Jokes about the characters

Read funny Jokes about Harry Potter

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Ron:
-Well simply heart is covered with blood as I see these alcoholized animals!
germiona:
-Yes that you, in the same place only three frogs...
RON:
-That's it - three frogs. And alcohol - liters ten!!!

*****

Ron - the fan of "Pulyashchy Guns" gathered on kvidditch. His Hermione tormozit:
-You it where?
-On kvidditch!
-You that, "Pulyashchy Guns" more me love? Yes I and "Osmingtonsky Wasps" more you love
-!

*****

Ron comes back from examination. Parents ask, what impression on it was made by the examining - professor of Flitvik.
-Very devout person. When I answered, he continually raised eyes up and spoke: "My God!"

*****

Ron! Never object Hermione, suffer 5 minutes, and she will make it!

*****

Ron leaves from examination in potions, Garri:
-runs up to it You wrote something?
-Is not present, the Fool handed over pure list.
-! now Sneyp will think that I wrote off at you!!!

*****

Ron and Harry, absolutely drunk, rocking, go down the street. Suddenly Ron speaks:
-Harry, we argue on a vodka box, what the first word which will be told by my wife when sees me, will be "hare"? Harry it is resolute vozrazhayet:
-Ron, you that, the fool? You drunk in scrap! Besides the wife at you the spiteful stinker. Ron not unimayetsya:
-Well let's argue, was frightened? They argued, approach the Ronovy apartment, that rings a door, the wife opens. It to it and speaks:
-Hare, it I! It in otvet:
- The Hare?! Yes that you died, a goat damned!

*****

Ron - Garri:
- The Wife ran away to my best friend!
-As far as I know, Draco to you the friend never byl.
- And became now.

*****

Ron and Harry walk on some maglovsky city and pass by apteki.
ron interesuyetsya:
-Listen, Harry, and what it for a symbol - a shot glass and a snake?
-Is professor Snape ice cream eats.

*****

Ron and Harry sit on a bench in Hogvarts's park. Harry laughs loudly how sumasshedshiy.
-Well you, Harry, laugh? I do not see anything ridiculous! You also cannot see
-A. You sit on my bread with jam.

*****

Ron and Hermione consider a big can with the alcoholized frogs. Ron speaks:
-I cannot quietly look at these alcoholized frogs!
germiona:
-Yes them here all steam shtuk.
-That's it - frogs of steam, and alcohol - liters ten!

*****

Ron of Germione:
-Hermione, you me are necessary as zhenshchina.
germiona sweet golosom:
-Yes, to RON.
-Yes not in that sense! My stick fell in a female toilet, you could not get to me it?

*****

Ron, looking at Zhivoglota:
-Nenavizhu of cats! Germiona:
- Yes you it is simple to train them you are not able!

*****

Ron tells Garri:
-Likely to us it will be very heavy to lose Germionu.
-Of course hard! It is almost impossible!

*****

Ron tells Garri:
-I had a parrot. Called buttocks, very much he sweet loved...
-Well and?.
-Stuck together!

*****

Ron with friends play in the yard. From a window golos:
-Ron, quickly domoy.
-Well, mothers, it is possible still slightly?
-Well, still on slightly and home.

*****

Ron married Loong Lavgud and went to a honeymoon trip, from where sent to mother sovu:
" Dear mummy! To us very well together! I am so happy! "
molli shrugged shoulders, having read pismo:
-Nichego to itself, a feature! She already taught him to lie!.

*****

Ron digs a hole. By there passes Hermione, Ron asks ego:
-, what you do?
-my rat died, I want it pokhoronit.
- And why such big hole for a little rat?
-Yes because it in your fucking cat!

*****

Ron in a maglovsky bakery:
-U you is rolls with poppy?
prodavshchitsa:
-A can to you still a long loaf with heroin?

*****

Ron: What can be more disgusting than when you bite off apple - see a worm there?
germiona: When you bite off apple and you see a half-worm there...

