Jokes about peoples

Read funny Jokes about Georgians

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The Georgian asks the neighbor - russkogo:
-Slyushchay, daragy where so sunbathed?
-dug the Kitchen garden on Sunday...
-Vakh, daragy, come tomorrow to sunbathe to me!...

*****

The Georgian sinks in the sea and forgot in Russian the word "rescue", krichit:
-Pasledny time I bathe!

*****

The Georgian on the street sticks to girl:
- The Girl girl! Let's go to the wood, I to you will show round the city!

*****

The Georgian fell in an abyss. Another to it krichit:
-Vakhtang, you live?
-Live!
-Head the whole?
-Whole!
-Hand the whole?
-Whole!
-Foot the whole?
-Whole!
-So get out! - listen! I did not fall yet!

*****

The Georgian wanted to buy a hawk, and on it a cuckoo palmed off. On the next hunting: iz
lesa the pack of ducks takes off, the Georgian lets out a cuckoo, and it sits down on tree I
-of Ku-ku, Ku-ku!
-Ka-ku, Ka-ku? The fattest be enough

*****

The Georgian teaches the dog to office kom@nda. Throws a stick and speaks
sobake:
-Bring and!
sobaka brings a stick. The Georgian again throws palku:
-Bring and!
sobaka again brings a stick. The Georgian again throws palku:
-Bring and!
SOBAKA:
-Tortured and!

*****

The Georgian by car stops gaishnik.
-yours prava.
-Here daragy, please...
-Leave, it is necessary to examine salon.
-Is not present prablem, daragy, please... Open
-bagazhnik.
-Listen daragy, I give to a teba of 10 thousand and we ne will otkirivat bagazhnyk.
-Open a luggage carrier!
-Daragoy, 50 thousand?
-Luggage carrier!!!
-of 200 thousand!?
gaishnik sees that business smells as blood - for pistolet.
-Open!!! Listen to
-daragy, I offered a teba of 200 thousand? And you refused? Here to a teba luggage carrier, please...
otkryvayet a luggage carrier - and there is empty. Zapask, cable... The GAI officer in izumlenii:
-So that you acted?
-of Eee, daragy, I with you in "Paul Chudes" played it!

*****

Five hundred ask to exchange the Georgian rubley.
on is surprised: - And razve deng menshe happen?

*****

2 Georgians watch a rigid porno.... with children, a sado-maso, animal.... one to another oborachivayetsya:
-Vano! really people really so do?
-Is not present that you Givi! Same stuntmen!

*****

The Georgian is asked: That you reminds
-apple?
-Female grud.
-Why? Same kruglyy.
- And what you reminds
- The refrigerator?
-Female grud.
-Why?
-Same belyy.
- And what to you are reminded by hours?
-Female grud.
-Why?
-of Vi, what "why, why"? Kiss kiss, kiss kiss!

*****

- How the Georgian cats mew?
-Meow, huh?

*****

The Georgian father (P) talks to the Georgian son (S).
P: Slyushay Gogi, and gde a Mauser, kotory I presented to a teba?
C: Oh you know, the father, I changed its on patch ROLEKS.
P: Slyushay, kaak changed??!! And if tomorrow to a teba the neighbor comes and skazhit:
"I the father had yours, your
Ya mother had, your
Ya the little sister had,
Ya ALL your sort HAD!!!! "ti you will tell
ChTO to it?? Floor of the second and!

*****

Georgian tost:
zhili Suliko and Shota both fell in love the friend druga.
polyubili and got married. Only got married,
SHOTA it is necessary to go in komandirovku.
-do not worry, - he speaks to the young wife,
-in three days vernus.
proshlo three days, passed three times for three days, Shot's
A does not come back, passed ten times for three days, Shot's
A is not here. The young wife,
poslala in ten cities became agitated to ten loyal friends telegrammy.
i came from ten cities from ten loyal friends telegrammy:
-do not worry, Shota at us! We will drink
Tak for loyal friends who do not bring in trouble!

*****

Georgian feast. Traditional toasts are ended,
tamada declared a free table. Rises odin:
-I want to drink for Gogi. He real muzhchina:
on can drink two liters vina;
on can oversleep with two zhenshchinami;
i he can revenge for the brother! Vypili.
vstayet drugoy:
-I want to drink for Mikho. He real muzhchina:
on can drink three liters vina;
on can oversleep with three zhenshchinami;
i he can revenge for the brother! Vypili.
vstayet tretiy:
- And I want to drink... for Vladimir Ilyich Lenin! I do not know
-Ya, how many wine it could vypit;
ya I do not know, with how many women it could perespat;
no AS IT REVENGED FOR the BROTHER!

*****

The Georgian is called from roddoma:
- At you was born devochka.
-As the girl? To you that, from regional committee did not call?

