Jokes about peoples

Read funny Jokes about Armenians

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Whether the girl less than in a minute of communication with it on the street dat
svoy phone can? Perhaps if this girl sells to
-"Herbalife".

*****

Moscow. Recent time. The Armenian stops the car. "Kopek" approaches. Armenian: - Pass! "Muscovite" approaches: -
proezzhay! "Volga" approaches. The Armenian gets into the car. - Macaws, tebya as call, e-ee? Driver: - Vitaly. -
slyushay menya Vitaly! Now padjedy to hotel, there Maine the girl will wait... You will tell: "The chief, I is free?" I will tell
A: "Da Vitaly, ti is free!" You will tell Ti: "The chief, give 100 rub on gasoline." So mi and rasplatimsya! Got that?!
vitalik answers: - Understood, there are no problems! Approach hotel. The Armenian left, kissed the girl... Drove: -
ShEF, I am free? - Yes, Vitaly, you is free. - The chief give 1500 rub, and that something the cursor knocks, it is necessary on the
zagnat service... - Hmmmm... MALADETs. t, Vitalik!

*****

On the bank of the lake the Georgian, the Armenian and the Azerbaijanian have a rest. Wine, shashlyki.
vdrug from the sky an UFO, and from it the humanoid. Leaves and speaks: we have on the planet PARADISE! Who will correctly answer
NA my questions, that will go with mnoy.
gruzin: I perviya!
gumanoid: how many will be 5+5?
gruzin: desit!
gumanoid: the good fellow the Georgian, get into a plate!
gumanoid to the Azerbaijanian: how many will be 10+10?
azerbaydzhanets: fifteen!
gumanoid: the good fellow the Azerbaijanian, get into a plate!
gumanoid to the Armenian: 4,597,892 to increase on 2,894,560???
armyanin having thought: the macaw, the brother, mest Nat - and tell!!!!!!

*****

At an exhibition in Paris the Armenian cognac with three stars borrowed pervoye
mesto, and five-stars did not get in prizery.
- At all Why so left? - asked Armenian vinodelov.
-Sami we are surprised! From one barrel poured.

*****

On the desert island of Armenians, the Georgian and the Russian find a cave. The lot to go for investigation drops out to the Armenian. It is
zakhodit inside and falls into clutches to a Cyclops who of a butterdish drips in back pass to the guest and golubit the newcomer.
ostavshiyesya outside hear shout of the satellite, the Armenian through some time appears outside. Russian and
gruzin: - What happened? Armenian: - There tribe of some amazons, half-naked everything, beautiful! - And che shouted? - So that
OT of surprise. Served a couple already. Here left you to call. The Georgian appeared less trustful, and the Russian
rvanul in a cave. In a cave the same picture: Cyclops, butterdish, series of homosexual acts. Remained outside hear
krik of Russian. Armenians maliciously smiles. Georgian in perplexity. There is a Russian. The Georgian to it: - Well? - Yes
kayf, buddy, I che so quickly: only from a zone leaned back - the woman was not long ago. Also the Georgian in a cave ran. From
peshchery terrible shouts, cries, damnations and matyuk reach. The Armenian speaks: - Yes! To hard our brother -
gruzinu!! Russian: - Yes it is heavier, than to us - I stole a butterdish from a Cyclops!

*****

At a lesson the teacher asks:
-That most of all excites the person in the Armenian school?
-Body of the naked woman! - Arsenchik sitting on the first parte.
-from a class answers! Also bring the father!
Ha Arsenchik came the next day one and You sat down at the last partu.
-why did not bring the father? Why sat down at the last school desk?
asks uchitel.
- The Father told that if you are not excited by the naked woman, you are a pederast, and it is necessary to steer clear of you.

*****

National Armenian blyudo
for preparations of this dish nuzhny:
globus ?1 piece, colored pencils ?1 a set, the Armenian with imaginations ?1 piece, a stone, paper, the handle... Shovel...
vzyat the globe to wash up except that place, where Armenia. To paint in the orange color round Armenia any
kolichestvo of meridians and to leave to dry. So far dries to think out namings of naselennykhpunkt and them istoriyu.
dalshe to place black points on the recoloured globe sites and to attribute nearby just thought up
nazyvaniya.
potom to remember that the globe then was not also all this to transfer to the stone stolen from the neighbor. From above capital
bukvami to write. Further to dig it everything in a garden at the neighbor. In 3 days to dig out and give under sousom.
razdacha this dish it is carried out by all Armenians and on everything miru.
po to taste to add salt and perets.
pishchevaya value: Izzhoga
srok storages: To store and increase greatly!

*****

Germans chase the Armenian and the Georgian. The Georgian hides in a well, the Armenian rises by a tree. Germans notice
armyanina and catch it. When pass by a well, the Armenian krichit:
-Leave, Shaliko, we were caught.

*****

Novost:
devushka from the far Armenian village unexpectedly dismissed the charges concerning sexual harassments of the chief of
izvestnoy of the Moscow firm. She suddenly understood, strange her statement on process will be what that the man with the member of
V ten centimeters declined it, the girl with a fifteen-centimetric nose, to oral sex!

