Jokes about peoples

Read funny Jokes about Caucasians

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At the Dagestan school study methods medical pomoshchi.
-That you would make if your brother swallowed a key? - the question uchashchemusya.
-would Climb home through a window leaf.

*****

In Yerevan the Azerbaijanian of sparkling water decided to drink, threw a coin, and ottuda
vyezzhayet a fist and as will give it in an ugly face. That costs, all of okhrenevshiya. Again kinul
monetu, and again same history. He v
avtomat asked the passerby of the Armenian to throw a coin. That throws, from there the fist again leaves, waves "depart", i
opyat in a nose to the Azerbaijanian.

*****

In a bed two lie gruzina.
-Hey, Vano, where yours h@y?
-Gula-a-a-et.
-Hey, to it that, mine of asses bulvar perhaps?

*****

The Georgian () goes to a compartment of the railway car on the second shelf, and below sit a little,
E-e-e, churkestanets (H). Sit (H) - y and in own way talk: "Dyr-dyr-dyr". A
(G) wants to fall asleep and cannot. Then he overhangs down and speaks: "Hey,
churkestantsy, and well zamalchite, and ne that I you to an abass!" (H) - y exchanged glances also to the opyat
po-@: "Dyr-dyr-dyr". (): "Pasledny time gavaryu - become silent, and ne that ya
vas..." (H) - y again: "Dyr-dyr-dyr". () Took them and... quite right, obossal.
(H) - y with shouts: "Wai - vay-vay", - take off from a compartment and through some time
vozvrashchayutsya with the militiaman (M), too the Georgian. (M): "Dakumenta!" () protyagivayet
pasport with the invested chervonets. (L) thumbs through the passport, puts money in a pocket i
speaks: "And bolee ubeditelny dakument at you est?" (D) finds what - то
справку - permission to trade, bends it in half and in the middle of vanities 25 rubley.
(M) puts money in a pocket, long and thoughtfully examines the reference and, at last,
zayavlyaet: "Well, what I to the magician to tell you, churkestanets? At this chal'ek takoy
ubeditelny dakument! That it also can abasrat you."

*****

The Georgian and the lady go to a compartment of the train. The Georgian, naturally, sits down by it i
nachinayet to make advances... Suddenly, with absolutely indifferent look it otsazhivatsya na
protivopolozhny a sofa. And the lady most wanted meanwhile... It, having noticed na
paltse the Georgian a ring, tries to adjust the interrupted conversation: "It at Vas
opal or glass?". On what the Georgian answers: "Yes, Nat, you understand, prosto
raskhotelos".

*****

In a compartment of the train mother explains to the son as appear deti:
-clay Undertakes, preparation is molded, then, if to expiate it in milk, budet
malchik, and if in water - the girl. The Georgian, having overhung from the second shelf,
zainteresovanno asks:
- And what, the old way was cancelled?

*****

In a compartment poyezda:
-How many I can teach you, - the daughter's mother speaks, - do not eat some egg serebryanoy
lozhkoy, silver from eggs portitsya.
- The Century live, a century study! - the Georgian said, shifting a silver watch vo
vnutrenny a jacket pocket.

*****

In a resort the girl approaches automatic scales, throws a coin into a crack, becomes on scales. Watches
NA of the indication and discontentedly tut-tuts. Then takes off a raincoat, again throws a coin and rises on scales. Swings
golovoy, takes off a sweater and it is again weighed. Then again throws a coin and it tries to be weighed without shoes. In this
moment the Georgian watching this scene from handfuls monet:
-approaches Padazhdi it, daragy! Farther I pay.

*****

Comes into women's clothing shop gruzin:
-Give me the biggest woman pants. Brought to it. It posmotrel:
-it is good! Here my phone when they are bought, call.

*****

In the subway. The woman addresses to elderly gruzinu:
- The Man, clean from the road the suitcase! Georgian: - Girl, it not a suitcase...
ETO purse!

*****

The German and the Georgian go to one compartment. The hot man ispepelyayushche looks na
koketlivuyu the European...
-Shpreykhen zi doych?
-Of course, expensive, why you ask?

