Jokes about peoples

Read funny Jokes about Dagestani

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In one aeroprta on a bench of expectation sit Troy: Frenchman, American and Dagestani. Suddenly the journalist of
I asks:
-approaches them you could not some explain in other words that at you hangs below a belt?
snachala answered Frantsuz:
-Below a belt at me what I usually give pleasure zhenshchinam.
potom hangs Amerikanets:
-Below a belt at me answered what I give pleasure sebe.
i at last hangs Dagestanets:
-Below a belt at me answered the dagger hangs, and that that at those dvokh hangs at me usually costs!

*****

In the plane Moscow - Makhachkalastyuardessa approaches the commander and speaks:
- At us in salon the Dargwa terrorist with a bomb! He demands
-of That?
-So far anything. Simply sells parachutes.

*****

- Wai Zukhra, look, and to me the sms came! "Patya, you are the most beautiful girl on light!"
-Plays about someone!

*****

The driver Kumyk GIBDDESHNIKU:
- The Commander, release. The point-policeman, thumbing through dokumenty:
-it is not necessary!
-As is not necessary? And on the eighth page?
-A-a-a, is necessary, is free …

*****

Two residents of the country of mountains from hunting come back, bear on a bear crossbeam, the fellow countryman towards advanced asks
pokazyvaya on a bear: - "GRIZLI", to it in reply: - "Vakh why grizzlies, so strangled"

*****

Three Dagestanis married. The first for the American, the second for the Frenchman, the last for the Dagestani. Met through
paru of years, stir, share vpechatleniyami.
amerikanka:
-I told at once the: "Dustin, I the dishes to wash, erase and I will not iron". became angry and I saw its days.
potom bought me the machine which all delayet.
frantsuzhenka speaks:
- The Good fellow, and I too, told at once the husband:" Phil, I to clean, prepares, and I will not erase!". It too
razozlilsya and it after that two days was not. Then brought to me the machine which all delala.
dagestanka speaks:
-Yes, girls, I too so told the husband "The magician, I to clean, erase and I will not iron". He became angry and I did not see its
6 of days. … Only for the seventh days the left eye slightly started seeing.

*****

- Speak, one poor Jew went bankrupt and rushed to Baku from a skyscraper? - And where you saw
neboskreb in Baku? - And where you saw the poor Jew in Baku? :-)

*****

The city beach Makhachkala, coming the girl comes into water, floats, and suddenly someone from under water is enough it. She,
ponyatno, shouts loudly, to the aid zovet.
a to it from under water so it is tender govoryat:
-Ne be afraid, the girl, it mi, tva friends, DELFINY.

*****

Very long time ago in the mountains of Dagestan there was a heavy rain with the thunder-storm, there was a strong thunder, lightnings sparkled there was a hail. That
spryatatsya from a rain and lightnings all Dagestanis hid in one of caves, only one Avar having fun and smiling,
begal on all aul, rejoicing to a thunder and a thunder-storm. To in total it krichat:
-Hey a marula, give zhi rather to us, and that will hit you with a lightning!
Ha that the Avar with happiness in eyes otvetil:
-Le, to a shchiburk to a murk to a burk, tarmazikas, fatagrafirut le, Min.

*****

Dagestan. Judge two boys for beating and rape. The judge asks:
- The First defendant, what you can show on this case? che to show
-A? I sit on a hut, I havat a music, here Kent vvalivayet.
nu we are feet in shuza, a cheburda on shoulders, we scratch - we saw shubaram on asphalt rustling. Lo and behold - the chiksa at the corner is removed.
NU we to it. And it in oblom.
kentu too in a fiasco, it to it in a melon... Also otsharabanit on a hakhalyga. Here whistles to us fell on a tail. We
navostrili ski current - and they us in homut.
i here we tut.
sudya asks the second podsudimogo:
-That you can add to words of the accomplice?
-A che on - empty to click with canines? The dude perkhat the truth!
SUD is removed on meeting. The judge too was the person with concepts and took out such prigovor:
-We from perebaklanila kenta here, a her to a nose priterli; winter - summer, winter - summer, macaroni digest, and there again
NA to havat a hut, a music...

*****

The Dagestani goes to a compartment with neznakomkoy
- The Beauty, - Dag does not maintain. - You ChE are silent? I Want
- And I am silent!.
-Wants and malchyt E! - the Dagestani was surprised.

*****

The Dagestani with the girl silently go to a compartment poyezda.
-Devushka, - the Dagestani does not maintain. - You why are silent? I Want
- And I am silent! - answers ta.
-to Hochet and molchyt! - the Caucasian was terrified.

*****

The Dagestani forgot as there will be in Russian figure 2, and here it is necessary to buy urgently two long loafs, he comes into shop and
speaks: "Three long loaf one it is not necessary!"

*****

The Dagestani comes into the Moscow subway, looks and thinks ….: "A-a-a, here that Moscow area means!".

*****

The Dagestani catches a goldfish. It fear at it asks:
- The Dagestani?
-ZhI is ZhI.
-fry Better!

*****

The Dagestani in shop female belya.
-Show me, please, the biggest pants. So. It's cool. Here phone. When come to buy - let
pozvonyat.

*****

The Dagestani washes in soul and Patya shouts zhene:
-, give yes shampun.
patya to it otvechayet:
- The Magician, there is at you in a hand one bottle with shampoo, why to you still?
-Wa, Patya, you that you do not understand. Here it is written "FOR DRY HAIR", and I already WETTED!

