Jokes about peoples

Read funny Jokes about Georgians

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Two Georgians go to a car. And here see - there is a road sign, and on it two eggs are drawn. One asks Gogiya's
drugogo.
-, you know, what it for a sign? Drugoy:
-E, Vano, you unless do not see, right there everything is clear - "The road times-two-yaitsa".

*****

2 Georgians across Moscow on unpretentious such "Volga" .
leto, a heat go. Around very abrupt mashiny.
pervy Georgian: - Uakh, Gogi, not to the magician, hot! Let's open windows?!! Second Georgian: - No, daragy, start up all
dumayut that we have a conditioner!!!

*****

Three girls go to a compartment. One speaks:
-I like to strike with athletes. Quickly came running, quickly banged,
bystro ubezhal.
vtoraya:
- And I - with military. Came to the account of times, into the account banged two, on schet
tri ushel.
tretya:
- And I like to strike with Indians. Children of the nature. Strike as zveri.
tut the train stopped. The Georgian with polki:
-May I introduce myself - the Master of Sports, the major Chingachguk falls!

*****

Go young mother with the baby by the bus, and the Georgian sits next. Mother tries to feed the child with milk from
siski and the child turns away the head. Mama:
-Well eat, eat!!! - the child turns away.- And I will give that sisyu to that uncle!!!
rebenok continues turns away... Mother continues it to persuade. But without tolku.
gruzin not vyderzhivayet:
-Slishish, the girl... Opredelaysya, huh?!... And I already the third stop pass that!!!

*****

The father and mother, and on the lower - their son и
какой the Georgian go by the train in a compartment on the top shelves. The father with mother settle down on one shelf, over the Georgian, i
nachinayut roughly to breathe. After a while on the Georgian's head padayet
ispolzovanny prezervativ.
- The Father, mother, what you do? - asks syn.
- And it we for memory are photographed. After a while on the head gruzina
padayet one more condom. Without having sustained, the Georgian vykrikivayet:
-Hey, you! If to me such negative, I all yours semyyu
perefotografiruyu still falls on the head.

*****

Go by the train (in a compartment) the Georgian and mother with synom.
malchik mame:
-Mothers, it is possible I will break wind?
-Of course, the sonny, only leave at first in koridor.
malchik leaves a compartment, does the part,
A came so far,
zapakh gets into a compartment (The Georgian is nervous and chokes) .
through some time the boy opyat:
-Mothers, it is possible I will break wind?
-Of course, but leave at first in koridor.
gruzin not vyterpel:
-Neee here... so ne will go, you pukna sdes,
I... fast in a corridor.

*****

Three girls would go to a compartment poyezda.
pervaya speaks:
-somehow I married the athlete, they such strong...
vtoraya speaks:
-I would marry the military, they such harmonous...
tretya speaks:
-I would marry the Indian, they such sexual...
B this moment from the second shelf jumps off the Georgian and speaks:
-Is glad to be presented, the Master of Sports lieutenant colonel Chingachguk!

*****

One our Soviet person on mountain military грузинской
дороге went somehow. The military Georgian GAI officer stops it and speaks:
-Wai, quickly went, radiate obyasnitelny, huh?
-What such explanatory? In gruzynsky language give
-write! I Georgian do not know
-! With
-As znaesh, and radiate!
NASh was though Soviet, but thought and, having put in the rights quarter,
protyanul to the military Georgian. The military Georgian opened and ulybnulsya:
- And gavaryl - gruzynsky ne znaesh! Uzhe to a palavyn obyasnitelnoy
napisal!

*****

The woman wanted to buy tulle. Goes on a market asks:
- There is a tulle? And each dealer answers it approximately tak:
-Tulle is not present, but look, what silk... etc. Here at last, one gruzin
speaks:
- At my place - tulle! Come together with the Georgian to him home, and there his wife s
lyubovnikom changes. Was frightened - hid the lover for a curtain. Gruzin
podvodit the woman to a curtain kusok:
-Here to you tulle also cuts off! Still otrezayet:
- And here to you х$й!

*****

For an hour before closing of a bath three Georgians came there. Took checks and went mytsya.
proshel hour, they do not come back. Passed the second. The bath should be closed for a long time,
I therefore the director of a bath itself went to learn that happened. Came in washing zal.
voda cooled down long ago, Georgians stand naked against each other, the Companions who turned blue from holoda.
-, you were already washed?
-Nat, mi still ne began.
-A why?
-of Milo fell to a floor... Why anybody it will not lift
-A?
-Itself bend down, you learn...

