Jokes about peoples

Read funny Jokes about Armenians

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In Armenia there are three shops nearby. The owner of the left hung up vyvesku:
"At us the lowest prices" .
khozyain pravogo:
"At us the most qualitative goods".
A the owner of an average, having thought, hung up vyvesku:
"the Main entrance here".

*****

In Yerevan the Azerbaijanian of sparkling water decided to drink, kinul
monetku, and the fist and as will give it in an ugly face leaves from there. That costs, ves
okhrenevshy. Again threw a coin, and again the same history. Asked on
prokhozhego the Armenian to throw a coin in the machine gun. That throws, opyat
vyezzhayet a fist from there, waves "depart", and again in a nose to the Azerbaijanian.

*****

At cannibalistic restaurant the visitor asks the waiter: - And why at you all dishes from Armenians are three times more expensive,
chem from people of other nationalities? - And you tried to pluck the Armenian?

*****

In the train the Englishwoman in seductive mini-юбке.
Армянин from the top shelf devours it glazami.
vidya attention, so fixed to herself, the Englishwoman coquets. That will approach a mirror a hairdress will correct,
chemodan on the shelf podvinet.
no the Armenian is silent and, unconcernedly, devours the Englishwoman with the eyes. Somehow to relieve the tension the Englishwoman asks:
-Do You speak English?
armyanin otvechayet:
-Vakh! I want Koneshn!

*****

The very young maiden, the elderly lady, the Armenian and the Georgian go by the train in one compartment. The train stops by in a tunnel, through
neskolko of seconds the kiss sound is in the dark distributed, at once a sound poshchechiny.
mysli passazhirov:
devitsa:vot I here the young sit at it and these perverts kiss the old woman!
DAMA: Here the youth at last the moral went, her kissed, and it gave a slap in the face to the impudent person!
gruzin: It is necessary so - the Armenian kisses, and me a slap in the face...
armyanin: In the following tunnel the Georgian should cut again!

*****

At restaurant the Armenian sits. On a table at it binge, snack, on a lap the smart blonde. Its
DRUG:
-of Vi, the macaw enters the hall, you have an ulcer!!! The doctor forbade all this to you!!!
-you Will think, the doctor!!! I gave it $300, so he again allowed everything to me...

*****

The Armenian after foreign business trip to England comes back home. Native sprashivayut:
-Well as your English? Did not bring on a trip?
-is not present Me, and here British with it had an array of problems!

*****

War between Armenia and Azerbaijan. Azerbaijanians of the Armenian caught and davay
pytat him is where supposedly yours... (it is said by a rough deep voice with harakternym
aktsentom...)
-Budish gavaryt? We will Feed
-NET.
-, it is better than a gavara!
-NET.
-is fine. Hey, Mahomed, well put to him...
-...
-Budish gavaryt?
-is NOT PRESENT.
- Mahomed, put to it still...
-......
-BUDISH GAVARYT?
-is NOT PRESENT!
-MAHOMED!.
-...
-BUDISH GAVARYT, SABAKA, PASLEDNYY RAS is ASKED?!!?!
-DA, DA...
-GAVARY.
-O-O-O! I am LUBLU TEBYa, MAHOMED!

*****

Question to the Armenian radio: How the aerobatic maneuvre "cobra" becomes?
otvet: "It is necessary to disperse the plane and to put it on a bench hammer!"

*****

Question Armenian radio:
-Why at programmers girls are born in 80% of cases?
-Because them divorced five times more, than it is necessary!

*****

Question to the Armenian radio: "How on the street to distinguish DOOMERA? "
otvet: "On gait. They do not turn round the corner, and sideways come".

*****

Are at war Azerbaijan with Armenians for the disputed territory (Karabakh). And the Azerbaijanian speaks at negotiations: "When mi
syuda arrived zdes beat nobody, zdes hodyla obezyana odna! "Armenians answer: "It mi beat".

*****

Two Armenians meet. To one another speaks:
-Ashot, nishchasta!
-Cho Slyuchilas, macaw?
-to Mai the tire in army zaberayet.
- And razve Ana at Tib the man?
-Nat! What man?! Boy savsem.

*****

Two Armenians meet somehow. - I heard, you married the Japanese? - Yes, it is valid. - Well and how? -
razocharovan. - And what is the matter? - It appeared a pathetic Chinese fake.

