Jokes about peoples

Read funny Jokes about Armenians

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At one Armenian sprosili:
-That expression means: "Where the Jew, nothing to do to the Armenian there"?
-Very unclear expression. But here expression "Where the Armenian, tam
evreyu nothing to do" to explain as easy as shelling pears.

*****

At a monument: - Ouch, what beautiful Armenian! Absolutely young died! - Well you, same Pushkin, Russian poet! - What
pushkin, what Russian!? You do not see - an inscription: The LAWN is SOWED.

*****

The Catholicos of all armyan.
-my Children dies, - he addresses to the audience round a mortal bed, -
bolshe of all on light protect Jews! Because when are through with Jews,
primutsya for Armenians!

*****

Lesson at school. The teacher asks children:
-Who on a nationality there was D'Artagnan?
LES of hands, hubbub and only little Vazgen sits and molchit.
-Vazgen! You that, did not read to Dumas?
-Read. And the movie smotrel.
-Why you do not want to answer?
-Is a shame, Mar Vann, to a patam that D'Artagnan was armyanyn, but an executioner's block armyanyn!
-??? What
-A good armyanyn will be pet all over the country "Mercy, Baku!"?

*****

The teacher of literature in Armenia asks children: Deti, who such unsociable person? From back couple the pupil: - This is such person.
He manages to finish speaking, his teacher interrupts and speaks: Sadis, ne it is correct. The unsociable person is trousers, only from
strelkami.

*****

The Frenchwoman, the German and the Armenian are asked on a quiz, what such the member? The Frenchwoman speaks:
-Is such gallant gentleman who always gets up when enters dama.
nemka:
-This such very hardworking being who can work and in the afternoon, and nochyyu.
armyanka otvechayet:
-It is the guerrilla for whom you wait in front, and it comes behind.

*****

French radio:
-We at last caught Fantomas! radio:
-We for the end and not such caught
armyanskoye!

*****

What is the internationalism in Azerbaijani?
ETO when BCE-BCE: Azerbaijanians, Russians, Ukrainians, Jews, Moldavians, Balts, Blacks, Chinese and others gather
vmeste - and go to wet Armenians!

*****

What it is possible to make of 11 women's brassieres?
-of 22 skullcaps on your bad heads...

*****

The Chukchi washes in a bath. The Chukchi approaches it armyanin.
-! You to me, are necessary for carrying out scientific experience!
-A as it?! We now will check
-A, whether there is at you a through pass between a bum and the member. Drag a glass with water, you will lower
svoy the tool there, and I to you will insert into the back... If bubbles go, means is through prokhod.
nu, the Chukchi leaves, long he is not present, then he comes back and bears a basin with vodoy.
- And what for?
-A we will make it a little not so... I will sit down in this basin, and you to me in the member will blow if bubbles go, means there is
prokhod.

*****

- A what at you in Georgia bees? The Pig you know
-? Here such at us pchely.
-as they in a beehive vlazit A?
-Squeal, but vlazit!

*****

Judge the Georgian for ubiystvo.
cudya:
- The Defendant, explain why on the victim's body SEVEN knife wounds? I Cost
GRUZIN:
- At an entrance, I clean a knife apelsin, I eat it, a crust I throw on a floor. Here the victim entered an entrance,
paskalznulsya on apelsinovy a crust and ran on my knife! And so SEM of times...
-Defendant! The last word is provided to you!
-of Dvesta pyatdesit tysach...
-Court is removed on meeting!
-Defendant! You recognize the fault?
-Nat!
-Well, what cannot be cured must be endured!

*****

The traffic inspector stops the Georgian going on "Volga".
-your rights?
-You're welcome.
-of Darling so same rights for control of airplane of "TU-154"!
-of That clung? What were, such and bought!

