Jokes about peoples

Read funny Jokes about Caucasians

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Two Georgians meet. One and speaks:
-Vano, dreamed me a bad dream!...
- The Man with the man?
-Nat, huzhe...
-of Zhenshiyn from the zhenshyny?
-Nat, huzhe... I and I!

*****

Two Georgians meet. One speaks:
-Well, Gogi, settled? With
-Nat, I work so far...

*****

Two Georgians meet. One speaks: To
I nevertheless of a zhenshyn, it as a plate - once you will listen, at times already ne it is interesting.
drugoy answers:
zachem so govorysh? Once listened to a plate - turn and listen further!

*****

Two meet gruzina:
-Gogi, daragy as you live, how are you doing? Yes listen to
-, Givi, in any way!
-of Vikhodit is bad? That is not present
-! Vikhodit well, comes badly!

*****

Two Georgians and one another asks:
-Sushay, daragy, you not znaish to a pachim at Gogi such hair fluffy meet? So he washes
-with their eggs!
-In, the acrobat!

*****

Two Georgians meet. To one another speaks:
-Gogi, misfortune!
-That happened, Vano?
-my wife in army zabirayut.
- And unless it at you the man? - Gogi.
-is perplexed Is not present! What man?! Boy absolutely.

*****

Two Georgians meet. Speaks to one another: - Listen, Vano,
Ya I come the lady, a khachapuri yesterday, I look -
Wife lies, a khachapuri, with other Georgian, hachapuri.
hu, I took it, a khachapuri, and killed, hachapuri.
-Listen, Gogi, and and here a khachapuri?
-As and, Russians have a pancake, we have a khachapuri.

*****

Two meet gruzina.
-Katz, gde your father? That "roof" covers
-Turma.
-?
-Nat, nutr.

*****

Two meet gruzina.
-Katso, you heard? Yesterday paralyzed Giv, all left storona.
-As? I saw it yesterday! Tell - as?
- At first left a hand, then left a foot, then in general all left storona.
- And that from it... male pride?
-Managed to throw...

*****

Two meet gruzina.
-Hi! Let's drink! That we will drink
-? That do we have
-A?
-Yes here, "Rkatsiteli".
-"Rkatsiteli"?! Hurrah!
PYYUT is three days, there is a mountain of bottles. Prochukhivayutsya.
-That to drink bude today?
-Yes wons, "Tsinandali".
-"Tsinandali"?! Hurrah!
opyat drink three days. Prochukhivayutsya.
-Well, what we will drink today?
-Yes nothing bolshe.
- And in a corner there are full butylki.
-Yes same we nassali.
-"Mynassali"?! Hurrah!!!

*****

Two meet gruzina:
-Sushay, Gogi, you that such happy?
-of Sushay, daragy, eldest son zhinilsya! Zhina - a krasavisa! I - tear up! Younger syn
-tears up, the grandfather - tears up, little Saliko know? - too tears up! Through nekotoroye
time meet snova:
-Sushay, Gogi, this is indecent, you that such happy?
-of Sushay, daragy, younger son zhinilsya! Zhina - a krasavisa! I - tear up! The senior syn
-tears up, the grandfather - tears up, little Saliko know? - too tears up! Still through
nekotoroye time:
-Wai, Gogi, what sluchilas? So sad Shto, vnatur?
-of Vi, daragy, grief, Wai! Daughter zahusband vishla! husband - a zver! - tears up me! The son's
starshego - tears up! Younger - tears up! - tears up Dedushka! Small Saliko
znayesh? - died nafig!

*****

Two acquaintances meet, whether one at another asks:
-know how process where had legal proceedings the Lak with the Armenian ended? I Know
-. The prosecutor of 10 years was given.

*****

Meet in the near abroad two old znakomykh.
-Asal aleykum!
-Aleykum asaly!
-of Shchto tavno did not fidet you, how bodies?
-of Vi-vay, I bought the car, predstavlyaishch.
-That is and, and what car?
-Oh - fight of haroshchiya the car - Folga zavetsya.
-That is and, and what light?
-of O-au such is more beautiful light, a phot color morning a dawn snaishch?
-A- And, kanezhn...
-of Photos precisely same, only the green...

*****

The Russian, the Georgian and the Armenian meet somehow and argued who for time can lift more buckets with water. Well, Russian speaks:
-I for time can lift 2 buckets: one in the left hand, another in pravoy.
- And I can 3 for time, - the Armenian speaks, - on one in each hand and one on h@y.
- And I 5 will lift at once for time, - the Georgian speaks.-?!
-On one in each hand and the Armenian on h@y.

*****

Highly in mountains the flock of sheep was grazed. Highly in the sky over a flock the proud eagle soared. Suddenly the eagle stooped down down,
vonzil claws in the biggest ram and flew up with it in the high sky. But here the shot was distributed, and the proud eagle of
NA the earth fell, and the ram continued flight. So we will drink for that eagles did not shoot, and rams did not fly!

*****

There is in the morning a Georgian to a balcony of the rural house.
cmotpit - the rooster here - a chicken tramples down...
cypanyl to it grains... The rooster from a chicken of tears and
-Vakh, Vakh, Vakh rushed to peck grain...! Ne God grant so to be starving! - with a sigh says
gruzin 8-O...

*****

There is a Georgian Zaporozhets, looks at wondering faces of people i
vzryvayetsya around: Well ustavylys? Poor Georgian ne videla yes?

