Jokes about women

Read funny Jokes about women

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- Marry me. - Well, It agrees! And silence... - Well, you more than anything will not tell me, the road? - Yes I and so already, apparently, superfluous pi @@ anut.

*****

- Galya, well if I in a week to myself will find nobody a, it is possible I will come to eat a borsch?
-of Any borsch, bring down from here that my eyes did not see you!
-Galya, well if I in two weeks to myself will find nobody a, it is possible I w

*****

- They say that girls love ears...
-That?
-Ears, I tell, love!
-That?
-of Idi home, frigid!

*****

- Give me please, two tickets, on places for potseluyev.
- The Young man, we have a horror film!
-of Anything, I from the awful.

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The lady asks the friend:
-As you think why men turn gray before women? Because you have
-only one ovum, and we have 10 million spermatozoa. And for everyone the soul hurts!

*****

Two girlfriends speak by phone. One - drugoy:
-Heard, what my brother zhenitsya.
- And how it - beautiful?
-Is not present, terrible, but it a mote from it sduvayet.
- The Nightmare and it also the dusty!

*****

Two in postele:
-Darling I at you the first?
-Well of course, darling. Here that I cannot understand Ho in any way, so it why you men always ask this foolish question.

*****

- Girl, girl and how old are you? At once also you will not give
-30
-A. I Will give
-, I will give.

*****

The girl asks at mamy:
-Mam, and who such bl@d?
Oh, daughter! It VERY MUCH, VERY bad AUNT!!!
More terribly than baba-yaga?
More terribly!!!
More terribly than fright?
More terribly than fright!
devochka runs to the room swinging hands and posing a rozhu
-Baabushkaa, I blyayayayayayayayad!!!

*****

- Girls, me my husband made e-mail! So write: "the wife a dog of life a point is not present".

*****

- Girls, and I to myself pierced a navel in four places recently. - Well now you can insert safely there ringlets and hang up curtains.

*****

- The girl, I know, after all you wait for the prince on a white horse long ago?
-Yes.
-Well here. I prishyol.
-Abruptly, and where prince?

*****

The girl, I know, after all you wait for the prince on a white horse long ago?
-Yes.
-Well here. I prishyol.
-Abruptly, and where prince?

*****

The girl at gadalki:
-two guys, Petya and Vasya are in love With me, tell to whom from them will carry? Having stretched
gadalka karty:
-Will carry to Petya, you will marry Vasya...

*****

The girl speaks parnyu:
-Wan, you such clever, resourceful! You know so many stories, with you so interestingly always!
-Mash... yes I normal, it is simple you the silly woman!

*****

- The girl, give yours telefonchik.
-See, what nimble. It that, love at first sight?
-See, what romantic. This robbery!

*****

- The girl, what you do tonight?
-Abortion!

*****

The girl calls to the guy by telephone and speaks:
- At me today parents left for giving, come to me.
- And what we at you will do?
-Well, we will drink a bottle vina.
- And then?
-we Will include a myzuka and we will switch off svet.
- And further that we will do? We Will dance
- And we will lay down in postel.
- And what?
-As that? Let's make love till the morning!
-Everything, a hint understood. I leave.

*****

The girl calls the guy on the mobile. Devushka:
-Hi, where are you?
PAREN:
-Hi, I go to a dermatovenereal clinic. To come for you?

*****

- The girl, you know the murderer Lermontov?
-you that, for the silly woman hold me? I know that Lermontov not the murderer, but the Great Russian writer!

*****

The girl plays billiards. Long, slowly aims, but misses, and a cue, having jumped up, from everything to scope gets to a bum to the man standing near a table. Devushka:
-Oh, the man, forgive for God's sake, I wanted on spheres!

*****

The girl from an intelligent family enters the institute to other city. In a month it is called mama:
-by the Daughter, how you there? Speak at you there students drink, smoke, use drugs, zanimayutsya
besporyadochnym sex, enter in religious sekty.
dochka, udivlenno:
-RELIGIOUS SECTS???
zagruzka...

*****

- Girl, what stunning legs! Where you studied karate?

*****

The girl at cash desk in a supermarket punches 1 carton of milk, 1 tube of paste, 1 toothbrush...
molodoy paren-kassir:
-You, probably, live alone?
devushka, confusedly: - And how you guessed?
paren: - Yes you terrible pi @@ ets...

*****

- The girl, you love dry wine? Fill
-, eloquent!

*****

- The girl, I can teach you to art of love... How many money you intend to spend
-I for my education?...

*****

- Girl! And it is possible your photo?
-A that I such beautiful?
-Is not present, I bring together Pokemons!

*****

- The girl, it is possible I will sit with you nearby, to me it is so lonely in this world... Be cleaned by
-, the rascal, is a female toilet!

*****

- You have a girl, probably, a rich family tree?
-Yes, you so to a dumata?
-Well, on the bough course in the fifth generation.
zagruzka...

*****

The girl goes on an underground perekhodu.navstrechu the huge man with widely divorced hands at night. The girl in an otchaniye is enough a brick and throws in muzhika.
razdayetsya a ring of glass and vopl:
-E. $ $ $.t!!! The third glass to the house I cannot inform!

*****

- You the guy have a girl?
-NET.
-As?! Such beautiful, clever, distinguished girl also has no guy?
-Died, a reptile, from happiness!

*****

You the guy have a girl? No... How? Such clever, distinguished, sexy girl has no guy?!
Died, a bough, from happiness.

*****

- The girl, you very much were pleasant to me. Marry me! Do not want? And why? Wait for the prince on a white horse? In marriage for a horse?! Yes, it is very original!

*****

Devushka:
-I am similar to a picture in the museum. It am pleasant to all but that it is necessary to take home a lot of money.

*****

- The girl, you are so beautiful in this evening dress!
-Man, you that okhrenel? Close a door!

*****

The girl comes in advertizing agentstvo:
-From me the model will turn out?
-Is not present, only an identikit.

*****

The girl has interview at employment,
I uznayet:
-you suit us. So how many you had on a former place? milliona.
- Then I with pleasure will offer
-Two to you tri.
-But with pleasure I had five there!

*****

- The girl, and you incidentally do not love cheese?
-Is not present!
-Well is necessary, such rat and cheese does not love!

*****

- You juice have a girl?
-Juice "Ya" is good? Well give to
-"Buttock"...