Jokes about Vovochku

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Jokes about Vovochku

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- Vova, and you what kind act made today?
-A I saw off the father and saw how the uncle runs behind the leaving train. So I released the dog pit bull terrier of Rex and the uncle was in time on poyezd.

*****

Vova came from school home, parents sprashivayut:
-Well, what you received today?
-"Four"! - cheerfully reported Vovochka.
- And why not "five"?
-A we had only four lessons.

*****

Vova came from school home, parents sprashivayut:
-Well, what you received today?
-"Four"! - cheerfully reported Vovochka.
- And why not "five"?
-A we had only four lessons.

*****

Vovka came back from school and speaks ottsu:
-Fathers, we measured in a class of a piska today, so at me most dlinnaya
okazalas. Why?
-Yes because to you is 27 years old Vova!

*****

- Vovochka when you were born?
-goda.
-Was lucky on February 29, 1984 you!
-of That was lucky? Birthday of times in four years is celebrated!
-Was lucky that the 84th year was leap, a that could not be born at all.

*****

Vovochka comes from school with a shiner under an eye. His father sprashivaet:
-That, attacked?
-Yes, wanted hours otobrat.
-So you them to identify will be able?
-A chyo I? Let them now relatives identify

*****

Vovochka (In) came to hand over zachet.
nichego does not know, plavaet.
marivanna (M): Well everything, give a record book, the two I will deliver to you and vsyo.
(In: Wait a moment Marivanna. Want I the elbow I will bite also you to me the three postavte
(M): Yes, you will not be able, a не-не
(In): Well one chance!!!
(M) Ladno.
nu B. somehow managed. and it to it puts troyku.
(In) Marvanna, wait a moment, give a, I will bite myself for yagoditsa.
(M) of Bla-bla
(In) Bla-bla
na somehow lay down and bit itself. Puts chetverku.
(In) Wait a moment, want a, I in a mouth will give you, and Coca-Cola to @@ at?
(M)...
(B)...
(M) Vladimir, same not Coca-Cola???!!
(B) Yes? Sorry, it did not turn out, all right, stavte the four.

*****

Vovochka sits at a lesson and clicks the ball handle. The teacher does it zamechaniye:
-Vovochka, than it you are engaged? You to us meshaesh.
-Yes here, Marya Ivanovna, I will not understand: man's, a why they children have no handle of a female sort, a core?
-Immediately get up and go for the father!
Vovochka comes home and says to the father that that cause in shkolu.
- And what is the matter? - is interested otets.
-Yes here asked Marya Ivanovna: the handle of a man's sort, a core female, for some reason is not present an of children!
OTETS disassembled the handle, looked and otvechaet:
-Well and teachers, bad at you, - here the spiral costs!

*****

Vovochka asks at ottsa:
- And how I appeared on light?
-You a stork prines.
- The Father, around so is a lot of beautiful girls, a you storks tr @@@ eat...

*****

Vovochka the Father asks at ottsa:
-, a how many lasts periods?
- The Sonny, it depends on the woman. The mistress has two-three days, an at the wife nearly a month.

*****

Vovochka plays about at a lesson. The enraged teacher gives it a clip and speaks:
-That tomorrow brought to me the ottsa.
Vovochka:
-Aha, now! I already gave one such. So a year I cannot take away back.

*****

- Vovochka, what such fable? It when animals tell
-with each other. For example, the pig speaks s
obezyanoy, here is how we now!

*****

- Vovochka, you whom love more: father or mother?
-U us in a family all in a different way: the father loves mother, and I do not interfere.

*****

Vovochka runs in home from school and krichit:
-Mother! We have a silly teacher!
-Why? - is surprised mama.
- And it, you only imagine, cannot distinguish without wrapper "Mars" of
OT of "Snickers"!

*****

Vovochka runs in in komnatu.
-Mother! Mother! The father in a toilet was hung up!
MAMA breaks ruki:
-My God! Well why why he made it?!
VOVA (with anxiety):
-All right, mothers, I joked... It on an attic hangs.

*****

Vovochka runs in in komnatu.
-Mother! Mother! The father in a toilet was hung up!
MAMA breaks ruki:
-My God! Well why why he made it?!
VOVA (with anxiety):
-All right, mothers, I joked... It on an attic hangs.

*****

Vovochka ran in to the house and cried with poroga:
-Mother, mother, to us the new girl came to a sandbox!
-I you it, wretches, banished? - strictly asked mama.
-Of course! And even on two circles...

*****

Vovochka politely entered a class. Marya Ivanovna was one. He took off trousers and lifted up it yubku.
-Vovochk, stop now!
-A that such? I from a threshold asked you: "It is possible to enter?" And you answered: "Yes, please!"

