA: - You are a teacher!

*****

Vovochka:
-Mothers, and it is possible I will go I will pee? You lessons made
MAMA:
-A?

*****

Vovochka:
-Mother, what for nonsense you speak to me?! Why me the stork brought it?!
ChTO - at daddy does not rise any more?!

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Vovochka:
-Mother, go to an office, I dropped big stremyanku.
-Well, the father to you will set when uznayet.
- The Father already knows, it hangs on a chandelier.

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Vovochka:
-Mother, go to an office, I dropped big stremyanku.
-Well, the father to you will set when uznayet.
- The Father already knows, it hangs on a chandelier.

*****

Vovochka:
-Mother, you remember, you said, what if I will receive the four, I will walk the whole day? I Remember
-! And what?
-Means, today I will walk in the afternoon!.

*****

Vovochka:
-Mother, today the principal asked, whether there are at me brothers and sisters, and ya
said, what I am an only child in semye.
- And what she answered? She told
-: "Thank God!"

*****

- Vovochka! Mother told, what you called Mar Stepanovnu the silly woman today?
-DDA.
- The Sonny, can be you and is right - but the grandmother should not tell it.

*****

Vovochka mame:
-Mother, and children from where undertake? I explained
-to you, children brings aist
-I understood, and a stork that that who #бет?

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Vovochka - mame:
-Mother, and "Snickers" is the same as "Tampax", only with cream?

*****

Vovochka with mother walk on zooparku.
-Mother, buy me the monkey! Than we will feed it with
-A?
-A anything! It is right there written: "It is forbidden to feed animals strictly!"

*****

Vovochka: - Mar Vann, and who such Vugluskr?
MAR Vann: - Who, who?
B: - Well, Vugluskr...
MB: - Vovochka, from where you took it!?!
B: - Yes here, in the book on reading...
MB: - Vovochka, and well read everything predlozheniye.
v: - "In a corner the mouse scrapes". Well, what it with a mouse does - clearly but who is he such, Vugluskr?

*****

Vovochka:
-Mar Ivanna, and it is possible to ask for you chalk? What for? of
-of the Games-master to lead round
-.

*****

Vovochka:
-Mar Ivanna, and that it you today without brassiere?
-is interesting how you guessed, I after all even did not take off a coat yet?
-A of a wrinkle on the face at you were gone!

*****

Vovochka:
MAR Ivanna, what such sex?
MAR Ivanna: I now will in detail explain everything to you...
Vovochka: I liked your explanation, will go to little girls I will explain!

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Vovochka - mather:
-Mother, I the brother hochu.
-it is good, will be to you bratik.
Vovochka calls ottsu:
-Hallo, fathers, I agreed. There will be at you a sex tonight. From you a drum and pencils.

*****

Vovochka uses foul language. Mother in tears speaks ottsu:
-Tell it that perestal.
otets:
-Vovochka if you use foul language, your teeth will not grow!
Vovochka of a tych a finger in only dairy zub:
- And it that, h@y on yours?

*****

Vovochka: "Masha not of бл$дь?
Ma - and - and - asha not бл$дь?
M - and - and - and - asha not бл$ - $ - $ - $ - $дь?
NU- At- At- At... Well izvini-i-i-i..."

*****

Vovochka - Mashenke:
-You as was born?
-Me a stork prinyos.
-Girls cannot a stork prinosit.
-Why? If the stork it will drop
- And it will fall flatwise that a breast flat budet.
vot me precisely the stork brought!
-of Boys cannot a stork prinosit.
-Why? If the stork it will drop
- And he will fall flatwise that the member will break.

*****

Vovochka from Mashenkaya there were friends,
chasto were played by them in daughters-mather:
kukol swung, cooked porridge...
VOVA did not sustain - vyebat Masha.

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Vovochka washes with mother in a bath and notices at it curly treugolnik.
-That this such, mummy?
-It mochalka.
-Well, at the father is better, that with the handle.

*****

- Vovochka, you probably overtired, when to examination on literature
gotovilsya?!
-C of that it? Well here you write
-as if Pushkin challenged to a duel Lermontov from-za
tatyany Larina, and the second they had Dantes? And Gerasim drowned Annug

*****

Vovochka puts on rubber boots. Mother to it speaks:
-Vovochka, on the street it is dry, dirt and pools net.
- And I will find, - he cheerfully answers.