Jokes about the characters

Read funny Jokes about Harry Potter

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One of the final chapters of the sixth book. Harry Potter with associates from "Dumbledore's Group" comes into a phone booth of the Ministry of Magii.
prokhladny female golos:
-Hello! Tell, please, your names and the purpose vizita.
-Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ronald Weasley etc. Our purpose - shift of Fadzha from the minister's post!
-Welcome to the Ministry of Magic! Attach, please, badges of visitors to top odezhde.
garri are taken in hand by the badge the inscription on which says - "Harry Potter. Mission is impracticable".

*****

Once Snape comes with check to Slytherin, comes into one room...
A roll empty bottles there, everything is scattered. Ha of a bed sleeps drunk Draco Malfoy. Well, it, naturally, parted forcibly...
drako woke up, looked a muddy view of the dean.
"Will dream such!" - Draco murmured and again leaned back on a pillow.

*****

About Hagrid Harry's lodge saw Drako.
-of That this is Malfoy dangles here? - asked Harry Rona.
-You that! Forgot?! We hung up it yesterday.

*****

About the magical settlement of Kolno chess tournament was organized. Hermione against a dragon of Ronana.
semya Weasley played was divided. Parents should have worked, Ginny was not interested in chess, and here boys went bolet.
charli Weasley sends home speaking pismo.
-to Ginny, write down, please, news, and that letter cheap, will evaporate soon... You write? "Do not worry. Hermione killed Ronan at Kolno" .
dzhinni writes down: "Do not worry for Bill. Germi - it, and Ron - it. Cool!"

*****

He ate a herring pack, a pickle and washed down with milk. Look at movie theaters - "Harry Potter and the confidential room"!

*****

It departed, but promised to return! - Harry Potter answered all inquiries of Severus Snape from volume where Sirius got to Faded from Hogvarts's tower.

*****

The skilled linguist will train in folklore. Lethal effect of your knowledge garantirovan.
portret Mrs. Blek

*****

Revelation of professor of Sneypa:
"Tried to do two things at once yesterday. Caught both. Hares cannot still believe …"

*****

Hunting. Hagrid, Ron and Harry. Hagrid lays down on the earth, presses an ear...
potom rises, speaks:
-Nearby bisons. Recently proshli.
garri and Ron delighted. Ask how guessed?
-Yes here, all ear in bizony shit. Warm...

*****

Very warm pozhelaniye:
"you mantikrab feed Idi..."

*****

The next duel between Harry Potter and Lordom
volan de Mort. critchit:
-to You me not to win against Harry, with me force!
volan de Mort, slowly getting from under a cloak avtomat:
- And in what your force, the brother?

*****

Next explosion of a copper. Wounded Longbottom of Sneypu:
-Professor, I will die?
sneyp, zlo:
-is obligatory!

*****

- Pansi, and somebody said to you, what you very beautiful?
-Is not present!
-Here pancake, what all honest...

*****

- Father! Pour to me still vodka! - asks Drako.
-You will pull out, the child! - Lyutsius.
-of Fathers answers, and you pour and depart!

*****

Before Christmas Harry, Ron and Hermione mold a snowman on the street and all through got wet. Mcgonagall, passing by, whether at them asks:
-it is cold to you?
-to us is not present, and here to Malfoy, probably, holodno.
- And why to it it has to be cold?
-A it at us - a framework in a snowman...

*****

- Percy likes girls?. - with amazement Ron told, having listened to story of the sister.

*****

Persi:
- The Father, I was tired to bear Ginny. I will better take from you a bag with vodkoy.
otets:
-You that? And suddenly you will drop?

*****

The peach is a not only valuable fruit, but also the head of school and rare cattle...

*****

The personal site of Dolores of Ambridzh.
oformleniye - all page in lacy patterns, with drawn kotyatami.
privetstviye on the main page: "Hello, my dear! "
nadpis on the page of information: "Information is closed until the Ministry considers it necessary to publish it" .
nadpis at a forum: "Here nobody is interested in your opinion - the Ministry knows better" .
nadpis on a chat: "It is possible to refrain from talk".

*****

Remus Lupin writes the letter to Azkaban to the friend to Sirius Bleku.
"with Darling Sirius! As you were put, so urine is not present! There is nobody to help about the house! The kitchen garden is not dug up, potato is not planted! "
prikhodit otvet:
" Remus, you is better in a kitchen garden do not dig, and even you will be put, and to me term will be added! "
RIMUS:
" Sirius, after your letter to me arrived auroras! All kitchen garden was dug over, nothing was found! Left angry, used foul language! "
SIRIUS:
" Than could - to those helped! Itself plant potato!"

