Jokes about Vovochku

Read funny Jokes about Vovochku

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Vovochka speaks uchitelnitse:
-to Mar Ivanovna, the father told me that we occurred from obezyan.
-Vovochka, the history of your family does not interest me

*****

Vovochka:
- They say that to learn to earn it is necessary since childhood. It pro
menya! I make money since three years - then the father began to send na
menya the alimony.

*****

Vovochka for New year thought that his desire did not come true and by that broke system of fulfillment of desires.

*****

Vovochka threatens mother:
-Ah so, you do not want to buy me chocolates?! All right, then ya
tebya at all I will call the grandmother!

*****

Vovochka, you that you do in bushes? To Tank e*u.
-Watch
-do not smoke there!

*****

- Vovochka, and what you did during war?

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- Vovochka, do not pull the father a nose! Do not touch hair! And in general depart ot
groba!

*****

Vovochka, do not pull the father a nose! Do not touch hair! And in general depart from a coffin!

*****

- Vovochka, what kind act you made today?
-Ya saw off the father in business trip and at the station uvidel
opozdavshego today the passenger who pursued train. I set on it Rex,
I the passenger caught up with the train.

*****

Vovochka on the way to school stopped mashinu:
-Dyad, bring to school!
-Yes, me, the boy absolutely in another storonu.
-is better for Those!!!

*****

- Vovochka goes with parents in mashine.
-Mother, look, the plane departed!
-Mother, watch, the train...
-Mother, watch, a horse...
- The Father, watch... blonde...

*****

Vovochka:
- And why women put on gloves with a section earlier?
-It in order that gentlemen could to ladies of the handle tselovat.
-Well - at, now that is clear why at our director jackets are behind cut!

*****

Vovochka in "Nature corner" plays chicken. She shouts,
vyryvayetsya, yells so that shout is audible on vsyu
shkolu7. The botanichka and in a fright asks:
-flies in "corner" That you do?
-As that, - quietly answers Vovochka, - I look for at it erogennye
zony.

*****

Vovochka in "nature corner" plays chicken. She shouts, escapes,
krichit like a stuck pig so that shout on all school. Flies in "corner" of
uchitelnitsa and in a fright asks:
-That you do? Erogenous zones I look for
-.

*****

- Vovochka that tomorrow again I had your father!
-For what, Marvana?
-have nothing, and for what!... Or rather, for whom!... Yes! Tell
I to it that is possible and without champagne!

*****

Vovochka asked a riddle uchitelnitse:
-Call the word which consists of three letters. You held ego
v rukakh.
-Go out recently!
-In vain! It is chalk. But I like the course of your thoughts.

*****

Vovochka glanced in a bedroom to parents and found the father, sitting on a bed and pulling a condom on a causal place. That, in attempt to hide the sticking-out member with a condom, developed in half and pretended as though he looks under a bed. - Fathers, what you do? - seriously Vovochka asked. - Yes I it seems saw how the mouse under a bed whisked - the father did not become puzzled. - And you it, apparently, trakh@t gathered?

*****

Vovochka, having reflected, sits at a lesson. The teacher asks:
-That with you, Vovochka? What problem excites you?
-Yes here trouble: mother from the resort arrived yesterday and a gonorrhea brought. Sperva
podarila to his father, and then two neighbors. And now all quarrel among themselves. A
Ya I will not understand - why? Whether mother brought a little, whether badly divided...

*****

- Vovochka on what reflected?
-Yes here I dream, Mar Ivanna. Somebody would write a smash hit under the name "Enema".
-It why still?!
-Ya then would write on radio: Expensive edition, deliver, please, "Enema" to our director of studies Stepanida

*****

Vovochka noticed that his elder brother has a shave every evening i
uyezzhayet where-to
na to the car. Well it interested Vovochka where it is the brother goes. Spryatalsya
on under a back seat in the car also went with it. Come to the center, brat
tseplyaet a telka, it is lucky it in the wood. In the wood asks:
-you Will be given?
-Is not present, I will not be given!
- Then get out and walk home!
telka got out, they home went. Next day Vovochka shaved, sel
na is great, went to the center. Picked up some little girl, posadil
ee on a frame,
povez in park. In park asks:
-you Will be given? I Will be given
-!
Vovochka thought and speaks:
- Then sit down on it is great and go home, and I on foot will go!

*****

Vovochka makes love, so, to Masha, and, suddenly,
otkryvayetsya a door and enter parents. Thoughts of participants stseny:
Vovochka - "Well everything, will precisely kill me" with
MASHA now - "Well now it precisely marries me"
OTETS - "And the sonny grows up"
MAT - "As it lies? To it it is inconvenient?"

