Jokes about peoples

Read funny Jokes about Caucasians

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Ha dictation two Georgians. To one another shepchet:
-Listen as it is correct to write: sratostat or stratosrat? Write
-dirizhopl - it will be correct!

*****

Ha to a stop are costed by the hairy man, the little girl,
smotrit approaches it in all eyes and asks:
- The Uncle, you the Papuan??
-O! I and in a bottom the expert I and in a pysa the expert!

*****

Analysis of school compositions. Composition of Vovochki:
"Winter. The river froze. Ha to the river wolves strike" .
uchitelnitsa:
-Well, Vovochka inconvenient...
-Of course is inconvenient, paws part.

*****

The Avar speaks zhene:
-do not know why about us say, what we such (knocks on a tree)?
Wife:
-Stuchat.
avarets:
-of Sidi, I will open.

*****

Avarian family. The wife made a dinner and they sit at a table and eat. Suddenly the wife receives blow in a jaw from
muzha...
"For what?! "
" do not champ! "
sidyat they is farther..., the wife sits, very much tries not to sound... and here suddenly the second blow in a jaw... Wife:
" Now that for what? I silently sat... "
" NOT... simply I remembered how you champed...

*****

The TU-154 airliner Moscow-Tbilisi performs flight along a route. Unexpectedly for
vsekh in a pilotsky cabin the armed Georgian breaks and, having put pistolet
k to the head of the first pilot, trebuyet:
-Turn Tbilisi!
-So at us, darling, and so flight to Tbilisi! You tell
-less, give Tbilisi! Yes understand
-you, we and so fly to Tbilisi! The last time I tell
-Ya to you, give Tbilisi! And that the third time I fly Tbilisi,
A I land Istanbul!

*****

The traffic inspector stops the Georgian going on "Volga".
-your rights?
-You're welcome.
-of Darling so same rights for control of airplane of "TU-154"!
-of That clung? What were, such and bought!

*****

The Azerbaijanian comes to the stomatologist. Of companies - all teeth zolotye.
stomatolog:
-Than I can help Okryvayet?
azerbaydzhanets:
-Dokhtur, oshchen I ask pastav of a signalizasye, a daaa!!!

*****

The Azerbaijanian sprashivayut:
-What do you think of national limitation?
-I Hate national limitation... and Armenians.

*****

The English businessman dictates to the secretary pismo:
-Dear sir! As my secretary - the lady,
Ya I cannot dictate it that about you dumayu.
bolee as I am a gentleman, I not imeyu
prava even to think of you so. But as you ne
yavlyaetes neither that, nor another, I hope,
chto you will understand me correctly.

*****

The Englishwoman in a seductive miniskirt. The young man devours it glazami.
vidya attention, so fixed to himself, the Englishwoman coquets. That to zepkalu
podoydet will correct a hairdress, the suitcase on the top shelf will move. Ho gpuzin
molchit and, unconcernedly, devours the Englishwoman with the eyes. That somehow pazpyadit
obstanovku Englishwoman sppashivayet:
-Do You speak English?
gpuzin otvechayet:
-Vakh! I want Koneshn!

*****

Army. Political occupations. Praporshchik:
-Alibirda. What is the Homeland? I do not know
-, the companion praporshchik.
-Муд#к you, Alibirda! Khabibulin, what such Homeland?
- The Homeland is my MOTHER!
-Well, Alibirda, what such Homeland?
- The Homeland is mother of Habibulina.
-Mudak you, е# your mother! The homeland is and your MOTHER! Got that?
-of Ponyal.
-Well, and what you understood?!
-Ya Khabibulin's brother!!!

*****

The Armenian goes on the wood, sees - a hut on chicken legs. It ey:
-Izba, izba! Turn to the wood the rehouse, and to me the back and slightly-chut
nagnis!

*****

The Armenian bathed in Odessa. It was caught by Chernomor:
-Here that, the friend, or you bang my twelve daughters, or I you utoplyu.
armyanin more tightly reel up on a hand a beard and speaks:
-Not twelve, but thirteen, you too were pleasant to me.

*****

The Armenian graduated from medical institute, faculty of the logopedist. First visiting day. In kabinet
zakhodit the man, lisps, badly utters words. Logoped:
-Razdevaytes, prakhadyte for a screen. In a minute because of a screen it is distributed gromkoye
"A-a-a". The doctor leaves, washes hands and speaks:
-All harasho, prikhadyte tomorrow, we will study a letter "B".

