Jokes about peoples

Read funny Jokes about Caucasians

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- What is the superinduction?
-It when the Armenian will knock with the member on a cable column, and on telegrafnoy
stantsii the telegraph operator will become pregnant.

*****

Tbilisi. Airport. Landing aboard the plane. The elderly Georgian with baranom
podmyshkoy climbs to a ladder. Styuardessa:
- The Citizen with a ram is impossible!
-of Poslyushay daragy, what ram? The ram in Moscow in MIU studies, and it magarych!

*****

The telephonist in practice, on negotiation in Tashkent. The Uzbek s
oformlennym the form of the telegram, but written by a pencil approaches. ONA:
-Lead round ink. The Uzbek goes with the form to a table in a hall, dips a finger v
chernilnitsu and leads round them round the form a solemn frame. Comes back. ONA:
- The Man I asked to lead round ink. ON:
-So here - with...

*****

The Georgian sinks. On the coast there is a Russian, the Georgian tries to call him, and so kak
russky knows badly, begins orat:
-Ey, the man, I water drink! Also drink
-Hu to yourself! The
Male, I many water drink! Drink
-Hu, me that what business? The
Male, I to live I will remain here!

*****

The Georgian trading in the market shouts after leaving girl:
-Devushka, and the girl! Turn - I will give ruble... Wai! Turn away - ladies five...

*****

The tourist goes across Sukhumi, reads vyveski.
potom asks one Abkhazian dolgozhitelya:
-Why at you all names on "And" begin?
-A it knows a horse-radish!

*****

At the Georgian the wife gives birth in maternity hospital. It comes tuda:
-Skazhyte, May of Reng Rodyl?
-Yes.
-Maljchyk?
-NET.
-A who!?

*****

At the Georgian the son was born. The gathered friends discuss,
kem it will be when grows. One says that the general ("look kakoy
vzglyad sharp"), another - the scientist ("look, what head big")...
trety speaks: "No, the president will be! Look, weigh - from feet to the head ?
г###е and as the head it is proud holds!"

*****

At the Georgian the son was born. Here he also asks the druga.
-Guess as I called the son. The first syllable - a note, the second - most prekrasnyy
chast female bodies. - I do not know. - Ah you, SIROZhA.

*****

At the Georgian sprashivayut:
-What most favourite bird?
-Arol!
-Why?
-Nose krasyvay!

*****

Asked the Georgian "That such happiness?": - When you go on the dark street, and v
kontse costs a devushchk, the priest - mm!, ripe peach! "And grief?": - When ides: you eat po
temnoy to the street, and at the end there is a crowd of men, and you have a bottom - mm!, spelyy
persik!

*****

At the Dagestani the wife gives birth in maternity hospital. It comes tuda:
-Tell, my wife gave rise?
-Yes.
-Boy?
-HET.
-A who?! belay

*****

We have a stop - Rodina movie theater. About it and a joke. Two gruzina
edut in an avotbus. Approaching the stop stated above, one addresses k
drugomu:
-of Slyushay, you at the Homeland vikhodit?
-(turning around, with insult) And the handsome, huh?

*****

At pamyatnika:
-Ai, what beautiful Armenian! Absolutely young died!
-Well you, same Pushkin, Russian poet! What
-Pushkin, what Russian!? You do not see - nadpis:
gazon it is SOWED.

*****

At the Georgian son session approaches. The Georgian father naputstvuyet:
-If you will hand over on five - I will buy you black "Volga", on four - white, on three -
seruyu, and you will go by gray "Volga", as the fool!

*****

There goes Vano to Moscow. Dato before the ot'ezdy gives it $50000 and prosit:
"Slyushay, daragy, now in fashion color Bardo, buy me everything for a myuzhchina tsveta
bardo... "
prokhodit some time, Dato calls Vano from Moskvy.
" Slyushay, daragy, all Tib a font... A suit from Cardin - Bardo, a tie ot
diora - Bardo... [heap of prechisleniye]... I come into salon - and there - tozhe
bardo ordered Mercedes - specially Tib recoloured... Absolutely there are at you no your dollars,
but savsem all Bardo! "
" Vi, Vano, Wai thanks! You to me as the brother, as the father, come a lamb kushat
budem... "
" Pagadi, Dato, I forgot to ask - Bardo is zhelty, huh?"