*****

The new way from baldness was thought up by Armenians. They grow hair on shoulders and a back, and then accurately comb
IH on the head.

*****

Once Haykanush meets houses, the comer from work, Ashot absolutely obnazhennoy.
-Ara, Haykanush, you that, absolutely from mind went balmy? - asked Ashot.
-Ashot you understand nothing in modern fashion, - hemmed Haykanush. It is my new erotic kostyum.
-Ara, Haykanush, well you though would stroke him, perhaps.

*****

The cannibalistic restaurant opened. The visitor comes, thumbs through the menu and asks:
- And why your dishes from Armenians are three times more expensive, than dishes from people of other nationalities?
ofitsiant otvechayet:
- And you tried to pluck the Armenian?

*****

Very rich Armenian came to fishing. Put out a feeler - caught a goldfish. That asks it: "Release me, desire I will execute
lyuboye!" The Armenian thought that it is necessary nothing to him that he has everything, and released a goldfish.
prishel home - told about it to the wife. The wife told: "Why you released it? It was necessary to think, that we
russkimi steel!". The Armenian again went fishing, caught a goldfish, thought that he and his family became Russians. At
armyanina skin brightened at once, the nose decreased, hair became white. It went home. Looks - instead of the Armenian
doma - the Russian house costs, kids near the house run. He also asks them: "Children, where mother?". And children in reply: "Mother of
S ARMENIANS left!!!"

*****

The Armenian received somehow the letter from the Georgian. Opens it, and the word "as" is written there, and a row drew a bee and
vosh.
armyanin calls the Georgian: - Listen, Givi, I cannot understand that in the letter it is written!
gruzin answers: - There it is written "as a zhi-louse? "
armyanin writes the response letter. The Georgian looks, and the taxi, and a row a ram is drawn there. Too understood nothing, armyaninu:
-I cannot understand
zvonit, what in your letter it is written?
armyanin poyasnyaet:
-is written There that I live "so-si-be".

*****

The Armenian, the Georgian and the Azerbaijanian to a dragon were taken prisoner. A dragon hungry, but it is not strong, appetite on all three not
khvatayet. Here he also speaks to them: run all over round this mountain who the first will come running, I will release that, the others sjem.
pervym resorts... the Azerbaijanian, five minutes later - the Georgian. Wait for the Armenian half an hour, hour. Dragon dissatisfied
asks: "Where this Armenian? "
A that chorus: "And it home went..."

*****

Why God created the man?
-Because the electrovibrator cannot take out garbage.

*****

Why to some fathers allow to be present at childbirth?
-as compensation for absence at conception!

*****

Why transfers of KVN stopped?
-Cheerful left on the East, and resourceful - on the West.

*****

At excavation in Tbilisi workers came across a telephone cable. Georgians speak armyanam:
-Well, you see, how long we had phone izobreten.
armyane in otvet:
-It that. Here we the other day near Yerevan dug and did not find any cable. Represent, how long in Armenia
polzuyutsya cellular communication.

*****

There comes an Armenian to Moscow. Catches a taxi. The taxi driver takes it to a place. Armenian asks:
-How much is proyezd.
-1000 rubley.
-Here to you 500 rubley.
-???!!!
-you too went...

*****

There comes from Yerevan to Moscow an Armenian and goes to a zoo to look at animals. Passes by a parrot, and that to him:
"Barev, aper-dzhan!" The Armenian thinks: "Greets me, clever probably". Goes to the director of a zoo, tchoba of
kupit of a parrot, and that cannot sell. Speaks: "Buy its eggs" - "Well, it is fine" - bought eggs, arrived to Yerevan,
razdal to friends of egg that those under chickens enclosed. After a while baby birds started hatching: at whom ducklings,
U of whom little cuckoos, at whom a strausyat. Anybody has no Popugaychikov. There arrived an Armenian back to Moscow, passes by
popugaya: "Silly women cancers! Silly women cancers!" Armenian: "That I the fool we know you and I, and that you are a prostitute, knows all
erevan!"

*****

There arrived an Armenian to Cuba. Went to restaurant, sits, eats. Then notices that when the waiter approaches
posetitelyam behind money, those stroke a jaw and silently speak: "Agent Castro!", and the waiter of anything from them not
beret.
podkhodit the waiter to the Armenian. The Armenian silently speaks: "Agent Castro!" also strokes chelyust.
ofitsiant with astonishment asks: "And where your beard? "
armyanin undoes a shirt, shows a hairy breast and whispers: "The secret agent".

*****

The Armenian to the doctor .
-Doktor comes! at me gemorroy.
-Vozmite these candles, use every day, and in a week will come posmotrim.
through week at the doctor .
-Doktor, what you gave me? I both for breakfast and for lunch and for dinner used, a horse-radish not помогли.
- Yes you chtooo, candles drank perhaps?, I told to use!
armyanin with irony answers - on yours I them had to thrust
-A into a bum perhaps?

