Jokes about Vovochku

Read funny Jokes about Vovochku

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Jokes about Vovochku
paren are asked blonde:
-Kakoy you by phone? The
Mobile!
That it is clear! What number? The
Federal!
-That figures what?!! The
Arab!

*****

On April 2, 2001. Lesson matematiki.
marya Vovochk's Vasilyevna:
-!
-A?!
-B ж#пе foot! Get up when you talk to the teacher. How many will be 2X2?
-Pyat.
-Is not present Vovochk, there will be no mathematics you, sit down lobotryas.
3 April, 2001. Scene of action tozhe.
-Vovochka!
-A?!
-B ж#пе foot! Get up when you talk to the teacher. How many will be 2x2?
-Chetyre.
- The Good fellow, will leave you matematik.
4 April, 2001. Lesson matematiki.
-Marya Vasilyevna?
-of Che?
-Х#й through a shoulder, get up when you talk to the mathematician!

*****

On April 8 1998
mama:
-Well, Vovochka how you with the father behaved here, so far I was not?
Vovochka:
-Is very good, mother. Every morning the father took me with soboy
na the lake, we swam away by the boat on the middle and potom
vplav reached to berega.
mama:
-About My God! Same big lake!? Yes do not endure
Vovochka:
-, mother. I reached well. Difficultly bylo
tolko every time to get out of a bag...

*****

Babushka:
-Vovochka! Wash up a neck. Today the aunt of Vera.
- And if it does not come will come, I and will go, how the fool, with the washed neck?!

*****

The grandmother prepared a full basin of sawdust to pour them posudu
v to a parcel. Vovochka:
- The Grandmother where you took so many splinters?

*****

Talk Vovochka to mother. Vovochka:
-Mother, mother and why our father has two doggies?
MAMA:
-That you are Vovochka, it has one doggie, as well as at tebya.
Vovochka:
- There are no two! When we the day before yesterday were with it in a bath, it had a little doggie, and yesterday when it took away me from a garden, to our nurse, the aunt Luda, cleaned teeth the big...

*****

Doggy got on the Bug... Vovochka asks at mamy:
-That they do it?
-Yes, is the Bug of Doggy rolls... (Dejectedly) Here so always - who is lucky
-, that %nut...

*****

There was Vovochki's y a cow. And Masha Byk.
ppivel's y somehow Vovochk's time the cow to Mashinomu to a bull-calf. The bull climbed on a cow, and Vovochka and Masha sit and smotpyat.
chepez some vpemya:
Vovochka:
-Can try too? Watch
MASHA:
-itself... your cow!

*****

(C) Vovochka at a lesson sent (MI) Mar Ivanna on х&й. MI came to (D) to the director all rassaida.
(D) - to Vovochk to me URGENTLY!
prikhodit Vovochka.
(D) - As you could offend the teacher?
(B) is impudent so - And you have VONYaYaYuT socks...
(D) 8-() ChTOOOOO?!!! Well father! In school! Quickly!
(B) - And it cannot, it has a Communist Party meeting in regional executive committee...
(D) confusedly - Vovochka vydi on minutku.
Vovochka vykhodit.
(D) - Means is done so, Mar Ivanna, you - ides? those on х&й, and I go to wash socks.

*****

The new teacher came to Vovochki a class, young, beautiful. Vovochka after a lesson to her and speaks:
-Mar Vann, goes in laboratorian, I you tr @@@ at!
-Ah... You... Me... Yes I am a teacher!
-of Zaba-avno... Well, teach...

*****

In a vovochkiny class children discuss fathers. speaks:
- At my father the member 30 santimetrov.
- And at mine 40.
Vovochka:
- When the father mother scratches the first, she everything shouts: "Finish quicker, and already do
matki you get that. "
-Well and what?
-A that at it the uterus on other end of the village lives.

*****

In the remote village the physicist married and went to a honeymoon trip, and with the higher education more anybody is not present. Well the Administration at school looked and stopped on the father (priest) .
provedi a physics lesson, we will pay, on service all village we descend...
znachit comes it into a class, zdorovyvatsya and sets the first question :
-That on light is heaviest? A hand tyanet.
-Answer
Vovochka the adolescent of Vladimir.
-of ?$?!!!
-O!!! Prove...
-Well if will not want to rise, nothing podnimesh.
-Ozorno, but verno.
- And Tats that on light of everything is easier?
Vovochka again hand tyanet.
-Х$р!!! (Vovochka answered)
-O!!! Prove...
-Well only saw and at once...
-of Hypermarket. Ozorno, but verno.
- And what on light only quicker?
(Again Vovochka lasts) Wait a moment
- The adolescent - so you to me will reduce all physics on a her...

