Jokes about Vovochku

Read funny Jokes about Vovochku

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Vovochka comes home, dejected such. His father asks:
- The Sonny, what with you, something happened?
-in school call You, fathers. I in biology poluchil.
- And what you answered steam?
-Yes here, the teacher showed buttocks of a birdie and me to a board called,
chtoby I answered that it for a birdie, I also did not answer!!!
shkola. The door in a teacher's room opens. The naked ass is shown, i
slyshitsya golos:
-Guess whose is the father came?

*****

Vovochka comes home from school, A truth that at me says mame:
-a face on a zh@pa similar, and so all school tells that!? Mother otvechayet:
-Is not present that you, you the most beautiful! Vova decided to ask at the grandmother, that too most, as well as mother answered, and the father too most. Vova decided to go to the grandfather, - the grandfather was at war nagradyimet, will not tell lies, all truth will tell, and the grandfather cleans a well meanwhile! Vovochka approaches a well and krichit:
-Dedushka-a-a-a! The grandfather scaredly otvechayet:
-not to shit A Here, here not to shit!

*****

Vovochka comes home from school sad, his father asks:
(Father) - That happened? - All horosho.
(Father) - Give
(Vovochk) tell that occurred!
(Vovochk) - Well... Generally we had a manual training, we with children bore glue and incidentally it poured...
(Father) - Well and what? To me to come for you to school now to clean?
(Vovochk) - Well, it is not it, the young teacher slipped and prikleilas.
(Father) - You it though tore off?
(Vovochk) - Yes, someone and on three times.

*****

Vovochka comes home and tells to the father that that cause in school. The father, by itself, is interested, pochemu.
-Yes you understand, - Vovochka speaks, - we in a corridor poured glue, and Mar Ivanna fell and was pasted... So you it did not tear off
-? We also tore off
-. I - two times.

*****

Vovochka comes home from school and speaks roditelyam:
-I do not know whether to trust our teacher of mathematics. Yesterday he told that 6+4=10, and today that 7+3 too is equal to ten.

*****

Vovochka comes to mother and asks:
- And how I appeared? We you with the father found
-in cabbage - answers ta.
- And how the brother appeared?
-We it in carrot nashli.
- And how the little sister?
-We it in potato nashli.
-You that, the father on all kitchen garden dragged?

*****

Vovochka comes to the father and speaks:
- The Father as far as the toothpaste tube is enough? I do not know
-, and what? Now know
-, on all hall and a half kukhn

*****

Vovochka comes to a lesson with a black eye, his teacher and asks:
-Chto happened Vovochka?
Understand, Marya Ivanovna, I sleep with the brother, and the brother slept with the girl. Here we laid down, and he also speaks: "You sleep?" I answer: "Yes", it to me and vrezal.
na Vovochka comes the next day to school already to two fingalami.
-Chto happened this time, Vovochka?
Understand I sleep with the brother, and he with the girl. At night he speaks: "You sleep?" I answer: "No". Well it to me and vrezal.
na Vovochka comes the next day all beaten and bandaged and on the same question otvechayet:
-Ponimayete I sleep with the brother, and it with the girl, here he also asks: "You sleep?" I am silent. It again: "You sleep?" I am silent. Then he speaks to the girl: "Move apart, went". And I ask: "And where it you at this time of night?"

*****

Vovochka comes to school with the thick book under the arm and discontentedly Marivanna speaks uchitelnitse:
-! Here you constantly repeat to me that it is necessary to read and enrich the lexicon more. And I here just read the whole dictionary from cover to cover and not
obnaruzhil there the uniform word who would not know! That for the dictionary you read
-A, Vovochk? Perhaps, any small and short?
-Offend, Marivanna. Publishing house of Academy of Sciences, "The big dictionary of the Russian mat"!

*****

Vovochka comes to school with three cones on lbu.
uchitelnitsa asks: - Vovochka, what happened to you?
ON tells: - Yesterday we went to bed. The father asks: - Vovka, you sleep? I tell
Ya: - Net.
poluchil on lbu.
cherez half an hour the father asks click: - Vovka, you sleep? I tell
Ya: - Splyu.
ba-bakh on a forehead! The father asks
EShchE in half an hour: - Vovka, you sleep?
Ya I am silent. The father speaks to mother: - Went! I ask
A: - Where?