*****

Bear Georgians hammered, well go, bear ego.
na a meeting American turisty:
-Chto, a grizzly?
gruziny in ответ:
- Da Nath, so, his kynzhalam...

*****

Occupations at the Georgian school. Uchitel:
-Givi, tell us, what such "wasps"?
-Is big striped flies, the teacher!
-Nat. Giv. Striped flies is big shmet, and wasps is round what Earth spins!

*****

The Georgian who grew with hair lies on a sofa,
rvet a breast hair, roars and laughs loudly,
A accurately puts the pulled-out hair in meshok.
-What is the matter? - Georgia is interested rodnya.
-, - explains unfortunate,
-failed the plan for wool. And us, communists,
obyazali own skin rasplachivatsya.
ot pains I roar. But as I will remember,
chto Armenia on eggs ruined the plan, so the laughter smothers!

*****

The Georgian comes into a female toilet and celebrates small need. Odna
zhenshchina saw this business and zakrichala:
- The Man that you do, after all it for women!!!!
gruzin, shaking kontsom:
- And it that, for men?

*****

The Georgian in magazin.
-comes Give me candies how there they are called? "I you"...
-???
-Well... "You it"...
-???
-A, remembered, "Pineapple"!

*****

The Georgian in magazin:
-Dayte to a mine here that fabric comes - desit masters!
-A on what to you is a lot of?
- The Suit a board I will be!
-But on a suit is necessary meter three, well four...
-A of a kepk?!

*****

The Georgian comes into restaurant, the waitress approaches it. The Georgian speaks:
-Give me, please, the list blyudey.
-Perhaps, to you the menu?
-I tebyu too!

*****

One Georgian to sosedu:
-Hi, Gogi what you do comes?
I looks with surprise as Gogi sharpens a zdrorvy knife. Gogi molchit.
-Yes you that, Gogi?! and gde Vano?
-of Vano died!
-As died?! When?
GOGI, cutting a filament nozhom:
-Tomorrow.

*****

Huge Russian with the girlfriend comes into a cafe. Puts it at a table, gives the menu, well type, choose, and in a push of
-of a hand to wash. And behind the next little table two Georgians. One let's stick to a telka" give I you I will dance". Here
muzhik leaves a push, sees it and speaks:
-you that, two goats, went nuts? The Georgian drugomu:
-you Hear
ODIN, Gogi, he tebya two goats called!

*****

One Georgian to the brother and slyshit:
-Givi calls by telephone, we had a misfortune yesterday... The brother, yesterday our father polez
na a tree to gather apples...
-Well?.
-of Givi, happened the terrible...
-???
-It fell from this devil's apple-tree, Givi!. (pause) generally, Givi, my
poteryali father...
dlitelnoye silence on both ends of a wire. Then Givi, soobraziv:
-Listen, Vakhtang, and you under a tree looked???

*****

- Hello, I to you from a synagogue.
-So you that, Jew?
-Why Jew, why Jew? Know Vee Gogi? So I - from his Xing!

*****

Get acquainted the Georgian and armyanin:
gruzin: "Vano. In Russian - Vanya."
armyanin: "Entrenchment. In Russian - Trenches."

*****

- Ivanov, the name of the valley between the rivers Upper and Lower Chebu Chebu in Georgia?
- Mezhduchebureche.

*****

The boy in a sandbox plays and he found a helmet of the welder. Vdru
gpodjezzhayet "Mercedes", leans out the Georgian from there and offers pokatatsya.
vot they go, and the Georgian asks:
-Maltshchik, and you znaesh, what takoe an orgasm?
-Is not present, the uncle, - Maltshchik, and you znaesh answers malchik.
-, what such will pass?
-Is not present, the uncle, after all I am not the real welder.

*****

There is a big-big uncle, the Georgian. Towards to it small-small malchik.
- The Boy, apelsin you want? - the uncle asks.
-Thanks, the uncle, and so a bottom hurts me.

*****

There is a war of the USSR with China. In an office of the Chinese commander visit
bolshaya the USSR card which accurately is painted every day in zheltyy
tsvet. Somehow time comes it, looks at the card - all yellow, and in tsentre
malenkaya red tochka.
- And it that such?
-A it Georgians hold the third month the market in Novosibirsk!

