Jokes about holidays

Read funny Jokes about February 23

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February 23 - Defender of the Fatherland Day!
24 of February - Day of the Halfback!
25 of February - Sent the Goalkeeper behind beer …

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On February 14 - Day of Sex for otkrytku.
23 February - Day man's dezodoranta.
8 Marta - Day of revenge for a deodorant.

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February 23. ONA:
-A I on money which were on a gift bought you cosmetics from me!
ON:
-A is that money which I gave you?
ONA:
-Aha) in vain of course. But, a pancake, I yourself mood podnyala.
on:
-generally, you on my money wanted to buy me a gift, and bought cosmetics. Since March 8, an abuse?

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On February 23 once again understood that successfully married. Instead of the expected socks, pants and a deodorant the beloved wife presented me a box of favourite beer...

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23 fevralya.
-That the gift turned out perfectly well, it is necessary to warm up properly, - the girl told, going to congratulate the guy, and thrust into a mouth Chupa Chups.

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February 23. Two podrostka:
-Presented that?
- Yes. And I will not go in armiyu.
-Because of a gift? stepeni.
-Give some
-B konkretney.
-I Wake up. The mother on watch, sends SMS: "I congratulate. A gift in shkafu
na to the top shelf in a yellow box". I open a case, I look on verkhnyuyu
polku - boxes full, and yellow is not present. VOT.
-I do not drive! Why will not take in army?
- Colour-blind person I.

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On February 23 - commemoration on day of sacred Valentina.
devyat of days...

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On February 23 it is devoted. The Russian, the Arab and the Jew sit and brag, who from them the real man. Evrey:
-I in the childhood was circumcised, but I even at such early age did not cry! Arab:
- And when I at Saddam served as the eunuch, so to me eggs without anesthesia chopped off. But I as Allah's soldier, even staid without turning a hair! Russkiy:
- And I by bicycle went yesterday, and mnekh*y a chain healed, so I slightly did not bite off a call! Morals: not that man who does not cry, and that is at kogokh*y more long!

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On February 23, after a grandiose wine party the general wakes up. Opens eyes and sees that the aide-de-camp cleans his oblevanny single-breasted coat, what somehow to hide confusion the general speaks:
-Here youth went, absolutely are not able to drink! Yesterday some leytenantik to me all single-breasted coat poured!
adyyutant:
-is exact, companion general!!! Absolutely grew insolent!!! He to you also in trousers shitted!!!

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On February 23 Putin makes the speech on parade: Let's not shame heroic traditions of the Russian army! Let's bring up new Alekseev Maresyev and Sychev!

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February 23. Putin at meeting in the Kremlin: I charge to the government and Gazprom to offer last time Ukraine to sign the contract on transition of sale of gas at market prices. And if do not sign, to disconnect deliveries to the 10th mornings!

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On February 23 near Okruzhnaya Road remains of the young man of years 20-23 are found. The young man vigorously walked in the direction of the metro station "Domodedovo", clasping under way trousers.

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On February 23 Stierlitz put on the old, favourite budenovka, took a red banner in hand and, singing revolutionary songs, went to a reykhskantselyariya.
B is day, it was, more than ever, close to a failure.

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Hour night on a post hears steps and krichit:
-Stand who all right! From darkness donositsya:
-You that shout, Fedka? Here I will approach and I harm! The
-! - the sentry joyfully responded. - Pass!

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- You that such excited? What happened?
- Presented to the husband for February 23 a set fishing blesen.
-Well, everything is correct. It at you every weekend leaves 10 years for fishing. That not so? He it played with
-, twirled and asks: And wha

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- You that such sad?
- Yes my boyfriend because of crisis lost all the dengi.
-So you so strongly worry about it?
- Yes, will not be enough it for me very much.

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- Than current crisis differs from crisis of the 98th year?
- that in the 98th year it was fashionable to have the mobile phone, and now - the worker.

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- That to you, boys, it was never necessary to SMOOTH OUT the Homeland...

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- That the gift turned out perfectly well, it is necessary to warm up properly,
- were told by the girl, going to congratulate the guy since February 23, and thrust into a mouth Chupa Chups.

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Stierlitz went along a corridor. Came nearer on February 23, and there was to drink not on chto.
-Mister a gruppenfyurer! - it stopped M?ller. - Will not borrow to me 100
marok till May holidays?
myuller dal.
"is Well remembered the last phrase", - Stierlitz thought, caught up with M?ller and asked 50 pfennigs.

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- Eh, as it is good to celebrate on February 23 when you know that it ne
tvoy a professional holiday!

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Yushchenko suggested to postpone day of the defender of Ukraine since February 23 to January 29. Remind, this day the rocket got to a house or to the plane from Tel Aviv?

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I precisely know that such loneliness: it when on February 24 you see the man buying to himself shaving foam!

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On January 25 - day studenta.
23 February - day of the unaccomplished student!

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… Yesterday I go by the bus and I hear as the man speaks by phone: - Hi Lyus, with a holiday you! -... - Well as with what, since March 8 you! -... - On March 8 came! -... - On March 8 today! -... - Yes you went to an ass, cloth ears! …

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- And I to the wife on the past on March 8 a magic seven-petal flower podaril.
- And what? We eat
- that we want and we do not get fat, year without bolnichnykh.
-Wow. And still? I earn by
-Ya a heap babok.
-How many? I do not know
-. The wi

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- And you congratulate the wife since March 8?
- Is not present, we have an intelligent family.

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- And when there was no holiday on March 8, for example in the Middle Ages, kak
chestvovali women yet?
- Displayed for them big fires.

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- And here I presented to the mother-in-law for March 8 a stiralka and sushilku.
-Probably, a lot of money spent?
- Is not present, absolutely nemnogo.
- And what it for the technician such?
- Basin and towel.

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- And sho the neigbour so is upset? Well, the husband for March 8 drank, so after all he and spirits presented to it... You understood nothing
-: her husband drank spirits which presented to it for March 8.

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- Abram! Who thought up the 8th of March? I know
-Ya? Klara Tsetkin! What for?
-Ya I know
-A? Probably traded in flowers!

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- The grandma, you to whom greetings send it to a chamber and on the coming holiday on March 8 congratulate?!
- Expert?
- It to you not "Field of wonders", but polling precinct!

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Bank of Moscow declared that Baturina did not steal from them 13 billion. To it they were presented simply by March 8 at the request of Luzhk.

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Two talk podrugi:
-to You that the husband presented for March 8?
- Big soft toy!
- Soft...?!
- But the neighbor - firm!

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- What are we going to give our women?
- Yes, they went all the bath ...
- Exactly! Set for saunas.

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In the same time two meet yes other end of the city muzhika.
-Cool there was an evening! At once went to me, did not punch brains,
potrakhalis, I fell asleep, slept, mood excellent!
-A at me some horror. It was necessary to trudge in restaurant - tam
ofitsiant, the pancake, brought the most expensive wine. Inconveniently, it was necessary vzyat.
prishli home - at me two hours did not rise, hour could not terminate, potom
chas could not fall asleep...

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In day On the Eighth of March pupils instead of the traditional button enclosed on stul
uchitelnitse Carefree - and it had all day a good mood.

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On the eve of a female holiday football players of the Moscow Spartak, having lost to the Arsenal 0-1, gave the Russian women a huge gift. Now 7, on March 8 their men simply could not speak about soccer!

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New condoms with aroma of tulips and mimozy.
pozdravlyayte the women since March 8 all the year round went on sale!