*****

At one airport in a waiting room three sit: Frenchman, American and Georgian.
vdrug approaches them the journalist and asks:
-you could not some explain in other words that at you hangs below a belt?
snachala answered Frantsuz:
-Below a belt at me what I usually give pleasure zhenshchinam.
potom hangs Amerikanets:
-Below a belt at me answered what I give pleasure sebe.
i at last hangs Gruzin:
-Below a belt at me answered the dagger hangs, and that that at those two hangs, at me usually costs!

*****

In one of the Caucasian towns holiday. Dances the people. The Dzhigit also addresses to one of standing par
podkhodit the man to kavaleru:
-, allow to invite your beauty on tanets.
-NET.
-your queen...
-Is not present. It with vozmushcheniyem:
- And why you address to it? I and itself can solve! Muzhchina:
- And you shut up, shit when two Dzhigits talk!

*****

In one Georgian rural school sent the young teacher for practice. through
nekotoroye time she notices that in its 1st class one pupil persistently ne
poseshchayet school. Decided to descend to it home. In the distant aul found it dom.
zakhodit. On a question that with your son, whether he got sick old aksakal
otvechayet:
-It the parasite already brought two two, so I killed him to devil's mother.

*****

In a hairdressing salon the Georgian shaves the man, and on a floor for the Georgian the cat goes. Man: - I see
Ya at you and the cat the scientist is?
-Nat! He ne the scientist - it waits for an ear!.

*****

In the crowded Moscow bus the Frenchwoman incidentally comes to the Georgian na
nogu: - Sorry, msye.
-Kaneshno, I want!

*****

In the train the Englishwoman in seductive mini-юбке.
Армянин from the top shelf devours it glazami.
vidya attention, so fixed to herself, anglichanka
koketnichayet. That will approach a mirror a hairdress will correct,
TO on the shelf will move a suitcase. But the Armenian is silent and,
znay to himself, devours the Englishwoman with the eyes. That somehow razryadit
obstanovku Englishwoman asks:
-Do You speak English?
armyanin otvechayet:
-Vakh! I want Koneshn!

*****

In the train "Moscow-Tbilisi" in a sleeper two - Russian and gruzin.
proshlo two hours of a way. Boredom. The Georgian offers:
-Darling, let's play riddles. For each correct answer - fifty rubles. The Russian agreed. The Georgian of
sprosil:
-From where I go?
-From Moskvy.
-is correct. rubley.
-Where I go to fifty?
-B Tbilisi.
-is correct. rubley.
-To whom I go to fifty?
-K zhene.
-is correct. rubley.
-Why I go to fifty? The Russian thought-suspected and speaks:
-Razvoditsya.
-five hundred rubley.
-For what five hundred?!
-For good idea!

*****

At restaurant the Georgian submits to the waiter the hundred-ruble note. The waiter vnimatelno
razglyadyvayet the note and asks:
- And why Lenin in a cap?
-A at us in Georgia everything walk in caps.

*****

At restaurant the Caucasian approaches musicians and speaks:
-Sing me pesnyu, about kata.
-What, "A black cat"?
-NET.
-Can "A cat greyish"?
-NET.
-A what? Napoyte.
-mene you pazavt Kat...

*****

At restaurant Givi sits. On a table at it binge, snack, on a lap -
shikarnaya the blonde. The friend of Givi:
-Vi, Givi enters the hall, you have an ulcer! The doctor forbade all this to you!
-you Will think, the doctor! I gave it $300, so he again allowed everything to me!

*****

At restaurant the Georgian with the girl sits. The man approaches and asks it to dance s
nim. Gruzin:
-Is not present: I sing it, I feed it, I also will dance it.

*****

At restaurant (1) Georgian from the Russian (d) an evushka sits. (2) another approaches gruzin:
(2): Daragy, allow to invite yours the girl to dance, huh? (1): Nat. (2):
daragoy, allow to invite yours krasavyets to dance, huh? (1): Nat. (2): Daragy,
razreshi to invite yours a karalev to dance, huh? (d): And why you me ne
sprosite, I can I will agree? (2): And you be silent, a creature dvuzhopy when dzhigity
razgavaryvayut!

*****

In restorane:
-Shchto is will be?
-Shashlik!
-of Harashcho!
-of Char-grilled chicken!
-of Zameshchatelno! Kharcho
-!
-is fine!
-Fruit!
-of Tozhe is quite good!
-of Dvesti red and to a butylk of the dry!
-of Prasta, daragy, but is only markovny cutlets and tea … you ne told at once Shchto's
-?
-Is beautiful gavarit!

