Jokes about the characters

Read funny Jokes about Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris counted indefinitely. Twice.

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Chuck Norris - the only person who beat a wall in tennis.

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Chuck Norris goes by the truck with ice cream decorated with human skulls.

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Chuck Norris does not come into the Internet. It stores all sites in the memory, refreshing pages a blinking.

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Chuck Norris - is not healthy as a bull, this is a bull - is healthy as Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris invented a rifle, liqueur, sexual contact and soccer - in such sequence.

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Chuck Norris invented a time machine and went to the past to prevent John Kennedy's murder. When Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets by the beard and reflected them. Carried Kennedy's head only from amazement.

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Chuck Norris invented a cancer because he was tired of murder of people.

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Chuck Norris invented black color. Actually, he invented all visible range of flowers, except the pink. Pink color was invented by Tom Cruise.

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Chuck Norris has two modes: to go and kill.

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Chuck Norris uses a night lamp not because is afraid of the dark but because darkness is afraid of Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris uses the stapler instead of hairspray.

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Chuck Norris is so cool that sheep consider him when he goes to bed.

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Chuck Norris changes skin twice a year.

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Chuck Norris can drink milk gallon in 47 seconds.

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Chuck Norris can divide into zero.

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Chuck Norris can force to shit bricks even a brick. Therefore Tajiks and Luzhkov pray on it when that appears nearby (more precisely when they know about it).

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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

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Chuck Norris cannot paint the picture because his felt-tip pens are filled with blood of his victims. As it is sad, but blood always dark red color.

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Chuck Norris can eat himself and ask additives.

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Chuck Norris is so fast that he can run all over the earth around and go itself(himself) a fist to the head behind.

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Chuck Norris is so cool that since the childhood dreamed to become himself.

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Chuck Norris is so cool that he does not need to run. It is only enough to look in the necessary direction, and Earth itself will start rotating under his feet.

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Chuck Norris is so cool that opens the even disconnected and blocked sites on the Internet...

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Chuck Norris has legal proceedings with the NBC channel now, claiming that "Law" and "Order" is the registered trademarks of his left and right feet.

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Chuck Norris brought down the fascist fighter once, having aimed at it a finger and having shouted "BA-BAH!"

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Chuck Norris defines love as unwillingness to kill. If all of you are still living, it - because Chuck Norris loves you.

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Chuck Norris was in the first version of the game "Stritfayter 2", but was removed at a beta testing stage because when pressing any button did blow from a turn-legged. When asked to clean this glitch, Norris answered "It not a glitch!"

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Chuck Norris mills coffee grains the teeth and boils water on own rage.

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Chuck Norris does not write books. Words are built for fear of it.

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Chuck Norris does not go shooting because the word "hunt" means possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes to kill.

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Chuck Norris will receive a statehood in 2009. The Magnolia will be its state flower.

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Chuck Norris argued with NASA that will survive if goes down from space to Earth without space suit. On July 19, 1999 naked Chuck Norris entered dense beds of the atmosphere and flew by over 14 states, having warmed thus up to the temperature of 3000 degrees. The embarrassed NASA distributed the statement that it was the meteor, and still owes Chuck Norris of beer.

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Chuck Norris sold soul to a devil in exchange for that it is always fine to look and possess incomparable abilities in martial arts. When the exchange was complete, Norris put in a devil from a foot and took away the soul back. The devil always appreciating good jokes did not become angry and recognized that had to expect such turn of events. Now two of them play poker every second Wednesday of month.

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Chuck Norris Was born unknown to parents.

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Chuck Norris told the cat: "Do not awake the owner in the mornings".
I a cat ceased.

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Chuck Norris never sleeps. He waits.

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Chuck Norris does not wash the clothes, he cleans it.

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Chuck Norris formulated the new theory of relativity according to which there is a set of the Universes, in which Chuck Norris cooler asshole, than in ours. When the same theory was publicly stated by Albert Einstein, Chuck Norris put in him from a foot and now we know Einstein as Stephen Hokinga.