*****

Plakat:
fred and George against own shop, before them - the mountain of candies, tablets, powders and other drebedeni.
-Heartburn? Nausea? Vomiting? Abdominal distension? Headache? Diarrhea? Scrofula? What, truth? Hurrah, everything worked!!!

*****

Based on "Terminator": You heard
-? There is a nuclear war against cars! Why you are so quiet,
dambldor? And if THEY come to Hogvarts?
-Calm down, Minerva! All these maglovsky features do not work here...

*****

Completely in Atsio at a full abzatsio (it is difficultly to present … probably it is necessary to experience)

*****

Ron approaches a sneyp and speaks:
-Provessor your task vypolneno.
-But I anything nezadoval.
- And I did nothing.

*****

Train, night, compartment. On the top shelf Ron, under him Hermione sleeps. Heart-rending shout of Germiony:
-Aaaaaaa is in the middle of the night distributed... Ron, wake up - You spoil!!!
-Yes I generally also do not sleep...

*****

Devourers of Death caught Harry, selected a stick. Well, think that with it delat.
tut one of Devourers nakoldovyvat a basin to cement. In this basin put Garri.
stoit, dries, tries to get out. Here because of backs of Devourers Draco runs out and approaches one of devourers: "Hi, father!". Then it is developed, notices Harry, and on Malfoy Jr. face there is a gadenky smile: "That, was stuck, the Four-eyes?"

*****

Late at night there is Hermione home through the Forbidden wood. Suddenly slyshit:
-to Stand!
ONA stopped.
-to Lie!
legla.
-Creep!
popolzla. Suddenly over an ear it is sympathizing Hagrid's voice:
-Hermione, you is bad? I here with the Canine am engaged, I look you creep...

*****

Caught Gildera Lockhart a goldfish, she begged and speaks emu:
-Release me, I to you will execute any desire...
-I Want to receive Merlin's award of the first degree for geroizm.
i there was Lockhart one odineshenek with the broken stick against ten Revelling in Death...

*****

Caught Filch two yearling in corridors of Hoga, holds them for shkirka, slightly stirring up and oret:
-to me to spit that it is raining! I ask, why raincoats wet?!!

*****

Devourers of Death caught Harry, Ron and Hermione. Locked in a shed. In some days look, and they ran away. They were caught again and asked as they managed to run away. Ron speaks:
-we Sit day, we sit another, and for the third day Harry noticed that at a shed one wall is not enough.

*****

Two snakes in the jungle creep. And the elephant meets halfway. One another speaks:
-Give we will play a trick on an elephant!
A another and otvechayet:
-Will be enough, Ron, of the old man Hottabychem already joked!

*****

Got Snape and the Black ambassador of death on heavens.
NU, God sees how that already started sticking to angels and thinks - and I will throw them in a hell, will be fried a century - another, can uspokotsya...
prikhodit God in a hell in century also sees that a temnotishcha and a holodina there, and he speaks: "Why, type, so cold and darkly? "
golos from darkness: "And you bend down, throw firewood..."

*****

It is time to start earning money, - Harry Potter thought and painted the magic wand black and white stripes.

*****

After acquaintance to the wizard Churov Harry Potter threw out nafig svoyu
yakoby a magic wand.

*****

After the first year of training in Hogvartsa Draco Malfoy comes home. Tells mame:
- And at Mcgonagall's school asked me yesterday, whether there are at me brothers or sisters. And I told, what I am an only child in semye.
- And what she answered you? She told
-: "Glory to Merlin!"

*****

After that Slizerintsa made with Griffindortsami, they are obliged to marry them.

*****

Last minutes of life of Snape. Around all gathered shkola.
makgonagall, wiping slezy:
-It such hero! He so much for us made! It is necessary to bury him on the first razryadu.
germiona:
-Yes, of course. But we on the first buried Dumbledore. Can the second will be enough?
RON:
-C it and
sneyp third enough! opens glaza:
-I Can also itself I will go to a cemetery???

*****

Looked at Harry Potter - the phrase "Made laugh you by miracle won against a dragon" - i
eto after MAGIC tournament.

*****

- Potter! I noticed you in corridors of school after eleven evenings yesterday. This time it will manage to you in ten points. Next time I will fine twenty five...
- The Sir, we are business people! How much is subscription on a semester?