Jokes about women

Read funny Jokes about blondes

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The car rushing at great speed at last was stopped by the police officer. Drove upset blondinka.
-With what speed you went? Even I do not know
-... So know
-that you exceeded norm several times!
-Mister officer, I will be with you frank: I still badly operate the car therefore I try to get home quicker that to crush nobody.

*****

On the road "Mercedes" decayed. Stopper. Drivers signal mersu.
iz it there is a smart blonde, approaches the first hooting car and the Young man speaks Driveryu:
-, look that at me with car, and I so far instead of you pobibikat!

*****

In the market the sexy blonde tries on a sheepskin coat and asks the seller of "the Caucasian nationality":
-How much?
-Adyn night of a lubva!
devushka turns to the jockstrap standing behind it in leather kurtke:
-Vasya, pay off.

*****

- How for a long time to occupy the blonde? To Write
-on both parties of a sheet of paper "Read on the back".

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– How the Brunette between Two blondes is called?
-Interpreter.

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– How the blonde in HIGHER EDUCATION INSTITUTION is called?
-Visitor.

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– How is called when the blonde is painted under the brunette?
-Artificial intelligence.

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– How the blonde between Two brunettes is called?
-Intellectual block.

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– How the blonde recoloured in the Brown-haired woman is called?
-Artificial intelligence.

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- How is called when 15 blondes stand in a circle?
-Synchrophasotron.

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- How is called when 10 blondes cost an ear to an ear?
-Aerodynamic pipe.

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– How call the blonde And a half a brain?
-Gifted.

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– Why Our neighbor so shouted yesterday at the wife blonde? She did not want to answer
-on What spent Its money!
-a why Today it shouts even more loudly? Because Today She told
-to it...

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The blonde found a bottle. Opened a stopper, and Gene took off from there. The blonde and speaks:
-So, grant my three desires! Dzhin:
-Give I you better tr. well! Blondinka:
-Gene, it is not necessary!!! Dzhin:
-you, blondes, very silly! Blondinka:
-Why? Dzhin:
-Because you have already two desires!!!

*****

Found three blondes a bottle with gin. Gin took off. speaks:
-I Will grant one desire for kazhdoy.
pervaya speaks:
-I Want to be умнее.
Ра - and - az - and became the brown-haired woman. Vtoraya:
-I Want to be still умнее.
Ра - and - and - z - and became the brunette. And the third speaks:
-I Want to be cleverer than them obeikh.
raz - and became the man.

*****

Recently schoolmates called me on giving, and I for the first time in life worked in sadu.
ya the whole day pulled at strawberry moustaches and very much zagorela.
skazhite, whether the truth what it is necessary to pull moustaches naked, and that strawberry will not grow?

*****

New tariff plan "Blonde"! In total "wait a moment, I did not understand..." it is absolutely free now!

*****

Night. On the road there is a blonde and "votes". The car stops and the blonde sits down in it. The driver to it speaks:
-you know, and I am a maniac and I now will rape you and ubyyu.
-Anything at you it will not turn out! I remembered number!

*****

- What the blonde needs to make to grow thin for 2 kg?
-to Wash away cosmetics.

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- About My God, darling, I see the green little man! What to do to me?
-Cross the road, the silly woman!

*****

- Of what the blonde when sees in several steps before himself a banana skin thinks?
-Oh, damn! Again I will fall!

*****

Communicate the brunette and blondinka.
blondinka:
-Podruga and why you are not married yet? I wait for
bryunetka:
-Suzhenogo! And you why?
blondinka:
-A I wait for the expanded...

*****

- What general at Galley's comet and at the blonde with the reference book on quantum physics in hands?
-Both meet time in 75 years.

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- What the general between blondes and the African natives? They are ready
-proment anything on a beads, color rags and a pocket mirror.

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– What the general between the blonde And the Internet?
-is a lot Of users.

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The announcement on a dating site 1jj.ru in the section about serious otnosheniya:
"I am the high, slender, beautiful blonde. I like to jump, ride and smeyatsya.
nuzhen a trampoline, the driver and the clown"

*****

- Why the ordinary woman should explain as to change a wheel of 23 minutes, and the blonde - an hour and a half?
-need to be explained to her how to change each wheel.

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One blonde speaks drugoy:
-You know why fishes in an aquarium do not talk?
-Why? You try the head to thrust
-A into an aquarium!

*****

One blonde tells drugoy:
-Around one deception!
smotryu, on a door is written "Men", glanced, and there a toilet...

*****

One blonde speaks drugoy:
-You imagine: at ancient Greeks was shtanov.
-can be at all. Pythagoras had trousers!

*****

One blonde shares with podrugoy:
-Represent, I am pregnant! I will have triplets! As you defined
-A?
blondinka gets 3 positive dough on beremennost:
-Here see? I three times at once made the test! I am three times pregnant!!!

*****

One blonde drugoy:
-handed over on the rights Yesterday. Cool. In the car there are so much mirrors, but all back vida.
-Yes nonsense all this. It they so simply are called. How many times I in them did not look, never behind myself saw!

*****

One blonde drugoy:
-Yes at us somehow houses disconnected light - so I by candlelight took a bath …
-Glamurnenko.
-Yes well, a pancake, lie to yourself in the twilight as in a coffin moreover four candles on corners of a bathtub cost …
-Well, Gothic.

*****

One blonde - drugoy:
-Mashka though my friend, but such silly woman what light did not see. At first will oversleep with the guy, and then asks me to learn, what is his name. And I too should sleep with it to learn, what is his name.

*****

One blonde - drugoy:
-I finally was disappointed in life. It is impossible to trust anything. Opened a door on which there was an inscription "Gentlemen", and there was a toilet!

*****

One blonde asks another: - Listen and how it is correct - "Iran" or "Iraq"?

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One blonde remained on a visit with another, decided to wash the head. Minutes through five shouts from a bathroom: "What to do? At you here on shampoo it is written "for dry hair", and I already wetted the head!"

*****

One blonde comes to another on a visit, well and they of course sit down to drink coffee. Drank, and in a teapot hot water remained, and one asks another: "What with water to do that? It is a pity to pour out!" The second answers: "Put in the refrigerator! Hot water always in the house is useful!"

*****

One blonde asks at drugoy:
-As I do not know is translated? I do not know
-Ya... Estimate
-, nobody knows!