Anecdotes about the job

Read funny Jokes about doctors

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The doctor, you know, - the confused young man speaks, - one my acquaintance has a suspicion on a venereal disease.
- Well, well, - are told by the doctor, - take off trousers and show the acquaintance.

*****

- The doctor, you know, I have such delicate problem. Well, I have a bad hearing - I break wind also I do not hear myself. And friends laugh...
- Is not present problems, here to you retsept.
- And what, the doctor, I will become better to hear?
-

*****

- The doctor, tooth very much hurts me!
- we Will be rvat.
- And it is impossible to cure it in any way?
- Is hard to say, in a mouth darkly and it is badly visible. I will pull out then we will look that it is possible to make.

*****

- The doctor, a toothache does not allow me to sleep all night long! What to do? Find
- to yourself night work.

*****

- The doctor, I have yellow teeth. What to do?
- of Hypermarket... Yellow teeth... And, I know: yellow teeth - a green tie!

*****

- The doctor, all ignore me!
-of Sleduyushiya!

*****

- The doctor that for idiotic appointment you to me made?
- That here the idiotic: to take for the night 2 pill of aspirin i
goryachuyu a bathtub...
- All right aspirin, but bathtub! After the first 10 liters pulled out me.

*****

- The doctor to get rid of this illness, I is ready to sell soul to a devil!
- Well, old man, to what such heavy thoughts? We will help you free of charge, and you will quietly give it to God.

*****

The doctor to recover from this illness, I is ready to sell soul to a devil!
- Well, old man, to what such heavy thoughts? We will help you free of charge, and you will quietly give it to God.

*****

- The doctor, everyone morning after I will get up, at me the whole hour is turned golova.
-Get up 60 minutes later.

*****

- The doctor, seems to me after operation my feet of steel different?
- Of course, now the left foot at you is thirty thousand more expensive for schet
ustanovlennogo than a gamma core.

*****

- The doctor, seems we him lost... what now will be???
- of Anything, anything... Now electricians will repair light, and we will find... Far it should not leave... Where it in the dark will leave... Under anesthetic...
DA and his kidney, here here

*****

- Doctor, what illness the best?
- Itch: it was scratched - and still hochetsya.
- And what the worst?
- Hemorrhoids. Neither most to look, nor to show another

*****

- The doctor, what difference between beer and medicine?
- at first write out Medicine and then I drink, and beer snachala
pyyut, and write out.

*****

- Doctor, what condition of the new patient?
- the Difficult question, but we will hope... that will be enough for treatment.

*****

- The doctor, what condition of the patient who arrived yesterday? Forgive to
-, and you whom to it have?
-Ya his darling zhenshchina.
-You see the colleague (looking around), his state occupies me not less yours:)

*****

- The doctor, I had five years no men!
Yes, but and here I?! I - psikhiatr.
-Doktor, am a little more and I will go crazy!!!

*****

- The doctor, I have a blue face! To Amputate
-! Following!

*****

- The doctor, I can see through walls! What to do to me?
-Go to a bath!

*****

- The doctor, in any way I cannot neither get up, nor sit down, lech.
- Then you need only to be hung up.

*****

- The doctor, I want to commit suicide. What to do to me?
- Well that I can advise you... There are many different ways.

*****

- The doctor, I cannot sleep at night. Still this damned cat pod
oknom brought me to the handle...
- Here to you fine poroshok.
- And how to accept it?
- It not for you. Give it to a cat.

*****

- The doctor, my husband has a serious frustration of mentality. Sometimes I for hours tell something to it, and then it appears that he did not hear slova.
-It not a disease, dear, it is Charisma!

*****

- The doctor, at my wife was gone a voice. What to do?
- Try to come back home at three o'clock in the morning today...

*****

- The doctor, can help a root of a ginseng from sexual powerlessness? Perhaps only bind
- more strong.

*****

- The doctor, I can be cured? And how many it will cost?
- of 5000 rubles!
- Is so expensive, and it is possible cheaper?
- Yes, is possible for 500 rubles, then 4500 rubles quite will be enough for you for a funeral, and it is possible and for 4

*****

- The doctor, I want to consult. My daughter smokes and smokes... smokes and smokes...
-A how old is she?
-Five. But I, of course, regulate this business as I can. Did not eat porridge - will not receive a cigarette. Itself braided a braid - additio

*****

- The doctor my wife speaks in sne.
- And what she speaks?
- vremeya repeats Everything: "No, Vasily, is not present"
- Well it not so strashno.
-Yes, but my name is Mikhail.
-All the same anything terrible while she speaks "no".

*****

The doctor my wife speaks in sne.
- And what she speaks?
- repeats All the time: "No, Vasily, is not present"
- Well it not so strashno.
-Yes, but my name is Mikhail.
-All the same anything terrible while she speaks "no".

*****

- The doctor, my wife constantly coughs. What did not take medicine, all the same cough not prokhodit.
- And a grass tried?
- Tried - coughs and giggles.

*****

- The doctor, my wife claims,
chto I it not udovletvorya in posteli.
speaks, for her temperament nuzhno
troikh such, as I...
- Is not present problems, now to you I will write out to a napravlenyitsa!
- Where? To the sexopathologist?!
- O

*****

- The doctor, my family considers, what I nenormalnyy.
i because I love all cotton носки.
- Well and what such here? I too lyublyu
khlopchatobumazhnye socks.
-However, doctor? As you them prefer
A - with vinegar or with sour cream?

*****

- The doctor, my husband caught gonorrhea. What to do? What to do?
-A why he did not come? He still knows nothing
- about it.

*****

- The doctor, I am tormented by gases. However, without sound and a smell, but all the same nepriyatno.
doktor gives medicine, the patient leaves. In a week there is snova:
-a Doctor, gases disturb still. There was a sound, but, thank God, flavourless

*****

- The doctor, I is likely fatally sick...
-???
PO to all channels and from all manufacturing firms advertize laying with liquid of blue color, and mine krasnaya.ya.ya.ya.

*****

- I hope have a doctor?
-Nadezhda? Is... Chances are not present. The man comes to clinic on delivery of donor sperm. Put him on a sofa, gave glass capacity and saidi:
-Here to you a vessel, and now dream up. Imagine the most voluptuous and desired

*****

- The doctor how it is called?
- That is called?
- Well as it is called? I the wife in a night 16 times!!!
-PIZDYoZh it is called!!!

*****

- The doctor, I have no hereditary diseases, I am an orphan...

*****

- The doctor, our little daughter steadily loses flesh. We i
fizicheskiye with it do exercises, and much on air we happen. As she eats
-A? Ah, damn it, I felt
- that we forget something!