*****

- Why Georgians do not fly to space?
-Because then all Georgians would die of pride, Armenians - with envy … And this
azerbaydzhantsam would get all Caucasus!

*****

The chicken on the wood walks. The Georgian caught up with it, caught and iznasiloval.
tsyplyonok did not sustain and died. The Georgian lifts it, the Chicken, malenky, zholtenky, pushystenky pats on a back i
speaks:
-, fucked i
bayushki...

*****

Two Georgians met. One drugomu:
-Givi, such, panimayeshch, the dream of a vcher dreamed - as if I in bely kostum,
bely a hat, batynka beliya on white "Mercedes" down the street of Shot to Rustaveli
tuda of court, vessels there!
-A me, what I overslept with 10 women razom.
- And gde I beat?!
-A you on white Mercedes down the street Shota Rustaveli - there vessels...

*****

Two Georgians go by the bus, the following stop "Rodina Movie theater .
odin addresses to drugomu:
-Slyushay, you at the Homeland vikhodit?
TOT, turning around obizhenno:
- And the handsome, huh?

*****

Two Georgians ordered to themselves a bath for all day. Six o'clock in the evening came,
sluzhashchim is time to close a bath, and Georgians everything do not leave. Seven hours - eshche
ne left. Well, decided to send to them the man. He enters a bath, looks - oni
eshche were not washed...
-Men, well, that for a hogwash? Why then the bath for the whole day was taken, If
do this time the dirty?
-Yes at us is simple soap of hands fell out, to a floor fell...
-Well and what, it is difficult to lift? Try
-, lift...

*****

Two gruzina:
-Poslushay how you think, it is heavy to lose the wife?
Very hard. I think, it is almost absolutely impossible.

*****

Two Georgians razgovarivayut:
-Gogi, what takoe TIBET???
-It, Givi, the same that the COCKSUCKING - only TIBE!!!

*****

Two Georgians razgovarivayut:
-Slukhay, here you would have a lot of money, what you would be a font, and? Bely-bely botinki.
-Listen to
- And if you still would have money what a font still, and? Bely-bely shtany.
-Listen to
-, daragy and if still there would be money, and?
- The Bely-bely jacket a font by.
-Slyushay, daragy, then it is necessary to buy you still green a cap, savsem kak
kefir would be!

*****

Two Georgians rugayutsya:
-I about yours mother slept!!!
-Well and what?!
-Ya about yours the daughter fell down!!!
-Well and what?!
-Ya about yours the grandmother fell down!!!
-Well and what?! Your
-Ya a cap on x-yu twirled!!!!!!!
-CHTO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

*****

Two Georgians sit, chess play. Anybody is not able to play. One,
kotory overheard something, takes a queen, puts on the middle doski:
-Mat.
drugoy the king's beret, on the middle doski:
- Atets too puts.

*****

Two Georgians sleep. Odin:
-Gogi, is your member in my ass?
-Yes, now vytashchyu.
-I to a teba to a vitashch, sleep give.

*****

The girl in the Georgian village asks to spend the night for some hibarka. Ten Georgian and
govoryat:
-open for her a door Can perenochevat. Only mi a riddle we will think … Atgadayesh - ne we will touch, ne you will guess - prydtsya to sleep sa vsem of
PA of an ochereda! Riddle: "Small, krasnenky on a dereva hangs! "
devushka agreed. For the morning in the house such picture: On a floor roll nine half-dead the Georgian, the tenth costs
pered the girl on kolenyakh:
-Devushk! I Tib your god ask - well tell "cherry"! You give
ONA:
-do not loaf! All the same cucumber!

*****

Girls swim in the Black Sea. Suddenly someone under water begins ikh
razdevat. They krichat:
-Help! Help!
-to Thousand, girls! It we - delfina!

*****

George Bush, in solidarity with Georgia, fastened the I Am a Georgian badge .
gruziny took offense and fastened a badge "What you nafig the Georgian? "
togda George Bush fastened
togda I Am the Most Natural Georgian badge Georgians all country fastened a badge "George Bush - the American"
togda George Bush fastened
togda "American, of Course, but Sometimes After All Georgian" badge Georgians fastened a badge "Leave, the fool! At us and without you an array of problems. "
togda George Bush took offense and fastened a badge "Figs to you then, but not money"
togda Georgians took offense even more strongly and fastened a badge "Russia - better than the USA, and NATO - a rare sediment and a form at
nikh ugly. "
togda George Bush took offense even more strongly and fastened a badge "Correctly to you planes and trains do not let. So to you and
nado. I to you would not launch cars and bicycles."
togda Georgians fastened the "Of Course Would Not Let if Knew where There Is Georgia" badge .
togda George Bush absolutely took offense and fastened a badge "All of you are fools and me in vain offend. I at you was. Georgia -
srazu from a plane ladder should be turned on the left. There still president ridiculous such. It has a difficult surname.
Xaxaxa. Your Borjomi with pesticides! Poison terrible! Also I will ask to return everything that I gave you. I will show you
mat kuzkina! Pysa - And Wine at you tasteless" .
togda Georgians fastened a badge "The U.S. President it is not visible because of a badge. Because wrote a lot of hogwash on a badge" .
togda George Bush removed all badges and went to sleep in Texac.
A next day Condoleezza Rice fastened the I Am a Georgian badge .
gruziny heaved a deep sigh and started drawing badges "Oh, a nifiga to themselves! George Bush and that is one Georgian more similar".

