Jokes about Shtirlitsa

Read funny Jokes about Shtirlitsa

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Stierlitz was inclined over the card. Uncontrollably tore it home.

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- Stierlitz, how many will be twice two? - asked Myuller.
golos off-screen: "Stierlitz knew, how many will be twice two, but he could not answer this question as did not know that about it think in the center...

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Stierlitz crumpled a piece of paper and threw into a toilet bowl. The encryption got to the center.

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Stierlitz took off an undershirt. The undershirt trudged all night long.

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Stierlitz slept and had black- And-white dreams.

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- Stierlitz, you have a white back!
- It that, April Fools' joke, mister M?ller?
- Is not present, simply children with RTR badly painted you.

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Stierlitz stood under Himmler's balcony in the red embroidered kosovorotka and with an accordion in hands. Strumming "Kamarinsky", it danced in a squating position and nasvistyval.
golos Kopelyana for kadrom:
-Yes, Stierlitz was never so close to a failure, as this evening...

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Stierlitz stood on the lookout. Suddenly the watchman became straight.

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Stierlitz held the ground. This torture to it was thought up by M?ller.

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Stierlitz stood in a toilet and on a drop squeezed out from himself the slave.

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Stierlitz shot from two machine guns in turn. The turn considerably thinned.

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Stierlitz shot from two hands - with one "Kemel, with another "Malboro.

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Stierlitz put a fork in the socket, but to him tactfully hinted that from the socket eat with a spoon.

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Stierlitz put a hand in a pocket. "It is the end, and where the gun?" - rushed in his brain. The gun was in other pocket.

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- Stierlitz as you consider... How …, how …? In a column! - without reddening at all, the scout told.

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Stierlitz amused himself nadezhdoy
nadezhda amused itself Stierlitz.

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Stierlitz pushed a door. The door did not open. Stierlitz pushed more strongly. The door did not even stir. Stierlitz kicked. With the same success. Stierlitz ran up and rushed on a door all over. A door not poddavalas.
"Is closed", - Stierlitz guessed.

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Stierlitz pushed a door with a hand. Door not poddalas.
shtirlits podnaleg shoulder. A door not poddalas.
shtirlits ran up and from all scope pushed dver.
dver not poddalas.
"Is locked" - instantly guessed skilled razvedchik.
i only omniscient M?ller knew that the door opens in other party.....

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Stierlitz heated a potbelly stove. Next day in newspapers there was a note about brutal murder of the employee of Gestapo.

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Stierlitz heated an oven. In an hour the oven drowned.

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Stierlitz at the difficult vital moments could be content malym.
vot only small it was not pleasant.

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Stierlitz saw the bulked-up kidneys on trees. "Again these tricks of Gestapo", - Stierlitz thought.

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Stierlitz saw people in the Soviet military uniform, in maskhalata and with machine guns. "Scouts" - Stierlitz guessed.

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Stierlitz saw at a window of 38 irons and understood that the appearance is failed.

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Stierlitz saw the photo of the woman on the first page of the Metro station magazine, and under it an inscription of "Ms.-92" of .
"it is strange, - Stierlitz, - ninety two and as well remained thought".

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Stierlitz saw an avalanche and thought: "The poor pastor, he did not learn to ski".

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Stierlitz hit in races, but got off only with slight grazes and bruises.

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Stierlitz stole important documents from Borman and ran to photograph them in a toilet. Suddenly in a toilet bowl there is a head of Bormana:
-Stierlitz, to you not to leave. With me one thousand soldiers of Reykha.
-With you soldiers, and with me equipment, - Stierlitz told, pulling a rope.

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Stierlitz fell from the tenth floor and by miracle was hooked for a balcony. The miracle swelled and prevented to go.

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Stierlitz fell from the fourteenth floor. So widely he had not to think over yet.

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Stierlitz heard a sound of the coming nearer lead... Lead ran by, grunting.

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- Stierlitz, - M?ller wearily told, - You got out when we found your fingers on a suitcase of the Russian pianist. You got out when we found them on a tube of phone of government communication. But now to you not to get out! Why your certificate smells as

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- Stierlitz, you have a shiner under an eye!
- It not a shiner, is a photoshop...

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- Stierlitz, what color at you pants? - asked Myuller.
-As well as at all officers of the Soviet Army - blue - Stierlitz answered and about himself thought, but whether he said too much something.

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Stierlitz held the ground two hours. It was favourite torture of M?ller.

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- Stierlitz where you so well learned to shoot, - sprosil
myuller.
-V DOSSAAFE, - Stierlitz answered and thought: "But whether told ya
chegonibud the superfluous?"

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Stierlitz was the champion of Berlin in tennis therefore always went with a tennis racket in a hand. Still he was the champion of Africa in hockey, but from modesty to anybody about it did not speak.

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Stierlitz went on the coast Shprei and saw sitting with a rod man.
"As pecks?" - asked Shtirlits.
"Well", - "Fisher" answered chelovek.
, - Stierlitz guessed.

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Stierlitz went across Berlin which was bombed by Russians. Explosion at the left, then on the right, then behind was distributed. "3D surround", - Stierlitz thought.