Jokes about holidays

Read funny Jokes about March 8

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In the heading "questions chitateley" newspapers. Reader's
question : "I worried on March 8. Whether any privileges and compensations rely me?"

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Due to the sharp increase in prices for flowers it is offered to rename a holiday into "Day of a flower spekulant" on March 8.

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At school of the girl congratulated guys on the 23rd fevralya.
nastala turn of guys to congratulate little girls with the 8th marta.
nu those sit and solve, what gift sdelat.
sasha:
-I think them it is worth presenting kosmetiku.
sergey:
- And I think it is necessary to present everyone flowers and that that of office prinadlezhnostey.
Vovochka:
-Outside March. All of us were born in a year of the Cat...
VSE:
-I che... you want to present toys?
Vovochka:
-What nafig toys?!!! The main thing to be defined: who whom ?$ $ать will be!!!

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The greatest provocation 20 veka.
prazdnik dealers in flowers thought up on March 8, and dumped everything on Klaru
tsetkin.

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Cheerfully the taxi driver Mamedov met on March 8. Having seen alone going girl, he offered her a free pass!
devushka out of politeness refused. But personal charm... and Mamedov's mount helped to overcome maiden modesty!

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Evenings there was a Monday, today again Monday, and we are short of money - thanks Women's Day...

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Vovochka from kindergarten brought the card made by it by March 8 with applikatsiyey.
artistichnaya the grandmother very skillfully represented vostorg:
-Yes who made it?
-Ya!
- Yes what charm! What beauty!
Vovochka gordo:
- And you thought, I any х##ню for a holiday will palm off on you?!

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The husband comes back home, rings a door. The wife - lyubovniku:
- The Devil! The husband was secured …
otkryvayet a door and to the husband in hands a bucket with garbage dayet:
-Oh, darling, I was so tired today, was so tired, take out garbage, please!
TEM time the lover left and thinks: "What clever mistress at me". The hubby pretty comes home, and to it Wife:
-Oh, I so was tired today, take out garbage!
IDET to the yard also thinks: "Here the silly woman, the whole day of the house, and garbage cannot take out"

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- Take from the refrigerator of 10 eggs, put on a table remained seven and wipe a floor, next time be extremely vnimatelny.
-Take a basin and break about its corner of egg, pour out their contents in taz.
-Wipe a table from yolks, be accurate. So, in

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On the eighth of March the husband got up a bit earlier, made to the wife a breakfast, ubral
kvartiru, having run all over a set of shops, having defended a set of turns,
prigotovil a festive lunch and having fallen in a bed,
sovershenno exhausted and weakened podumal:
-Really me now late at night also will bang?!

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Here it, hard man's life, it is good that it only once in a year. Not man's this business to wash, erase and clean. And here on fishing with friends … this business.

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All answers to congratulations since February 23 and on March 8 share on two categories: 1) Thanks, is very pleasant 2) Thanks, and it who?

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Two girlfriends meet. One angry, very evil. Another it and asks:
-You that such? You understand
-... here the 8th of March, and the husband threw me, a wages did not pay out,
premii deprived. Well there are I in the evening all as the beaten dog, come in temnyy
podjezd. and here some man grabs me hand, puts to a wall... Also I ask
Ya: "You will bang me? "
-A it?
-A it, the swine, smiled and asked: "And you will vote for me?"

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Two meet podruzhki.
-Well as passed on March 8?
- the Husband banged since morning! Wash with
-A a jacket presented, the fool!

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Two friends meet 8 marta:
-How are you doing?
- Yes here bought flowers to the woman!
- So they artificial!
- And the woman at me - rubber!

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Two former classmates meet before March 8. One ambassador of reorganization became the businessman, and the second remained an engineer. They who that is going to present to the wife start discussing
I.
businessmen speaks: - I will buy the crocodile handbag. And if it is not pleasant to it, I will buy a diamond necklace. If again it is not pleasant to it, I will buy Merce. And if Merce is not pleasant, I will give it money, how many will ask, and let her go and buys that wants!
inzhener somehow became sad, and then speaks: - Yes, well and problems at you! And I will buy the new bedroom-slippers. And if only they are not pleasant to it, let it barefoot go on h@y!