*****

In Sochi near restaurant there was well dressed, beautiful, magnificent lady. Gruzin
reshil to get acquainted with it. Approached on the left side and speaks:
- The Young lady, what good weather today! But the young lady is silent and does not look on nego.
togda the Georgian came on the right side and speaks:
- And yesterday what there was a bad weather, there was a rain... But the lady on former molchit.
togda the Georgian came speredi.
- And how you think what will be weather tomorrow?
-Leave alone me! I am a prostitute, but not the weather forecaster...

*****

- Valiko!
-Yes daragoy!
-You shchto such grusny?
-take away the Wife in army: (
-of Valiko, will turn out, you have a wife - the man?!
-of Shchto you! What man?! Absolutely boy and!?

*****

- Something good is Vano, in me?
-Is, but I will take out soon.

*****

- Vano, you sleep?
-Splyu.
-A that it at exchange in a bottom?
-of Vi! Now to a vinim!
-Ya Tib Vinimu, sleep give!

*****

- Platoon! On an order raschitays!
-First... The second... The third... The fourth...
pyaty... The sixth... The seventh... VOSEM!
-Three circles on stadium run march!
...
-Platoon! On an order of numbers raschitays!
-First... The second.

*****

Military Georgian road. There is a Georgian GAI officer, stops the Russian on zaporozhtse.
-Vee hung up skorost, write explanatory on Georgian yazyke.
-So after all I on Georgian am not able... chego ne I know
-, write explanatory and all. The Russian sat, thought thought, time and on a leaf to a pyater laid out. The Georgian posmotrel:
- And you speak on Georgian ne umeesh, already wrote a half...

*****

The Caucasian from Africa with safari.
nu comes back, fellows villager give him rassprashivat:
-Where was and what saw?
-Saw zebra.
- And what is it?
-Well, let us assume, a donkey know? Here same,
tolko white strip, black strip i
ves takoy.
-Vakh!! And still that saw?
-Giraffe videl.
- And it that? Well a donkey you know
-? Same, only sheya
dlinny-dlinnyy.
-Vakh!! And still?
-Boa videl.
- And it as? The Donkey saw
-? Well and so, x-y is, and the donkey is not present...

*****

War between Armenia and Azerbaijan. Azerbaijanians of the Armenian caught and davay
pytat him is where supposedly yours... (it is said by a rough deep voice with harakternym
aktsentom...)
-Budish gavaryt? We will Feed
-NET.
-, it is better than a gavara!
-NET.
-is fine. Hey, Mahomed, well put to him...
-...
-Budish gavaryt?
-is NOT PRESENT.
- Mahomed, put to it still...
-......
-BUDISH GAVARYT?
-is NOT PRESENT!
-MAHOMED!.
-...
-BUDISH GAVARYT, SABAKA, PASLEDNYY RAS is ASKED?!!?!
-DA, DA...
-GAVARY.
-O-O-O! I am LUBLU TEBYa, MAHOMED!

*****

- At the station near a booth muzhchina
kavkazskoy vneshnosti:
- The Girl, give the book about a cat! What
-else cat, Matroskin, perhaps?
-Well, you have "Kot da Vinci".

*****

Question: - What to the Georgian to make that his member became dyne of 23 cm?
otvet: - To put it twice.

*****

Here it is worth meaning the Georgian on the street and frigs, the zhenschina approaches and Muzchina speaks tak:
-! Same onanism! =8-O
gruzin ey:
-What mechanism? {: - O All in manual. Otoyda! Schach will scatter....

*****

Two meet gruzina:
-I saw such the girl Yesterday! A shelter with milk! zhe you it saw
-of Gde?
-of Vishl from shop with a carton of milk, spotknulas, also fell face down on the sidewalk...

*****

Two meet gruzina:
-Oh, Givi if you saw my new car! What
-A it colors?
-Well, imagine the sun at sunset. Here same, only the green!

*****

Two meet gruzina.
-Givi, here to you desit rubles - hang up to yourself curtains on windows - I cannot look, your wife to you mint every evening
kak does! To
-of Gogi, here you twenty rubles - buy the field-glass and look whose is the wife...

*****

Two meet gruzina:
-Givi, I heard you bought the plane?
-Yes, bought. It very much udobno.
- And How much is it?
-Five million!
-Vakh! What money! Same the whole month it is necessary to work!