*****

Meet the Georgian the Armenian. The Armenian asks the Georgian: How to call you? Ivak, answers the Georgian, and in Russian
IVAN. And you? Akop, answers the Armenian, and in Russian a trench!

*****

The Georgian writes the letter to the Armenian. Wrote the word "as" and nearby drew a bee. And louse. The Armenian understood nothing also
zvonit drugu:
-That you, Gogi, wrote?
-As zhi-louse? - Gogi.
armyanin explains writes the answer. Drew a taxi and a ram. Gogi too understood nothing in the message of the friend and calls to Yerevan.
armyanin answers it on telefonu:
-Gogi, I wrote to you that I live so-si-be.

*****

The Armenian on a zoo walked somehow... Suddenly sharply approached a cage with gorillas. Very long peered there. That
otoydyot, will approach. And as the people resolved approached in an emphasis a cage, looked at a gorilla and with astonishment told:
"Vakhtang, ti shtol?"

*****

The Georgian and the Armenian walk... night, darkly, it is visible nothing.... the Georgian suddenly stops, bends, looks for
chto... so napryazhno, so nervously.... The Armenian asks the Georgian:
Gogi... and Gogi... what do you look for?
-La here dropped the last 10 kopeks... lost... that now. how to be farther.... on what to live...
armyanin gets a pack of $100 notes, sets fire....
Gogi Gian, now I will light and we will find, we will find everything...

*****

The grandfather Ashot, - grandsons ask, - You lived so many years s
babushkoy Anush. Really you for so many years did not have a desire to leave it, to disperse, for example?
-to Disperse? No way! To kill - yes …

*****

Jews repeat that Ache was the Jew, means all people came from them. But when Ache climbed down Mountain Ararat, the father of
odnoy of the Armenian family Tigran shouted to the wife: - akhch the wife call rather than children and go here, to us the circus arrived!

*****

The Armenian goes on the city... Catches up beautiful devushku:
-Devushka went to a bath!
Impudent person fool idiot!!!!
Why you swear? Ne you want to wash, go the dirty...

*****

The Georgian drives the car. Suddenly sees - two Armenians at the same time bang other Georgian in a bum directly at the road,
A that shouts Pamagite, pamagite!› The Georgian wanted to pass by and it was a pity for the fellow countryman, it is necessary, thinks, to help
bednyage. Stopped the car, left, took off trousers, bent down: Adyn give Armenians of court›.

*****

Go the Armenian with the Georgian by the tram. The Armenian near a window, and the Georgian nearby. The tram approaches movie theater "Homeland" of ;
armyanin which should leave, asks at gruzina:
-You at the homeland descend?
guzin looked discontentedly at the Armenian and turned away. The Armenian, without understanding, again asks:
-Paslushay! At the homeland you descend? Hardly constraining
gruzin anger will overcome on the Armenian, discontentedly turns away. The Armenian already in perplexity on all
tramvay vosklitsayet:
- At the homeland you descend?!
gruzin in rage turns to the Armenian and, running a finger over his nose, krichit:
- And you beautiful yes? Beautiful?!

*****

Two Armenians by tram go. Pass by Optika shop. One Armenian reads and speaks to another: "Look,
vartan, what illiterate!" A drugstore" wrote through "O". Here fools! Other Armenian ukhmelnuvshis answered him:
"Well what you, Robik, stupid!!! Remember!!! It is told "Drugstore", an is written "Optics"!

*****

The Yerevan theater put the performance "Little Red Riding Hood":
-of Slyushay, the grandmother and why you have such big eye?
-of Chitoby is better to see you!
-of Slyushay, the grandmother, and why at you such big ear a sink?
-of Chitoby is better to listen to you!
-of Slyushay, the grandmother and why you have such big nose?
-of Vi! Look at yourself and!

*****

The Armenian married the Azerbaijanian. After known the Baku riots the family was compelled to look for shelters in other
strane. After a while the wife's brother visits them. Mudflows drank and as always started arguing about Karabakh -
"who is right who is guilty". Fairly inflamed and here the Armenian to relieve the tension, speaks - went to my
rodstvennikam, they here nearby live in one village. Let's roll. Pass fields with
azerbaydzhanets which is grazed rams and here speaks - "listen, we in my opinion arrived already, here your relatives rams are grazed". On what the Armenian of
otvechayet - "yes, my relatives, only from the wife".