*****

The Armenian comes to knizhny shop and asks:
-you have a book of 20 years lowered? I know
-He such knigi.
-Well there still Atsos, the Suction, Ananist and Armenians Dartanyan!

*****

The Georgian () comes to the Armenian radio (And) for work ustraivatsya:
(And) - You understand, to settle to us not easy, it is necessary to pass a test. Whether here answer on question :
mozhet the person to creep in a toilet bowl?
(G) - long thought: Perhaps if toilet bowl big!
(And) - Uuuu as it is banal, think still...
(G) - Can! If person small!
(And) - No, you to us is resolute not podkhodite.
() - And as if you answered?
(And) - Can! If person shit!

*****

The Armenian chicken comes to shop to buy. Approaches a counter and here CHICKEN forgets as to tell. Generally, costs
dumayet, thinks, then already understands that will not remember and speaks to the seller, showing on eggs, give me them
mamu.

*****

The father and the son comes to the Yerevan zoo. The child with delight krichit:
-Papa, the father, look what big chimpanzee!!! Let's Will go, the sonny. The chimpanzee is farther. This is the cashier.

*****

- Rapik dad home?
- Out rabote.
- Where it works?
- The store instead of cheese stinks.

*****

Give birth to three women. Georgian, Armenian and negriyanka. Gave rise at the same time and hospital attendants of children confused. Ask fathers of
vybrat of the children. The first the Georgian went, seized the Black child and runs away, and to it the Black following krichit:
-Hey, you che carried away my son?!
A Georgian otvechayet:
-Yes to me по##й, if only not Armenians.

*****

The plane runs away in air, suffers accident and falls on the territory where native cannibals live. Well,
estestvenno, everything perish, one Armenian by miracle survives. Natives are enough, so it, to tie to a tree of
I the leader, "here supposedly and so declares to it, we waited long ago that to us the white person fell into hands. Prepare - we you will eat
ckopo". The Armenian, really sees, business herova, at full speed go to a prigotovleniya:uzha water in
kotlakh gurgles, the painted and ornamented natives dance around, drummers knock aggressive marches...
ozirayetsya on the parties in search of the help, but understands that anything will not rescue it any more. Then he raises the head to
nebu and speaks in a fit of temper: "Ouch, astvats (in Armenian, god)! Really here any Armenian is not present!? " And at this time
odin from drummers, tapping with sticks, at the same time holding fingers up, quietly so (that other not to
slyshali), speaks: "MACAW, EST-E-E, EST! OPTIONS are NOT PRESENT!"

*****

The national team of the Caucasus wins against Brazilian national team 20:0. After a match everything, naturally rush to the trainer of Caucasians and
nachinayut it heatedly to ask: "How so? How it was possible?" It it is modest otvechayet:
- The Main thing, it is correct to pick up and place shots. In attack I put northern Caucasians, well Circassians,
dagestantsev there. It not people - animals, will break off anyone. In half-backs the Georgian put: they stars from the sky not of
khvatayut, but very reliable. In protection put Azerbaijanians, these free of charge will pass a horse-radish of whom. And in gate I am the Armenian's
postavil - You to it hammered, did not hammer, all the same a horse-radish of that will prove.

*****

The Armenian gryzina:
-Who on yours asks better: Armenians or Georgians?
-Gryziny.
-A than better?
-Than Armenians...

*****

Ask at armyanina:
-What most beautiful bird?
-Eagle!!!
-Why?
-Because nose beautiful!

*****

Two Armenians on one bed, one another asks:
-Vano sleep, you sleep?
-Yes.
-A that it at exchange in a bottom then?
-A! Sorry, now vinu.
-I to you to wine! Sleep give!

*****

There is an Armenian near a lawn and cries. By there passes a man, asks armyanina:
-That happened? Why you cry?
armyanin otvechayet:
- At me here the brother is buried, here I also pay!
-A from where you know, what it is buried here? - Asks muzhik.
-Look, here the plate: "The LAWN is SOWED"!

*****

There is an Armenian on the road, nearby the car broken about derevo.
ostanavlivayetsya other Armenian gets out of the car, and asks:
-That happened?
-of Vi - vay-vay, I any more not the Armenian! Broke the car!
-Well, you will think, broke the car, new kupish.
-Wai - vay-vay, I any more not the Armenian! You see in the car the girl!
-Well, be not upset, new naydesh.
-Wai - vay-vay, I any more not the Armenian! You see that at it in a mouth!
-VAY-VAY-VAY, TY BOLSHE NOT the ARMENIAN!

*****

There is an Armenian A.S. Pushkin's monument and speaks:
-Ah what well-known Armenian...
prokhozhy speaks:
- The Idiot, it not the Armenian, is the Russian poet!
armyanin otvechayet:
-Ara, you are an idiot! Ne videsh, it is written: The LAWN is SOWED.

*****

There is an Armenian, trades in pies. Another approaches armyanin:
-ээээээ... a pyrozhok with kem?
-Yes ti that ne you see that is written: "PIES WITHOUT ANYBODY".

*****

The Armenian and the Jew had legal proceedings. The prosecutor was given 10 years of a high security.