*****

Ron addresses to Germione:
-My dear, only, gentle, sweet, kind, hot, harmonous, good, desired, favourite, native, unique, unsurpassed! Child, branch, swallow, rybonka, sparrow, kisonka, lapushka, my chickabiddy, turtle-dove, my dear, lebedushka, sudarushka! Zorenka, an asterisk, a nanny-goat, the sun, zolotets, a floret, a call, rucheechek, a trostinochka, a dewdrop, a fuzz, a krovinka, a charm, a joy, the sweetheart, delight, an ideal, beauty washing, the clear head, a doll, the baby, the picture, treasure, dream washing, the song, destiny, pleasure, hope, madam, the tsarevna, the goddess! Soul diamond, light of eyes! Heart pearl!. Well, be you the person, well let's write off a domashka! …

*****

Ron, addressing to Germione:
-You saw that I behind the back of professor Stebl of a mandrake any watered with muck?
-Is not present... I watered
-A!

*****

Ron pechalnyy:
- And at dacha the Colorado beetle ate my potato... I to myself fried potatoes, turned away for a second - there is no potato!

*****

Ron runs up to Malfoyu:
-Stop! I will Shoot!
-Stoyu.
-I Shoot.

*****

Ron approaches Sneggu and speaks:
-Professor, your task is performed! But I nothing prosil.
-So I anything also did not do
-...

*****

Ron already almost lost hope to achieve reciprocity from Hermione, at last decided to take an extreme step - took a guitar and went at night to it under a window to sing the serenade. Hermione hour, another, the third listened to it... At last did not sustain, approached a window and it is loud saida:
-Ron, what a pity, that do not show you on the TV!
-That, is pleasant to you how I sing? - was delighted on.
-Is not present. Simply then you could be switched off.

*****

Ron felt a smell of burning and, really, Potter from round the corner ran out …

*****

Ron brought to Hermione at Birthday sergi.
-Thanks, darling! - she speaks. - And suddenly diamonds not the presents?
-do not joke so! - Ron answers. - It that turns out, I in vain sikly spent five?

*****

Ron tells Harry about the family: My grandmother started going on 5 km a day when her was 60. To it now 97 - and we have no concept, where it.

*****

- Ron, and Snape really comes back this Hogvarts-expressom?
-do not distract, Harry, untwist rails further.

*****

Ron washes jeans in a bathroom and strongly swears: - Presently it is impossible to trust anybody!. Continues to wash jeans and to repeat: - Presently it is impossible to trust anybody, even to himself, after all only wanted to break wind...

*****

Ron Weasley gathered in the Forbidden wood gribov.
(memoirs) of
yesterday I sorted griby.
chervivye postponed, and good fried and sjel.
potom I undertook for chervivye.
izjedennye places I cut out and postponed, and good fried and sjel.
zatem I was accepted to that ostalos.
akkuratno took out all worms and postponed IKH.
A mushroom pulp fried and sjel.
… worms I then too sjel.
ikh did not fry - bothered.

*****

Ron will try to persuade Germionu:
-Come to me in the evening: in a bedroom for boys will be nobody! She gave itself to prevail upon and came. And there - anybody...

*****

- Ron, you though bought flowers me!
-Why, Germi? you still the live!...

*****

Rhone bring to madam Pomfri. It asks:
-That you disturbs him?
-Me? Anything! But Harry disturbs that I ate him an owl...

*****

Rhone drag in school. It rests against all and krichit:
-Seven years!!! For what?!

*****

Russian remote place. Small provincial psikhushka.
-Igor Dmitriyevich... mm... Harry from what you decided, what you the wizard?
-Hagrid so said yes to me! From next palaty:
-Anything I did not tell
golos to it!

*****

It is for quite some time now noticed that "places for kisses" at movie theaters chose dementor.

*****

Griffindor's national team on Quidditch at last won against Slytherin's national team... on hockey... the female... the junior. The victory is awarded... on absence of the opponent.

*****

Slytherin's national team on Quidditch always pleases fans! This time Grifindor's fans...