*****

Vovochka comes from school with the scared look and speaks:
-Mother, the father, I think, today you should not watch mine dnevnik.
mama grabs heart, the father for a belt, open the diary, and there -
pyaterka! In total in a faint. Vovochka, grustno:
-I was also afraid of This.

*****

Vovochka comes from school, his father asks:
-Why so late?
- The Good fellow, here Translated the old woman through ulitsu.
-to you for it a candy. Vovochka inheriting day comes with drugom.
-Fathers, we transferred from Vaskaya old women through ulitsu.
-Good fellows, here to you on candies. Next day Vovochka brings polklassa.
-Fathers, we with children porevodit the old woman through ulitsu.
- And why a lot of people?
- The Old woman resisted.

*****

Vovochka comes from school with the five in biology. The father sprosil:
-For what, Vovochka, the excellent gave? The Teacher asked
-, at whom the biggest eggs. I told, at strausa.
- At Strauss? And so why he wrote such sad music!

*****

Vovochka comes from school and it is joyful soobshchayet:
-Hotite, I will write the word from three letters to you?
MAT gives it a slap in the face, the grandmother a clip. Vovochka in tears. The father comes and asks:
-what is the matter?
Vovochka explains, what wanted to write the word "world" .
otets you give a slap in the face mather:
-A that meant? Give
Vovochka:
-I to the grandmother. Let does not think of it.

*****

Vovochka came to dedu:
- The Grandfather, and you were small?
-Was, vnuchek.
-Well and children laughed at your bald head, probably.

*****

Vovochka came home with a searchlight under glazom.
-That happened?
-K to us came to a class the new boy, the Estonian. It was asked to write on a board a surname and a name. He did not understand and wrote a name, then a surname. He was told that is necessary on the contrary. He again did not understand and wrote from right to left. All laughed. He again did not understand. I explained to him, and he understood...
- And what is his name?
-As, as... JUHAN SINEP!

*****

Vovochka came home from shkoly.
-Tebya caused today? - asked otets.
-Vyzyvali, - Vovochka.
- Well and how answers?
zavtra will call you.

*****

Vovochka came to school the very pale. His teacher asks:
-Vovochka, you got sick?
Vovochka to it otvechayet:
-Is not present, mother washed me yesterday.

*****

Vovochka came from shkoly:
-It appears, you deceived me when said that a stork menya
prines. Now I know, from where I appeared! And tomorrow still I learn, how I tuda
popal.

*****

Vovochka with friends suits on the street to solid muzhchine:
-to Dyad, let's light! I Will give
-if you tell magic slovo.
- And in a horn you want?!

*****

Vovochka passed day at school. The teacher went to it home,
chtoby to find out the reason. On its call nobody opened, it pushed a door i
obnaruzhila that that is not locked. Having entered inside she saw that in a bedroom papa
imeet mother. She shocked flies to other room and finds out that nekaya
devitsa does mint to the elder brother Vovochki. It jumps aside to a toilet i
zamechayet the average brother masturbating on a toilet bowl there. In sovershenno
rasstroyennykh feelings she runs in on kitchen and finds Vovochk's Vovochku.
-sitting na
gorshke there! That at you here for *** a stvo!? - exclaims ona.
-Here and I speak: *** stvo! An hour on a pot I sit - there is nobody bumagi
prinesti!.

*****

Vovochka asks mamu:
-Mother, buy me the monkey! Well, please!.
-of Vovochk, you that, went crazy? And than you are going to feed her?
-of Mothers, and you buy me the monkey from a zoo. There the plate hangs: "Monkeys are forbidden to be fed!".

*****

Vovochka jumps on a sofa. Mother speaks:
- The Sonny, do not jump, and that the stomach will be bolshoy.
na the next day Vova meets the pregnant woman and asks:
-Well, got into a mess?

*****

- Vovochka and where your father works?
-B zoo! Da's
-?! And I thought that it in some trading company rabotayet.
-Not, is exact in a zoo. Itself heard, how it govoril:
"It not work, and some menagerie! "
-Well this expression such, speak so.

*****

Vovochka broke glass at the neighbor in a window. Mother it pugayet:
-So far the father will bring new glass - You should close a naked bum a hole in a window... Vovochka, through slezy:
-Mothers, and you will change me for a lunch?

*****

- Vovochka, unless "feet" is a verb?
-Of course, Marvanna!
-But why?!
-As why? Because answers a question "what to do?". What tut
neponyatnogo? What to do? - To do feet.

