Jokes about peoples

Read funny Jokes about Georgians

<** Previous Topic          Next Topic **>

275  276  277  278  279  280  281  282  283  284  285  286

Judge: - Gogi, you why the boy raped?
GOGI: - There are I on the wood. I see - the boy. Thought, wild...

*****

Sudya:
-Companion Papiashvili, you are accused in group iznasilovanii.
papiashvili:
-As of the group? Odyn was!
SUDYA:
-Group of victims - to rise!

*****

Judge the Georgian for murder of the neighbor. The judge speaks: well tell, the defendant as it proizoshlo.
gruzin speaks: Prikhazhyu I, znachyt, home. I look, the door is open. I see, my neighbor embraces to May the wife. I grab
kinzhal, but then I remember: I after all too embraced his wife! I look further: my neighbor undresses to May the wife! I catch
ZA a dagger, but then I remember: I after all too undressed his wife!
smotryu is farther. My neighbor brings down my wife on a bed!! I grab a dagger, but then I remember: I after all too brought down its
zhenu on a bed...
sudya (was tired): well, the defendant, for what you killed the neighbor?
gruzin (indignantly): I the member about his curtain did not wipe!!!

*****

Judge two Georgians what they at night on Belaze
nayekhali on Zaporozhets.
sudya:
-Why you, the citizen Sukhishvilli, ran na
avtomobil, going on an oncoming lane, crumpled ego
i reeled up on a wheel?
vtoroy Georgian Genikhtsvalli, indignantly, pervomu:
-I zhe tebe gavarit that it was the car, and ty:
"the Bucket, a bucket!"...

*****

- What is the internationalism in Georgian?
-It when all people without distinction of nationalities - Georgians, Russians,
ukraintsy, Jews, Tatars and others - all together, amicably... go to cut Armenians!

*****

Three Georgians tell who more oblazhalsya
pervy- There are I on the market to the people darkness see blondinka
popka in - in I see legs traleybus it and vtroleybus
so I on the market to the people of anybody tretim-go the second too samoye
s I see with the back the man and the buttocks in legs in not the trolleybus not of
avtobusa speak at you

*****

Three hunter, the Russian, the Ukrainian and the Georgian, razgovarivayut.
russkiy:
-Go I, and towards to me a huge bear. This hunting!
ukrainets:
-I Go on the wood, and directly to me - huge such mountain boar. This hunting! I a pas to the road, and towards me the girl Go
GRUZIN:
-. To me hunting, and it too hunting... This, I understand, hunting!!!

*****

At the Georgian the wife gives birth in maternity hospital. It comes tuda:
-Skazhyte, May of Reng Rodyl?
-Yes.
-Malchyk?
-NET.
-A who!?

*****

At the Georgian the son was born. Here he also asks the druga.
-Guess how I called the son! The first syllable - a note, the second - samyy
prekrasny part female tela.
-Not znayu.
-Ah you, SIROZhA.

*****

At the Georgian sprashivayut:
-Gogi, you love tomatoes? I like to eat
-, and so - no.

*****

At the Georgian sprashivayut:
-What your favourite bird?
-Orel.
-Because lives in mountains?
-Because nose beautiful...

*****

At the Georgian sprashivayut:
-What most favourite bird?
-Arol!
-Why?
-Nose krasyvay!

*****

At the Georgian son session approaches. The Georgian father naputstvuyet:
-If you will hand over on five - I will buy you black "Volga", on four - white, na
tri - gray, and you will go by gray "Volga", as the fool!!!

*****

There goes Vano to Moscow. Dato before departure gives it $50000 and prosit:
-Slyushay, daragy, now in fashion color Bardo, buy me everything for a myuzhchina of color of Bardo...
prokhodit some time, Dato calls Vano from Moskvy:
-Slyushay, daragy, all Tib a font... A suit from Cardin - Bardo, a tie from Dior - Bardo... (heap of prechisleniye)...
zakhozhu in salon - and there Mercedes - too ordered Bardo - specially Tib recoloured... Absolutely there are no your
baksov at you, but savsem all Bardo! "
-Vi, Vano, Wai thanks! You to me as the brother, as the father, come a lamb we will eat... "
-Pagadi, Dato, I forgot to ask - Bardo is zhelty, huh?"

*****

The wife died at the Georgian. It goes on the apartment a grief the killed and shepchet:
-tebya Nat Here: And here tebya Nat: Here tebya Nat: And here tebya Nat: Tut
tebya Nat! And here tebya Nat!! Expert!!!

*****

University, Soviet period. Two Georgians go to pass examination in communism history. In two hours one leaves
radostny, right there to it brosayutsya:
-On what handed over all?
-On two!
-A that such cheerful?
-So of Givi is direct arrested there!

*****

Lesson in Georgia. Uchitel:
-Children. Write down offers: "From great a wall left two chickens" .
zapisali? Now write down one more offers: "From great a wall vyshel
eshche one chickens". Wrote down? Then, Gogi, tell me, how many chickens left iz
stena?
-Three, uchitel.
-is wrong. Chetyre.
-Why four?
-Because one chickens left imperceptibly!

*****

Lesson in Georgian shkole.
uchitel:
-Children, syagodnya we prokhody Pilina. Here it on fotografii.
uchenik:
- The Teacher, Pilin is fishes or birds?
uchitel:
-Pilin it ryb.
uchenik:
- The Teacher and why he sits on a tree? I do not know
uchitel:
-. Beshany some.

*****

Russian lesson in Georgian shkole.
-Deta, a segodna we will be prakhadyt the word "task". It ne that a taska,
katory started, and ne that started, katoriya grust, and ne that grust, katoriya grows v
lesu... And it is that a taska, on katory vse mi we radiate Mel.