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You think on March 8 the international Women's Day?! :) Break off!:) At 22:45 Barcelona plays
8 of March with the Arsenal:) Little girl's
izvinite :)

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You have the right to keep silence. Everything that you will tell on March 8th...

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Where such to find, some treasure is simple, without deliberating married such girl.

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Gena speaks cheburashke:
-Know that, the Cheburashka...
- That? I cannot solve
-Ya in any way on what to congratulate you: since March 8 or since February 23?

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The main thing to get out of a situation in time, thus, without having fallen face down in dirt. It is necessary to follow an example of this husband, the man got out, without having spent thus special efforts, and to the wife made pleasantly.

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The main thing not the price and as a gift it is presented. The main thing that it was about love and in all sincerity, and the price is not so important.

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On March 8th at professor of the house the call is distributed. He takes the call, and from there students govoryat:
-Companion professor, since March 8 you!
professor in nedoumenii:
-It still that? I to you that, woman, perhaps?
- Well, I do not know, the woman you, or not, but a bough still that …

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Speak - women ask to transfer on March 8 on 11: they do not need two holes, it is better - two sticks...

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- Give quicker! There women without us already eat a pie! Cover with
-a door on kitchen, the moron! Well, what boys, on one?

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The lady addresses to invited for March 8 pevtsu:
-Well, right now will start singing, or we will allow guests to have fun a little?

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Two times a year, on March 8 and on September 1, in Russia celebrate a professional holiday - Day of the Flower Speculator.

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Two children in a sandbox: - And the father presented to mother for March 8 a set of pretty jars: whether FOR spices, whether WITH spices... - And my father presented to mother a pot-belly! whether FROM beer, whether FOR beer...

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The girl from an intelligent family enters the institute in another gorod.
through month to it the Daughter, how you calls mama:
- There? Speak at you there students drink, smoke,
upotreblyayut drugs, have chaotic sex, enter v
religioznye sekty.
dochka, udivlenno:
-RELIGIOUS SECTS???

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Girls, remember that for March 8 and on your birthday of ex-boyfriends does not happen.

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Business was on celebration in one office on March 8. The people celebrate, girls congratulate - everything normally. But... The manager Max decides to draw with
molodoy attention of the people, starts telling: You know
-, at us in the city recently one girl cut an axe, cut on pieces... - and all in detail.
devushki try to bring to reason him: - Max, after all a holiday today, besides, we sit at a table. And you such - and in paints.
ON: - And that? Girls: - Well, on March 8 after all... You about love...
Makc: - And, well of course! - and joyfully declares: - she there also was raped!

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Children - flowers of our life. Anybody so will not take care of mother, as this girl. An invaluable gift for March 8th.

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My dear, beloved Windows!
KHOT you often are buggy though constantly you force me to be nervous when I write the document in the Word and I forget to keep it though you brake when I ask you about something though sometimes you do not understand, I all the same love you. What you would not be? still young the ninety fifth, the ninety eighth, become the adult woman two-thousand, or blossomed unknown beauty of XP who already accumulated experience? I all the same love you and I will love you throughout all your course of life. I chose you among a great number of others: multiuser Linux, QNX working in real time, fantastically beautiful MacOS. Also I promise that I will be always with you. And as you grew up lately! In the latest version you had seductive rotundities, now more pleasant to work with you. And you are buggy now less, here, however, to demand from pieces of iron of much became. But you it can forgive, after all you are worthy only the strongest, most powerful and fastest iron! Do not long, let others will not congratulate you, but know that there is at least one person who appreciates you as the woman.

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- Darling that to present to you for March 8? Choose, what you want - a brilliant necklace, a mink coat, a country house on the French Riviera?.
- Lovely, present me only this evening and the lyubov.
-It is removed! - the director declared.

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- Darling that to present to you for March 8?
- Buy me shubu.
-Pleasure washing, you know, what salary at me...
- Then not znayu.
-Well, give some podskazku.
-Well. I give the help: in our branch of the bank simply nikudyshny security system.

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- Expensive!!! What to present to you for March 8?
- Oh, well I do not even know … Then I give
- to you one more year on reflections.

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- Darling that to present to you for March 8?
- Oh, well I do not even know... Then I give
- to you one more year on reflections.

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Expensive!!!! What to present to you for March 8? - Oh, well I do not even know... Then I give
- to you one more year on reflections.

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- Darling that you would like to receive by March 8: SMS or MMS?