Jokes about peoples

Read funny Jokes about Caucasians

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- Gogi Ti you sleep? Da's
-!
-A poshy yours h@y in mine zadnyts?
-of Sechyas vinu.
-I tebe to wine! Give Spa!

*****

- Gogiya, you in what bank store money?
-B three-liter.

*****

Voice in telephone trubke:
-it is possible for Gogy?
-it net.
- Then ask Givi. It peredast.
-That!? WILL TRANSFER Giv!? You WILL TRANSFER!!! And your father was WILL TRANSFER! I
bolshe do not call here, WILL TRANSFER!

*****

The mountain Caucasian republic, the village (the aul, a kishlak or that there at them), through
derevnyu rushes at great speed the car and forces down zameshkavshegosya
porosenka. The car leaves the driver, ogladyvatsya, sees nobody,
podkradyvayetsya, is enough a pig and runs to the car. Having almost reached the car on
slyshit okrik:
-Hey, a muzchyna! Looks back and sees the Georgian () in a papakha, a felt cloak and with the gun v
ruke. () - And ne dialects that you it in balnyets vezosh...

*****

Mountain pasture. On slopes the flock of sheep is grazed. Above on a slope there is a shepherd. In total from themselves - a papakha from astrakhan fur,
belaya the felt cloak, boots chromic, are polished, a yarlyga from expensive tree, with a carving is decorated, with silver is inlaid.
vnezapno is distributed a call of the mobile phone. A flock as one sheep in perplexity watches
VSYa at the shepherd.
TOT unperturbably, slowly climbs in felt cloak depths, gets the mobile phone. "Hallo. Yes" - turning to sheep - "It is
menya!"

*****

The Georgian goes for devyshkoy:
-Devushka, devushka, we will go to the wood I will show round the city...

*****

The Georgian and the Armenian stand in a trade row nearby.
armyanin speaks:
- And Armenians is better, * than * Georgians.
gruzin is silent.
-Armenians is all the same best of all * than * Georgians!
gruzin does not maintain:
-Well * chem * they is better, * chem *?!
-* Chem * Georgians.

*****

The Georgian speaks to the priyatelyu:
-Katso, my son was born! Guess as I called it: the first chast
imeni is a note, the second - the finest part female tela.
-???
-Eh you - SIROZhA!

*****

The Georgian speaks to the son - the student:
"perfectly to study Budesh, I will buy tebe white Volga!
budesh to study well, I will buy teba black Volga! You will badly study
A, I will buy tebe red Volga - You will ezdit on red as the fool!'

*****

The Georgian speaks synu:
- The Son, I tebe "Volga" bought?
-Yes, the father, bought!
-You it razbyl?
-Yes, father, razbyd!
-Son, I tebe still "Volga" kupyl?
-Kupyl!
-You it razbyl?
-Razbyl! Watch
-, the sonny, I buy tebe the third "Volga", you will break, I will dishonor to all Georgia - I will buy Zhiguli"!

*****

The Georgian with the girl silently go to a compartment poyezda.
-Devushka, and the girl, - does not maintain gruzin.
-You why all are silent? I Want
- And I am silent! - answers ta.
-to Hochet and molchyt! - the Georgian was terrified.

*****

The Georgian and Devushka in kafe:
-Devushka, and paydemte sa me in a sauna pamoemsa.
-Well, we are still insufficiently familiar...
-A... Tagda paydemte sa me on yakhte pakataemsa.
-Well... ladno.
gruzin (rubbing hands):
-Aga! Ne mity so katanyy!

*****

The Georgian drives the car. It gaishnik:
-Open for Ostanavliavayet a luggage carrier, please!
-to Dai Adyn one million, but a luggage carrier I do not otkrivat! Open
-! That okryvat a luggage carrier, and there is empty! Gaishnik:
- And what you then offered money to me?
-of Slyushay, ti "Field of miracles" smotrysh? Variation: - E daragy, I wanted with you V
to "Paula-Chudes" to play

*****

The Georgian goes in one compartment with nemkoy.
nemka after a while Shprekhen zi doych asked ego:
-?
gruzin on it otvetil:
-Koneshno I will be, why you ask?

