Jokes about women

Read funny Jokes about brunettes

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- Well as your new secretary? Honor with
-blondinka.
-It as red, what?!
-Well, hair black but the silly woman

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- What general at Galley's comet and at the brunette - vamp, knowing how to cook tasty? - Both meet time in 75 years...

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Usually my friend Valera meets girls tak.
podkhodya to the blonde who attracted to him or the brunette, he looks away v
storonu and whispers her almost on ukho:
-Sorry, you the most interesting place in something ispachkali.
pervaya reaction is, naturally, a trunk semi-turn, with zagibaniyem
golovy in that foreshortening when it is possible to survey convex part of a body that chut
nizhe backs. Then studying and corresponding question :
-Where follows?
Ha that Valera, now looking directly in eyes, udivlyaetsya:
-So you consider, what at you is it is the most interesting place?

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The lonely brunette looks for the partner in life with serious namereniyami.
intim not to offer!

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One blonde - drugoy:
-I made to herself the second hole in an ear!
-Well and how, it is better audible now?

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– Describe you.
-Bryunetka.
-Aha. And eyes?
-Is.

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Of what cages of a mogz of blondes die? Loneliness
OT

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The fire-escape settled down opposite to a window of a bathroom of the burning house, and the young fireman rose on it. In a bathroom there was a young brunette in transparent halate.
' 'Aha, - told the fireman, - You the second pregnant woman whom I rescue this year of' '.
' 'But I am not pregnant. "
'' A you also are not rescued''.

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Sexual life too happens striped: that blonde, brunette.

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Three blondes on the island got how to get out do not know. Here a wave casts a goldfish ashore. The small fish also speaks: "I will grant three of your desires. "
pervaya blonde: "I want to become clever! "
" Vzhik" - it turned into the brown-haired woman and crossed the river...
vtoraya: "hochubyt it is even cleverer!!! "
" Vzhik" - she turned into the brunette, constructed the boat and crossed on the Continent.
tretya: "I want to be even cleverer than those three! "
... she became a man and passed the Po River to the bridge...

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Three blondes on the island got somehow. Also caught a goldfish there. She gives them three desires - to everyone on odnomu.
pervaya speaks: - Make me clever that I thought up as from here vybratsya.
rybka made her the brown-haired woman, she jumped in water and uplyla.
vtoraya speaks: - Make me even more cleverly!
rybka does her by the brunette, she does a raft and uplyvayet.
tretya speaks: - And make me cleverer than these two! The small fish does to
I it by the man, and it leaves from the island on the bridge.

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Why blondes are buried in triugolny coffins?
potomu that when at it are closed eyes - feet automatically are moved apart.

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- You represent, got acquainted with the guy, it seems normal, so he sent me on a MMS the advantage in different variations with the proud signature at night: "WASH it"!!!
- And you chyo?
-A chyo, found the biggest on the Internet, and sent it with t

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Be kidding, friends, such pi*dets happened to me recently that I still as remember - I start neighing as a mad horse! Here already some time when I appear in any night tavern or bar for the woman to myself for the night, there is somehow an adviser - an internal voice somewhere behind the right ear slightly from above, he gives advice almost words, accurately and specifically speaks that it is necessary to make. I trust it as I know that it for me that if to listen to it that I will take away with myself any woman what I will want.

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The old man comes to an office to one famous doctor with rich practice, rasskazyvayet:
-Understand, the doctor, all the life I very much loved women. Loved blondes, brunettes, generally, the most different... Yes, yes - I you understood
-. But I am not engaged in venereal diseases...
-Is not present, you did not understand me. I loved them on a miscellaneous. But most of all I liked to love them in cars. Especially in different smart, sports. Tried almost all cars. I it did in "Alpha Romeo", in "Porsche", in "Jaguar", in "Pontiac" - there such poses...
-A-a-a... Now I understood. Now you have because of it a radiculitis, arthrosis...
-Yes anything similar!
-So that you came? Do not borrow the
-"Ferrari" for day?

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The blonde and the brunette talk. The blonde speaks:
- And you know that to connect a sweater, it is necessary the whole three sheep!
bryunetka udivlyaetsya:
-Is necessary! I did not even hear that sheep are able to knit!

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The most bitter sudba:
v - to be the 19th eyelid Black and to live in Amerike;
v the 20th eyelid - to be the Jew and to live in Germanii;
v the 21st eyelid - to be the brunette and to live in Moscow.

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Today blondes the drunk bathe in fountains and beat brunettes on streets with shouts: "You sit, you learn a creature, lessons, and we for you spend youth on hairdressing salons!"

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The blonde sits, suddenly hears noise in the head. asks:
-Who it there?
-It I, a worm - mozgoyed! That do you do
-A there?
-I Starve

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Two blondes sit and discuss doctor's on nuclear physics...
-of Akhtung! Someone goes... - we discuss series!

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Three pregnant women sit in turn to the doctor: blonde, brunette and red. Red speaks:
-We when made love to the husband, I always was from below. Means, at me will be born devochka.
bryunetka speaks:
- And when we with the husband loved each other at night, I always was from above. Means, at me will be malchik.
blondinka zaplakala:
- And at me, probably, there will be crayfish!

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Three pregnant women not an appointment sit: blonde, brunette and brown-haired woman. The brown-haired woman speaks: "When I make love, I always am below. Means, I will have a girl". The brunette speaks: "When I make love, I always am above. Means, I will have a boy" .
blondinka thought, thought and began to cry: "My God, at me will be a rachata!"

