Jokes about politicians

Read funny Jokes about Yanukovych

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The phrase "behind me there are concrete affairs" in Yanukovych's lips gets threefold sense!

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Khoroshkovsky calls the deputy: - Here Tymoshenko wrote in the Twitter that cooked two eggs for breakfast, but ate or not, unclear. Find out urgently, whether she hid them for act of terrorism against the President

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The more Victor Fedorovich does official statements (especially abroad), the there is a strong wish that he quickly went in for beekeeping.

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Than Yanukovych differs from Kuchma?
kuchma for the third term cannot, and Yanukovych does not want.

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Black PR technologies: Victor Yanukovych presented to Sean Kara the collection of jokes about mothers-in-law and explained to the British that there the Ukrainian folk customs and traditions are described...

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To that Yanukovych p_slya vibor_v zvernuvsya to vs_kh ukra§nts_v on ros_ysk_y m і? Vtomivsya udavat z to itself shchiry ukra§ntsya?
- That N і, is simple v_n dov_rya є Lish Gann_ Herman. And there now nadto are great to a tsaba, shchob perekladat yy on an ukra§nska that shche y nagolosa rozstavlyat on the teleprompter і!

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What will be if in Ukraine choose as Yanukovych's president?
togda in Russia the president will be the cop, and in Ukraine - the convict.

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There was the fifth year of a prezidenstvo of Yanukovych … Spring … Started feeding on pigeons. They tasty and useful. Bark of trees is suitable as seasoning and a zavarivaniye of tea. Long ago I go on foot, learned a lot of new and interesting about the city and its architecture. On birthday pinned up a mongrel. On a balcony the salted sparrows roll head over heels. To myself I sew clothes. Learned as to spin bast shoes. I wash once a month, we kindle a fire in the yard and it is heated in buckets water. Gas not on - to a pocket and a gas pipe was cut out long ago long ago. Few times it was succeeded to hook fish. Varya Brazhka also I put kvass. A tea mushroom - too it is good. We think with the wife to take the credit for two and to buy the bicycle. Air in the city becomes purer, rare cars surprise children. The city becomes empty. Yesterday saw how the president on the carriage by passed. We are going to bring with the wife of the earth to the apartment and to put kartokh. There is a strong wish for a kartokha... Long ago did not eat this refined dish - a kartokh …. Boiled kartokha … fried … the baked. . Speak the president eats a kartokha.

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- Hey you! That such blue?! You agitate for Yanukovych?!
- Yes not, (ik). Simply drank a little.

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Yanukovych calls the head of the campaign headquarters Sergey of Tigipko.
-Why I lost in the first round?! Why did not print one million more false bulletins?!
- of Paper was not enough. Everything left on increase of pensions …

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Yanukovych won elections, invite him to the Kremlin to Putin. Putin gives ukazaniya:
-So, to us Yanukovych goes. Therefore the first - to send a guard of honor in the airport, the second - to give an escort of motorcyclists, and thirdly - it is necessary to double protection of a cap of Monomakh after all!

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- Why Yanukovych speaks with such long pauses between words?
- Yes you! He says okay. Just on TV most of the words have to pronounce himself.

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Yanukovych is going to address voters on televised debates. Leonid Kravchuk konsultiruyet:
-Vitya if ask about criminal records, answer briefly - a pier, by youth, by nonsense … To whom does not happen …
-A if will be asked why I in one word make five mistakes what to tell?
- Well, here in general is simple. You will tell: Youth passed, and nonsense remained.

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Yanukovych makes entry of the address to narodu.
chas, two, three … anything it is impossible. All get out different kosyaki.
montazhep: "Victor Fedorovich, you tell the alphabet, I will cut then …"

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Yanukovych complains Putinu:
-I got the Stupid people. I tell them that it became better to live, and they the heads wind. It is direct as not Russians.

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Yanukovych calls Levochkinu:
-Listen, what for a pile of papers at me on a table - I sign the second hour it "I do not object", "I do not object"?
-Victor Fedorovich, same easter cards "Christ Voskres"!

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Yanukovych at Kuchma asks:
-"You will go to the 3rd term?",
kuchma in otvet:
"And you?"

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Yanukovych lies on plank beds with even tremya.
-Kolya Vitya loves mambu.
-loves mambu.
-Fedya loves a mamba there is from under plank beds a Black, keeps for zhopu.
- And the mambo does not love you.

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- Why Yanukovych cannot become the prime minister of Australia? Because it already pr?m?r-minister of Ukraine?
- Is not present, not potomu.
-Because does not know English?
- Is not present, not potomu.
-Because professor?
- Is not present, n

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Yanukovych appointed to himself a salary to 50% of Yushchenko.
teper to the President by a lunch will give only seven plates of tortoise soup, and seven hazel grouses.