*****

In a city board of education learned that in one of schools there is a fellow, kotoryy
sam any trite jokes are thought out. Sent molodenkuyu
sotrudnitsu to understand. Really, there is such boy,
Vovochka there. After lessons there was it with it in a class and asks:
- And the truth, what you are able to think out trite jokes itself?
-Truth... Not really you I trust
-Ya. Probably, someone poduchivayet.
-Is not present you, the aunty, I...
-Well, here think up something directly seychas.
Vovochka for a second reflects. Then speaks:
- And cross the legs, You're welcome.
-Well, put. So what?
Vovochka builds an awful grimace, having ugly twisted guby:
- And at you now there - HERE SO!

*****

The day-care center includes the manager to nurseries sadom.
-Children, and in what you play? We play
-in children's sad.
-As it is interesting! I can look? And who at you Vadik?
-Vadik at us the driver. It brings products for obeda.
- And who at you Tan?
-of Tan cook. She cooks obed.
- And what at you Nadia does?
-A of Nadj at us does nothing. It at us the manager.

*****

In a detsadika Vovochka (In) approaches Mashenke (M)
V: Mashenka, and you are a hot telka???
M: I do not know, Vovovchka. Hot, not hot but when from a pot there is steam all right!!!

*****

In kindergarten of Vovochk the teacher cunning so asks:
-Maryantonna and what is more - an eye or two palokhod?
-Of course, two steamships, they what big, and eyes at tebya
malenkiye...
-Here neplavilno! An eye is more!
-Why?
-A my father of a pozavchel told that at them in half-those two palokhod п@#$о?
наклылись, and vchet to it some п@#$да to an eye got...

*****

In kindergarten the teacher asks at children:
-Children, tell what you know the most terrible animal?
-of the Wolf! - one cried malchik.
- The Tiger! Bear
-!
-A you that you are silent, Vovochka? You know what-nibud
strashnogo animal? What
-know.
-?
-CPSU!
-A why - CPSU?
-But because by radio speak all the time: will eat CPSU, will eat CPSU!

*****

In kindergarten. Masha:
- And I know that it is necessary to do that there were children!
Vovochka:
-you Will think! And I know that it is necessary to do that they were not!

*****

In children's sadu.
-What lovely kid! Boy, what is your name? Petya? Petenka … What chubby cheeks! How old are you? Petenka and whom you love - the father or mother more? And from girls of whom you more
lyubish - Svetochka or Katenka?
- The Aunty, do not breathe, please, to me in a face the reek of alcohol. I am 5 years old. I equally love the father and mother. Still I love toys and candies. I will love girls when I grow up. Though
poslednee, after acquaintance to you, any more not the fact …

*****

At prehistoric school there is a lesson. Uchitelnitsa:
-Lenochka, go and write the word "hunting" .
vykhodit Lenochka, takes a piece of coal and draws on the rock an antelope,
pronzyonnuyu streloy.
- The Good fellow, Lenochka! Sit down, five. Mashenka, go write the word "wood" .
vykhodit Mashenka and draws on the rock of a sosenka, dubochki.
-it is excellent, Mashenka! Sit down. Vovochka, my grief, go and napishi
slovo "love" .
vykhodit Vovochka, takes a chisel, a hammer and figachit on half of скалы
огромный chlen.
-Sit down, Vovochka, chetyre.
-Mar Vann, why four?
-of Vovochk, well, how many times you can repeat, what "love" of
pishetsya with two eggs?

*****

At the 23rd school the tinder fungus was hung up. All have a grief, and only Vovochka from 6th "B" is proud that the tinder fungus chose its stool.

*****

In Vovochk's zoo the Father, and why asks the swan such long neck ottsa:
-?
-It therefore, the sonny not to drown when water level increases.

*****

In the apartment there is a repair. The little son approaches a wall and tycht in it paltsem:
- And here, %%%, we will hang up a shelf!
K to it runs up the father and - hryas! - to it podzatylnik.
-Understood for what?
-Understood - the shelf here on h%y is not necessary. .

*****

In a class the teacher got sick. Ee.
Ha charged to visit the next day Vovochke Vovochka enters a class and objyavlyaet:
-Situation - hopeless! Marvanna will come to school tomorrow

*****

In a class the teacher got sick. Vovochke charged to visit her. Na
sleduyushchy day Vovochka enters a class and objyavlyaet:
-Situation - hopeless! Mar Vann will come to school tomorrow!

*****

In a class there is a dictation. On the phrase "The prince made happy the Cinderella with a gift"
Vovochka lifts ruku.
-In what business, Vovochk?
-A unless word "arch" of a masculine gender?

