Jokes about holidays

Read funny Jokes about April 1

<** Previous Topic          Next Topic **>

436  437  438  439  440  441  442  443  444  445  446  447

America. There is a court session. The respondent - 86-year-old starushentsiya.
rasskazyvayet:
-Business was so. In the silent sunny day I sat in a public garden on a small bench and fed pigeons. Suddenly the young man and kladet
mne a hand on a hip sits down by me. At first I wanted to be indignant, but it became gently and tenderly to stroke me, and to me it became so good that I promolchala.
ved passed forty years since I the last time was with the man. Then it began to iron my breast, and it became even better for me. I
togda I exclaimed: "Take me, take me all. I all yours!" But here he jumped and shouted: "Since April first you, the granny!" Tell, your honor,
chto I made not so, having shot this villain?

*****

Anedot from life: Once on April 1 palmed off on the chairman of the Commission at Prezidente
rossii on recovery of victims of political repressions Alexander Yakovlev for the signature the letter on the form of this organization where instead of "on recovery of victims" stood "on the organization of the victims" - "substitution was carried out" by means of the copier by two naughty officials. The chairman did not pay to it attention and paper signed.

*****

On April 1 in bolnitse.
- The Doctor, and you have all black back!
-A at you, sick, limfotsetanovy nurokuamit, than the khan is shorter.

*****

April 3 - The April Fools' Day on Estonian calendar.

*****

On April 1 George Bush comes to Kiev to support Ukraine in its aspiration to enter into NATO. So beautifully and officially solved otmetit
den the Fool in the Ukrainian capital.

*****

On April 1 - the only day in a year when the people trust the authorities.

*****

April 1? Yes here all life one continuous nayebalovo!

*****

April 1. To Khodorkovsky come into a chamber blossoming Valdis Pelsh i
tatyana Arno with a huge bouquet tsvetov:
-Mikhail! We are glad to you to report is there was a Draw program!

*****

On April 1 it is possible to tell anything, even the truth. all the same nobody will believe.

*****

April 1. The husband comes back home. And there his wife with his best friend strikes. The man, parting hands:
-It is very ridiculous, a pancake!

*****

April 1... You already wrote to
A on doors of your neighbors the festive word H@Y?!!!!!

*****

1 aprelya.
- The Madam, you have all back belaya.
- At me all body such...

*****

On the best April Fools' draw won competition prezident
putin against V. V.
ON called Yanukovych - to congratulate on a victory at presidential elections.

*****

Competition on the best April Fools' draw which is carried out radiostantsiyey
" Freedom" was won by the president of Russia Vladimir Putin. He personally called in prison to the former oligarch Mikhail Khodorkovsky and told that all charges are dismissed from it, all claims on taxes are removed from "Yukos", and the Yuganskneftegaz company will be returned to it. Until the end of day Khodorkovsky had an excellent mood and at the president too.

*****

Watson tells Holmsu:
-of Holmes, you did not see our favourite Mrs. Hudson?
- Rise by an attic, the doctor, it was hung up …
vatson in a panic resorts on an attic and sees that there who is not present, having calmed down the DOCTOR goes down vniz.
-Holmes, but it net.
-Since APRIL 1, there! OHA HANGS IN the CELLAR

*****

Here some years Ivanov received on April 1 the telegram: "Yours babushka
avstralii at deaths door. Report an account number for the translation of 10 million inheritance". Ivanov every time laughed to a silly joke and tore the telegram. At this time doctors again forced the poor old woman to live in far Australia a year more until her grandson grows wiser.

*****

- Commandant! - Alexander I in the hearts of What Bashutskomu-told it at you an order! Whether it is possible to imagine! Where monument to Peter the Great?.
- On Senatorial ploshchadi.
-Was and splyl. Tonight stole. Go find!
bashutsky, pale, left

*****

On April 1st, 2006 RAO UES of Russia across all Primorsky Krai planned fan connections of electricity. In some houses will connect even hot water.

*****

Declarations on the income of the President and the Prime minister of the Russian Federation can be submitted on April 1.

*****

The April Fools' Day - the only holiday which unites people of all skin colors, all age and all religions.

*****

- Why the April Fools' Day is celebrated on April 1, and Day of blondes - on May 31?.
- Because by May 31 reach blondes everything pervoaprelskiye
shutki...