*****

The Georgian zhaluyetsya:
-did not accept, you understand, a picture in the Tretyakov gallery.
-A that on it is drawn?
-of the Mountain are drawn, the river is drawn, the young woman sits ashore, rebenka
grudyyu feeds. Did not accept, you understand, in the Tretyakov gallery: to the child, speak,
goda.

*****

The Georgian comes with the girl into cafe. He is able to speak Russian, and from tsifr
znayet only 1 and 3. Bends to girl:
-That tebe to order? To
-Me, grant a coffee cup. The Georgian, minute podumav:
-Afitsiant, bring cup Torahs kofe, and - mamentalno carry away one!

*****

The Georgian rings a door, for him opens another gruzin:
-Listen, Mysha is?
-of Vano is, Gogh is, Mysha - no!
-Is not present, a mysha - krysin the brother!

*****

The Georgian in the winter at a stop in H-cke:
-bl@d, ebany Sibyr - dve put on fur coats - to-to-as in pants I will melt!

*****

The Georgian goes for devushkoy:
-Devushka, the girl, we will go to the wood I will show round the city...

*****

The Georgian goes with the wife by a drugstore on which doors the emblem - a bowl and zmeya.
gruzin - zhene:
-Vakh hangs, look, mother ice cream eats yours...

*****

The Georgian swam in the sea and suddenly started sinking. Sees - on the coast goes russkiy.
gruzin for fear forgot how in Russian to call to the aid, and oret:
-Hey, paslyushay, pasledny time kupayus - it is offensive and!

*****

The Georgian in shop female belya.
-Show me, please, the biggest pants. So. It's cool. Vot
telefon. When come to buy - let will call.

*****

The Georgian prays. Asks from god that he sent him the car, it is a lot of money,
moloduyu the beautiful mistress. And nearby the torn-off hare strenuously asks, chtoby
vsevyshny sent him a bottle vodki.
-Listen, - the Georgian did not sustain, - do not distract supreme takimi
melochami, - on you on two and be cleaned.

*****

The Georgian in Moscow goes on taksi:
-Vakh, slush! What driver! What master! Wai-Wai! Slush, what salary at you?
Driver:
-Well - at, 500 in a month vykhodit.
gruzin:
-Went to me to Tbilis. Only you will carry me. I will pay 2000!
EDUT across Tbilisi. Gruzin:
-Zdes nalevo.
Driver:
-Here
GRUZIN:
-sign "Only Directly" Ouch! I zdes live 40 years. On the left!
srazu behind turn are waited by "the seller of striped sticks". Driver:
-Well all. Priyekhali.
gruzin:
-You sit in the car, I all ulazhu.
podkhodit to the cop, tell something, swinging hands then the cop takes under a peak and releases them. Driver:
-That you told it? I tell
GRUZIN:
-Ya to it "You know, what at me the driver of 5 years in the Moscow the taxi driver worked? You that, are going to teach its
pravilam?"

*****

The Georgian in Moscow apteke:
"Give me 100 condoms" .
DVE the young girls standing nearby, zakhikhikali.
gruzin looked in their party and dobavil:
"And two more"

*****

The Georgian in one of aptek:
"Give, please, to me hundred condoms" .
TRI the girls standing in a queue, zakhikhikali.
gruzin looked at them and dobavil:
- And three more.

*****

The Georgian writes the letter to the Armenian. Wrote the word "" as"" and nearby drew a bee. And louse. The Armenian understood nothing also
zvonit drugu:
-That you, Gogi, wrote?
-As zhi-louse? - Gogi.
armyanin explains writes the answer. Drew a taxi and a ram. Gogi too understood nothing in the message of the friend and calls to Yerevan.
armyanin answers it on telefonu:
-Gogi, I wrote to you that I live so-si-be.

