Jokes about the characters

Read funny Jokes about Chuck Norris

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Women do not suck away at Chuck Norris, they at him otkachivayut.
Chuck Norris does not play (option) pocket billiards, he plays pocket bowling.

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Behind Chuck Norris's beard there is no chin, one more fist there.

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The sign "parking for disabled people" does not mean that it exactly a place where disabled people can park. Actually he specifies that the parking space belongs to Chuck Norris and warns that will happen to that who will take in head to park there.

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Chuck Norris invented green color.

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When God told: "yes there will be light!", Chuck answered: "tell "please".

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When Putin with Churov collect 146% of votes, Chuck Norris gains 147%.

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When a series "Cool Walker" was shown in France, French gave up to Chuck Norris - just in case.

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When Steven Seagal kills nindzyu - he rips off him skin. Chuck Norris tears off EVERYTHING.

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When Chuck called on the Interesting Personality, that with pleasure cut for him a door. Toothbrush.

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When Chuck Norris sees a guitar, the mediator itself rises and starts playing the guitar!

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When Chuck Norris comes into water, he does not become wet - water becomes chaknorisovy!

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When Chuck Norris calls on 1-900, he does not pay. It simply holds a tube, and money drops out of phone.

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When Chuck Norris goes to hand over blood, he does not recognize syringes, but asks to give him the gun and a bucket.

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When Chuck Norris throws a playing bone, it always shows 7.

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When Chuck Norris urinates, a stream it is possible to cook easily the titan.

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When Chuck Norris wants to laugh he without blinking perechitavat all jokes on 1jj.ru.

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When Chuck Norris falls in water, he does not become wet - water becomes chaknorrisovy.

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When you are Chuck Norris, something plus still something for you is always equal to one. To one blow from a foot from a turn.

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When Chuck Norris sends the tax declaration, he sends empty forms and attaches to them only the photo, bent down and ready to attack. Chuck Norris never had to pay taxes.

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When Chuck Norris multiplies 2 on 2 at him any number can turn out. And it will be the correct answer.

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Space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris's cat before arrival of the owner re-stuck wall-paper and anew sheathed a padded stool.

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To Chuck Norris's cat of 20 years and it usat. And yes, borodat too.

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The shortest way to heart of the man is a fist of Chuck Norris.

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Where Chuck Norris would not turn by car, double continuous always runs parallel to the car.

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People invented cars to escape from Chuck Norris. Not to be surpassed in something, Chuck Norris invented car accidents.

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Little Chuck Norris often hurriedly got one foot to two trouser-legs.

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On Nagasaki never dropped bombs. This is Chuck Norris jumped out of the plane and stamped.

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On the last page of the Guinness Book of Records in small print it is specified that all world records belong to Chuck Norris, and those people who managed to come nearer to them as much as possible are simply listed in the book.

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Actually, the wife Lota turned into a salt column because with insufficient respect looked at Chuck. That had a nasty mood morning after, and he in a fit of temper told it You h@y, having taken for the man (it is hefty stryomny, speak, the woman was).

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Actually Chuck Norris of ten foots of growth, weighs two tons, breathes fire, can eat a hammer and maintains a shot from a shot-gun in an emphasis.

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Actually Chuck Norris died 10 years ago. Simply funeral service is afraid to tell it about it.

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On the birthday, Chuck Norris extinguishes candles in a pie, blinking.

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The kick struck by Chuck Norris from a turn is a preferable way of the death penalty in 16 states.

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There are no races - simply to eat people whom Norris beat to different degree blue and black.

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It is incorrect to claim that the mere mortal was Chuck Norris's father. Chuck Norris returned to the past and conceived himself.

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A certain organization pays every month to Chuck a dessiatina from the revenue. Also sacrifices it the most high-ranking member. So Chuck provides rotation of shots in a top of the organization.

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Some heretics claim that Chuck Norris is a Emperor. But actually it is dirty lie, after all if Chuck Norris was an Emperor, it it would kill Horus with blow of a foot from a turn!

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There is no theory of evolution - simply the list of beings whom Chuck Norris spared.