Jokes about holidays

Read funny Jokes about March 8

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Dear women, be careful with requirements, they can sometimes play with you a dirty trick.

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- Darling, and buy me for March 8 these here spirits, they with a smell spring sada.
-I watch That, they cost as our lodge together with uchastkom.
-to Darling well buy, such now in mode.
-Aha that I to a garden to shish kebabs went then with friend

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- Darling, you bought me for March 8 a gift?
- Of course, dorogaya.
- And it will be pleasant to me?
- If will not be pleasant, will give me, I dreamed of such spinning long ago.

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Darling, you bought me for March 8 a gift? - Of course, expensive. - And it will be pleasant to me? - If it is not pleasant, you will give me, I dreamed of such spinning long ago.

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- Darling, present me for March 8 the car! Pleasure washing
-, I am not sure that you will cope with its management even if at it will be korobka-avtomat.
-do not invent. About the stiralkoy-machine gun at me any problems.

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- And you that me will present to darling for March 8?
- Well, something such, with all the heart!
- is better from Versace!

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- Darling, to what you at me suspicious!
- Yes with you differently nelzya.
-Is possible. Simply it is not necessary to see my lover in each man sitting in a case.

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The 8th of March, apteka:
-Give one condom!
- Oh, go for appointment to the girl?
- Is not present, blya, on meeting to Bolotnaya Square!

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The 8th of March, evening. A call to the ensign domoy:
-we Congratulate you, companion ensign, with prazdnikom.
-But after all I am not a woman!
- Yes, but * the decent.

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The 8th of March. To them, women, sweet tea with a cake and a chocolate, and to us, men, again to guzzle this bitter tasteless vodka...

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The 8th of March - the international day of revenge of men for socks and ties!!!

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The 8th of March is international WOMEN'S Day. Happily to note, our darlings! And I with friends - on beer, and on soccer!

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The 7th of March. At numerous requests of men, Idle time shampoo, Usual lotion, Her Knows What lipstick and spirits "Yes any already" went on sale...

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If do not know that to present to the wife for March 8 - sort, at last, a fir-tree!

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If on March 8 presented you not of what you dreamed, so it is necessary to dream much more loudly next time.

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If only men operated this world... The eighth of March would postpone to February twenty ninth. Time in chetyr still can be taken out years it.

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If you consider women by the weaker sex, try to draw at night on yourself a blanket.

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The wife - muzhu:
-Darling, you did not forget, what today on March 8?
-Sho-au-au... Again?

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The wife addresses to the husband which is read gazetu:
-by Vasily, stop "agakat" immediately! I as do not talk 10 minutes.

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The wife before new year buys a bottle of vodka,
prikhodit home and speaks muzhu:
-This will stand to 23 fevralya.
husband thought, takes off trousers and speaks:
- Then this will lie till March 8.

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The wife asks at muzha:
-Darling, that you will present to me for March 8?
- I Will bang you! I will not give
-A!
- Well also you will be as the silly woman without gift to go!!!!

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The wife asks muzha:
-That you will present to me for March 8?
-Ya I will rape you! If I will not be given to
-A?
- Well then go as the silly woman, without gift!

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The wife in the morning on March 8 awakes the husband and asks:
-with the Road. You remember, what today a holiday?
- Of course, I remember. Today on February 23 on old style.

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Female prazdniki:
-on March 8,
- birthday of the girlfriend (because it is 3 years more senior),
- put when scales,
- the antenna broke does not catch the Sport channel.

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The woman for March eighth invited to herself muzhchinu.
nagotovila, laid a table. After the man drank everything and ate, it clung to nemu:
- And now you moy.
-Well nafig, mine!

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Women least of all talk in February because February - the shortest mesyats.
muzhchiny make to women gifts at the beginning marta.
v gratitude. For February.

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Women of the whole world decided to rename on March 8 in 11. Two sticks, than two holes are better!?

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- Zhora, you heard, Syoma presented to the girl for March 8 the child! Still I do not understand
-Ya, what for?!
-Ya I beg you, the neighbour's child Nyuma too could not understand in any way, kuda
ego drag...

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- What in a day Friday 13?
- Oh, is awful day when witches, frights and mermaids organize a sabbath.
- Here only should not confuse Friday March 13 and 8....

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The remarkable gift to women by March 8 was prepared by firm of "Ob" .
teper they can choose to themselves laying under color of eyes.

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Remarkable gift for March 8 for the girls liking to wear clothes with a deep frank decollete,
- a gold kulonchik in the form of a beautiful plastinochka on which three words are engraved: "To look in the face!"

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Sketch on the near future.... - I - on March 8! Hi, men... Accept my condolences, but I came!

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The man in jeweler magazin.
devushka-prodavshchitsa:
-Oh comes, the man as it is good that you to us came, soon on MARCH 8 and we have two weeks of 20% skidki.
-Kupite something as a gift to yours girl.
-Vot a kulonchik can offer, gold, in the form of a heart, your girl very much ponravitsya.
muzhik (sadly):
-U is not present me the girl...
prodavshchitsa koketlivo:
-Really! Such prominent, handsome, tall man - is also not present the girl? Why?!
muzhik is (even more sad):
- the Wife not razreshayet.
23 should be noted February so that everything stood... to 8 marta.
-Expensive!!!! What to present to you for March 8? - Oh, well I do not even know... - Then I give you one more year on reflections.

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Come into the sex shop the man with the woman. The woman very full, and the man - hudenkiy.
prodavshchitsa:
-That interests you?
muzhchina:
-Something original for the wife by March 8th! Take
prodavshchitsa:
-erotic linen. It is very sexual and fashionable!
koroche choose to the wife super erotic linen of the largest razmera.
prodavshchitsa:
- The Man, and you do not want to take Viagra for sharpness of feelings?
MUZHIK:
-E is not present. To look at this show, I am better kuplyu
korvalola!!!

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The girl podruge:
-Well calls, what the husband for March eighth presented to you? Box
- Two Duo, tenth Dzhifors, two gigabytes of a RAM, screw 500Gb...
- Wow! You will allow to measure?.

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The man calls the foreman: М: Vasily Gavrilovich I congratulate you on a holiday, the international Women's Day on MARCH 8, I wish good luck, health, progress in work and private life.... П:. So I it seems not the woman that to congratulate me. М: Well woman not the woman, and stsuka you good!!!

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Call to a call center 9 marta:
-Hello, you sent a dress to Lenin's 3 address, quarter 47 yesterday?
- Yes, took place of violation of public tranquillity, loud music... Listen to
-, report to children - let still will come around. They forgot a peak-cap here, at the gun and photos will look, cool turned out!

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There was Sasha, "There was Kolya here", "There was Slava here" … Usual, it seems, inscriptions …
pochemu I strain, why??? Whether ink strange, whether handwritings … Or because I read them at myself in a case?

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The ideal wife is a woman who was born on March 8th and with whom you got acquainted and got married on March 8th. And it not only economy on gifts!
pust will only try to ask sometime: "Darling, and you did not forget, what today day?"