Jokes about women

Read funny Jokes about women

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- The word from five letters, contains letters p, z, d, and?
-West, blya!
-is exact...

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- Listen, all men - identical!
-of Marines, you, what read the textbook on anatomy?

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Listen, Dig as to teach the girl to float? - asked KON.
-About - Roy pensively told, - it is necessary to put the right hand to it on a tummy the left hand, gently, on buttocks, pushing for buttocks, stroking a breast... Take
-of Lines, Roy, it is my sister! - KON.
-was indignant And... then throw off it from the mooring!

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- Hear, Zine, and you not such and terrible!
-Ya not Zina! I am her brother Vasya!

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– The girl broke up With me... And Still Sent photos where She With my friend strikes...
-I You that?
-Sent these photos to her father...

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God to paradise to Adam and Eve went down and speaks: "I have my children for you two gifts. But you have to solve what coma dostanetsya.
pervy a gift - should be written a gift. "
ADAM started jumping, running, begging, saying that all life dreamed about etom.
eva ustupila.
adam he ran on all Eden garden, ssal everywhere and on all: on trees, on florets, on small insects, on stones...
dolgo were watched by Bog and Eve at it bezumiye.
eva approached God and asked: "But there was still the second gift. What it? "
" Mozgi, Eve, brains... But also this gift should be given to Adam, a that it all obossyt here!"

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The old, poor, smelly bum will get acquainted for the purpose of creation of a family with thick,
potnoy, the fat babishchy. And I, the high intelligent blonde, will get acquainted s
chudesnoy, the tender girl _i WITHOUT YOUR TR%KHANOY of the NEWSPAPER! _

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There is a girl, waits for the bus. The pleasant young man and sprashivaet:
- The Girl approaches it, you oversleep with me for $1,000,000?
devushka: - Yes, of course!
-A for 5 kopeks? Yes for whom you me take
-!? For whom I take
-clearly, it was necessary to agree about the price!

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Costs (P) aren with long hair in ochepedi.
podkhodit (C) tapushka.
(C) - the Girl, you the last?
(P) - I am not a girl!: - E
(C) - Found than to brag!

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The grandma on an old age of years on the South went. Comes and shares with the granddaughter vpechatleniyami:
-Everything was good, only flirtation was a little. But byl.
-Grandmother, what flirtation at your age?!
-Well, and what? I still can lie.

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- You so grew thin!!! It is a diet new? - yes, carrots, beet and potatoes! - And what did, cooked or fried? - DUG!!!

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- It such! It such!
-Well what it, what?
-Here you will see it and at once in trousers it is close!
-Where? In front or behind?

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- What is the pregnant girl?
It the girl without sense of humour, with her joked, and she was inflated.

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Tampons TAMPAX: Delivery and installation, an individual approach, are possible any konfiguratsii.
kazhdy the 100-th TAMPAX with a surprise cracker.

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Trolleybus chock. Near a puncher there is a girl, the young man through it pytaetsya
prosunut and to punch the talonchik in a puncher, an at it something in any way not vykhodit.
devushka vozmushchenno:
-you already a floor of hour on me lie and cannot get in any way...
PAREN:
-Well, I am not guilty that the end everything is wrapped and wrapped

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- I have two news: good and bad. With what to begin? Begin
-with good!
-K to us go two little girls!
-Oh! And what bad?
-Yes both of them bad!.

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- I have some weight in a stomach: disturbs, spoils mood, distracts, presses. A saw - did not help "Aktivy". It was necessary to go to vrachu.
- And what he told?
-Third month.

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- Your guy knows how to cook?
-Is not present, but it fries professionally!

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The confident young man enters the bar and sits down near very attractive devushkoy.
bystro having looked at it, he orders to drink and starts looking on chasy.
devushka it notices and asks:
-Podruga is late?
No, - he answers. - I just bought this unusual watch and now simply tested ikh.
zaintrigovannaya the girl interesuyetsya:
-Neobychnye hours? what in them special?
They use alpha rays for information transfer, - explains on.
-I about what they speak now?
They say that you now completely without underwear!
devushka laughs and vosklitsayet:
-Togda they, has to be, are broken because on me there is an underwear!
molodoy of people starts knocking on hours and speaks:
-Chyopt! Probably, they hurry for an hour!

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The clever woman does a compliment muzhchine:
-Know, to me it is so good with you, so reliably! And at you a lot more money remained?

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Rush hour in metro:
- The Girl, I want you...
-Ya soglasna.
-... to ask...
-I told that soglasna.
-... do not press to me an umbrella on yaytsa.
- The Impudent person!!!

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- You that such not slept?
-Yes one girl all night long did not allow to fall asleep. Talkative such got, it is simple zhut.
-That for the girl?
-that at the station arrival of trains declares.

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Four mornings. Drugstore on duty. On a threshold devushka:
-Give me sleeplessness medicine!
-to you what?
-Test for pregnancy.

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That it did not seem, what not in topik:
razgovarivayut 2 porugi:
-I so worry, the first is necessary to me marriage noch.
-As you will worry when you give birth?
-Is nonsense, I already gave birth.

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South. The girl hardly manages to get on the leaving train, runs in a compartment, to sit down on the place, and stroking knees says:
- At last you together.

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The young Frenchwoman in a bed nobody in the morning the monsieur lights up ladies' sigaretu.
vydykhayet a tobacco smoke and is thoughtful tak:
-Znala mother that I smoke...

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The young man speaks: That between us occurred, I as the decent man has to marry you …
devushka in reply asks (thus pulling pants): - My God, and what occurred?

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The young man buys wedding koltso:
-Please, would make an engraving .
pozhiloy yuvelir:
-I advised you to write to "Tana from Gena" well: "From Gena". You never know...

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- I can do everything, except sex with unfamiliar muzhchinoy.
-to Madam, allow to get acquainted.

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- I heard that you are the second time in marriage vyshla.
-Yes, but it is one many younger menya.
-be not upset, with you it will quickly grow old.

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- I thick?
-NET.
-But would not prevent to grow thin, huh?
-You to me and such nravishsya.
-But I do not cause delight, huh?
-Cause vostorg.
-But not mad, huh?.

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- Why 50% of women feign an orgasm?
- They think that us, men, it excites!

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Edyt devushka s parnem v lifte.celuutsya... Devushka: kak vas zovut? Paren': Seresha, vas? devushka: Vot chert, menya toshe (hahaha)

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The real woman in the life has to make three things: to destroy the house, to cut a tree and to give birth to the daughter!!!

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Whether will tell He where got to your nice barmensha?
-Want to drink something?
-Is not present, I want to find the husband.

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Conversation of two girlfriends: - I was not let in church yesterday. Told - it is incorrectly dressed. - And I put on in due form - a scarf, a long skirt, long sleeves of a wide jacket, all in dark tones. So I in militia was swept up - took for the shahid...

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And after all women are similar to the blue …. what muck.

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- And I drove the girl in a zoo yesterday!
Well and how? Did not take!!!

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- And to us yesterday in a cabin the inflatable woman zaletela.
-you Lie, inflatable do not fly!