Short jokes

Read funny Short jokes

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The blonde sincerely considers that Merry Cristmas is a wife of Santa Claus.

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The blonde sent to the husband of the SMS: "Darling, you left at home phone"

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Blondinke:
- The Girl, you get off at the next stop?
- Is not present, I through odnu.
- Then let's change?
- That is I on following, and you through one?

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- Blondes - silly women, brunettes - ill-natured persons, red - whores... And normal women in this world are?... - Is. Look in a mirror, darling!

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Blondes wear sunglasses on hair because if to dress them on a nose, it becomes dark and terrible.

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Bly. again the president after a New Year's congratulation forgot to eat a piece of paper, again everything will not work.

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The main thing not to cure the rich patient, - the main thing longer not to allow to die.

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Boggart Sirius Black turned in... huge flea

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- My God, - the doctor sighs, - in my times it was simple heart...

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The boxer suffering from insomnia on reception at the doctor. The doctor sovetuyet:
-Going to bed, do mental arithmetic: one, two, three and yet not zasnete.
-It not for me, at account 9 I jump on feet.

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The patient on operational stole:
- The Doctor, you can take off this foolish mask, I all the same recognized you!

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- The patient, open a mouth! So-so, on knees it is not necessary to rise...

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The patient behaved badly, for as the second time was operated.

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Bolnoy:
- The Doctor, my feet all blacken and blacken!... You did not try them to wash
-A?

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The patient complains on bessonitsu:
-Tonight, for example, woke up 12 times and never after that did not fall asleep.

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The patient needs timely departure of the doctor, and the quicker the doctor, the better for the patient will leave further!

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The patient shows to the doctor absolutely black yazyk.
-That happened?
- of Half of liter of vodka incidentally on fresh asphalt poured...

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The patient was on the mend. But did not reach.

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- The patient, wake up... it is time to accept sleeping pill!

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- The patient, for the 100-th time I repeat: amnesia we do not treat!

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Most chess players keep the figures.

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Most of all in "female" logic of women application to him revolts it.

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Most of all the staff of traffic police is interested in Human rights!

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Most of blondes will sustain everything, except their comparison with brunettes.

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The bum decided to commit suicide. Came into a toilet, took a rope, rose on a toilet bowl, put on a rope a neck. Suddenly sees a big stub. Decided to finish smoking. Again got on a toilet bowl, put on a rope. Suddenly the drunk not enough beer bottle sees on a window sill. Removed a rope. Drank up beer. Also thinks: "And that it I? Life is it seems adjusted!"

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Chuck Norris's beard so sharp that to it he slices paper therefore anybody never hits him into the head.

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Marriage objyavleniye:
slepomu the man needs the young companion of life pleasant to the touch.

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Marriage contracts would be much more popular if except property questions in them were considered also questions of behavior of the mother-in-law.

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The crew of hackers will help to change the password in the picture specified by you.

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- She threw me, having accused of tediousness and a pedantry. And it after 148 sexual intercourses!

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- Throw, the sergeant, all the same you will not inform... Yes not me, the idiot, - a handheld transceiver!

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Bagel, bagel! - cheerfully children shouted without understanding that the Cheburashka is fatally wounded …

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- What will be, if impotent man to put on the frigid woman? - Revolutionary situation: tops - cannot, bottoms - do not want.

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- That will be from hot: chicken, chop, pig?
-Porosenka.
-to you with a horse-radish or without? The Horse-radish cut off
-.

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- What will a woman, when the length of mini-skirts will be reduced to the navel? - Will do bouffant and lipstick.

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Buratino, lost a jacket, the alphabet, five gold, прое#ал a gold key, the Father comes domoy:
-, from what log you vystrugat me?
- From the birch!...

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Buratino did not aspire in school because more than once heard that there something is constant violently knock into the head.

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The vodka bottle, as well as the woman - attracts to itself with appearance. And good it or bad, you learn only in the morning.

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- Why accountants are mostly - women?
- Because they have nothing to hang ...