Short jokes

Read funny Short jokes

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- Little Johnny! Not biting his nails! And in general - get away from the corpse.

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- Vovochka, do not shake on the father: not for this purpose it was hung up!

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The doctor, at me with feet badly!
-C feet well, without feet badly. Following!

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- Hallo, it is fast? The mother-in-law got sick... How - do not treat?! And who treats? Thanks. Hallo, it is a serpentarium?

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Since today jokes reckon with participation of a bear as the political.

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ERROR: During your work in our company there was a mistake. Try to leave and get a job once again.

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Godzilla - a Japanese legend of the first visit of Chuck Norris to Tokyo.

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Ha of automatic telephone exchange:
- For cohabitation!

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Ha reception at stomatologa:
-Vovochka, the sonny, open a mouth, tell "A-a-a-a". Let the uncle will take out a finger.

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Ha plyazhe:
-Borenka, get out from water! Let at you handles legs will wither!

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Ha to a wall in student's stolovoy:
- Ate - give another!

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Ha examination in institute. Professional - Abituriyentu:
-Why you decided to come to our University.? To
- The Father, do not ask silly questions.

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Nark put hemp, half a year looked after it, watered, hilled. At last cut off, dried, hammered a jamb, got high and zadumalsya:
-Well why I am not Minister of Agriculture?

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The real woman in the life has to make three things: to destroy the house, to cut a tree and to give birth to the daughter!!!

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The chief angrily asks sekretarshu:
-Where dust from a surface of my table? I wrote down some phone numbers there.

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Hard business love. And not female.

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Never speak to the foreman that the earth round, and that will force to equal...

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The new coat of arms of Ukraine after Chernobyl: two-headed Ukrainian.

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At night to the bar two drunk men wear out the third, in general the zero. Suit to bapmenu:
-to us on hundred, and to it mineral, it at a wheel...

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Microsoft issued for new Russians the MS Office 97 version under the EVERYTHING PUT 97 trademark.

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Nimbus 98, Nimbus 2000, Nimbus XP... Take off for a window leaf!

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XXI century. Natasha Rostova works the second day in the company which employees are also Rzhevsky and Pierre Bezoukhov.

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- And what, the grandma, AIDS in your village is?
- Yes had everything, thank God...

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- And to you, the patient, is necessary only rest. - But, the doctor, look at my language! - It too needs rest.

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And most Vovochka suffered from crisis. It managed to receive the two that day when his nervous father got under reduction.

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- And what it is your child of others, weaker, kids in kindergarten beats?
- It it in the Russian army prepares for service...

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And after all indeed well is to some, after all gosudar does not see theft, and the security guard selling.

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And after all women are similar to the blue …. what muck.

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And in general, main thing not a victory, but participation! - Hitler thoughtfully spoke, taking out from the safe a browning.

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- And I in a military registration and enlistment office watched yesterday the fairy tale. As one man of two generals supported, and his son did not go to army.

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And now about the main thing: today the main was late for work because of traffic jams with which shot at a ceiling in the company of drunk friends.

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And I have a grief - my Persian cat on my Persian carpet made the Persian Gulf!!!

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- And my grandfather foreknew, in what day will die. And even hour priblizitelno.
- The Psychic, perhaps, was? What
- to hell psychic! The judge told it.

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And life is adjusted, - Vasily Ivanovich thought crossing a channel of the Urals.

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And you know that Mumu caught a goldfish, made a wish and became The Hound of the Baskervilles!

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And you know, what Pelevin started writing continuation to the novel "Chapayev and Emptiness"? Is called - "Buddenny and the Karma" …

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Whether and you know, what superstitious surgeons at the end of operation leave a coin that that returned still in the patient's stomach?...

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- And how coffee, music, sex, at last? - You want music and sex? Go to the sex shop and buy inflatable Tchaikovsky.

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A.G. Lukashenko: - The second time changed the constitution..., it is time to think and about the Bible!