Jokes about women

Read funny Jokes about women

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The girl asks at parnya:
- And in you there is a highlight?
-Yes in me is full of them! I it is possible to tell - cake.

*****

- The girl, you strike? Oh, my God, about what it I. Girl, what is your name?
-IPA.
-Ipa, you strike?

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- Girl, what phone at you?
-Motorola.
-Is not present, I mean number?
-Federalnyy.
-Well, figures what?
-Arab.

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- The girl you from school?
-Still what!

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The girl whispers, being given on back sitting of the six-hundredth mersa:
-to me to spit on this luxury! To me to spit on this money! To me to spit on this car! To me to spit that you rich, and I from Uryupinsk!
muzhik pykhtya:
- And me to spit! I am a driver!

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Devushka:
-Here now I will go somewhere, I will get acquainted with any guy and I will be given him in the first day znakomstva.
paren:
-Idi... You zadolbat
devushka:
-, cannot pleasantly make at least once??!!! To tell: You that, a sheep, akh*et, I to you e*at I will break!

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Girls! If you lost hope to find the guy in life - go to the Internet, all of them there!

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Girls, be not upset if you have a small breast. Still guys with small palms were not translated!

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The little girl leaves the guy, things collects. It it asks:
-That happened?
-my friends told Me that you pedofil.
-U-u-u what you know words in 12 years!!!

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- What do you do when you cannot fall asleep? I consider
-of Sheep...
-Ha! and I ex-girlfriends! It I also meant
-.

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- The child, we will go, I will treat you martini.
-I have a guy, leave!
-U you is the guy? And I have an apartment, the car, and a heap of bucks! The girl why you cry?
-Ya just left the guy.

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Dialogue in ocheredi:
- The Girl, you is married?
-Is not present, I here for this man!

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- Expensive, you love me?
-Of course, road! Change you will forgive to
-A? Of course, darling, I to the dead will forgive all to
-...

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Dear girls to get rid of importunate sticking on the street, on question :
"you that do tonight?" dared otvechayte:
"to me at 3:00 to the venereologist, an I is free then!"

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- Forgive to darling, I offended you yesterday. Two bottles of beer will make my amends?
-vodka Box! At
-Oh you, would look @@, what vulnerable!

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- The daughter, you ate all pelmeni???
-Yes, papochka.
- The Good fellow, the BOUGH - ALL IN MOTHER!!!

*****

The daughter comes back home at daybreak. Meets her angered mamasha:
-Where you were all night long?!
Ha dances... Of a foot all are scratched by
-A of that?
OB tanks, mother, scratched...
Silly woman! Where you found tanks in our village?
Ha shoulder straps mother, on shoulder straps...

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– Your daughter agrees to become my wife!
-You Are guilty. why went to us every evening?

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Goes the girl in the bus means and tries to insert a talonchik into a puncher, but the bus shivers and it is impossible to her. Here the bus stops on the traffic light and suddenly the man gets up and speaks: "The girl, give I to you I will insert costs so far".

*****

I go by the tram and there is an astounding little girl (D) nearby. Here two guys come, one (P) saw it, estimated and speaks:
(P) - These feet and me on shoulders...
(D) - And to stsat, you will not choke yet!!!

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If your girl ceased to do an epilation, so it, except you, does not have anybody.

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If the woman says to the man that he the cleverest, - means, understands that she will not find such fool any more.

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If the guy looks for the girl with feet from ears, he has to be ready to that she, perhaps, will have
ruki from an ass and she will think boobs.

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If you invited the girl to dance, and she agreed, do not rejoice: in the beginning you after all should dance.

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If the bride escaped from you.....
. that is not known to whom it was lucky! :)

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Female logika:
-Hi! You missed me?
-NET.
- Then you are not glad to see me?

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The woman takes away everything from the man, even his surname.

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The woman takes offense at the man in two cases: when to it from it only one i
kogda is necessary to it from it it is necessary nothing.

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The woman tells podruge:
-my husband - the artist avant-gardist, and we perfectly get on with it: in the morning he paints pictures, and I make a lunch. And in the afternoon we guess that at whom it turned out.

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Once upon a time there was a girl. And it constantly confused contraceptive tablets to the soothing. And now it has ten children, but it does not excite her at all.

*****

The catering manager saw in kitchen young pozharnika:
-That he does here?
-Watches that meat did not burn down, - the young cook did not become puzzled.

*****

Entry in the daily log devushki:
1. Hysterics to mine muzhu.
2. To do some shopping.

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Hello, my name is Ania! I did thirty years manicure to men. But only yesterday learned that it not manicure …

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- You know, Lyusya if I was on your place, I would give myself...

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- What is your name? Where you work with
-Roza.
-A?
-B banke.
-As is romantic! A rose in bank!

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And still jokes about lovely women and girls, of course the most charcoal

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And nevertheless agree that the spring congratulation of young girls s
nastupayushchim Women's Day contains a certain ambiguity...

*****

There is a girl on a disco, and mother her in a dogonka govopit
- There to you boys will be pristovat so you ask a pier them As that we will call the baby?
-is fine mamenka.
ppikhodit it on a disco, the first approaches it, and it emu:
-Kak the baby, we will call?
papen confusedly leaves. Soon another approaches. And it to it as the baby that we will call a tozhe5
-Ha?
smushchayetsya also leaves. Suddenly the drunk man is enough it, bears in a dark corner and there has... It having recovered the breath (remembering words of mother): As the baby that we will call
-?
papen, twisting ppezepvativ:
-If will get out, David Kopperfild.

*****

There is a beautiful girl on a dark and dark alley. And here it on the way has a man with big nozhom:
-Quickly get all the money! This robbery!
TUT suddenly from round the corner appear two huge bodyguards of this "victim". One of them, strictly shaking the gun, speaks grabitelyu:
-Take off clothes! This rape!