*****

Russian lesson in Georgian shkole.
-Write down a pretlozheniye. "The man had a shenshchina in a bath". Teper
razberite it in parts offers. Well here you, Gogi! Here to sort
-A of that! Shenshchina - a subject, the man - appropriate, a
banya - a pretext!
-Sit down, Gogi, chetyre.
gogi (snatching out a dagger):
-to Pachim four, to a pachim ne five?!
-Patama that banning in this case - ne a pretext, and pronouns!

*****

Russian lesson in one of the Caucasian schools. Uchitel:
-yazik the words "sol", "mol" and "bol" are written To Russian about a soft sign, and the words "vilka" and "tarelka" - Baz soft
znak. Zapomnite it, det because it is understood it - it is impossible!

*****

Lesson of the Russian literature at the Georgian school. Uchitel:
-Gogi, daragy, tell us basnyu.
-Basnya Kryladze "Strekazel and Muravel". Muravel all leto worked,
rabotal, a field sowed, hleb plowed, listen and. And Strekazel all leto ran. Leto
konchilsya. Strekazel comes to Muravel and gavarit: "Listen, daragy, day
khleba for a shower and!" And Muravel answers: "You, listen, all leto ran, nichego
ne did, winter pryshet and you are pryshet to ask, huh? Go to the devil, Mukh
praklyaty!"

*****

- Uchitel, vi write a pachim the word "GAME" Baz of a soft sign?
-to Patam that is alkali, the fool!

*****

- E, listen, I bought "SUPERMAZ" to myself!
-A why tebe "SUPERMAZ"?
-Well as!? Spread - all prakhodyt!

*****

South. Georgian. Wine bench. Approaches otdykhayushchiy.
-Wine is?
-of Tebe what is necessary?
-Agdam.
-Is, - pours wine from the only barrel in a bottle, nakleivayet
etiketku, gives. Approaches sleduyushchiy:
-Southern Night Port is?
-Is, - pours from the same barrel, pastes a label, gives. Eshche
odin:
-Champagne is?
-Is. Labels came to an end. To pour?

*****

The Avar speaks to the girl:
-Patya, come to me tonight, houses nobody will be!
PATYA came and houses in the truth it appeared nobody...

*****

Hallo, good evening, and it is possible Irina?!
otvet - "And to it to Nat! "
" A where it, will not prompt? "
otvet-" to Patam shchto!"

*****

Hallo, Lena! Prive-e-et!! I from Makhachkala, estimate! You do not represent what is the awful city!! Everywhere stick:
TO strive to drag in the car, to hand-rail will press... Generally, Len, has so a rest, has so a rest!!!

*****

Aslan:
-Alimet, I will bring you vooooon that star?!
ALIMET:
-So, Aslan, today you will sleep at home!

*****

Aslan runs for neznakomkoy:
- The Girl! Girl! Stop!
-Yes, that happened? It you in a minibus a purse forgot
-?!
-Oh! Yes!
-Well, then run behind a minibus, it still nearby left!

*****

Aslan for days on end sits sits at the computer. Alimet at Okna:
-Aslan, snow idyot.
-Skazhi that I not houses.

*****

- Ahmed you doing than in Moscow?
- Landscape dizayner.
- Cool! What does this mean?
- Bulldozer working on ...

*****

The Dagestani on the road runs. Behind it the car catches up. The driver speaks to it: "Sit down, I will bring... "
dagestanets: "It is not necessary the brother, I hurry!"

*****

Marriage night at Magee and Patya. Patimat costs in indecision. The magician to it speaks:
-Patya take off a skirt. It snyala.
-take off a jacket Now. It snyala.
-Remove underwear. It snyala.
- The Kerchief too snimi.
patya in otvet:
- The Magician it is a shame!

*****

In the mountain aul the boy approaches the old man and asks:
-Dedushka, how old are you?
Hundred pyatdesit Vosem.
-wow! And you drink, smoke?
Кашэшна! And that so vaabshche never ne I will die!

*****

In Dagestan shkole.
uchitel.
deti, today mi we will be Murtuz a goat of a brosils in ushelye.
no it ne the beta teaches two ponyatyya:
ichto such gore, ichto such beda.
gore deti-it when at tebya! Deti-this
BEDA when Soviet the government flied in a self-lot, the self-lot poterat management, and a razbyls. Murtuz!
pavtari!

*****

In Dagestan shkole.
uchitelnitsa:
deti, Zapomnite
-Saul, Fasol, Vermishel
pishchittsa with a myakhjky sign, Vilk's
A, Glug and Tarilka
pishchitsa Baz Myakhjkago znaka.
khotya is to mind ne is conceivable!

*****

In the late seventies business was. My friend lived in the house opposite to Central Department Store on the second floor. Here in the hot summer afternoon of
stoim we with it on a balcony, and directly under us the stop, crowd, the people of vtobus waits. Also we see such picture.
priyezzhaya the Russian woman in a print sundress, half-backs okryto - a caret to shovels is obvious. And behind it there is a man obviously of
S of mountains in a jacket and with huge airfield on the head. The jacket back slightly threw off (hot!), moustaches, a nose impressive -
vse at it. He looks at a female back and a nose twists disapprovingly, rolls eyes, something mutters. Then
otkhodit aside, buys briketik ice cream, again approaches the woman behind, removes from ice cream an obvertka of
I (attention!) without trying lyapat it on a back to the woman. Covered! What squeal was distributed! Woman of the man not of
videla! Stacks, from this on the excited skin - a holodnyushchy piece of paper from under ice cream! She shouts, turns - and
muzhik quietly eats ice cream! She did not understand who made it!

*****

In shop the Dagestani discovers Coca-Cola drinks it, looks under a cover and sees an inscription "you won a cap"...
ON dresses this stopper on the head and speaks: - Ouch Saul for free got!!!