Jokes about mother in law and son

Read funny Jokes about mother in law

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The mother-in-law and zyatek obedayut.
zyatek eats fast supets, and the mother-in-law navorachivat a sound Ukrainian borsch with dumplings, ribs, sour cream and other pleasures. Here, as ill-luck would have it, the mother-in-law chokes with the next piece myasa.
teshcha (to the son-in-law): Clap
-...
ZYAT (claps):
-of Bravo mother …

*****

The mother-in-law with the son-in-law dig up a kitchen garden under potato of hundred parts 15. And the mother-in-law in a helmet. By there is a neighbor and, addressing to the son-in-law, asks:
-San and why you have a mother-in-law in a helmet?
-A that I every time has to run to a fence that to clean a shovel!

*****

The mother-in-law with the son-in-law sit at dinner. Suddenly, the second mother chokes with a piece of meat...
- the Sonny, clap!.
-of Bravo, mother, bravo!

*****

The mother-in-law and the son-in-law have dinner. Suddenly tyoshcha:
-A-a-apchkhi!!!
- Good luck, mother! With
-Oh, do not make laugh, and that also I will choke!

*****

The mother-in-law - zyatyu:
-You already saw the person who rescued me?
- Yes, it already before me apologized...

*****

The mother-in-law zyatyu:
-you speak, I to you in burden... Yes who made me the mother-in-law, as not you!

*****

The mother-in-law zyatyu:
-Every evening you tell my grandson of the fairy tale. You could not explain,
pochemu all of them come to an end equally: "They got married and lived happily, potomu
chto the bride was an orphan?"

*****

The mother-in-law - zyatyu:
-Oh, I will die this summer, really I will die... Well watch
- - promised It!

*****

The mother-in-law - to the son-in-law: - I would give half-lives for this color TV. On the following utro
v to the room of the mother-in-law there were two color TVs.

*****

The mother-in-law zyatyu:
-Here you come to me and see that wall-paper is torn, on potolke
pyatna, the bathroom equipment is broken... Why you will not help, you will make nothing?
- So it not mine! It is necessary to me?!
TYOSHCHA quickly copies the apartment on it. Through mesyats:
-Well, zyatyok that you do not undertake repair?
- Mother! This now not yours! It is necessary to you!?

*****

The mother-in-law at the son-in-law asks:
-Probably bad thoughts without me in the head climbed?
- Yes, kept thinking that you will return!

*****

The mother-in-law potters about at the car in front of the house. The son-in-law from okna:
-Mothers where it you gathered?
- On a cemetery, synok.
- And who home will drive then the car?

*****

The mother-in-law swims in the sea, and her Son-in-law with the little son sunbathes ashore. Suddenly the mother-in-law of the beginning tonut.
-Look, the father!. The grandmother to us waves a hand!
- That you sit? Wave also you with it!

*****

The mother-in-law in kitchen incidentally undertakes the bared wire. From blow current it jumps aside and overturns on herself a pan with water and it being necessary not to slip in a pool, catches for batareyu.
zyat rasstroyeno:
-Eh, mother, in the return all this sequences.

*****

- Your mother-in-law very much loves you!
- Is not present if it loved me, would not impose me on a neck the daughter.

*****

The mother-in-law pensively tells the son-in-law about the proshlom:
- When I was young - I was silly, naive and very ugly...
ZYAT:
-Mother, you perfectly remained!

*****

The mother-in-law washes a window on the 16th floor, the son-in-law quietly observes. Suddenly the mother-in-law poskalzyvatsya and breaks down. The son-in-law approaches a window, mother looks out down and phlegmatically zamechayet:
-Yes, flat cakes at you never well turned out...

*****

The motorcyclist's mother-in-law, having passed without a helmet in a cradle 20 kilometers, became insectivorous.

*****

The mother-in-law my Eleonora Fiodorovna presented me mountain skiing and all equipment... so elegantly nobody wanted to get rid of me still.

*****

The mother-in-law fried to the son-in-law a frying pan of cutlets. The son-in-law throws half-cutlets to a cat. The cat falls dead. The son-in-law to the mother-in-law a frying pan on a muzzle. A cat, jumping, with characteristic zhestom:
-Yesss!!!

*****

The mother-in-law begins abuse with the son-in-law. The son-in-law, nodding on hanging on a wall ruzhye:
-Mother, I ask, do not bring this performance to the third act.