*****

Armenian riddle: above feathers, and it is below terrible - what is it?
- The Sparrow on GPU roof.

*****

The Armenian scientists on the mountain Chorus Virab
nashli the proof of that byl
osnovan in 782 to ours ery.
gruziny as heard Yerevan about it, solved,
chto so business will not go. Bought alyuminiyevoye
vedro, on it traced 882 to N e i
zakopali at themselves in Tbilisi. Then on televideniyu
objyavlyayut: SENSATION: Georgian arkheologi
nashli a bucket with date of the basis of Tbilisi.
mezhdunarodnye experts arrived podtverdit
nakhodku, took a bucket, turned and saw an inscription on dne:
"the Yerevan aluminum plant"

*****

The Armenian theater put "Little Red Riding Hood": Listen to
-, the grandmother, why at you such balshy eyes? This
-that tebya better videt
-Listen, and why at tebya such balshy ears? That tebya better slushat
-Listen to
-, and why at tebya such balshy a nose? At
-of Vi, the macaw, on sebya look better.

*****

The Armenian radio sprashivayut:
-What difference between "rather" "quicker"?
-Basic. Is "Give rather rather, Klon
nachinayetsya", and is "A horse-radish with it, with the Clone quicker,
davay is faster, even faster."

*****

Afghanistan. Dushmana surround small group. The commander speaks: It is necessary to cover whom-nibud
ostavit us, and we will try to break to svoim.
dobrovoltsu we will leave a helmet, three grenades, the machine gun, if that, then organizuyem
pyshnye a funeral at this time. Who volunteer? Georgian speaks:
-I saglasen, only ostavte ne three grenades and helmet, and three helmets and adynu
granatu. Left, crawled away. In an hour do not hear explosions, vystrelov.
podpolzli back - look: the Georgian, nearby a lot of the weapon, clothes sits, vokru
gpolugolye dushmana sit... The Georgian twists helmets and shouts: I TWIST - I TWIRL, KTO
ZAMETIL WHERE GRANAT?

*****

Big family under one big blanket. Sleepy golos:
-Gogi, ti ne you know gde yours #$:?
-It went to a toilet, popisat.
-Well you to it ab'yasn that my ass not prakhadny the yard!

*****

In America decided to make experiment. By radio at the airport declare - "V
poryadke an ekspriment in the flight New-Uork-... the pilot the monkey flies. In total brosayutsya
sdavat tickets. In cash desk the Georgian buys the ticket for this flight. The cashier udivlyaetsya
-"unless you are not afraid, after all the plane is conducted by a monkey?". "E daragy! Moskva
tatarin the tram drives..."

*****

At the Armenian theater. Statement of the children's fairy tale. Ivan Tsarevitch, addressing k
izbushke-na-kuryikh-nozhkakh:
-Yzbushka, a yzbushka, become to a les peredy, me the back. From zala:
- And there is some nagnys, huh?

*****

In the aul federals carried out "cleaning". The mountaineer hid in kolodets.
odin the federal soldier glanced there and kriknul:
-Hey, there is who here?
gorets suited an echo and answered emu:
- There is who here? There is who here?
-A can there is nobody?
-Is not present anybody, is not present nikogo.
-Or perhaps to pomegranate to throw?
-So after all is not present anybody, there is nobody!

*****

At the Baku school at Russian lesson the teacher speaks:
-Deti! Let's sort the piridlozheny: "Mamed and Ali
poshli in a bath". What ti skazhesh, Safar?
-Mamed is the subject, Alya-appropriate, and banya-mestoimeniya.
-Sadis, troyka.
-to Pachem?
-to Patam! Bath not pronouns, but pretext!

*****

In bane.
-Gogi, lift mylo.
-Better you lift soap, Givi.
-is fine, let's lift on time, and we will go.

*****

In Georgia on a market the lady chooses a cucumber. And so pokritit it and syak, gruzinu
eto bothered:
-Devushek, poslyushay, is a cucumber, but not x... ti it as ne pass - more ne
stanet!

