Jokes about the characters

Read funny Jokes about Chuck Norris

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There is no such concept as global warming. To Chuck Norris it was cold, and he increased sun temperature.

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Nobody saw Chuck Norris in the childhood, except its doll and a bear.

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The usual living room totals 1242 subjects with which Chuck Norris can kill you, including the room.

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Once Chuck Norris resisted to Lance Armstrong in competition "At whom eggs more?". Chuck Norris won with advantage in 5.

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Once, testing an improbable strut, Chuck Norris walked down the street. Survived was not.

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Once the Marshal Ochevidnost declared to Chuck that people are afraid of UChNNSR. It was so obvious that since then the marshal is known as K. O. (and thanks Chuck, what not the private).

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Once someone told Chuck Norris that a kick from a turn - not the best way to beat a foot. Historians claim that it was the most terrible mistake in the history of mankind.

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Once Chuck Norris condemned Hyutona-Mifflin's publishing house when it became known that the paragraph of the textbook of history about war of 1812 was written off from its autobiography.

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Once Chuck Norris read all jokes on 1jj.ru and never smiled.

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Once Chuck Norris from a turn kicked a dog at first on a muzzle, and then on the back. So there was a new breed - the French bulldog.

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Once Chuck Norris so strongly put in someone from a foot that his foot exceeded velocity of light, moved to the past and killed Amelia Earhart when that flew by over the Pacific Ocean.

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Once Chuck Norris ate a pie before his friends managed to tell it that inside the stripper sits.

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Once Chuck Norris ate three dvukhkilllogrammovy beefsteaks for an hour. And the first 45 minutes he banged the waitress.

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The weapons of mass destruction do not exist. There is only Chuck Norris.

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The main part of export of Chuck Norris - suffering.

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The first scene of the movie "Rescue of the Private Ryan" is shot based on games in "bouncer" which Chuck Norris played in the second class.

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Pluto is the group of the British soldiers of times of War which is actually rotating round the Sun for independence of the USA which Chuck sent to space in blow in a muzzle a foot from a turn.

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According to unconfirmed data, Chuck Norris's son more than 2000 and it borodat.

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I will scare Chuck Norris 20 years, he borodat also knows the phrase "Great Chuck Norris, spare me a pozh …" in 2013 languages of the world.

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- How many push-ups Chuck Norris can make?
-All!

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Chuck Norris's tears treat a cancer. But he is so cool that never cries. In general.

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At first in the advertizing Venus Chuck Norris acted, but the scarf was eternally torn and slid off his foot, and these first doubles were not included into the commercial.

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The movie plot about turtles ninjias is based on real events. Simply once Chuck Norris swallowed a turtle and when vykakat it, she was six foots of growth and knew karate.

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The grass is always more green where we are not present if only Chuck Norris did not visit there. In this case, most likely, the grass is impregnated with tears and blood there.

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Tragicly the grushinsky festival of a bard song where Chuck Norris was taken for Nikita Dzhigurda ended.

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The third law of Newton is incorrect. Though it says that force of action is equal to counteraction force, there is no force equal to Chuck Norris's blow a foot from a turn.

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Chuck Norris's house has no doors - only walls through which it passes.

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Many men have one egg more, than another. Chuck Norris has EACH egg more than another.

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Chuck Norris has no diarrhea because he even shits abruptly.

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Chuck Norris has a member not as at a stallion. It at a stallion the member as at Chuck Norris.

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Wilt Chamberlain claims that overslept more than from 20.000 women for all the life. And for Chuck Norris it only "boring Tuesday".

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Scientists established that the energy emitted at the Big Bang is approximately equal 1 UChNNR (To Chuck Norris's blow the Foot from the Turn).

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Chuck Norris on 1/8 - the Cherokee. An origin here at anything, it gobbled up devil's the Indian.

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Chuck Norris has never a shave - he simply hits himself from a foot into a face.

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Chuck Norris threw the grenade and killed 50 people. And then she exploded.

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Chuck Norris does not shake up oil. It beats a cow a foot from a turn, and oil falls out of a cow.

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Chuck Norris laid out Facebook in Twitter.

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Chuck Norris pulled out the page from Facebook.

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Chuck Norris in the childhood slept with the real bear.