*****

The Georgian writes the letter domoy:
-Mother, I study at institute. All go on occupations in the bus, I - in taksi.
mat write one to the son otvet:
- The Sonny, why to be allocated? Buy the bus and go, as all.

*****

The Georgian caught the boy and made to it is sick. The boy cries...
-That ti plachysh, malchyk?
-of the Priest hurts!.
-On, dyrzha apylsyn, malchyk, current ny crying, and a nykama ny gavara, The next day the boy finds the Georgian...
-of the Priest hurts!
-On, dyrzha apylsyn, malchyk, current ny crying, and a nykama ny gavara, For the third day the boy again finds the Georgian...
-of the Priest hurts!
-On, dyrzha apylsyn, malchyk, current ny crying, and a nykama ny gavara, Next day the boy again finds the Georgian...
-of the Priest hurts! Gruzin:
-That, I to malchyka ne beat, ny I know, the priest's skoka balyt?!...

*****

The Georgian got to some I reign there, and the tsar told him that if he will prick out glaz
drakonu and will bang the sweaty Black woman, will receive in the wife it the beauty the daughter well i
pol-kingdoms essno. The Georgian approaches a draconian cave, comes, through minutu
razdayutsya terrible cries and groans. There is a Georgian somewhere in 15 minutes i
speaks: "Well where this sweaty Black woman of whom I have to put out an eye!?"

*****

The Georgian resorts to doktoru:
- The Doctor!!! At me is with the member of a problem!!!
-OK, undress, we will look....
gruzin undresses.... the doctor looks and speaks:
- At you, unambiguously, AIDS!!!
-Vakh, doctor!!! what sleeps????? DIED ABSOLUTELY!!!!

*****

The Georgian brought the son at the sea. The son did not see before the sea. There are they on beregu
morya and razgovarivayut.
-Here, a sinok, it - more!
-of Gde, father?!
-Pram pered you, sinok!
-of Gde? Ne vizhyu! Da's
-here! (Tychet directly before itself)
-of Gde?!!? Da VOT'S
-! HERE! HERE! (The son's beret by the scruff also dips several times in water).
-Oh, the father, shchto it beat, and?!!?!!? (Having stared)
-MORE!
-GDE?!!?!

*****

The Georgian () comes to England and the customs officer (T) helps to fill to it customs deklaratsiyu.
(T): Sex?
(G):?. Four times a day!
(T):?!. Men or Women?
(G): All the same - four times a day!

*****

The Georgian comes by train Tbilisi-Moscow in stolitsu.
vysovyvayetsya from a window of the car and oret:
-Nosylshchiki! Nosylshchiki!
nosilshchiki run, think at it the freight half of car there. And gruzin:
-to you hi from Tbilisky nosylshchik!!!

*****

The Georgian arrived from Moscow and tells: "Put our dear Soso v
mavzoley. Lies. I look, not one lies. I approach, I consider, I cannot understand,
kto lies nearby. I peer: so same its Order of Lenin in naturalnuyu
velichinu!"

*****

The Georgian brings in patent bureau three bricks and a piece syra.
-Here, a mousetrap!
-A as works?
-Here!
stavit two bricks upright, on them a perekladinka the third, inside puts syr.
(shows)
- The mouse Comes sees cheese, tells "VAKH, what piece of cheese!"

*****

The Georgian comes to doktoru:
- The Doctor!!! I have a member as a mad horse!!!! Da's
-?!?!?!?! And how it is shown?
-Ya to it I shout STOP!!!! and it is not necessary!!!!

*****

The Georgian comes to the doctor and the member on stol:
-Eh spreads, the doctor, look!
-On what complain?
-Is not present, you look! What is the matter?
-Yes you look at
-, what handsome! The doctor home also told
prishel about the Georgian to the wife. In couple of days that comes to the doctor and speaks:
-Eh, the doctor, well and a boltunishka you!

*****

The Georgian comes to reception, the young woman doctor asks that at it. He tells,
chto something in a bottom, takes off trousers, bends down: Dock: - Oh, and you there rose... GRU:
- And it - to you.