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Yanukovych addresses to German:
-I signed three Decrees today: "About fight against business", "About poverty support" and "About fight for corruption"...
vrode mixed nothing?

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Yanukovych left for Iraq with 3kh day visit. Dear Iraqi resistance! The people of Ukraine convincingly ask to turn the course of history of our country! On you the last hope!

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- Why Yanukovych refused participation in the summit of NATO devoted to Afghanistan? Because Putin forbade?
- Is not present, he decided that problems of the Taliban in Afghanistan should not distract it from problems of a deriban in Ukraine.

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Yanukovych writes the address to the people, reaches the phrase: "our economy revives" and at the secretary asks:
- And as it is correct to write: the economy vozroshdatsya or revives?
- Through, konechno.
-You watch as it revives and written...

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Yanukovych signed the Decree according to which the candidate for president has to have length of service the president not less than 5 years.

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Yanukovych caught gold rybku.
rybka:
-Well, what three desires at you? Hear
yanukovich:
-, and it seems everything I have a herring, can che adjust to you?
I released rybku.
rybka thinks: "the real boy, all the same I will execute his desires. That will want, I will make" .
edet Yanukovych on the route, Maybakh overtakes him. Here, thinks, the real wheelbarrow, itself takuyu.
opa, - goes already to Maybakhe, leather salon, mahogany, the TV set of Fashion TV shows, maids on a podium hodyat.
yanukovich looks and thinks: to me such sekretarshu.
op, - already the girl also sits next. Eh, me about twenty years ago, Yanukovich.
opa thinks.... - a chamber, plank beds, a skilly in hands.

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Yanukovych promised Tymoshenko's voters - especially, in east areas - that their voices will be considered. More precisely, are already considered - in favor of Victor Fedorovich.

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Yanukovych visited pig farm. After that the editorial board of the newspaper sits and solves how call a picture sobytiya.
-Victor Fedorovich Yanukovych among pigs Can "? "
- Is not present. Badly poluchayetsya.
- And can: "Pigs round Victor Fedorovich Yanukovych? "
- Is not present, too not ochen.
utrom there is a newspaper with a picture, under it the signature: "The third at the left - Victor Fedorovich Yanukovych".

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Yanukovych for the sake of a meeting with the patriarch Kirill even interrupted the rest. It opened eyes, asked "Who is it?" and again went on leave.

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Yanukovych asks Azarova:
-Kak us with a demographic situation?
Not really - every week in Ukraine dies out whole derevnya.
-Horosho that we live in the city!

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Yanukovych asks Azarova:
-Kak the word a demilitation is written?
you thought up it, to you and to solve.

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Yanukovych asks Popov:
Why at Kiyevsovet's meeting it was not succeeded to dismiss Dovgy?
Da you do not worry. Though Lesik also kept a chair, a chair at it any more not that.

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Yanukovych, Tigipko and Herman lead educational discussion with the 17-year-old student who threw into the prime minister yaytso.
yanukovich (reproachfully): Eh, the guy, I in your years...

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Yanukovych shocked: the computer virus became the president of Romania. Victor Fedorovich drew such conclusion when he was told that elections in Romania were won by Traian Basescu.

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Yanukovych on air of Slavik of Shustrogo.
-Thanks, Victor Fedorovich, is not present more questions, - tells vedushchiy
-It as it? I still have two answers, - Yanukovych is surprised.

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- Many started to respect Yanukovych when he came to protesters to the Maidan to drink a tea in palatke.
-Speak, on the same tent already established the sign "Tea at Yanukovych".

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Yanukovych sprashivayut:
-Pochemu Ukraine did not want to send the representative to delivery of Nobel Peace Prize to the Chinese dissident?
Aga that China withdrew from Ukraine not only the ambassador, but also the Troyeshchinsky market?

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To Yanukovych set question :
-Pochemu you still hold near yourself Bogatyreva who was expelled from Party of Regions?
Because against the blonde I feel like the genius.

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America. There is a court session. The respondent - 86-year-old starushentsiya.
rasskazyvayet:
-Business was so. In the silent sunny day I sat in a public garden on a small bench and fed pigeons. Suddenly the young man and kladet
mne a hand on a hip sits down by me. At first I wanted to be indignant, but it became gently and tenderly to stroke me, and to me it became so good that I promolchala.
ved passed forty years since I the last time was with the man. Then it began to iron my breast, and it became even better for me. I
togda I exclaimed: "Take me, take me all. I all yours!" But here he jumped and shouted: "Since April first you, the granny!" Tell, your honor,
chto I made not so, having shot this villain?