*****

Old Vano died...
VOT lies it in a coffin at death's door. All his relatives, friends gathered...
RECH over a grave of the friend tells to Gogi Mechmeladze.
(it is said with a sincere anguish, we cry also freight. accent) Vano's
-, here you lie lifeless on the edge of a crude grave, and here your wife... She cries, sobs, misses
tebya... Get up, Vano, embrace the wife, tell her something approving... You are silent, you do not want... - Vano, Vano... Here
tut your little children, tear volosik on the heads, overstrain, cry because they have no
tebya any more, Vano. Get up Vano, a kiss of children, poigray
s them. You are silent, you do not want. - Vano, all came your friends here, remember you, Vano, and grieve on you.
VANO, get up, drink with us wines, sing the incendiary Georgian song... You are silent, you do not want...
-Companions!!! Dig this GAVNO more deeply!!!

*****

The old Georgian dies. Summons the son and speaks:
-Listen, Givi, I die. Before death I have to tell you from where at nas
vse this money. Giv, I have a machine, one Dirk a ram put, another dirka
palka vilezat sausages. You understood me, Givi? Giv, after long pauzy:
-did not understand, Otets.
-Givi, I speak to you, I have a machine, one Dirk a ram is put, another dirka
palka vilezat sausages, you understood? Giv, after long pauzy:
-did not understand, otets.
-Givi, what you did not understand?! I speak to you, there is a machine, Dirk a ram is put, dirka
palka vilezat! That you did not understand!? Giv, without pauzy:
- Atets, and are not present such the machine: A stick you put Dirk, the ram vilezat Dirk?
-Is, Givi, is your mother!

*****

The surrounded addict from the ninth floor fell, got up and otryakhivayetsya.
tut the jamia and asks:
-runs up to it That happened?
narkoman it otvechayet:
- And the devil only knows, I only suited a vnatura!

*****

Geography lesson there zhe:
-Kamo, run in uchitelsky, bring us the Gruzii.
-globe A children now, tell me that such "wasps"?
-of Uuu. wasps is angry striped flies, the teacher!
-Is not present a deta, wasps is a stick round which ours rotates selo.
-Deti, and what such "Tibet"?
-Tibet is mint, only tebe, the teacher.

*****

Lesson in Georgia. Uchitel:
-Children. Write down offers: "From great a wall left two chickens". Wrote down? Write down
teper one more offers: "From great a wall left one more chickens" .
zapisali? Then, Gogi, tell me, how many chickens left from a wall?
-Three, uchitel.
-is wrong. Chetyre.
-Why four?
-Because one chickens left imperceptibly!

*****

Lesson in Georgian shkole.
-Deti, what at me nyzhe a navel, vishe a kalena?
-of Hee-hi-hi, ha-ha-ha!
[repeats a two-three of times]
-Nepravylno, det! Nyzhe a navel, Vichy a kalena at menya KYNZhAL!
A that hi-hi-hi-ha-ha-ha - at menya to a nyzha of a kalen!

*****

The mathematics lesson in Georgian shkole.
-Deti, how many will be 2х2? Ivanov!
-Four...
-Nepravilno... Hey, Givi why Ivanov crept away under a school desk?!
-Uchitel, he told lies to the teacher! Here I also killed him!
-of Hm. Well then you tell how many will be 2H2.
-1000!
-Too not that. Tell you to it, Zaur.
-Eee Givi, a blue donkey, 2х2 will be 7!
-Yes Zaur, somewhere so 6-7-8. Ho in any way not 1000!!!

*****

Drawing lesson at usual Russian school. The teacher gave a task to draw with everything the father. The end of a lesson and
uchitel approaches checks children. Approaches the first Russian, looks, puts 5,
stavit 5 approaches the second Russian, it too, approaches the boy Dargin..... looks and tells lol
-A why you drew in the blue color hair, really at your father blue volosy
on long without thinking otvetil
-I zhi have Uchitel, simply bald paint is not present!!!

*****

Russian lesson at the Georgian school.
GOGI:
-Uchytel, mine ruchk does not radiate! Gogi's
uchitel:
-, YOURS ruchk does not radiate, WASHING ruchk does not radiate, IT ruchk does not radiate, IT ruchk does not radiate, THEM ruchk does not write... ponyal,
daa!?
GOGI:
-Ponyal, hu... you ruchk lets out Soviet promyshlenost!