*****

Diary of the Georgian. Monday - good day. At the neighbor the daughter was gone. Left in gory
i did not return. All aul looked for, all aul of an ebala. Tuesday - normal den.
u the neighbor the wife was gone. Went to mountains and did not return. All aul looked for, all aulom
ebali. Wednesday - bad day. And what the hell to mountains pulled me?

*****

The doctor gives an enema to the Georgian, prigovarivaya:
-you not really disturbs?
-of Slyushay, the doctor, give on "you" pereydy!

*****

- Devushchka! Tya... ptychego milk hocheshch?
-Yes, konechno.
-Tokhda suctions at ety two eagles...

*****

The man covered with bags from feet to the head goes by the bus. The Man addresses to it zhenshchina:
-, report biletik.
- The Woman, you see hands are occupied from me, the Georgian sits, it and peredast.
gruzin:
-I will transfer???? You here all peredasta!!!

*****

Gogi on the road goes, sees - ahead crowd, GAI, etc. Approaches closer and sees - a tree huge, and on a top of
stoit "Zaporozhets". Vakhtang looks out of a car window. Gogi shouts emu:
-Vakhtang! What happened? Zachem derevo you spoil?
-Vakh, Gogiya! I a vsegda knew that "Zaporozhets" ne the car - shit, but it also is afraid of dogs!

*****

The Georgian drives the car somehow, and suddenly it at him broke. Went mimo
russky, well and decided to help the Georgian. Glanced Russian in a cowl, and there the belt na
generatore departed. It gets a big box from a luggage carrier, and there raznykh
zapchastey - well to a horse-radish. The Georgian asks at russkogo:
-Listen, darling, why to so many spare parts with yourself you carry?
-Yes the Georgian home reserved an ass not et.
priyekhal, bought spare parts the whole trailer and hvastayetsya
sosedyam, and neighbors and ask it - why supposedly so many spare parts with soboy
vozish. The Georgian to them otvechayet:
-As gavaryl my friend Russian, "superfluous x in an ass not a hindrance".

*****

The girl goes by the train in a compartment one, the door opens here, the Georgian enters and starts undressing. Undressed. It is
EMU:
-Oh, what breast hairy, I have already goosebumps...
gruzin silently laid down on a regiment and fell asleep. In the morning the girl to it speaks:
- And I thought yesterday that you will stick...
-of Slyushay, daragy! Fifteen times ganareya to adynadtsat time syphilis... Only still your goosebumps were not enough for me!

*****

The cowboy on the prairie goes. Here by arrow: "Vzhzhzhik". The cowboy without turning around,
ravnodushno:
-Apaches... The cowboy on the prairie goes further. Here by the tomahawk flies by, krutitsya.
kovboy without being wrapped, ravnodushno:
-Gurona... Goes further. Here by condom. The cowboy, urging on a horse, in dikoy
panike krichit:
-GEORGIANS!

*****

The man on the to" kopek" goes and on the traffic light crashes into BMW. It leaves four Georgians with very much
nedruzhelyubnymi persons and go to the man, and obviously gather it pobit.
muzhik:
-Hey, to a postoyta, wait a moment, four on one it is dishonest.....
gruziny:
-So, Givi, give on its party.... But allow
MUZHIK:
-, it is all the same dishonest, you three, and us only dvoye.
gruziny:
- The Magician, give too for them you will be...
muzhik again not unimayetsya:
-Is besides unfair, now us three, and you two.
gruziny:
-Hey, the man, and you that rose here, go the road, do not interfere with our affairs, ourselves will understand...

*****

The train goes. The young priest comes into a compartment at station. And in a compartment the girl, beautiful such, in short
yubochke sits. Go long enough, and the priest suddenly wanted... ON:
-About the daughter washing, allow with you a sin to make?
-B than problem, Holy Father? Only pay money and in advance...
posle protsessa:
-Well that, the Holy Father, money we will pay?
POP (being rechristened and having raised a finger up):
-Supreme will pay!!!
I here the Georgian with top polki:
-Paslyushay you, a goat! Vsevishny already paid, now let vsenizhniya pays!