Jokes about the characters

Read funny Jokes about Harry Potter

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Narcissa quarrels with the husband. In a quarrel fuse she cries out:
-Yes I!. Yes I!. Yes I slept with Voldemort!!!
-A I!. And I!. And I - too!!!

*****

The chief tells off the manager for systematic delay.
-So why you were late today, yesterday, the day before yesterday and so on?
-You see mister chief, on biorhythms I - "owl"...
-Ah, an owl, means? Well, will carry from tomorrow mail!

*****

We begin morning proverku:
tom Reddl - here!
karkarov - here!
pettigryu - here!
... And well you on a horse-radish where you in a night from a mortuary will get to.

*****

slovarik:
buklya is small an owl of Garri
volan - Mort - Dark Lord
kornelius Fadzh is a minister magii
severus Snegg is a spiteful teacher zeliy
avada Kedavra - a spell Ubiystva
sam-Znayesh-Kto - the Lord Voldemort means

*****

Nevill:
- The Grandmother - You heard how I from a stick fired? Grandmother! Babushkaaaaa!!!!!!

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Nevill:
-Hermione, Snape did not take over my work, told to remake, look where at me oshibka.
germiona, critically examining svitok:
-It is visible, in DNA

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Nevill speaks to the grandmother:- The granny, you are afraid of nothing? - No, road! - Neither elephant, nor lion, crocodile? - No, darling - Oh, then you can look at my diary...

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Nevill speaks babushke:
- The Granny, you are afraid of nothing?
-Is not present, the road!
-elephant, neither lion, nor crocodile?
-Is not present, milyy.
-Oh, then you can look at my diary...

*****

- Nevill, I hope, I will not see how you write off the control?
-Ya too I hope, professor.

*****

Nevill read the phrase in Lokons's book: "Win against the enemy it the weapon!" Decided to try and caused on a duel of Voldemorta.
naznachili a duel place in a clean floor, and there at this time was dense tuman.
voldemort: (and in fog it is very badly visible) Awad Kedavr's
-! (missed the mark)
nevill: (and in fog also it is very badly audible)
- The Grass for a centaur! (at Voldemort horse feet grew) Krutsio's
voldemort:
-! (again missed the mark) Kryuchio's
NEVILL:
-! (Voldemort crooked)
A Nevill thinks: "What such still to conjure to it?" Imperio's
voldemort:
-!
NEVILL:
-is correct! And feathers!

*****

Nevill asks at babushki:
-Women and why the earth spins?
-Ah you are a wretch! Again drank a dedova self-race!!!

*****

Recently the new magic alarm clock was let out. The first ten minutes on
prosto calls, following five are reproduced by a sound working raketnogo
dvigatelya before start, the last two uses foul language by voice dekana
slizerinskogo fakulteta.
statistika showed that most of students wake up in posledniye
dve minutes.

*****

Recently Nevil Longbottom received new substance from which nobody can still wash hands.

*****

Recently Ron visited on a visit at Garri.
druzya-volshebniki ask it how live magly.
- When you entered, what to you first of all were evident? - asked Nevill.
-it the aunt, - that answered, - still scratches remained

*****

Near future. Shooting of "Harry Potter and the
Deathly Hallows". The director inspects gathered akterskuyu
gruppu and maliciously asks: - "Well, pokoynichka,
nachnem?"

*****

Unknown hooligans outraged upon a monument to Albus Dumbledore in Hogmidsky park of Magic. Early in the morning it with the lifted-up cloak is found rolling on the park avenue.

*****

No, Snape resembles on грейпфрукт.
Он tam.
a we here.

*****

Nicholas Flamel on magglovsky sude:
-So. You are accused of charlatanism. You sold to trustful people an elixir of eternal life. Whether you were condemned earlier?
-Yes. In 1451, 1639, 1893 and 1904.

*****

Nobody knows about himself so much, Dumbledore how many knows about it.

*****

New potion for spots from professor Snape: The result affects the person from within.

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New deodorant "Harry Potter"! Destroys a smell of burning and a smell of sweat!

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Notr-Damme de Hogwarts: "Harry outcast with a damnation on a forehead, It will never be happy on a sweeper... "
dusherazdirayushchaya history!

*****

Nightmare of professor Snape: Harry Potter was taken on Slytherin.