*****

Afghanistan. Dushmana surround small otryad.
komandir speaks:
nado somebody to leave to cover us,
A we will try to break to svoim.
dobrovoltsu we will leave a helmet, three grenades, the machine gun,
If at this time that, then we will organize magnificent pokhorony.
kto the volunteer? Georgian speaks:
-I saglasen, only ostavte ne three grenades and helmet,
A three helmets and adyna to pomegranate. Left, otpolzli.
through do not hear hour explosions, vystrelov.
podpolzli back - smotryat:
sidit the Georgian, nearby the lot of the weapon, clothes,
vokrug half-naked dushmana sit...
gruzin twists helmets and KRICHIT:
KRUCHU - I TWIRL WHO NOTICED WHERE GRANAT?

*****

In the bus. The Georgian sits and Devushka speaks girl:
-, at you on a bottom mukha.
devushka is silent, and it opyat:
-Devushka, at you on a bottom mukha.
devushka not vyderzhivayet:
-Eb @@ t?
-Nat, simply sits!

*****

In Avhan the Russian group in which there was one Georgian, dushmana surrounded. Russians have few cartridges. The commander of
speaks that all crawled away to base, and the volunteer will be given a helmet and three grenades that though some time to hold
protivnikov. Well, the Georgian volunteered to be the volunteer and speaks:
-Tavarishch the commander, and you give me three helmets and one granatu.
nu, it was given and crept away. In two hours come back with cartridges and see - crowd of the spirits undressed to pants, round
gruzina - the mountain of the weapon, clothes and
A Ave. the Georgian sits, three helmets and speaks:
-Pakrutil twirl, turned who saw where the grenade?

*****

In bane.
-Gogi, lift mylo.
-Better you lift soap, Givi.
-is fine, let's lift on time, and we will go.

*****

In the city of X. the Armenian, nearby the Georgian sits in the bus at a window. The driver objyavlyaet:
- The Following stop - Rodina movie theater .
armyanin on bad russkom:
- At "Homeland" you descend?
gruzin became embittered, but molchit.
armyanin opyat:
- At "Homeland" descend, I spryashivat?
gruzin, stroking the Armenian on huge nosu:
- And krasyvy yes, the krasyvy?

*****

In Georgia on pioneer slete:
-Tavaryshchi pioneers, budte are ready!
-of Harasho!

*****

In Georgia judge the woman for murder. The lawyer in the rechi:
- The judge's Citizens, look at a face of this woman. Unless the woman s
takim can kill with a face the person? Look at her breast. Unless the woman s
takoy can kill with a breast the person? Look at her feet. Unless the woman s
takimi can kill with feet the person? I terminated, citizens sudyi.
sudya: "I tozhe, but it ne treat a del".

*****

At the Georgian school there is a geometry lesson, the teacher lifts small to Gogh, and asks at nego:
-Gogh you know the theorem of a cosine of the angle? Now prove
-ZNAYU
-? I Swear to
-mother - answers Gogh.

*****

At the Georgian school teacher ucheniku:
-Gogi, what such fiasco?
It when you follow the beautiful girl, and the bus approaches here, she gets into it and uyezzhayet.
- The Good fellow. Nona, what such fiasco?
-It when follows you Gogi, and the bus is still not here...

*****

At the Georgian institute. There is an examination. There is a teacher from kabineta:
-all tickets prodany.
-As well as 13 For today? Vys Gogishvili
-A in general are silent! You have a debt for last semester one million!

*****

At the Georgian institute announcement: "Entrance examinations will not take place. All tickets are sold".

*****

In Georgian restorane:
-Waiter! To me something national and ostrenkoye.
-Kindzhyal in a dzhopa.

*****

In a compartment of the train mother explains to the son how appear deti:
-clay Undertakes, preparation is molded, then, if to expiate it in milk, there will be a boy and if in water - devochka.
gruzin, having overhung from the second shelf, is interested asks:
- And what, an old way cancelled?

*****

In a compartment poyezda:
-How many I can teach you, - the daughter's mother speaks - do not eat some egg with a silver spoon, silver from eggs tuskneet.
- The Century live, a century study! - the Georgian said, shifting a silver watch from a kakman of trousers in an inside pocket of
pidzhaka.

