Jokes about holidays

Read funny Jokes about March 8

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From the diary: The drill broke. Now the wife should buy the new for March 8th.

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(very much restraining)
ChTO the most difficult for the administrator in the morning on March 8th, after days of fuss with the server?...

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To a choice of gifts for a holiday, especially if this holiday is called as the international Women's Day, it is necessary to approach carefully and with humour.

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On March 8 the Johnson and Johnson firm prepared a surprise for a holiday for all women: every tenth tampax - with a cracker!

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To each man who bought a frying pan for March 8 - a helmet as a gift!

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Every year on March 8th I do to the wife same, but very long-awaited podarok.
vynoshu a fir-tree.

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As you will meet on February 23, so on March 8 and you will carry out. Ancient popular wisdom.

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Both it dvadtsattretyefevralyakntsya, and it vosmimartntsya.

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- What women are pleasant to you - clever or beautiful?
- Neither those, nor others. I need only you!

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What March, is so much also flowers in a bouquet for the mother-in-law.

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- What gift you are going to give the wife by March 8?
- I Will execute her long dream: I will throw out a fir-tree on figs...

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The NTV channel congratulates dear women on a holiday on March 8 and offers this remarkable day broadcast of a supermatch on Futbolu
chelsi-Barcelona. Only for you, lovely ladies!

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When the father sat down to do paper flowers in the evening, children knew: the salary is spent on drink, but tomorrow on March 8.

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- You whom will congratulate for March 8?
- Sister, daughter, mother-in-law... son-in-law.
-A son-in-law and?
- Son-in-law and.
Ya told: son-in-law mother-in-law.

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Best of all that woman who not the 7th and не
8th-go, but the 9th goes to work with flowers in the morning celebrated the 8th of March. Which presented to it at work of the 7th...

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The best gift to the woman for March 8 - the gift given by the hands.
luchshy a gift to the man for February 23 - the gift given by the mouth.

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- Darling, you prepared for me a gift for March 8?
- Of course, dorogaya.
- And it will be pleasant to me? - If it is not pleasant, you will return to me, I dreamed of such rod long ago.

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- You when home bring lovers though clean traces for nimi.
chey it is a tie?!
- You that, forgot? Same my gift to you for February 23rd,
A here whose is lipstick?
-A is my gift to you for March 8th!

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The boy approaches the father and asks:
- The Father and why on March 8 in a calendar with red color it is allocated?
OTETS answers with an anguish in golose:
-It is color of our men's blood, the sonny!

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- Mother! - Masha addressed to mother 8 marta.
-You should not wash the dishes this day and do another heavy rabotu.
-Mother was delighted and Masha dobavila:
-began to untie perednik.
i I Think here, mummy that after midnight you can complete it.

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On March 9, 2035, news: Once again the female holiday was marked by incidents, including extraordinary. The group of the ungirdled drunk women trashed store windows of shops (with dezabeljy and perfume), overturned cars. To calm hooligans in holiday for days the company of conscripts of airborne forces was let out. Mass media already repeatedly urged the city authorities to take measures and for a start at least to limit sale of alcohol on March 6,7 and 8 in the downtown.

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On March 8 - day of punishment for gifts for February 23.

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March 8... What good prazdnik.
v this day we want to congratulate all women of the whole world, we want to present them pleasure and happiness. We give gifts, flowers, we kiss, we tell tender words, we praise. This only day we do not abuse them. But there is a woman whom on this holiday nobody congratulates but only abuses and operates, however, as well as in any other day. This woman does not feel arrival of a holiday, on March 8 all about her forget, forget about her female beauty and tenderness... Her name? Windows operating System. Not only that on March 8 for it the usual working day moreover also strain it more: force to send all cards, to book tickets for balls on the Internet. And it all the same, she already managed to get used to this injustice and already almost forgot that she is a woman! But I will not allow such lawlessness and I will congratulate her...

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March 8. The wife washes the dishes. The husband reads the newspaper in front of the TV and remembers that today on March 8, and he did not buy a gift.

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8 March all women got up a bit earlier, made a breakfast, a lunch and a dinner, were tidied up in the apartment that they had more free time. After all today their holiday - the international Women's Day...

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8 Mart the son-in-law made a festive lunch, vacuumed in the apartment, wiped dust, washed up a floor, carefully washed up ware. Generally, was hardly in time before arrival of criminalists.

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8 Marta, the son-in-law decided to make pleasant to women - the wife and teshche.
zateyal he cleaning.... Washes a toilet bowl, tries, pykhtit.
podkhodit teshcha:
-Mine-mine... I now will shit there!

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8 Marta. Each woman this day wants that the eight turned into infinity.

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On March 8 - each man can admit honestly: "Today not my day!"

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March 8. Company. Men drink, women aside discuss the dela.
nakonets, one of them not vyderzhivayet:
-Well, in the end of the ends, today stickings will be??!

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On March 8 we will buy many flowers and a lot of vodka. And let all women will be beautiful!

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March 8 - International day of Girlfriends of Defenders of the Fatherland!

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8 Marta - International day of solidarity of workers at night.

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March 23 - International day of transvestites and hermaphrodites.

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8 Marta, it not only the International Women's Day, it also the international day of transvestites, and also men with female logic.

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8 Marta the husband is tipsy declared domoy:
-Expensive! In honor of such sincere holiday, I will open for you most zavetnuyu
zanachku! Here, look!. Wait... and where... where...?! On what shish I pants and a tie for February 23 presented
-A to you?!!!

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March 8. The husband decided to arrange to the wife a holiday, made a dinner, bought flowers, prepared a gift and waits for the beloved. Late at night call to a door. The husband opens, and there, on a threshold the wife … drunk, tousled VSYA.
ON:
- There would be at me a knife, I would pin up you. There would be a rope - strangled!
ONA:
-Yikk, and you me butt!

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March 8. The husband sits in a chair in front of the TV, reads now and then the newspaper, and the wife scrubs ware meanwhile. Suddenly dawned on it that today on March 8, and it did not prepare podarok.
husband (without coming off reading): Leave to
-ware, expensive, the eighth today, you will wash tomorrow.

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March 8.
husband reads the newspaper in front of the TV, the wife scrubs ware. Suddenly he remembers that today on March 8, and the gift did not buy.
husband (without distracting from reading): Leave
-, expensive, ware, today the eighth, you will finish washing tomorrow.