*****

Mother-in-law: - When my train departs?
ZYAT: - In two hours, 34 minutes, 40 seconds.

*****

The mother-in-law dies. The son-in-law sits next and waits. Tyoshcha:
-Okh, is necessary flowers polit.
-Mother, do not distract.

*****

The mother-in-law sends the son-in-law to greengrocery. Asks that on conscience chose vegetables for salad. That pure were, without nitratov.
zyat came into shop known for the most qualitative vegetables. Having filled packages, decided to specify at prodavshchitsy:
-Tell, these vegetables without nitrates and without any toxic agents? Ya
tyoshche them ponesu.
prodavshchitsa:
-Without... It to you, the young man, most it is necessary to put.

*****

The mother-in-law is practically the second mother. And even it is more - remother.

*****

The mother-in-law who arrived from the village addresses to zyatyu:
-That you in a kastryulka had it? Nasilu washed!
-B to a kastryulka? Teflon covering, mother...

*****

The mother-in-law arrived on a visit...
udruchenny the son-in-law goes to the synu:
-Remember, you wanted last year a drum, and in before last - a trombone? And so, tomorrow we will buy both that, and another!...

*****

The mother-in-law arrived to zyatyu:
-About! Mother arrived, you to us on long?
- Yes, yet not nadoyem
- And cho, even to tea will not drink?

*****

The mother-in-law comes to the daughter and zyatyu:
tyu, your mother, what at you in a hall is dark, how at the Black in a bum?
ZYAT:
-Oy, mother, and everything you know that, and everywhere that you visited!

*****

The mother-in-law comes to zyatyu:
-Here that, my dear zyatek: Do that you want, get out as you can, but I want that I was buried in the Kremlin wall!
Ha comes the next day zyat:
-Here that, the mother-in-law my dear: Do that you want, get out as you can, but a funeral today at midday...

*****

The mother-in-law comes to zyatyu.
-Darling zyatek, here to you hundred thousand. As you want turn, but bury me v
kremlevskoy to a wall. The son-in-law comes to the next morning to teshche.
- The Beloved mother-in-law as you want turn, but a funeral today in twelve.

*****

The mother-in-law swallowed 50 kopeks. A trifle, and it is pleasant!

*****

The mother-in-law talks with zyatem:
-Dear son-in-law, in the evenings you tell Vladik fairy tales...
- Well, the son loves ikh.
-Yes, it well. But you why all fairy tales come to an end equally could not explain: "They got married and lived happily because the bride was an orphan"?
- was not simple you in those days, mother... - answered zyat.
moya the mother-in-law does not ask me difficult questions, helps to solve all our financial problems. Therefore I tell the son fairy tales a little with other ending: "They got married and lived happily because the bride had mother". Dear guests, I want to give this toast and to drink for health of my beloved mother-in-law!

*****

The mother-in-law decided to make a surprise to the son-in-law, dressed up the Snow Maiden, and came home. The son-in-law thought that it is the wife is kidding (the mother-in-law is similar to it), too decided to make by her a surprise, dragged in a bedroom, and, almost without undressing, had. The father-in-law disguised as Father Frost comes into this moment sees such picture - the son-in-law in a bed with the mother-in-law (the wife learned!) - takes a staff, and from one blow kills her. The son-in-law gets accustomed - and this is the mother-in-law! Thanks
ofigevaya:
-, of course, Father Frost, but I you about it 20 more years nazad
prosil...

*****

The mother-in-law sits on a sofa. Over her head old massive watch hangs. When teshcha
vstayet, hours padayut.
-Eternally they are late! - it is angry the son-in-law speaks.

*****

The mother-in-law sits in a chair and irons the rotveylera.
uvidev the son-in-law, the Son-in-law orders sobake:
-!!!

*****

Mother-in-law: - Tell, what you thought when for the first time saw my daughter? Son-in-law: - Ya
podumal: "Oh, what, probably, beautiful mother at it!."

*****

Teshcha:
-Tell, what you thought when for the first time saw my daughter?
-Ya thought: "Oh, what, probably, beautiful mother at it!."

*****

The mother-in-law looks out of the window on the desert yard. The son-in-law irons the iron laces. Teshcha:
-Yes, in the yard dushi.
- And where to smother, mother?