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The nice brunette with easy suntan, with the soft inflatable head. Hair on a head floor (a bang and braids) eye ; the blue drawn. The mouth is open (oral sex). A breast (model) elastic the small size with pink nipples. Hands and feet of feet in the form of "mittens". Feet are bent in knees, the doll accepts a sitting position. There are openings for vaginal and anal sex. The area round a vaginal opening has the frame imitating pubic pilosis. The vibrator with the portable panel is included in the package.

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How many brunettes - vamp are necessary to twist a bulb?
ODNA, of course. Plus - four muzhchin.
odin twists a bulb, and three fuss round the brunette - vamp, groaning on a sofa - give it a bottle with snuff salts and brush away with a fan, without forgetting to kiss a thin pale hand it which is aristocratically covered with gems and cameos

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- How many it is necessary brunettes to twist a bulb?
-One. And five more men. One twists a bulb, and the others fuss about a sofa where, languidly groaning, the brunette lies - vamp - wave over it a fan and give a bottle with snuff salt, thus kissing

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How many it is necessary brunettes to twist a bulb?
-One. And five more men. One twists a bulb, and the others fuss about a sofa where, languidly groaning, the brunette lies - vamp - wave over it a fan and give a bottle with snuff salt, thus kissing her aristocratic hands with thin pale fingers, the decorated jewels.

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Quarrel the blonde and bryunetka:
-You why at all the silly woman called me? Was surprised blondinka.
bryunetka:
-Excuse I did not know that you hide it.

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There are two blondes on a stop, one waits for the bus No. 2, another - No. 7. The bus No. 27.
odna from blondes approaches exclaims: "Oh, it is good, together we will go!"

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There are two brunettes - vamp and talk that is better - blue chulochka or blue stockings with lyureksom.
vidyat, goes muzhchina.
odna another pushes and shepchet:
-Quickly! About ethical unalterability of the doctrine professed by William Blake Hiliasticheska!...

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– What is the Artificial intelligence?
-it when the blonde is painted in the brunette.

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The fat man solved pokhudet.
tolsty the man decided to grow thin. Tried all diets, figa
ne it turns out. At last, saw an objyava: dump 20 kg za
odin day! Called, he was told that will come on dom.
na the next day is ringing at a door, the man opens, and there stoit
prekrasnaya the naked blonde with tablichkoy:
"Will catch up - I yours!" The man also began to chase it on everything domu.
neskolko hours chased, at last caught, made the delo; vstayet
na scales - 20 kg are dumped!!! He calls again in this office i
krichit: I want to dump 30 kg! Speak to it: OK. Next day -
zvonok, in the doorway the seductive naked brunette with tablichkoi:
"you Will catch up - I yours!" Again the man pursued it, ran in the afternoon,
nakonets caught up..., then rises on scales - 30 kg not at all!!!
zvonit it in this office and choking speaks: I want sbrosit
50 kg! To it in reply: precisely? - Precisely!! - Well, but smotrite.
i here again at a door it is ringing, the man opens a door, and there stoit
gorilla with the plate: "I WILL CATCH UP - You with MINE!!!"

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Three women: bryunetka
tri women: the brunette, red and the blonde - die in road accident i
okazyvayutsya before the apostle Pyotr which him speaks:
-Now I will set each of you the same question which vy
dolzhny to answer honestly, will depend on it where you will go: v
ray or in ad.
zatem it asks a question bryunetke:
-Answer me, washing the daughter, whether enough you made dobra during lifetime?
bryunetka:
-Ya I think that for all the life more than a dobra made, than zla.
i the apostle Pyotr passes it to paradise. Then it asks a question ryzhey:
-Answer me, washing the daughter, whether enough you made dobra during lifetime?
RYZHAYA:
-Ya I think, what for all the life more than a dobra made, than zla.
i her Saint Pyotr too passes to paradise then sets vopros
blondinke:
-Answer me, washing the daughter, whether enough you made dobra during lifetime?
blondinka:
-Ya I think …
I right there fails in an underworld.

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- Enough! Enough! - the blonde in a share taxi shouted, having forgotten the word "stop".

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Go in gosti:
frantsuz - with blondinkoy
russky - with a bottle vodki
evrey - with small tortikom
vozvrashchayutsya from gostey:
frantsuz - with bryunetkoy
russky - with bruise under glazom
evrey - with small tortikom
pri it dumayut:
frantsuz - it was necessary to take shatenku
russky - whether For a long time I was remembered there?
evrey - Where still to descend with this cake?

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– Than the beautiful Brunette differs from the yeti? someone saw
-Of the Yeti...

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The devil advised, I listened to him. Type: "approach this long-legged behind, unexpectedly kiss her on a shoulder, will turn back - smile, tell: it is charming!" Or: "suggest this beautiful proud brunette to strike, but ve6zhlivo!", etc.

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What will be if 10 blondes to put an ear to an ear?
aerodinamicheskaya pipe.

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As for silly blondes, silly brunettes simply envy them.

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The young man decided to marry, and tells about it to the mather.
-Mothers, I decided to make to you a surprise. I will bring into the house at once three girls, and you will try to guess what of them mine nevesta.
na the next day it brings home three girls, the blonde, the brunette and ryzhenky. Evening passes excellently, all are happy. When guests went home, he asks at mather:
-Mothers, well as you think who is she?
-Red, undoubtedly! - Mummy speaks mat.
-, - the son grows stout in a smile, - but how you guessed?
-A it was not pleasant at once to me.