*****

In a resort the girl approaches automatic scales, throws a coin into a crack, becomes on vesy.
smotrit on indications and discontentedly clinks yazykom.
potom takes off a raincoat, again throws a coin and gets up on scales. Swings the head, takes off a sweater and it is again weighed.
potom again throws a coin and tries to be weighed without tufel.
v this moment the Georgian watching this scene from handfuls monet:
-approaches Padazhdi it, daragy! Farther I pay.

*****

In the subway. The woman addresses to the elderly Georgian:
- The Man, clean from the road the suitcase!
- The Girl, it not a suitcase, is a purse!

*****

In the crowded Moscow bus the Frenchwoman incidentally comes to the Georgian on nogu:
-Sorry, msye.
-Kaneshno, I want!

*****

In the train "Moscow-Tbilisi" in a sleeper two: Russian and Georgian. Passed two hours of a way. Boredom. The Georgian of
offers:
-of Darling let's play riddles. For each correct answer - fifty rubley.
russky agreed. The Georgian sprosil:
-From where I go?
-From Moskvy.
-is correct. rubley.
-Where I go to fifty?
-B Tbilisi.
-is correct. rubley.
-To whom I go to fifty?
-K zhene.
-is correct. rubley.
-Why I go to fifty?
russky thought-suspected and speaks:
-Razvoditsya.
-five hundred rubley.
-For what five hundred?!
-For good idea!

*****

The Georgian, the Russian and two young ladies go by the train in one compartment. Gruzin
pochesal a knee, the Russian solved over it podshutit.
-That, the end was combed?
-Nat, seredina!

*****

At restaurant the Georgian gives to the waiter hundred-ruble kupyuru.
ofitsiant attentively examines the note and asks:
- And why Lenin in a cap?
-A at us in Georgia everything walk in caps.

*****

At restaurant the Caucasian approaches musicians and speaks:
-Sing me pesnyu, about kata.
-What, "A black cat"?
-NET.
-Can "A cat greyish"?
-NET.
-A what? Napoyte.
-mene you pazavt Kat...

*****

At restaurant Givi sits. On a table at it binge, snack, on a lap the smart blonde. The friend of
GIVI:
-Wai, Givi enters the hall, you have an ulcer! The doctor forbade all this to you!
-you Will think, the doctor! I gave it 300 pieces, so he again allowed everything to me!

*****

At restaurant the Georgian with the girl sits. The man approaches and asks ee
potantsevat with him. Gruzin:
-Is not present: I sing it, I feed it, I also will dance it.

*****

In solar Georgia the militiaman stops the driver, proyekhavshego
na red svet:
-You why on red light go? Write the explanatory!
TOT, without thinking twice, puts the three-ruble note in the rights and otdayet
militsioneru.
-Here, darling, there all napisano.
-E-e, darling, you to what light went?
-On the red... Why you write
-A, what on the green?

*****

In Tbilisi on the square the Georgian on a box sits and catches fish a winter rod. Another approaches and asks
-That do?
-I catch Fish!
-As? Tell!
-E-e expensive who so asks? Buy wines, meat - we will sit down we will eat, we will talk!
TOT quickly communicated, brought wines, greens, a shish kebab. Mudflows, ate, for acquaintance drank, for parents, familiar
vypili.
-Well tell!
-Well here and I catch - You the fourth today!

*****

Vano asks Givi:
Слуший Givi, ti went shooting in the wood, you were attacked by a bear what you will do?
-Ya I will shoot it! The
-A Nat at you of the gun, what budesh to do?
-Ya its kindzhaly I will kill! Nat of a kindzhala:dom at you hammered the
-!
-Ya I will climb on a tree! The
-A Nat trees, here such les, no, all virubat!
GIVI did not sustain and speaks: Slushy Vano, I that will not understand that ti my friend or a bear?!!!