*****

Vovochka talks to the odnoklassnitsey:
-Svetka, it is possible to use you as the woman?
-Fool you, Vovochka!
-you are a silly woman, Svetka! Our ball was gone in a female toilet!

*****

Vovochka disassembled the father's field-glass. The father i
speaks:
-Vovochka comes from work, well why you disassembled the field-glass? After all I uzhe
neskolko time said to you that there anything, except lenses, net.
-A picture is worth a thousand words! - Vova answered.

*****

Vovochka, tell us about the schedule dnya.
-Well, I wake up, I get up, I put on, I wipe h%y a rag... I have breakfast, I take a portfolio, I open a door,
zakryvayu a door, I wipe h%y a rag...
uchus, I come from school, I wipe h%y a rag... I have dinner, I prepare lessons, I wipe h%y a rag...
IDU to walk, I come back, I wipe h%y a rag...
uzhinayu, I wipe h%y a rag, I go to bed...
-of Vovochk, you is sick with something? Why you so solved
-?
-Well, you constantly wipe h%y a rag...
-Is not present. Not that. It when at me the father the deputy became, at us constantly on a door write with chalk "h%y"...

*****

Vovochka was in a garden and dug in some pole when to it through a fence the neighbor glanced. Having become interested, than it the pink-checked little boy is occupied, he it is polite asks:
-That you do, Vovochka?
-Died my goldfish, - that sadly answered, without raising the head, - and I just buried ee.
-But it is too big pole for a goldfish, isn't that so? - notices sosed.
Vovochka slammed the last heap of the earth and only then otvetil:
-It because it in your bad cat!

*****

- Vovochka, you wrote the composition on the best telecast?
-Is not present, the father pomog.
- Then tell to the father that transfers not only look, but also carry.

*****

- Vovochka - the most disobedient pupil in a class, - zhaluyetsya
uchitelnitsa. - The most annoying that he never shirks.

*****

Vovochka shirked in the most malicious way school. This disgrace bothered his teacher, and she decided to visit parents and, at the same time, pitomtsa.
prikhodit to the address - there a mansion nemeryany, from gate to an entrance prostelena carpets. Knocks at the door... The door-keeper, polite to impropriety opens. Behind it marble ladders, pictures in podlinnikakh.
teacher, confused are looked through, is silent asks:
- And d-houses V-v-Vovochka?
shveytsar conducts it on the house to the Vovochkiny door. Stuchit:
-Voldemar! To you the lady!
-PI ** SEE! Gesture correcting for
kharakternym babochku:
-* LYa I will be - with!

*****

Vovochka made some mistakes in one offer, and the teacher gave it on the house a task as a correction of mistakes - to copy the offer of 50 times. Next day it, checking homework at Vovochka, Vovochka speaks emu:
-, you copied the offer of only 20 times instead of 50! Understand
-, Mar Ivanna, at me and with mathematics disagreement.

*****

Vovochka why you did not make lessons? - asks uchitelnitsa.
-Yes at our place constantly quarrel mother with ottsom.
-your Mother saw, and who your father? All of them time also find out This
-.

*****

- Vovochka, today the stork brought you the sister, - joyfully speaks otets
svoyemu to the four-year-old son - You would like to look at her?
-On the little sister is not present, but I would like to look at that stork.

*****

Vovochka sits on a shop at an entrance. The grandmother neigbour goes from shop, approaches and speaks:
-Vova, you why such sad? At school received the two or children offended?
-Yes not, simply the elevator not rabotayet.
- And why to you the elevator, you on the first floor live? If I will want to write
-A?

*****

Vovochka sits, has dinner. Sees a pie on a table, and asks mamu:
-Mothers, and this big piece of a pie, you for yourself left?
-Is not present. For tebya.
-Such tiny slice?

*****

Vovochka sits at a lesson and nothing pishet.
uchitelnitsa: Vovochka! You why do not write down?
Vovochka: (clicks the handle with a sliding core) Mar Ivanovna! Vot
nikak I will not understand: the handle of a feminine gender, a core man's and why children are not present?
uchitelnitsa: Vovochka, leave von.
Vovochka leaves a class, sits down in a corridor and continues shchelkat
ruchkoy. There passes direktor:
-Vovochka, you why not at a lesson?
-Me vygnali.
- And for what?
-Yes here asked a question: the handle of a feminine gender, a core man's, and pochemu
children is not present?
direktor takes the handle, long it studies, sorts, and at last oblegchenno
vosklitsayet:
-Yes after all here a spiral!