*****

The roaring Vovochka sidewise squeezes into the room. Mama:
-That happened?
- The Father moved a bookcase, stumbled, and all books posypalis
emu on the head...
-Well and what here to cry, on the contrary, ridiculously!
-A I also burst out laughing...

*****

Competition of children's drawings on asphalt was won by Vovochka who drew a circle. Other participants were taken away by the Viy.

*****

Generally, there is at school a lesson devoted to the Great Patriotic War,
rasskazyvayut about Kontslager Osventsim.
i here started asking children, can who from relatives was lost tam.
masha: - Here at me the grandmother was there and died of hunger, very badly fed.

*****

(C) an ovochka, (p) an apa and (m) of an am come back from gostey.
(In): Fathers, and why so small stars?
(P): and the horse-radish knows them, the sonny!
(B): Fathers, and why so big moon?
(P): and the horse-radish knows it, the sonny!
(B): Fathers, and why...
(M): Vovochka, do not disturb the father, he was tired!
(P): No, let asks! Who except the father will explain everything to him!

*****

In one special school brought together all the most outstanding Vovochek of all times and the people. At a mathematics lesson the teacher asks:
-Children, how many will be twice two? Vovochk's
pervy rises, thrusts hands into pockets, blinks the eyes and speaks:
- The Question paramount! Vovochk's
vtoroy important inflates shcheki:
-Twice two - unambiguously! Vovochk's
trety are got satellite telefon:
-by Hellou, Zhorzhik? Tu Bai that is Hau mach? Switches-off phone and soobshchayet:
on does not know, but promised to call back as soon as asks the father.

*****

In the smart embrace, pardoned Vovochka with Mashenkoy.
mashenka:
-Hardly I is the first girl whom you kissed as you speak to me! Too skillfully you do it!
-Yes I is fine! But here you from where it know?

*****

In park: - Ma-ama, I want to write!
-is silent, Vovochka. You already big. It is impossible to speak so, around people, listen. Speak - I want to whistle. Got that?
-Yes, yes. I want to whistle very much!
MAMA brought Vovchka for a tree, he made the affairs. On that and uspokoilsya.
noch. In a bedroom of parents Vovochka prishlepyvat and pulls the father sleeping with edge a hand:- The father, I want to whistle!
perepugany the father, half asleep, squinting for hours:-Vova, you sduret? Floor of the second nights! But I very much want
-!
PAPA opupevshy whisper tries to drive away this nightmare: - Vova, mother sleeps, the grandmother sleeps, all spyat.
idi and you to sleep, and tomorrow together we will whistle how many hochesh.
Vovochka, sobbing and shifting from one foot to the other:- The father, I cannot suffer. I will be direct schas to whistle!
PAPA, turning over sideways, filling up: Well. Whistle. Only very quietly to me on an ear.

*****

In the first class there is a mathematics lesson. Sit side by side troye
pervoklassnikov and talk. Borya:
-I in the market lost yesterday two hundred dollars to men. On bolshoy
peremene it is necessary to give, and that will be banged, and I have no money...
VASYA:
-It that, I on the motorcycle brought down yesterday the grandma, now I think: to
li now to go to be given, whether to wait for the end of lessons?
Vovochka:
-Eh, from me the neigbour became pregnant, now or to marry, ili
alimenty to pay?

*****

In the first class the teacher gives a task: to call and describe the most valuable thing which is known uchenikam.
petechka rose and told about father's mashinu.
mashenka - about mother's brilliant ozherelye.
Vovochka rises and speaks:
-Monthly!
teacher already poperkhnulas:
-Vovochka! That you such say yes? You though know, what is it?
Vovochka otvechayet:
-That such I do not know this, but precisely I know that it - something very valuable because when today utrom
moya elder sister declared that they at it were gone, mother fainted,
ottsa was enough a heart attack, and our neighbor in general took and was shot

*****

In the first week of September the teacher gives to pupils a task to write the composition on "As I Spent Summer". Vovochka speaks:
-Mar Ivanna if you watched me in the Twitter, you uzhe
eto would know long ago!

*****

In a sandbox of kindergarten talk the little boy and devochka.
malchik:
-you Represent, yesterday found the used condom, a dildo, handcuffs and a ribbon for hair in a sandbox...
devochka:
-Ya did not understand... And che there the ribbon for hair did?!

*****

On Monday the kid tells in children's sadu:
- And to us on giving for the weekend there came the mother's girlfriend the aunt Liouba. Passed on beds with tomatoes and all crushed. When it left, the father told: "Eh, * your mother, there passed the love,
zavyali tomatoes!" .

*****

As a result of long inquiries at parents, little Vovochka found out that children to this world are brought by two animals: "papatvy" and "aistblya"...