Jokes about peoples

Read funny Jokes about Georgians

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Cash desk of the airport. The Georgian approaches cash desk, invests one thousand rubles in the passport, gives it to the cashier and prosit:
-Daragoy! Odyn belet on Moscow!
IZ kassy:
-Beletov Nat! - also returns pasport.
passazhir adds one thousand more rubley:
-Daragoy! Give the ticket! Strongly speshu.
kassir Devushka picks up the phone telefona:
-, to me regional prokurora.
passazhir about himself thinks: "Really the fellow countryman sells?", but hears the speech kassira:
-Companion prosecutor, your reservation is cancelled. You do not depart to Moscow …

*****

Competition on the longest member. One behind one vystupayut
konkursanty, at each following the member is more than previous. Strasti
nakalyayutsya. There is a Georgian. The member - not simply small, and scanty. V
zale the laughter rises, in the Georgian throw tomatoes, women sryvayut
trusiki and throw on a scene. The Georgian catches some shorts, brings to chlenu:
-Smell, smell, smell... Attack!!!

*****

The Georgian swims in the sea and suddenly starts sinking. Sees that on the coast the Russian walks but how to call on
pomoshch in Russian forgot. Krichit:
-to It, hear, last time I bathe. Offensively, huh??

*****

The Georgian bought the Zaporozhets, put under windows of the doma.
na morning - is not present zaporozhtsa.
kupil one more - for the morning the same istoriya.
kupil the third, left under windows with a note - "Fellow countrymen, give though to drive" .
nautro under windows, instead of the Zaporozhets, there is black Volga with a note - "To ride - ride, and do not dishonor the nation".

*****

The Georgian bought a new wheelbarrow, goes, sees - on the road the beautiful girl,
ostanavlivayetsya votes. The girl opens a door and asks:
-To the center will take? Than you pay
-A?
-In kind. The Georgian closes a door and leaves. Goes and thinks that it za
natura such, decided to return, ask. Comes back and asks at devushki:
- And, what it for nature such?
-Well, you understand, you will take me, I will take off shorts and I "will give" you... Gruzin
zakhlopyvayet a door, and with words: "And on a fig to me your pants" leaves.

*****

The man bought a bag of nuts from the Georgian. Came home, wanted to eat...
NU, villages, let's prick. Pricks-pricks, and all of them empty. Everything split, posledniy
ostalsya. Splits the last, and the worm in a cap and speaks:
-Abydna, huh? there sits

*****

Resort, sun, sea, white sand... the Georgian gets out of water, and at him chlen
visit and sand concerns. Vacationers see the member of the huge size and begin zhutko
rzhat! Georgian: "Chego smeetes and?! Well water cold, well it was wrinkled!"

*****

The Georgian, in very serious condition is in hospital. The nurse, asks:
- The Patient how feel comes to it?
-Thanks of a sestr, is bad. Savsem I die. Very much I ask, the pasledny request - pakruta yaytsa.
medsestra became angry from such naglosti:
-As it is not a shame to you, you on the verge of death, but cannot even get rid in such state of the vile
pristrasty. I will complain of you glavvrachu.
prikhodit to the chief physician and tells him about everything. The chief physician speaks:
- The Darling, I understand everything, but also you understand - the person is very seriously ill, meet requirements of him, can polegchayet.
medsestra comes back to chamber and twists to the Georgian yaytsa.
gruzin with relief sighs, speaks:
-Spasybo, daragy, but I ochen prasyl an egg flip.

*****

The pretty Russian woman goes across Tbilisi, looking in the card. Passing by one Georgian, sppashivayet:
-How to pass on Shot Rustaveli Street? Vi's
GPUZIN:
-, why so you ask, and? Paydem now to me the lady, we will plant at a table, vipy wines, we will eat a shish kebab,
pobeseduyem, I will draw to you the scheme....
zhenshchina (interrupting it):
-of Feet! According to such scheme me today already two times the vy. whether.

*****

Newlyweds went to the country. Put tent. Well, as darkened, oni
-in tent and to strike. On the most interesting place the crash razrezayemoy
palatki is distributed. Newlyweds are terribly frightened. In tent Izalenta est looks gruzin:
-?
-Is not present... The Georgian leaves. Newlyweds till the morning sew up tent, get into it and po
novoy. And on the most interesting place again the same situation. Gruzin:
-Hold an izalenta.

*****

Two Georgians in a bath wash, one Drugomu
-Gogi ti that drochit yes there?
Nat, the bistro is simple, I wash a bistro.

*****

The man comes back from business trip, comes into the room - the wife in a bed, near a bed there is a naked Georgian in
kepke and joyfully so ulybayetsya.
okhrenevshy the husband - gruzinu:
-You who?
gruzin (without smiling any more):
-Yes ram I: yesterday here apiece of dollars bought an invisible cap!