*****

Call from Yerevan in Moskvu:
-Hi, Ashot! How long you did not call! Our boy married!
-My God, what pleasure! Be blessed this girl...
-Matter in that, Ashot that is the boy...
PAUZA.
-But it at least Armenian?

*****

Whether you know, chto:
-Under the Armenian Constitution at inauguration. The president has to hold the right hand on mother.

*****

The Russian girl and the young Armenian get acquainted. - You as are called? - My name is Katya Petrova. Or it is simple "Sweet
pyshka". - And my name is Hachik Mikoyan. Or "Simply tasty sausage"

*****

Get acquainted Russian and armyanin:
-My name is Ivan, in your opinion Ovanes.
- And my name is Akop, in your opinion Trenches.

*****

Golden wedding at armyan.
- The Grandfather Ashot, - grandsons ask, - You lived so many years s
babushkoy Anush. Really at you for so many years did not appear zhelaniye
rasstatsya with it, to disperse, for example?
-to Disperse? No way! To kill - yes...

*****

There is an Armenian on Red Square with a turkey-cock. The Citizen approaches ment:
-, with animals gulyat.
-Ara is forbidden here, look around pigeons sit, to them that, it is possible? yes?
-of Nuu, a pigeon is a symbol of the world... My
-A turkey that? To you declared war perhaps?

*****

The Armenian goes shooting. Towards to it drug:
-Ara where you go? On okhotu.
- And imagine
-that you left at home the gun. Also met in the wood a huge bear. What you will do?
-As so, I go shooting and forgot the gun!? Well here present to
-zabyl.
-I then will kill this bear a dagger! Imagine
-A that you left a dagger at home. What you will do?
-I am a DZHIGIT, I have a dagger always at myself! Well here imagine
-forgot and kinzhal.
-Well... I then will climb from a bear on a tree! Imagine
-A that in the wood there are no trees!
-You that, went mad absolutely, in the WOOD there are no trees!!?? Well here present to
-sebe.
-Listen, the macaw, I will not understand something - who your friend: bear or I!?

*****

There is across Moscow armyanin.
podkhodit to it a Russian and asks:
-Sorry, but whether complicated you to tell me, as if I could pass to Maly Theatre, You're welcome.
armyanin listened, thought and said:
-You so politely asked, it is so polite, so polite that I speak tebe:
-to Idi as want.

*****

There is a man down the street of the city, sees the crying man about a lawn, the Caucasian nationality, approaches it and
asks,
-. You that cry?
-Yes at menya is buried by a sconce, here here and I pay, answers armyan
- And from what you took that it is buried here, You ask it again prokhozhiy
-that the plate ne videsh, look "the LAWN is SOWED"

*****

There are three Armenians down the street, and before them the beautiful girl paces. One: - E that with such the girl to oversleep, I am
BY and ten thousand did not regret! Another: - In any case ten, here I and twenty am not sorry! The third: - Yes you that!
takoy beauty, such beauty! Such the girl it is necessary to dress, put, the road the car to present, in restaurant to drive each
vecher! Here the girl turns around: - forgive who from you told the third? Armenians chorus: - Yes you go, go -
MY so, among themselves we talk...

*****

By some miracle the national team of Armenia reached the final of a WC on futbolu.
igrayut from Brazilian national team. There is the 20th minute of a match, the score 0:0. One of defenders of Armenia forces down Ronaldo nearby of
OT of a penalty area. The judge without reflecting appoints a penalty. Ronaldo puts to himself a ball, runs up. and shocked
ostanavlivayetsya... "Wall" costs the back to it and facing gate... The judge approaches and asks:
- At you everything is all right with brains? You look not there!!!
-It at you not everything is all right with brains, you think we will miss chance to see this smart goal???

*****

The Georgian on a sofa lies, cries, laughs, wool from a breast shreds tears and in a basket skladyvayet.
sprashivayut
-That you sob yes wool tear?
-Georgia did not implement the plan for wool, and the party told "A skin pay off" with
-A of that then you laugh?
-Yes Armenians did not implement the plan for eggs...

*****

The Georgian lies, tears at himself from a breast wool and puts in a bag, and that cries, laughs. At it sprashivayut:
-You that cry?
-Yes Georgia did not implement the plan for wool. The party told, do, what want, but that the plan vypolnili.
- And that you laugh?
-Yes Armenia did not implement the plan for eggs!