*****

- Dimon, to the people you was fallen in love, and I decided to leave you on the second srok.
- The Truth? Oh, thanks, Vladimir to Vladimirovich.
-I Joke, the fool. Since April First you :)

*****

Dear Petersburgers! On April 1 in honor of April Fools' Day bridges will be drawn at any time and without the prevention.

*****

The 1st of April. Kremlin. Vladimir Vladimirovich urgently summons the cabinet in full strength. In 15 min. all gather at it in an office with the frightened persons. Vladimir Vladimirovich gloomy strolls before the officials standing still, then sharply gets the nominal PM and starts shooting coolly in turn in kazhdogo.
-About what talents at me in the government. So naturally fall. Nado
podumat..., - here his reflections interrupted sekretar:
-Vladimir Vladimirovich you by phone supruga.
vladimir Vladimirovich with chagrin interrupts process and suits to telefonu
-to Vovochk's ALE
-, you will swear of course, but I forgot to execute tvoyu
prosbu. You remember, yesterday you asked to load yours pistoletik holostymi
patronami?

*****

The 1st of April. The man comes home happy, simply shines. Wife:
-That happened to it? Yes you present to
-, I now so deceived the taxi driver!!! I gave money to it, and itself did not go!!!

*****

If on April 1 you do not joke, you feel like the veriest fool. And poshutish
- The first.

*****

One more amendment to traffic regulations which so far from us is hidden: by April 1 on yellow vests of staff of traffic police the cost of their services has to be specified. As now it is made at workers of municipal parkings.

*****

It is a pity that presidential elections were appointed not to April 1 - it would be somehow more logical...

*****

The wife beat own husband. The defendant ask to tell how was delo.
- At first he called me from work home, then undressed and put to bed,
A with idiotic laughter declared then that today on April 1!

*****

From Mukhosransky novostey.
"Yesterday the State Duma accepted ahead of schedule in the last reading the collection of new Laws on work. Including: "About increase three times pensions to the Russian pensioners",
"About Quadruple Increase in Salaries to the Russian State Employees", "About Decrease of Taxes by Two and a Half Times", "About Double Increase in Duration of Holidays" and still a lot of things-a lot of things drugoye.
primechaniye. All Laws come into force immediately since April 1, 2050".

*****

amerikantsev:
"And you have a favourite April Fools' joke all white president!".

*****

Medvedev comes home after the working day, and the door slams and closed behind it. Tries to open - it is impossible. Chyo for a crap, thinks?
podkhodit to call the master to telephone - does not work. Takes the mobile phone - does not catch a network. Turns on radio - everywhere one noise. Includes a TV set - on all channels transfer the same message diktora:
-Due to the impossibility for health reasons of Dmitry to Anatolyevicha
medvedeva to fulfill the duties, Committee on Extraordinary Polozheniyu
vo to the head with the prime minister Putin decides...
medvedev in a panic starts rushing about on the apartment, to bang at doors, windows, heart-rendingly to shout "swine, traitors!!!"... In ten minutes the door opens, and into the apartment come cheerful Putin with champagne and a box of candies, and a lot of the smiling colleagues ministers. Putin:
-Dimchik, excuse, forgot you to congratulate for April 1... With 19 avgusta
tebya, the road!

*****

Millions of investors "2011" celebrated with MMM on April 1 the professional holiday.

*****

The Minsk subway too prepares the jokes for April 1. Now a handrail and steps will go in different directions.

*****

The 1st of April posvyashchayetso
segodnya the pontiff danced a tap dance, and then, by tradition podzraviv believers with a holiday of the first of April, died.

*****

The husband comes home from work and to the wife speaks: - So, give quickly undress. Quickly, quickly, and in a bed. I already hate. - How "undress"? For what? You years three as forgot about it to idumat. Really...? - Yes undress, I speak to you. Now you will see that such the real sex. - Now, now, I fast, fast.- In total? It is ready? Undressed? Uf-f. At last though someone managed to be pinned since April first.

*****

- Why you submit the tax declaration always on April 1?
- That, if something happens, could tell then that it was the joke.

*****

Announcement. Since April 1 the procuring warehouse of JSC Detskaya radost begins delivery of bags with gifts for New 2008 Estonian Dedam
morozam.

*****

The announcement in the Odessa court on April 1: All decisions, resolutions and definitions of court accepted today can be cancelled as the appeal in any other court on any, even to the most ridiculous bases.