*****

On a market the Georgian trades apelsinami.
podkhodit the nice blonde and asks:
-How much oranges?
-Ten rubles. The girl bared one shoulder, gruzin:
-Vosem of rubles! The girl bared the second shoulder, gruzin:
-Heels of rubles! The girl got the left breast, gruzin:
-Rubl! The girl bared both breasts...
gruzin pulled out a hand from a pocket of trousers, rubbed off it about halat:
-Desyat of rubles!

*****

On the Georgian cemetery there is a big beautiful monument. Na
pamyatnike it is engraved: "Giv! Sleep peacefully - the facts were not confirmed".

*****

In the Caucasus bury the old Georgian. Tomada gets up and says rech:
-Vot when Lenin died, together with it Leninizm; died when Stalin died, Stalinizm; died when died." .
vdrug the boy of years of twelve and speaks:
- The Grandfather Anany runs up to it, do not die please!".

*****

On medical board in a military registration and enlistment office ask at prizyvnika-gruzina:
-You are a boy or the man?
-A as it?
-Well, the man sleeps with women, and the boy - net.
nemnogo having thought, the Georgian otvechayet:
-Write - the boy. Unless with them you will fall asleep.

*****

At a stop there is a hairy man, him approaches malenkaya
devochka, the Uncle, you the Papuan is all eyes and asks:
-??
-O! I and in a bottom the expert I and in a pysa the expert!

*****

On a beach the husband and the wife sunbathe. The Georgian approaches them and Daragoy, pashla for a larok who sho pokazhu
muzhik gets up addresses to muzhiku:
-, follows the Georgian. Come for a stall, the Georgian speaks
-Ya tebe I will show, but only you not to whom not dialects!
muzhik agrees. The Georgian gets from trousers "device" of the size of a hand. The man shocked comes back to a beach to zhene.
-That it showed you?
-Ya promised not speaks.
-But I am your wife!!!
-Is not present, I cannot skazat.
vsetaki having persuaded the husband, the wife learns about "device". Passes three days, the husband comes back home from shop. Opens it
dver-is smoked! Runs on kitchen - two shot glasses with cognac, flowers. Flies in a bedroom wife in beds, nearby naked
gruzin. Gruzin:
- And!!! TALKER!!! calling!!!

*****

His friend stands on the doorstep of the house of the died Georgian and loudly plachet:
-I do not trust, I do not trust.... The colleague of the dead on work also whispers
podkhodit crying on ukho:
- The Companion, pass the one who trusts...

*****

At a wedding in the mountain aul the Georgian dances with the girl...
... another approaches it and asks:
-Darling can invite your beauty to dance?
-Nat! Well allow me to dance
-with your queen!!!
-Nat!
-of Vsego adyn dance with your gorgeous sunshine!
-Nat! Well I tebya ask
-, allow to invite your clear moon!
-Ya told you - no! The girl does not maintain
TUT and vmeshivayetsya:
- And can somebody will ask me?
ONI, in one golos:
- And you in general be silent, the silly woman when two Dzhigits talk!

*****

On the street there is a Georgian and counts money. The passerby asks ego:
-Forgive, you will not tell how to go to Lenin library?
-Now, daragy...... pyatdesit... shestdesit... semdesit... You for the second time I ask
-Ya how to me to go to library?!
-Now, daragy...... dvesta pyatdesit... dvesta shestdesit... You me will answer
-, eventually, or not?!!
-... trysta forty, vso. Slyushay, daragy, business it is necessary a zanymatsa, business!

*****

At a lesson of Russian yazyka.
-Deti, today mi we write a dictation. First offer: "From a branch upal
sukhoy a leaf" .
odin from uchenikov:
- And what such "a dry leaf"?
-Yes ne I know, likely, birds such...

*****

On the World Biathlon Championship the Georgian biathlonist having missed the mark all 5 shots, approached and killed
kinzhalom target!

*****

The small mountain town in Georgia. Our traveler comes into wineproducing shop. Behind a counter,
estestvenno, the Georgian seller. Whether Komandirovochnyy:
-Tell, please, there is at you "Hvanchkara"? Kanechno's
GRUZIN:
-, daragoy.
beret an empty bottle, pours in it red liquid from the barrel standing a row, corks, gets a label of "Hvanchkar" from under
prilavka, pastes on a bottle and stretches it kliyentu.
komandirovochny, seeing such delo:
-you know, I probably will take better than "Kinzmarauli" .
gruzin:
-As want, daragoy.
opyat takes an empty bottle, pours in it the same liquid from the same barrel, corks, gets under the counter
etiketku "Kinzmarauli", pastes it and stretches a bottle pokupatelyu.
komandirovochny (without any hope): Or perhaps at you to eat with
-"Teliani"?
gruzin, having looked under prilavok:
-Eats, but the sticker is not present.

*****

The Black asks to light from Russian, and that speaks:
-Ask for that chernozhopogo.
negr Chernozhopy approaches to gruzinu:
-, give prikurit.
gruzin emu:
-Paslushay, daragy, my ass in comparison with yours - the Snow Maiden!

*****

The Georgian on the city on "Mercedes" rushes. Goes to itself, sings songs po
storonam looks. And vdrug:
-Hey, grandfather stop! Where?! Stop! Hey, hey, grandfather!! Eh, grandfather! Ay
ladno, skazhyu a sticker was such.