*****

In Georgia on the mountain road the passenger car goes. On the way to it meets rasputye:
mozhno to go to the right, on the left or directly. At the crossroads roads the stone lies, and vozle
nego the healthy moustached Georgian in a felt cloak, a papakha and with a saber sits. Driver
ostanovilsya, left the car, approached to gruzinu.
-Tell where I will arrive if I go to the right?
-of Slyusha, daragy you there ne go! You there viyebut.
- And if I go on the left?
-of Slyusha, daragy you and there ne go! You there too are viyenut.
-A if I will go directly?
-Daragoy! You it is obligatory viyebut.
-So there where to me to go? The Georgian gets up and, throwing off a felt cloak, approaches...
-You vso hochshesh to go somewhere? Daragy! Anywhere it is necessary to go ne! I tebya
seychas and itself to a viyeb!.

*****

In Georgia there is a GAI officer, the Cop stops the Russian for excess of speed: - Vee was exceeded skorost, write
ob'yasnitelnuyu in gruzynsky language. Drove: - Yes I am not able on Georgian... Cop: - Anything ne knowing, here paper here write
ruch'ka with an ob'yasnitelna in gruzynsky language. Drove sat thought thought, put the five on a leaf. The cop saw
I rabosno soskriknul:
- And govorysh on gruzynsk ne umeesh, a half uzhe napysat...

*****

At the Georgian school there is parental sobraniye.
-Chekvadze, your daughter - the clear head, the honors pupil, the activist. Sukhoshvili, yours syn
uchitsya it is good, but began to smoke. And your son, Gogoberidze, was not yesterday,
pozayesterday and segodnya.
- And will not be!
-Why?
-Killed a reptile!

*****

At the Georgian school physical education class. Children uchtsya to twist a hoop, on Mananu
obruch not nalezayet.
uchitel:
-Manana! Persik! Ne port figure! Go home!

*****

At the Georgian school at Russian lesson the teacher speaks:
-Deti! Let's sort the piridlozheny: "Gogh and Givi is sent to a bath." That ti
skazhesh Georgy?
-of Givi is a subject, Gogh appropriate, a bath - mestoimeniya.
-Sit down "3".
-to Pachem?
- Therefore! A bath - a pretext.

*****

In Georgian shkole:
uchitel: Deti, guess a riddle: "Black-black, old-old,
NA a tree sits", who such?
VANO: IMHO, Georgian...
uchitel: Nat Vano, it voron.
a who such: "Red-red, hitry-hitry, under a tree sits"?
VANO: IMHO, Armenian....
uchitel: There would be you Vano to Beni....
VANO: To Beni Kavsadze?
uchitel: No, to Beni mothers!

*****

At the Georgian school. Uchitel:
-Deti! Predumayte predlozhenie in a questionstelny forme. There is malchik:
-Muzhiik pakhal zemlyu.
-Nat, Gy, it predlozhenie in an utverditelny forme, and me it is necessary in questionstelnoy.
- Then: "Muzhiik pakhal zemlyu, daa?"

*****

At the Georgian school. The teacher writes a prezhlozheniye on a board: "The man had zhenshchinu
v to a bath".
-of Gy, sort predlozhzhenie in parts rechi.
vstayet Gogo:
-Well, "zhenchina" is podlezhashchie, "man" - nadlezhashchie, "banya" - eto
skazuemoe.
-Nat, Gy, skazuemoe is "had", and "banya" is a mestoimeniya!

*****

At the Georgian airport there is a landing aboard the plane. One of passengers napravlyaetsya
pryamo in a pilotsky cabin, takes out because of a bosom of AK.
-Fly to Izrai ~! The pilot shrugs shoulders,
-to Israel, so to Israel what to me the difference, - and turns to priboram.
vdrug behind noise is heard. The pilot, having turned back again sees - against okhuyennogo
chemodana the okhuyenny Georgian in an okhuyenny cap. In one river keeps cut off golovu
ugonshchika, another - wipes a dagger about a shirt: - What-such Israel-mizrail?!
maskva to a skarea, roses fade!

*****

At the Georgian institute. There is an examination. There is a teacher from kabineta:
-all tickets prodany.
-As well as 13 For today? Vys Gogishvili
-A in general are silent! You have a debt for last semester of $2000!

*****

At the Georgian institute announcement: "Entrance examinations will not take place. Vse
bilety are sold"

*****

In Georgian restorane:
-Waiter! To me something national and ostrenkoye.
-Really, daragy, kindzhyal in a dzhopa you want?