*****

Vovochka, having come back home after urokov:
- The Father, at school PTA meeting today... But only for samogo
uzkogo kruga.
-For the narrowest circle? What does it mean?
-Will be only the teacher and you...

*****

- Vovochka, it is necessary to behave well. Here you see, chickens behaved badly and them ate lisa.
-I See! - Vovochka answered. - But after all, if they behaved well, they would be eaten by us!

*****

Vovochka, it is necessary to behave well. Here you see, chickens behaved badly and them ate lisa.
-I See! - Vovochka answered. - But after all, if they behaved well, they would be eaten by us!

*****

The Vovochka all who was out of breath and excited rushes into a class, opozdav
na kind twenty minut.
-Vovochka! Why you are late?!!! Lesson 20 minutes all right!!!
-Oh, Marya Ivanovna and I here in a locker room fried potato!
-Potato? In a locker room? Strange...
C is opened by noise the door - on a threshold there is fairly pomyataya
uchenitsa.
-Kartoshkina!!! And you where walked?!!!

*****

- Vovochka! You why instead of school began to go to a gym?
-Mar Ivana, you agree with a postulate: "Knowledge - force!"?
-Agrees!
-Means, knowledge can be pumped up weights!

*****

Vovochka attentively observes how give to drink water to a cow. Then tells osuzhdayushche:
-Here so milk water dilute...

*****

Vovochka came back home from walk. It takes houses telefonnuyu
trubku and the Father speaks ottsu:
-, mother just left, phone still the hot.

*****

Vovochka comes back home from a party. In the hall kvartiry
dolgo rummages hands on a wall. Vovochka approaches it mama:
-, what you look for there? Yes you tell
-Otstan.
-to me, what you look for there? Perhaps I znayu.
-your mother, it was worth leaving the house, already the door was immured.

*****

- Vovochka, - threw up the hands the grandmother. - Where it is good? I zhe
saida that apples should be divided equally with the sister! I also share
-A. In order that was equally, it is necessary to eat one apple at first.

*****

Vovochka vspominayet:
-I studied At school badly, and my mother constantly called to direktoru.
potom I started studying better, and mother with the director had to look for drugoye
mesto for meetings.

*****

Vovochka enters a class with delay 5 minutes. Uchitelnitsa:
-Vova, you where was? Fried
Potato, Marya Ivanovna.
-?! sit down...
EShchE in 10 min. Katya comes into a class. Uchitelnitsa:
-Kartoshkina, and you where were?

*****

Vovochka enters a bedroom to parents and sees how mother on the father sidit:
- And what you do here? Yes it I massage against a thick stomach do
-to the father...
-will not help, the neigbour again inflates every Thursday its!

*****

- Vovochka, you when will grow up whom you will be?
-Ginekologom.
-Why?
-Yes here I look as the father on women runs, and here they to mne
zakhazhivat will be.

*****

Vovochka did not learn a lesson, the teacher is going to put dvoyku.
-Marya Ivanovna, I do not want you to frighten, but the father told me:" One more two and someone will be hit on the head!"

*****

Vovochka leaves school, there his Masha meets and prosit
podnesti a portfolio to the house, he speaks well, they reached to doma
masha to it speaks:
-Can be we will go tea we will drink?
-Now, I only fast in a drugstore sbegayu.
-? I Will buy
-something to tea.

*****

Vovochka speaks mame:
-Mothers, and who my father?
-Grandfather of Moroz.
-As it? - Vovochka.
-As, as is surprised... came at night, gave a gift and more it nobody saw.

*****

Vovochka speaks mame:
-Mother, today the principal asked, whether there are at me brothers or sisters. And I told, what I am an only child in semye.
- And what she answered? She told
-: "Thank God!"

*****

Vovochka says ottsu-ofitseru:
-Fathers, and the truth, what for military there is nothing impossible?
-is exact, the sonny!
-Cool! Then go to a bathroom and jostle the cream for britya
obratno in a tube.

*****

Vovochka tells ottsu:
-You in school cause!
-A what is the matter?
-Yes I there a bombochka small vzorval.
-Well if small, why to me to go to school?
-is correct! That on ruins to go

*****

Vovochka tells ottsu:
-You in school cause!
-A what is the matter?
-Yes I there a bombochka small vzorval.
-Well if small, why to me to go to school?
-is correct! That on ruins to go!

*****

Vovochka speaks pape:
- The Father, give a stolnik!
PAPA speaks:
-You not small to ask from me a trifle! You are right
-, the father, give one thousand!!!

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