Jokes about holidays

Read funny Jokes about February 23

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On March 8 - day of punishment for gifts for February 23.

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- Darling, what you will present to me for St. Valentine's Day and on March 8?
-A if anything? Well then for February 23 you will receive nothing
-!
- Yes, truth?! Fuuuf, well thank God, agreed!

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- The Moscow time - 20 hours. For the feeble-minded - eight o'clock in the evening. For ensigns and officers - a big arrow on 12, small - on eight. For the senior officers - the figure eight reminds the woman's figure.

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At the meeting which took place on February 23 the Russian paratroopers warmly thanked Valentin Yudashkin for development of a new form odezhdy.
posle meetings the fashion designer was brought to resuscitation unit of institute of Sklifosovsky.

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For March 8 darling will present me otkrytku.
za that for February 23 I presented it britvu
za that on the past on March 8, he presented to me a bear,
ZA that on the past on February 23, I presented it knizhku.
na concessions war will never end going to nobody hochetsya.
eta!

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For February 23. The best gift is not honey, it and the prapor even will understand. Even a little, at least a half-hour, it is already good! But and furthermore whole night!

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Supervision: On February 23 - everywhere drunk men, on March 8 - everywhere drunk men.

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- Only on the eve of February 23 it is possible to see in the bus the smiling girl with just bought drill.

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Here for February 23 of the girl from accounts department of mate presented to us, so we with men of a half-pack smoked yesterday, did not guess yet that it should be made.

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Here for February 23 of mate presented to us, so I smoked half-packs yesterday until understood that it should be made!

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Not in money happiness, and in love!
prostoy, usual, human love to money.

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Cannot find the girlfriend before February 23 in any way - the law zhizni.
nikak cannot beat off from girlfriends before March 8 - Parkinson's law.

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Never I will forget, - the soldier speaks, - as fighters rushed into barracks. There was a fight! I - one, they are six. Eventually, I all of them forced to lay down on pol.
-As you made it?
- Is very simple. They tried to pull out me from under a bed.

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Never the country happens such defenseless, as in the evening on February 23!

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News with orbity.
yesterday the space station "Salyut" successfully joined a beer barrel, by mistake of started in space on February 23.

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- Well, with a Defender of the Fatherland Day, the sonny!
- of Mothers, fathers, well you really, can I still I will arrive!

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The loneliness is when on February 24 buy to yourself shaving foam.

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The loneliness is when the whole day correspond with the 30th beautiful little girls friends on schoolmates, and on February 23 to go not to a lump and any does not take the call!

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The father 5-year-old synu:
- When to you will be 18 years, you will urge to serve in armiyu.
- And I from it to an otkosh!
- That means to "otkosh"? And who will protect the Homeland? Here imagine that war began. If all argue as you, and nobody will go to be at war, what will be? All will be won!
posle of some pause the puzzled son speaks:
- The Father, I cannot understand in any way, who and whom will win if nobody goes to be at war...

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The officer asks the soldier why that went to army. The recruit decided to answer chestno:
-First, I want to protect Rodinu.
-Pravilno.
-Secondly, the service does me silnee.
-Truly!
- Thirdly, anybody also did not ask my consent.

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Very greedy girl told everything that she the hermaphrodite to receive gifts also for February 23.

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- The father, give me 2000 rubles, - speaks syn.
- And me - 1500, - asks doch.
- And it is necessary for me 3000, - adds Wife.
-Yes that happened today to you? - is surprised otets.
-You forgot? At you tomorrow on February 23!

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- The father, soon your holiday - on February 23!
- the Best gift for me will be your good marks, synok.
-Late! I already bought you a tie...

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- The father, - the father captain's son asks, is the truth, what military remain quiet in any situation? Or it is fairy tales for little fools?
- Is the truth, - answered otets.
- Then I will show you the school diary.

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- Father! On February 23 we congratulated you on mother. On March 8, we congratulated mother on you. And when you will congratulate together me?
- Following your holiday! We will congratulate you on April 1. In day of your angel.

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Alteration of holidays is not finished yet. For entire happiness it was necessary to declare still on February 23 in the Man's Afternoon in female baths, and on March 8 Women's Day in man's.

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- Petrov, you are an idiot!
- But, the captain …
- Is the order!

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According to the site 1jj.ru, on the eve of February 23 the profit of the Gillette company increases five times.

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At numerous requests of the veterans suffering from a sclerosis before February 23 once again will scroll series the Moscow saga with participation of a dog the Culm of the senior.

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At numerous requests of the fatherland to transform the Defender of the Fatherland Day in Day of Protection of the fatherland against the Defender of the fatherland.

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To present to the man for February 23 a bottle of vodka with a capacity of 0,25 l. it all the same what to present to the woman for March 8th the vibrator 5 centimeters long!

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Gifts for February 23 are investments into gifts for March 8.

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The girlfriend of the hostess helps to be moved away after celebration on February 23rd and gives sovety:
- The Orange peel collect, dry up and put in a case from a moth, - Cucumbers in sour cream are good as a cosmetic mask, - Mustard we will wash ware, -
- can … Drink up Vodka! - sharply the husband inserted hozyaykin, hvatanut a shot glass and returned the person in salad.

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The private approaches the foreman and asks:
-Companion ensign, tell, how many you can eat rolls on an empty stomach?
- Well, rolls pyat.
-Is here wrong. On an empty stomach you can eat only one roll, and the others will already be on a stomach in which something est.
-What interesting riddle, - the ensign thinks. - I will go to her captain zagadayu.
-Companion captain, tell, how many you can eat rolls on an empty stomach?
- Well, vosem.
-Eh is a pity for rolls, you here would tell "five", I so would pin up you.

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The Russian in Amsterdam got acquainted with the elderly Dutch. Started talking about voyne:
-Yes, - the Dutch speaks, - Germans and at us behaved with brutality, took away bicycles and into place did not put!

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The man caught the Goldfish and prosit:
-Make so that every day was on February 23!
- Was late, the man! Your woman already ordered that every day was on March 8!

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Received socks for February 23? You want to revenge??
podari to it on March 8 Tampaxes. And that - too a sanitary product...

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Somewhat quicker on February 23, and that shaving foam comes to an end and socks whole remained a little...

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After muster the sergeant decided something to mark in a notebook. Got into a pocket behind a pencil - and there it net.
-It at you behind an ear, companion sergeant, - someone from stroya.
- The Devil told you losses, ordinary! Where your martial bearing? Behind what ear it is concrete?!