Short jokes

Read funny Short jokes

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On a visit there arrived the mother-in-law, shortly, without changing a residence, it appeared at her on a visit.

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In gostyakh.
-you washed hands with soap? mylom.
- Then tea will drink
-C without sugar.

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The doctor specified the surname in the column "cause of death".

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At the Georgian institute announcement: "Entrance examinations will not take place. All tickets are sold".

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In protection of animals vodka on hunting made more, than all Greenpeace together taken.

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In day of GAI the President solemnly assigned the 100-ruble note to a monument to the unknown Traffic police worker.

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100 thousand messages on love came to St. Valentine's Day to SMS line of trust of traffic police. About passionate man's love …

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In the rural bar work of the bartender consists in ability quickly to mix jam with moonshine.

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In kindergarten vospitatelnitsa:
-Who was described?...
... puki.
-So rise. 5 people. Who was fixed?
... puki.
-So rise. 4 persons. Who refrained?

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In kindergarten one speaks to another: - You are interested in girls? - No. - Blue, means.

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In kindergarten: - You are interested in girls? - No. - The impotent man, means.

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In the childhood mother often spoke to me: "Eat, the sonny! And that in soldiers will not be taken"... Why I ate???!!!

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In the childhood Chuck Norris dreamed to become Chuck Norris.

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The American scientists found in the jungle of Amazon the advanced chameleon - 400 colors and polyphony.

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In the house of pioneers of Kristall plant the exhibition of children's hand-made articles from alcohol, beer and moonshine opened.

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In a fight to Genya's crocodile beat out teeth. Now the Cheburashka has a good time, splitting nuts him a set of false teeth.

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In the Duma three smoked deputies are caught. They found Putin's plan.

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At the 23rd school the tinder fungus was hung up. All have a grief, and only Vovochka from 6th "B" is proud that the tinder fungus chose its stool.

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- In a gall bladder at you stones, in urine sand, in lungs lime...
- the Doctor, tell where I have clay and I will start being under construction!

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The naked man comes into women's office. Women vizzhat:
-Man, you that! In men's office it is necessary to you!
man ydivlenno:
-That I, pederast perhaps?

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In convent: - Carrot was brought … really, silly women, rejoice, it grated!!!

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In life of each man there are moments when the size does not matter.

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In life of each woman there are three periods: in the first it irritates the father, in the second - to the husband, and in the third - to the son-in-law …

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In life of professor Snape there was only one woman who could do with him that will want. Called her Joanne Rowling.

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In life there are only three things from which there is no place to get to, is a death, taxes and desire to have faster processor!!!

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- What is the multitasking Windows95?
- She buggy up and running at the same time.

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The happy mug of the fisherman is usually reflected in a mirror carp.

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As a sign of support of the Russian President Vladimir Putin residents of Nizhneputinsk suggested to rename the city into Verkhneputinsk.

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The mol best of all understands products from wool.

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In Israel are going to put a monument to Yury Gagarin since he the first told it "Went!"

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- In Israel was, at Steny Placha.
-to God the note was put, huh? by
- Aha. "I will be not soon. I bow, Vasya".

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On the Internet there was a new virus "Lukashenko". It spoils nothing in your computer, but it is impossible to survive it from a computer.

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In Spain during traditional running of bulls there was an incident - three Russians with shouts "For airborne forces" developed herd back.

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The Doctor who was out of breath muzhik:
-, the doctor rushes into an office to the doctor of a skin and venereologic clinic! More likely, tell symptoms of syphilis!
- Well, reddens also rash...
-of Foo! Glory to you, My God! At me simply turned black and fell off.

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Bring the small child into an office of the prosecutor. The prosecutor udivlyaetsya:
-Oh who to us came???
- The one who killed the grandmother, - quietly answers the kid.

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In the psychiatrist's office the doctor asks:
-On what complain?
- constantly seems to me, what me someone presleduyet.
- And long ago it with you?
- Since I ran from prison.

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In the Caucasian driving school go ekzameny:
-Listen, you drive the car, see - on the road at the left young the girl goes, on the right - old the girl. Whom to press you awake?
-Staryy.
-of Vi! Fool! The brake should be pressed!

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In China it is put to orbit the artificial satellite of Earth with the person on bortu.
chelovek got aboard incidentally.

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In Kishinev passed the hunting championship of Moldova on a woodpecker by means of the decoy puncher.