*****

- Vovochka, you why wrote down in the diary instead of house zadaniya
"Occupation by love"?
-Because I banged all these tasks!

*****

Vovochka having been out of breath 3 lessons rush into a class by the end. And directly from a threshold krichit:
-Marya Ivanovna, you represent - on the way to school I was attacked by the armed bandits!
-My God, Vovochka! And what?
-As that? - Vovochka speaks, - they stole my homework!

*****

Vovochka comes into an office to the director and speaks:
-Ivan Petrovich, Zaytsev sent me to chertu.
-So, and what you made?
-Well here, came to you.

*****

Vovochka comes into a class absolutely drunk. The teacher in shoke:
-Vovochka, you that - pyanenkiya?
-Yes, Marya Ivanovna, is simple in a zh@pochka!

*****

Vovochka comes into school. Tidy, in a suit. Was not late. Vezhlivo
pozdorovalsya
s cloakroom attendant. In hands - the portfolio, in is mute textbooks. Comes in klass.
udivlenny whisper: - Look, Vovochka all right! It is necessary, does not use foul language! and other
Vovochka, having seen the teacher: - Hello, Marya Ivanovna!
marya Ivanovna, jumping aside: - Vovochka! Went on h*y!!

*****

Vovochka calls domoy:
-to Ma, hi - call the father!. Pas, hi - Spartak won?
-Yes, of course!. To call mother?!
-of Ugu... Ma, heard?! The father resolved!!

*****

Vovochka: - Here I was born in the winter. Now explain, from where I undertook?
aisty do not fly, the cabbage does not grow...
roditeli: - Snowmen stuck together.

*****

Vovochka goes on the city and meets the aunt. It asks:
-You where go, Vovochka?
-B bordel.
tetya right there with indignation gives to it a slap in the face on left shcheke.
Vovochka goes further and You meet the dyadyu:
-where so hurry, Vovochka?
-Yes here I go in bordel.
dyadya Vovochke gives a slap in the face on right shcheke.
Vovochka goes further and meets the uchitelya:
-Hi, Vovochka! Where you so early go? Two slaps in the face Go
-to a brothel, Pyotr of Vovochk's Petrovich.
poluchil. He approaches a brothel and meets u
vkhoda the hostess zavedeniya:
-to You that, the boy?
-I should enter inside!
NUT Vovochk ogreb at once some slaps in the face. Vovochka:
-Well it already too was indignant! Let next time the grandfather himself go for svoyey
shlyapoy!

*****

Vovochka goes along a school corridor, Vovochka, you where drags huge globus.
navstrechu uchitelnitsa:
-?
-B toilet, Marya Ivanna.
- And globe what for?! You know
-, Maria Ivanovna, such mood - for the whole world wants to be shitted

*****

Vovochka goes along a school corridor, drags the huge globe. Towards uchitelnitsa:
-Vovochka, you where?
-B toilet, Marya Ivanna.
- And globe what for?!! You know
-, Marya Ivanna, such mood - for the whole world wants to be nas*at!

*****

Vovochka goes along a school corridor, drags the huge globe. Towards uchitelnitsa:
-Vovochka, you where?
-B toilet, Marya Ivanna.
- And globe what for?!! You know
-, Marya Ivanna, such mood - for the whole world nasr@t there is a wish!!

*****

- Vovochka, go to a board and tell about Nekrasov's poem "Poet and the citizen". It tells
-about people nonconventional oriyentatsii.
-Vovochka, what for nonsenses? How it is not a shame to you?
-So in the same place is a line "You terminated? Sli

*****

- Vovochka, and well go here!
-Yes, fathers?! You a Kama Sutra took
-?
-Took... You something dorisovyvat
-A there?
-Well yes. Idi's
-now to me to help to untangle mother!

*****

- Vovochka, what relation at you to study?
-Ya udarnik.
-What you are the drummer if you study on "2" and "3"?
-A to me all on a drum.

*****

- Vovochka, and what largest fish you know?
-Б&$#ь.
-.....???????
-here the father said Yes that caught on holiday of ?$ # @, so then tselyy
mesyats it fried! Voice
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dobavil: koka
10.03.2010
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*****

- Vovochka, a canary disappeared somewhere!
-is strange, five minutes ago I vacuumed it, and it was on a place.

*****

Vovochka:
-potatoes it is not necessary to me, mother. Give me the empty plate full of cutlets.

*****

– Vovochka whom You will be when You grow up?
-Soldatom.
-But after all can KILL You on fronte.
-Who? Then I will be better than
-Nepriyatel.
- The enemy.