*****

In gazete:
nebolshaya the family from 18 Caucasians will remove the announcement kvartiru.
poryadok and we guarantee purity in the residential district.

*****

One Georgian asks drugogo:
-Gogi, say, what you bought the plane to yourself?
-Yes, Vano, bought. Very convenient veshch.
- And how much?
-Hundred millionov.
-Vakh, what big money! Same the whole month it is necessary to work!

*****

In a word, Georgian drama theater. There is a premiere" Lenin in October". On a scene a study of Lenin, at a table of
sidit Lenin in a cap, pishet.
vkhodit the secretary, too in kepke.
-Vladimir Ilyich, there to you Dzerzhinsky on reception prositsya.
-E-e, write down it on Tuesday, on 2 chasa.
sekretar leaves, then Vladimir Ilyich, there to you Trotsky comes to reception prositsya.
-E-e opyat.
-, write down it on Wednesday, on 4 chasa.
sekretar leaves, then Vladimir Ilyich, there to you Stalin comes to reception prositsya.
-E-e opyat.
-, write down it on Friday, on 6 chasov.
golos from zala:
-E-e, slushiya,
LENIN:
E-e, slushiya, who from us Lenin, ti or I could accept the fellow countryman, huh? a bit earlier?

*****

One Georgian was expelled from the Union of artists. To it home prishel
drug with sozhaleniyami:
-Givi, for what, the road?! What you such drew?
- The Picture, "Motherhood" is called, - answers tot.
-Well and what? Good subject. And what on it?
-B to a picture - the nature. Field rye, immense. Lies in a rye young,
krasivaya, the nude woman and the boy sucks at it grud.
-Well and what the bad here?
-Considered that I big drew the boy...

*****

Odyn of gordiya chelavek dolgo lez on high the mountain, and there he saw arel.
i he asked arel:
-Tell me, proud birds! How you fly?
-Yes is very simple! I make a start from the brink of a precipice and I fly, and all. Nikakikh
sekretov. So I fly, my father, and the father of my father, and his father so flew...
AREL waved kryla and departed. Chelavek followed on the ny. And eshche
nekotoroye time over propast'yu razdavalys kryki
-CHTOB TEBYa, I TVOEGO the FATHER, And the FATHER of the FATHER, I EGO
PAPU!!!!!!!!!!

*****

There was a Georgian at restaurant and here the trouble - Russian does not know. What to do?
NU decided to look as Russians in this situation arrive and on bumazhku
po-friendly to write down, and then, it appears, to repeat. Russkiy:
-Waiter! That will desire
-?
-Russian cabbage soup!
-Sorry, is not present today!
- Then eggs in a sorrel!
ofitsiant submits, so to it the order. Well, gruzin:
-Afytsant! That will desire
-?
-of Si! I do not want
-!
-SSSYY!!
-Not budu.
-Tagda eggs sorrels!!!

*****

The man on samolet.
vybegayet from the house is late, looks,
U of an entrance costs taksi.
otkryvayet a door,
A drives the Georgian and the newspaper chitayet.
-In the airport! What
-Obed.
-a lunch, I aboard the plane am late,
poyekhali rather! Yes you all the same the newspaper read
-Obed.
-!
gruzin lifts gazetu.
-Ti that, ne see, the girl has dinner!

*****

The Georgian was late for the train and krichit:
-Vakh Vakh, the janitor and speaks:
-Not trains, and poyez left trains, ushla
podkhodit to it...
A the Georgian otvechayet:
-I that, to it under wheels looked?

*****

The GAI officer gruzina:
-stops you exceeded speed... What
-of Darling Russian does not love a fast driving?!
-C you penalty... Listen to
-, from where money at the poor Jew?!

*****

The GAI officer red "Cherokee" stops. In it - the Georgian. Gaishnik:
-Pay a penalty! Listen to
-, daragy, deneg Nat!
-you Scoff???
-Daragoy, I receive 500 rubles, to Nat deneg!
-of 500 rubles? And you go by "Cherokee"?! Listen to
-, I in army received seven rubles and by the tank went - to Nat deneg!

*****

Givi went studies the abroad, writes the letter domoy:
"Mother, I'm fine, I study perfectly, here only all go to university by buses, and I go by a taxi! "To
MAMA the answer pishet
" Givi, we send money, buy the bus and go, as all normal people! Do not dishonor a family the idiot!"

*****

The Georgian sells honey, and peklamipuyet:
-It and - haroshy med! Znaish who such med delyit bees?
balshoy and! Here such (shows fingers) and!
pokupatel:
-A as it gets to a beehive, and?
-Squeals, krychyt, and lezet! Who ne zalezet - on ulytse spends the night!

*****

The singer arrived to act in Tbilisi, but, as ill luck would have it, broke usilitel.
gruzin to it speaks:
-Listen, expensive! Let me be the amplifier! Let's try
-. - Knocks on a microphone. - Time, time, raz.
gruzin:
-Odyn, odyn, odyn.