*****

The Dagestani in Moscow goes to a taxi: - Vaakh, slush! What driver! What master! Wa - the woman - le! Slush, what
zarplata at you? Driver: - Well - at, leaves 30000 in a month. Dagestani: - Went to me in Makhachkala. There will be only me
vozit. I will pay 100000! Go on Makhachkala, the Dagestani: - Here on the left Driver: - Here sign "Only
pryamo" Dagestani: - Ouch! I here live 40 years. On the left! At once behind turn "the seller of striped sticks" of
Driver waits: - Well, all. Arrived. Dagestani: - You sit in the car I I will settle everything. Approaches the cop, something speaks,
razmakhivaya hands then the cop takes under a peak and releases them. Driver: - What did you tell it? Dagestani:-I tell
Ya to it: "You know, what the driver of 5 years in the Moscow worked as the taxi driver for me? You that are going to teach its
pravilam?"

*****

The Dagestani with the father and mother comes to the wife in roddom.
smotryat to the child, and it black … speak Synu.
-Mahmoud, why your son the Black??
Алимат told, what on the way to maternity hospital she saw the Black and therefore the child negr.
otets speaks to the zhene
-Ty when to maternity hospital went incidentally a donkey did not see?

*****

The Dagestani at restaurant admires new "crust" of the candidate nauk.
ofitsiant maliciously asks:
-That, just bought, how many rams gave?
-Vakhkh! Zachem strashivaesh! Zachem at once: font! Friends presented!

*****

The Dagestani passes examination in driving of the car, the examiner asks it:

*****

The Dagestani, pushes the wife sideways and govopit:
-with Eeee, make - yes to me a khachapuri? I will make
-He, from what it suddenly?
-A for beautiful eyes?
-Well neet.
- And for the whole teeth!??

*****

The Dagestani pushes the wife sideways and govopit:
-with Eeee, make - yes to me a khachapuri? I will make
-He, from what it suddenly?
-A for beautiful eyes?
-Well neet.
- And for the whole teeth!??

*****

The Dagestan couple have supper. Here the husband beats the wife on golove.
-Well for what?
-that champed!
Wife already hardly chews that the husband once again suddenly unintentionally heard nothing... and the husband again gives it on golove.
-Well the Magician, and now for what?
- The Pancake as I will remember how you champed!

*****

The Dagestan soccer national team won all possible tournaments and in the last tournament in a tank after a victory of
korrespondent approaches the trainer of the national team and asks: in what the secret of your victories, a special secret is not present simply in
napadenii Avars Dargins by their forward break a leg in protection give money and they back leave
lezgin a goal plays goal will hammer a horse-radish will prove.

*****

The Dagestan family, the wife is not in time and asks the husband to take away the child from a kindergarten. In the evening the husband brings the child, the wife of
krichit:
-of Eee, the moron, you whom brought? Same not our child!!!
-What difference, in the morning again to take away!

*****

The Dagestan family, the wife is not in time and asks muzha
zabrat the child from a kindergarten. In the evening the husband brings the child, the wife krichit:
-Eee, the moron, you kogo
privel? Same not nash
rebenok!!! What difference,
utrom again to allocate for
-!!

*****

Dagestan semya:
syn: - Father, I today marshrutchik kinul.
otets: - What did you make?
SYN: - Paid and did not go!

*****

The Dagestan fleas, having heard the Lezgian, trampled a cat to death.

*****

The Dagestan scientists proved that the majority of tablets is in a drugstore!!!

*****

Dreams the Dagestani that his crowd beats, he not in ponyatka wakes up, the next night all the friends of
zovet and with them to go to bed.

*****

Dagestanis, in Russia buying by a chicken a grill always ask: it beef? And that in Russia pork is loved.

*****

The Dargin goes on a market, looks there is an Avar of a rooster prodayet.
-How many the rooster costs?
-8 millionov.
- And that is so expensive!
-Money are very necessary.

*****

Two Dag arrived to France here one of them incidentally pushed around the Frenchman, the Frenchman accurately removes
perchatku and says to it directly, here other Dag speaks: The magician and well still come he can a jacket to us vzgret.

*****

Two Dargins talk:
-Why at elephants of a foot round?
-A not to fail in square yamy.
- And why at elephants of an eye red?
-to mask in tomatoes. Saw elephants in tomatoes?
-NET.
-Cool mask!

*****

Two Avars stand on a bus stop. One waits for a minibus No. 2, and other No. 7. Podezzhayet No. 27. One of Avars: -
O, slyushay, as harasho! Together we will eat!

*****

5 dargiyets and 25 Avars fight. Avars run away, Dargins behind them. Suddenly one "clever" Avar speaks: "Le, che we are
bezhim, them 5, and us-25!" To it: "You che, did not hear, Dargins of one five beat." Run again. Suddenly other Avar:
"Well and che, is more than us. "To it again: "But you do not know whom they will beat..."

*****

2 friends of the Dagestani walk in Paris, here one of them incidentally pushed around to the Frenchman. The Frenchman takes off a
I glove says to him directly, the second friend looks and speaks: The magician the brother that for the boy WITH ALL THE HEART, and well still come to it and,
mozhet it a jacket to us vzgret ZhI is!

*****

Other guy complains that him stirs up in the mornings. Perhaps to the infectiologist? Or to the gastroenterologist? - "No, at me in
glazakh stirs up, mutno I see in the mornings."