*****

There is a Georgian, sees Devushka, and the girl goes ahead devushka.
-, turn,
-Well the girl, turn a stolnik dam.
-Oh, I will give a tyscha, only turn away.

*****

There is a Georgian on the city, sees the beautiful woman and Devushchka, and a devushchka speaks ey:
-, we will go with me in banyu.
- The Fool, the impudent person, the idiot!
-of Ne you want to wash, the courses the dirty!

*****

There is a Georgian on Red Square with a turkey-cock. The Citizen approaches ment:
-, here it is forbidden with animals gulyat.
-to Genatsvale, look around pigeons sit, to them that, Nuu's
-is possible, huh?, the pigeon is a symbol of the world … my
-A a turkey that, to you war declared perhaps?

*****

There is a Georgian down the street, sees two girls and asks:
-Girls we will strike?
-We? No. - answer devushki
gruzin:
-Well mynt, so mynt.

*****

There is the Georgian couple down the street. Pass by a drugstore. The wife shows on a pharmaceutical symbol (a snake round a bowl) and
asks: "Giv, what is it? "
husband : "I know Ne!" .
Ha a way back go again by the same drugstore. Wife of an opyat:
-Giva, well this such?!
husband : "Eeee, here ti got me! What is it?! What is it?! This is your mother tea drinks!"

*****

There is a girl down the street, and her the Georgian and speaks:
-Kondyter... Kondyter.... What Vakh kondyter!!!
devushka is wrapped and speaks:
-Forgive I not the confectioner, and parikmakher.
gruzin:
-Yes ne you, and your father kondyter: on two eggs such pie kneaded!

*****

There is a woman on plyazhu.
vidit - the Georgian, at him h@y from half of meter,
A on it of division and the price - 1000, 2000, 3000 and t lies. of
zakhotelos to it, and money of all 500r.
podkhodit, stretches money, sits down on golovku.
kayfa absolutely any,
NU it as will fall by full length!
gruzin as zaoret:
-Abakrali, robbed!

*****

There is a little boy with the mamoy.
i very much on mother he is annoyed for that that ona
ne bought him the dump truck (toy, of course) .
vdrug sees ahead a well without kryshki.
-Mother, look, the crocodile departed!
-Crocodiles do not fly,
-were told by mother and bypassed a well Behind the roar was distributed...
IH overtakes gruzin.
-To you, the woman, I pretenzy ne ymeyu,
A you, the malenky little stinker, zapomna, krakadyla ne fly!

*****

There is a young man on Shot Rustaveli Avenue and sees nadpis
"Zoological shop" and comes there to choose a gift for svoyey
mamy. It was pleasant to it magnificent popugay.
-Tell please, whether it is possible to buy to it a cage?
prodavets:
-For your denga, daragy... Whether
-A can deliver a gift to the house?
-For your denga, daragy...
ON paid off and left. In the evening they came to congratulate mother on the wife...
-Mother how you liked my gift?
ONA in reply only hemmed. It obidelsya.
-Well really you kind will not tell anything to me? That I can tell
-. I cook it five hours, and it still firm!!!

*****

There is down the street a girl, her the Georgian. The girl who got used to street pristavala internally prepared not
reagirovat and not to turn around on any phrases. Suddenly the Georgian speaks:
-Vakh, a devyushka, what at tebya good tooth! oborachivayetsya:
- And teeth you as behind saw
devushka from such unexpected compliment?! Palakhy so good zubama of the priest ne you nakushat
-C!

*****

There is a football match Russia-Germany. The score 2:0 in advantage nemtsev.
-Children! - the grandfather veteran shouts from a tribune. - We wetted them near Stalingrad, Kursk, on Dnieper, in Berlin!!! And you are
chto, bastards, do?!!
sidyashchy nearby the Georgian sadly zamechayet:
-you had Tagda another trener …

*****

From convent two conventuals ran away. One speaks:
-I is so hungry that would give even gruzinu.
- And I even sobake.
iz bushes lean out golova:
-Devochki, av-av!

*****

The Caucasian swore with the mother-in-law. Business reached knives. He removed teshchu
na a balcony and asks the neighbor sleva:
-Vano, you that made with the mother-in-law? Its
-Ya zarezal.
asks at the neighbor sleva:
-Soso, and you that made with the mother-in-law? It utopil.
-Here you see
-Ya, - it addresses to the mother-in-law, - and I release you!