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Night. Lyutsius Malfoy sleeps in a smart bed in the mansion on the bank of the Thames. The door is suddenly opened, the tousled Dobby and oret:
- The Sir rushes into a bedroom, the Sir wake up more likely! The river flooded banks!
lyutsius (is angry):
-Pig! How you dare to shout so? Immediately leave and report properly!
dobbi leaves. In a few minutes the door was again opened and in an open aperture the stream vody.
dobbi rushed (with feeling of the fulfilled duty):
-Thames, sir!

*****

Night. Bedroom of boys of the 5th course. Awful shout of Ron Weasley. Harry prossyp?etsia:
-Ron what happened?
- The Nightmare dreamed!
-Well it was only a dream... And what dreamed you? Ron (reddening): Well I cannot tell
-to you! Well though hint
-, I am your best friend!
-Well, generally, Sam-Znayesh-Kto were thrust to me by Sam-Znayesh-Chto Sam-Znayesh-Kuda!

*****

Night, hour two or the half of and third. Snegg sleeps in the bed. Call by phone. Vsklochenny professor sprosonya:
-Hallo!
B to a receiver a voice of Garri:
-you Sleep, a reptile!? And we learn...

*****

At night someone knocks Germi at the door. Opens, for RON
-Germi there, you have ink?
No, Ron. You that sduret??? Go spat
through half an hour it again comes with the same вопросом
Гермиона:
- there is no ink at me, leave alone! I brought
-A!

*****

Well it is time to earn also money, - Harry Potter told and painted svoyu
palochku black and white strips.

*****

- How it is necessary to look after a sweeper?
-U you strange tastes, but try to present it flowers at first...

*****

About that it at an entrance to the Secret Room, Harry Potter guessed on a huge color inscription: "With mongooses the entrance is strictly forbidden!!!"

*****

The generalized shape potteromana.
-in round points, as GARRI;
-red, as RON;
-clever, as other-wordly Germiona;
-, as the Moon.

*****

Harry Potter trained the Curl to speak. Snape's owl will see and shouts: "Sneyp freak! Snape freak!" Well Snape also removes points from Griffindor. Penalties bothered Harry, went to a market, changed the Curl for an owl of a syashchennik. And here Snape saw an owl, and she is silent. Approaches it, and she is silent. It to it podskazyat: "Sneyp freak! Snape freak!" And owl in reply: "You speak truth, my son!"

*****

The announcement in "the Evening Oracle": "The magician who found in "A copper full of holes" the folder with a signature stamp "Top secret: the new plan of achievement of world supremacy", we ask most to impose on ourselves five krutsiatus and to one Awad. MOUSTACHE."

*****

The announcement in "The daily prophet": The school of magic and a charodeystvo of Hogvarts incurred
segodnya heavy utratu.
skonchalsya professor of a zelyevareniye Severus Snape. At numerous requests of pupils and teachers a funeral will take place in 10.00, 12.00, 15.30 and 18.00.

*****

The announcement in London gazete:
"Due to the release of the new book of J. Rolling "Harry Potter the i
prints-half-blooded", administration of the station King cross-country announces the tender na
postavku foam rubber for facing colon on a platform No. 9. Trebuyutsya
sanitary for first-aid treatment to the people trying to pass na
platformu No. 9 3\4. And also the group of the psychiatrists capable objyasnit
poterpevshim that Harry Potter does not exist."

*****

The announcement in ''Prophet' 'of
yesterday malefactors got into Harry and Ginny (v devichestve Uizli) Potterov's house. Stole some nail varnishes, false eyelashes, something from clothes and firm lipstick. Fortunately, from prophetic Ginny was gone nothing.

*****

Objyavleniya:
vnimaniye! Excursion in Azkaban is offered. Places in a back row for kisses.

*****

One wizard came to professor Trelawney. She looks in the magic sphere and speaks:
- At you as I see, two children.
-you so consider It! - the wizard answers. - I am the father of three children!
professor mysteriously smiles and otvechayet:
-you so consider It!

*****

One Revelling speaks drugomu:
-you Represent, there are we with Lyutsius in the evening down the street yesterday and suddenly hear: "Help! Kill! "
-Well and what you?
-Well helped. Killed...