Short jokes

Read funny Short jokes

<** Previous Topic          Next Topic **>

655  656  657  658  659  660  661  662  663  664  665  666

And that, Medvedev, so Medvedev... If only in a raspberry brake did not sit out and did not fall into hibernation.

*****

- And my woman, well the simply abnormal! Slightly that, climbs behind parsley on a pear!
- It is exact - shifted!
-A that! After all every time instead of parsley picks fennel!

*****

- But the new tax inspector of a bribe will not take?
- Yes you that? The most honest person! Before it worked two years as the director of a bath, so was never washed!

*****

And suddenly the real Medvedev is not present for a long time, and he is played by Bezrukov...

*****

And as everything began!... "Preved, Medved!"

*****

And deer it is better! - the Chukchi drew a conclusion, having visited on a visit at the Korean.

*****

- And I know, why children happen, - the six-year-old girl of the seven-year-old declares. - Eka nevidal, - that speaks, - and I know, why do not happen.

*****

A. Petrov on a symposium on the higher mathematics easily refuted probability theory by means of three thimbles and one ball.

*****

- And me beer with a bath any resort zamenyaet.
polzy approximately as much, but: closer there to reach - time, closer back to reach - two!...

*****

- And here stay in my skin, - the wolf told and ate the Little Red Riding Hood.

*****

- And how you met my wife?
- A ... case. No one to blame.

*****

And now? - "Poked, Medved!"...

*****

Whether but not to send M?ller on h@y? - Stierlitz thought. "Though, most likely, M?ller will not go to it..."

*****

- And you tasted new drink "Mona Lisa"?
- Is not present, and what it?
- Two-three glasses and a strange smile already will never descend from your face!

*****

- And where you spend evenings? - Houses, together with the wife. - This love! - Like hell! It is radiculitis...

*****

And fishes in this river such hungry that get out on the coast, thrash fishermen and eat all bait...

*****

- And if to cook Chuck Norris's eggs, he will become even more abruptly? - Its eggs do not cook.

*****

... and the director, Anatoly Aleksandrovich, subordinates tenderly call Anal...

*****

- And you heard, what scarecrow Rabinovich put at himself on a kitchen garden?
- Is not present, and what?
- before terrible that ravens returned a crop for last year!

*****

- And I verses pishu.
-Well and how, it turns out?
- Half: to write it turns out, verses - no!

*****

Nevertheless, in what pose it is best of all to have conscience?"

*****

And you went to Putin's elections?

*****

And you, Stierlitz, I will ask to remain not made up.

*****

Entrants with a name middle name Mar Ivanna are taken in a teachers training university without examinations.

*****

Abram meets Moyshu:
-Listen, you could lend to the friend hundred rubles?
- Could. But I have no friends.

*****

Night Knight bus. Harry: - I will be able to reach to Kosoy Lane? Driver: - No. Ron: - And I?

*****

The bus costs at a stop. The driver gets a vodka bottle, whether asks:
- There Will be who?
Bce are silent. Drank, smoked. Whether gets still odnu.
- There Will be who?
molchat. Drank. Dresses motorcycle shlem:
-Well, suicide bombers, went!

*****

The traffic inspector, having stopped the car: - You that, did not see a sign? Driver: - Forgive, did not notice being drunk

*****

Cars from Germany, especially for Russia. Numbers of a body and the engine are killed directly on the conveyor.

*****

The propaganda poster on a hen house: "Do not put off that it is possible to postpone today!"

*****

The lawyer acts in sude:
-Misters jurors! The fact of that chose me the accused as the lawyer, testifies to his full diminished responsibility.

*****

The administrator of hotel speaks kliyenty:
-If you do not prove to me that it is your wife, I will not be able to lodge you vmecte.
- And if you manage to prove that it is not my wife, I will be grateful to you to the death...

*****

Sea of Azov: for anchor buoys NOT to COME!

*****

Academician: - What is science if the student can, and I cannot?

*****

Acceleration in French. The six-months kid speaks to mother: - Mother, prepare the second breast for evening, I will have supper not one.

*****

Action in a supermarket: for those who buys beer on Monday morning, the cashier peeps more silently.

*****

- To Alya, it is a bath?
- Is not present, it is Balodya!!!

*****

Alexander Lukashenko was entitled the Lifelong President of Belarus.

*****

The alcoholic Igor could not understand how cats drink milk until broke 0.5 "Finland" about a floor of kitchen.