*****

Russian lesson at the Georgian school. Uchitel:
-Sikharulishvili, sort the offer on structure... Eee... Gogi and Vakhtang go v
banyu mytsya.
-Gogi who - is subject Vakhtang - appropriate, and to a bath - a pretext, uchitel.
-Neverno, the sonny! To wash - a pretext, and the bath is a pronoun!

*****

Russian lesson at the Georgian school. Teacher: - Deti, it it is impossible to understand,
eto should be remembered: FROM YOU KVASS - together is written separately, and.

*****

Lesson of the Russian literature at the Georgian school. Uchitel:
-Gogi, gift gy, tell us the fable. Gogi:
-Basnya Kryladze "Strekazel and Muravel". Muravel all leto worked, worked, pole
zaseval, hleb plowed, listen and. And Strekazel all leto ran. Leto konchilsya.
strekazel comes to Muravel and gavarit: "Listen, daragy, give a hleb for a shower,
DA!" And Muravel answers: "You, listen, all leto ran, did nothing, zima
pryshel and you are pryshet to ask, huh? Go to the devil, Flies the damed!"

*****

The Georgian got a job on firm on destruction gryzunov.
prishyol on Mysha allocated uchastok.
zvonit to the apartment and asks:
-est? What
-Mischa? Svetin brother? What-such Svetyn's
-brother! Krysyn of a sestr!

*****

Uchitel:
-Children, what such "wasps"?
-"OS" - this balshchy flies!
-Nat, "wasps" - this on what a derzhits of wheels, and balshchy flies - this PChOL!

*****

Uchitel:
-Who knows, how many will be trizhd three? Petrov! - Nine!
-of Sadys, two! Ivanov! - Nine...
-of Sadys, two! Gogi! - Sam, uchytel!
-Yes, gde so - sem-vosem...

*****

- Whether it is good in Armenia with meat?
-B of Armenia with meat is good, and here meatless it is bad.

*****

The Cheburashka and Gena plunder "Toy Store" in Makhachkala. The Cheburashka transfers veshchi.
-Gena, to take a coat? Take
-! Tent to take
-A? Take
-! Boots to take
-A? Take
-! In them musor.
-Shake out
-A!
-I cannot, it holds me by ears!

*****

Examination in Georgian shkole.
u: Gogi whom you know fabulists?
G: Kpyladze.
u: Well and what he wrote fables???
G: Martishka and point!
U: Well tell me EE.
G: Goes martishka at ppuda.
ochkom there - a point here!
A here Kryladze from a pond......
HODY HERE!!!! COURSES HERE!!!!!

*****

Excursion in the museum Georgian considers a statue is naked Venus Zatem obrashchayetsya
k girl-ekskursovodu:
- The Girl, this statue absolutely on YOU is similar!
-Not on YOU, and on BAC.
- On MNO?!

*****

South. Georgian. Wine bench. Approaches otdykhayushchiy.
-Wine is?
-of Tebe what is necessary?
-Agdam.
-Is. (pours wine from the only barrel in a bottle, pastes a label,
otdayet)
podkhodit sleduyushchiy.
-Southern Night Port is?
-Is. (pours from the same barrel, pastes a label, gives)
EShchE odin.
-Champagne is?
-Is. Labels came to an end. To pour?

*****

Three met and began to find out - who whom would like to become and why?
ODIN speaks: "A lion - the king of beasts to govern all"
drugoy speaks: "A tiger to be quicker and most strongly"
A the Kazakh answers: "A snake that to do everything lying: to go, eat, drink,…"

*****

XXI century. A secular party in the house Zhumagulovykh.
-Erbol Zharasovich, it is possible your autograph?
-Of course! What is your name?
-Tanya.
-of Tan... I write you, Tanusha... That Bol? What can I tell still?
-Oh, thanks!
-Is not present, wait. Now I know, in your will me contempt nakazat.
-Thanks! Hvatit.
-Yes you went to a bum! My God! At last poperlo! 14th head.

*****

- And that is why all Kazakhs have curve such feet?
-So after all already, probably, years three hundred as we live off Russians...
-is good, and why then so narrow eyes?
-Well is a shame slightly...