*****

There is a Georgian on a beach water, and at it - the member is lower than a knee. All laugh,
paltsem show... And it and speaks:
-That laugh? At you it would so be wrinkled! :(

*****

Leave Armenians (And.) with the Georgian () from restaurant. And. hits the cloakroom attendant 50 rubley:
-Back it is not necessary! Gives 100 rubley:
- The Coat is not necessary!

*****

The Georgian comes by train Tbilisi-Moscow to the capital. Leans out from okna
vagona and opet:
-Nosylshchiki! Nosylshchiki!
hosilshchiki run, y it there the freight half of car think. And gpyzin:
-to you privet from Tbilisky nosylshchik!!!

*****

The Georgian suits to devyshke:
-to Devushka, on you sits mykh.
-He on you, and on vas.
-As, already on I rumple? On I rumple
-He, and on me.
-As, already again on you? Ooh what bright flies!

*****

Georgian school. Change. B an office of the director rushes zavych:
-Direktor, direktor, det ishchak nasyluyut there... What
-A of color ishchak?
-White ishchak, white...
dipektop calls zavxoza:
-E, Mikho, chey y us white ishchak there?
3avxoz chtoto speaks to it on yxo. The director - zavychy:
-E, not volnuytes you, white it detsky...

*****

Georgian feast. Traditional toasts are ended, the host declared svobodnyy
stol. Rises odin:
-I want to drink for Gogi. He is the real man: he can drink two litpa
vina; he can oversleep with two zhenshchinami; and he can revenge for the brother!
vypili. Rises dpygoy:
-I want to drink for Mikho. He is the real man: he can drink three litpa
vina; he can oversleep with three zhenshchinami; and he can revenge for the brother!
vypili. Rises tpetiy:
- And I want to drink... for Vladimir Ilyich Lenin!
-???????????????? Zh8-((((????????
-Ya I do not know (all), how many wine it could vypit; I do not know, with how many women on
mog pepespat; HO KAK OH REVENGED FOR the BROTHER!

*****

The Georgian at restaurant admires novyy "crusts" of the candidate nauk.
ofitsiant maliciously sppashivayet:
-That, just bought?
-Vakh! Zachem strashivaesh! Zachem at once: Kupil! Druzzya podaril!!

*****

The Georgian () decided to train the dog (C). Threw a stick and govopit:
() - Prinesi, huh?
sobaka brought. Threw still paz:
() - Prinesi, huh?
opyat brought. And so time fifteen...
EShchE of times bposil:
() - Prinesi, huh?
(C) - Slyushay, got, huh?

*****

The Georgian speaks to the son - studentu:
'budesh perfectly to study, I will buy tebe white Volga!
budesh to study well, I will buy teba black Volga! You will badly study
A, I will buy tebe red Volga - to ezdit
budesh as the fool!!'

*****

The Georgian arrived from Moscow and passkazyvayet:
-Put ours expensively to Soso in the mausoleum. Lies. I look, not one lezhit.
podkhozhu, I consider, I cannot understand who lies nearby. Vsmatpivayus:
tak same its award of Lenin in natural size!

*****

The Georgian in the train decided to pee, exposed in a window and waters. Starichek iz
sosednego kupe a crutch - shvark! Gpuzin:
-Wai!!! And knew, shito ab I will touch a column!

*****

The Georgian got to some I reign there, and the tsar told him that if he will put out an eye of a dragon and will bang sweaty
negpityanku, will receive in the wife it the beauty the daughter well and half of цаpства it is natural. The Georgian approaches draconian
peshchere, comes, in a minute terrible cries and groans are distributed. There is a Georgian somewhere in 15 minutes and speaks:
"Well where this sweaty Black woman of whom I have to put out an eye!?"

*****

The GAI officer in Georgia stops the car, brings a hand k
kozyrku and predstavlyaetsya:
-Inspektor Makharashvili, a salary of 80 rubles, three children, the wife does not work...

*****

The GAI officer tomozit the car. At a wheel the Caucasian. The GAI officer long and fixedly examines him ppava.
-You that, daragoy, think, what I bought them? No. The friend on the date of the birth presented!

*****

- Giv, you love tomatoes? To eat with
-yes, and so - no...

*****

- Gogi, gavarit, you have a wife - the man?!
-of Shchto you! What man?! Absolutely boy and!?

*****

- Gogi, you are a goat!
-Who a goat, I am a goat?! And you 50 times of a trestle!
-Who 50 times of a trestle? It I 50 times of a trestle?! And you mylyon time of a trestle!
-of Skolk? Mylyon of time of a trestle?! And you at all not a goat!
-W

*****

- Gogi, buy from me plant! Such good plant...
-to You that, money are necessary? So I to you so dam.
-Am not present! I will sell plant, I will buy a district committee...

*****

- Gogi, what such wasps?
-Wasps are balshy palasaty flies!
-Nat, Gogi. Palasaty flies is Balshy shmet. And wasps is a straight line, chego
krutyzza Earth around!

*****

- Gogi, you love tomatoes? To eat with
-yes, and so not really...

*****

Gogi argues with the druzyami-dzhigitami:
- And spory, daragy mine that so from you I will hide that will never find, budte
uvereny! Well, all right there argue with it on a bochenok of a haroshev Caucasian vina.
iskali his friends the whole day, and Gogi only appeared happy such in the evening!
druzhki to it: "Ti where beat, daragy?! Mi you was looked for on all restaurants, cafe,
NA a market, at women too looked for! Even to Moscow on a market managed to fly - did not find!
Tak gde you were?
-B to a byblyoteka.

*****

- Gogi, ti not predstavlyaesh, as _trudno_ poteryat to Reng...:-(
-Yes, Vano, prakticheski nevazmozhno...